“No.” She shook her head wildly and stood up again, slapping her hands over her ears. “I don’t want to hear any more. I don’t believe any of this. I don’t know why, but you’re lying to me and I want you to stop it. Stop it! Now!”
She ran up the stairs to her room without looking to see if anyone followed her. Slamming the door as hard as she could, Jasmine threw herself onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow, sobbing.
It wasn’t long before she felt the loving sweep of her mother’s hand across her back. Hiccupping, she turned over. “Mom, please tell me it isn’t true. I’m not an alien, am I?”
“I’m afraid it’s all true, sweetheart. Your father and I are Narthani agents, and you…” Her mother brushed Jasmine’s damp bangs out of her eyes with gentle fingers and sighed. “Well, you’re just as alien as we are.”
“But why?” Jasmine wailed, burying her face in her mother’s breast. “It’s not fair! I don’t want to be an alien. What’s going to happen to me? Am I going to turn into some kind of freak?”
Her mother squeezed her hard. “Of course not! But Jasmine, your body is preparing to undergo some major changes and I think you would be wise to consider what your father has to offer.”
“What do you mean, major changes?”
“He’s kept close track of your growth statistics, and from his calculations it appears that when you complete your maturation phase, you will be well over six feet tall. Closer to seven feet, in fact.”
Jasmine drew back in horror. “What! I’m going to be a giant?”
“Well, you’re going to be very tall, anyway,” her mother said dryly.
“But you guys aren’t that tall!”
Her mother chewed her lip a moment before saying, “It’s all a matter of genetics. Both your father and I are shorter than the average Narthani—the smallest in both our families, in fact. You inherited taller genes.”
“Oh my God, I will be a freak! Nobody will ever ask me out on a date or want to kiss me or have babies with me…” She trailed off with a gulp. Oh my God, please don’t let this be happening!
“That will not be the only difference between you and Terran women, my dearest heart,” her mother said softly.
“Now what?” Jasmine groaned, bracing herself. What could be worse than being seven feet tall? “Am I going to grow an extra head or long, dripping fangs or something?”
“No, but you will have an extra orifice in your…private area.”
“Huh?” Jasmine blinked. “Are you talking about a vagina? I already know about that from health class.”
“I’m talking about your spur nook.”
She blinked harder this time, a blush creeping up her neck again. She’d felt pretty mature, tossing out the v-word as if she’d been saying it all her life, but now she felt like the world’s biggest jerk. “Do I even want to know what that is?”
“I don’t think it’s anything you need to consider at length right now. But my point is, if we don’t intervene, you will soon become dramatically different from most of your Terran companions.”
Jasmine latched on to one word. “Intervene? What are you talking about? Can you keep me from changing?”
“That’s what your father was trying to tell you, Jasmine. He’s synthesized a pheromone blocker that will prevent your body from maturing any further.”
“Keep my body from maturing.” Jasmine stared at her, her mind cranking away. If her body didn’t mature any further, that would mean… “Are you saying I’ll never grow up at all?”
“Your brain will continue to develop normally, but your body will remain as it is now.”
Dazed, Jasmine said, “You’re saying if I take this blocker Dad made, I’ll never have any boobs.”
“Not naturally.”
Jasmine shook her head, unsure what to make of that and unwilling to figure it out at the moment.
“And I’ll never get hair in…those places.”
Her mother shook her head.
“And I’ll never get my period. And I’ll never have babies…”
“Yes, that’s exactly what it means.”
Jasmine started to shake with the force of the emotion rising in her throat. “Mother, this isn’t fair,” she said in a deadly voice. “How could you do this to me? I don’t want this! It’s not fair!”
Her mother’s eyes filled with tears. “I know, baby, and I’m so sorry. So sorry…”
“Yeah, well a fat lot of good sorry does me! I’m screwed if I take the blocker and screwed if I don’t. I’m basically screwed here, is what you’re telling me. Right?” The anger built and built inside her until she wanted to scream with the pressure of it. “You and Dad got to have your marriage and your baby, but what do I get, huh? I get stuck with the consequences, is what I get!”
