by Dannika Dark
“Well, your business landed on my doorstep. And as long as you’re under this roof, you’re never off the clock. Your responsibility is the lad, not Raven. I know all about you. You tried kissing my woman and doing it while naked.”
“I can’t help it if I’m naked around her. I’m a Shifter.”
“Keep your lips on Viktor’s arse and away from Raven. I’ll not have you seducing my woman or getting naked in front of her. Raven’s not the girl you once knew, and if you can’t handle it, then off you go. She doesn’t take kindly to hovering, and if you start bringing her trays of food and asking about her feelings, she’s liable to spear you in the gut. Why can’t you be more like Viktor?”
“You mean apathetic?”
“He looks after us, provides for us, and respects our boundaries. That’s the definition of a man in my book. Not a nursemaid.”
When Switch tipped his head down, his long hair fell forward and framed his face. “News flash—I’m not old enough to stop caring. That’s a trait that comes with time and loss.”
“Aye, and you’ll be better for it.”
“Maybe so, old man, but you should ask yourself what Raven really needs. She’s closer to my age than yours, and despite the façade, there’s still a vulnerable woman in there who needs a protector. If she had a tough day