She jumped off the bed and ran to her dresser, opening the top drawer and pulling out her diary. “You know what’s in here?” she demanded, tearing open the tab without unlocking it. “This is full of all my stupid hopes and dreams, and you know what?”
Jasmine rushed into her bathroom. The light was still on from this morning, which would really piss her father off if he knew, but screw him. She stood over the toilet and started tearing pages out of her diary with shaking hands, wadding them up and dropping them into the toilet as the tears streamed down her face.
“These are my hopes and dreams now, Mother,” she choked, slamming her fingers down on the handle and flushing the balls of paper. When the bowl was empty, she closed the lid and sank to her knees, resting her head against the edge. “There they go, right down the toilet. I hope you’re happy.”
Chapter Eight
Monica leaned back in her chair. “Jeez, I’m sorry, Jasmine. That really sucks.”
“I didn’t tell you to get your sympathy.”
She grinned. “Yeah, you did.”
“Okay, maybe I did a little,” Jasmine admitted.
“So you’ve been using the nasal spray all this time?”
“Up until I left home. Once I wasn’t exposed to my father’s residual pheromone stream, I didn’t need it. I only started using it again when I hired on at the compound.”
“So you were at the compound…why, exactly?”
“Because I had this stupid idea I could keep an eye on the Garathani and judge for myself if they were as evil as my father always claimed,” she sighed. “You see how well that turned out.”
“Why did you tell me this now?”
She hugged her knees, and said, “Because I’m scared out of my mind and I don’t know what else to do.”
Monica narrowed her eyes. “You know, Jas, if you’re a spy, you’re pretty damn inept.”
“Great. That makes me feel much better.” Swallowing, she asked, “Does that mean you’ll keep this to yourself?”
“I will, but I really wish you’d tell Kellen. I’d trust him with anything.”
“The commander might not be too bad, but, Monica, how do you think Shauss would react to the news that he traded the minister’s daughter for an inept Narthani spy?”
Monica winced. “Not well. He’s pretty volatile—not to mention proud.”
“He’d kill me—but only after he made me suffer for making him look like a fool. Then he’d go after my father.” Before Monica could speak, Jasmine said, “Don’t deny it. You know it’s true.”
“Any other surprises you want to spring on me?” Monica asked with a long-suffering sigh.
“As a matter of fact…”
“Oh Jesus, now what?”
“Breast implants weren’t the only surgery I had.” When Monica’s brows flew up, Jasmine blushed. “The doctors operated downtown to make me look normal, and it would be nice to know if I’m going to pass inspection or if Tiber’s going to take one look and send me to the brig.”
“What in the hell did they do?”
“They implanted a prosthetic clitoris.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! It doesn’t work, does it?”
> “No, I couldn’t be that lucky. But as far as I know, no guy has ever suspected I was anything but a human woman.”
“So you’ve been with guys? I mean, as beautiful as you are, I doubt you could be a virgin, but you never know.”
“No.” Jasmine sighed. “I mean, yes, I’ve been with guys and no, I’m not a virgin. And thank you, but I don’t feel very beautiful right now.”
Monica rolled her eyes. “Oh please. You’re gorgeous and you know it.”
“It’s an illusion, Monica. I’m not real. Hell, I even have dental implants to replace two teeth that have fallen out in the last few years.”
“Well, you look plenty real to me. And to Shauss, if his claiming you is anything to go by.” Then her eyes widened. “Jesus, you must have been scared shitless when he pulled his interrogation act on you.”
“That’s putting it mildly. I don’t think anything about my appearance would have given me away, but it was always a possibility. I don’t know all that much about Narthanis or Garathanis. For all I knew, he could have smelled the difference in me.”
Monica stood up. “Well I was going to examine you anyway to make sure you can accommodate a Garathani male, so I’ll take a gander and see if anything jumps out at me.”
Jasmine blinked hard to clear the mental image of a toothy alien mouth jumping out from between her legs and biting Monica’s face off. What in the world had made her watch so many sci-fi movies when she was growing up? It only made her that much more fearful.
“Is it possible I won’t be able to?” she asked as Monica moved down the cabinet opening doors.
“Definitely. Tight can be stretched, but shallow’s a problem. If he can’t go deep enough, his spur might not get in on the action.”
Hope blossomed. “Hey, can you just tell them I’m not big enough?”
“I could, but they’d probably want my report verified by one of the Garathani doctors.” When Jasmine sagged, she added, “Besides, wouldn’t you have to go to detention then?”
“No doubt.” Jasmine shuddered. “Thank God I didn’t get awarded to Zannen. He claims to be better endowed than Kellen.”
“I’d like to see that,” Monica snorted. “But you know how guys are. He’s probably just compensating for a Vienna sausage.”
Although she giggled, Jasmine couldn’t help but soften slightly at the idea Zannen’s overbearing attitude might stem from some deep personal insecurity. There was obviously no love lost between him and Shauss.
“Oh Jesus, now I know you’re not a spy—you actually feel sorry for that prick.”
“I do not.” She bit her lip, and then asked, “Did you know he and Shauss are brothers?”
Monica paused in her search of the cabinets and blinked at her. “Excuse me?”
“Zannen called him little brother and Shauss didn’t deny it.” It was still almost impossible to believe. Shauss, with his pleasantly chiseled face, two-toned hair and long sleek muscles, was breathtakingly beautiful. Zannen couldn’t have been less beautiful if he’d tried—his rough-hewn facial features were arranged in a perpetual scowl, and even his bald head seemed to bulge with monstrously overdeveloped muscles. The only things they appeared to have in common were those impenetrable black eyes and the ability to scare the wits out of her.
“No fucking way.” Monica stared at her for a second and then burst out laughing. “God, I’m such a dork—there I got all warm and fuzzy because he told me his last name.” She shook her head. “You guys are perfect for each other—I can’t think of any two people who are better at keeping secrets.”
“Well, now you know all of mine.” Jasmine sighed. “Monica, thank you for trying to help me.”
“Trying? Aha!” She pulled out a hospital gown and tossed it to Jasmine. Turning to face the table, she plunged her hands into the sterilizing block. “Why does it sound like you doubt my chances of success?”
Jasmine quickly changed into the gown. Then she swallowed hard and voiced her greatest fear. “It might be too late already. I might already have been exposed to too much pheromone to ever go home.”
Monica looked over her shoulder. “Would that be the worst thing ever? Call me crazy, but I really think there could be something amazing between you and Shauss. Maybe you should just let it happen. They’d probably think you’re a GaraTer like me.”
“And live a lie for the rest of my life? No thank you.”
“Like you weren’t living a lie on Earth?” She pulled free of the block and gestured toward the exam table.
“I don’t really belong anywhere, but Earth is the closest thing I have to a home.”
“On the other hand, you love Shauss.”
Jasmine tensed as she lay back and Monica helped guide her feet into the stirrups. Her life sucked. “Quit saying that! He’d kill me if he found out what I am.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Monica, even if he didn’t kill me outright, do you really think they’d let me go home if they knew I was a full-blooded Narthani capable of carrying Garathani children?” When Monica didn’t answer, she went on. “No. They’d force me to transition and use me for breeding.”
Monica shook her head but let it go. “Okay, I officially hate you.”
“What? Why?”
“You’re still bare. Sorry if this is TMI, but I could hide a small SUV in my lovely new bush.”
That startled a laugh out of her, and then a sigh. “Something else to look forward to if I transition.”
“Well, for better or worse, you pass muster.” Monica plunged her hands into the block again as Jasmine dressed. “The scarring is minimal and women’s labia are all as unique as the women themselves. I wouldn’t even have noticed if I hadn’t been looking for it and I examine women every day.”
“Could you feel my nook?”
My nook. She tightened her ponytail to cover her cringe of embarrassment. It was the first time she’d ever said those words out loud. In fact, she’d never talked about her body at all before. When she was sixteen, her mother had explained about the nook that tunneled through her pubic bone—and how her clitoris was hidden deep inside. Already resigned to never knowing the joys of motherhood, Jasmine had been deeply dismayed to learn she could never experience sexual pleasure, even by her own hand, without piercing the veil of skin covering her nook and thus revealing herself as an alien.
“Not really,” Monica said. “But then I never noticed mine when I was growing up either, so the hymen must be pretty solid.”
“So how soon can you get my nasal spray replicated?”
“Oh Christ, I don’t know. It’ll be a miracle if I can do it without tipping off one of the doctors—they’re always hanging around the labs, so it might take a day or two.”
“Do you think they’d notice if I stuffed cotton balls up my nose?” Jasmine asked with a sigh.
Monica’s eyes widened. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea. Empran, talk to me about insertable nasal barriers…”
* * * * *
“What in Peserin’s name is taking so long?” Zannen demanded.
He and Hastion had joined them outside the infirmary door less than ten minutes ago and already Shauss wearied of him.
“I would imagine Dr. Teague is trying to reassure her patient,” Tiber replied. “That’s what I would be doing.”
“You’re welcome to return to duty, Zannen,” Shauss added sourly.
“I will, after you claim her. Assuming you do,” he added.
Shauss stared at him. “You must be insane. Why wouldn’t I?”
Zannen just stared back impassively.
“You would be wise to maintain that silence,” Shauss told him. “One word during the claiming and jurana terminates. Understood?”
“Fear not, brother. I have no intention of depriving myself of the pleasure.”
Shauss waited, feeling a twinge of uncertainty. In the space of a single day, his life had changed dramatically. He was now mated to a tiny Terran female who feared him, and
he had to claim her today to keep Zannen from jumping all over her.
The door opened to reveal Monica. “Come on in, Shauss.” Her eyes widened when she noticed the others. “And company.”
He saw Jasmine immediately. Her face turned a deep pink as they all filed in, and she glared at Zannen before turning accusing eyes his way.
“What’s he doing here?” She sounded slightly congested. Had she been weeping?
“I’ll explain in a moment,” he told her. “Monica?”
“I guess congratulations are in order.” She glanced at Jasmine apologetically before telling him, “Jasmine meets the criteria for a copulative candidate, but just barely, so you’ll have to be careful and take your time.”
“Excellent.” Turning to his new mate, he bowed slightly and then held out his hand. “Jasmine.”
She looked at him hesitantly and then lowered her eyes before sliding her slim, cool fingers into his. Possessiveness roared through him even as tension knotted his gut. Peserin, but it would be all too easy to damage her. He’d have to keep himself under tight control, not an easy task in light of how much he wanted her delicately curved body.
“As I suspected,” Monica said, “her pelvic girdle is tiny, so even if she doesn’t return to Earth, reproduction is definitely out.”
“I thought she was barren.”
She gave Jasmine a startled look.
“It’s okay, Monica—I told them I couldn’t have children.” Then Jasmine looked at him. “She was bound by doctor-patient privilege not to tell you about that.”
“No such privilege applies between mates.”
Monica’s eyes narrowed on him and he thought she was going to challenge him. Instead, she said mildly, “You weren’t mates when she told me.”
“We’re mates now, so you will keep me informed of her health status.”
Monica put her fists on her hips. “Shauss, you will remember that you’re not the boss of me and never were. And please keep in mind that this isn’t a permanent mating. Jasmine intends to go home when this is all over.”
While clearly meant to caution him against becoming attached, Monica’s reminder only highlighted why they would never have worked as permanent mates. She was too willful, even if it was for his own good.
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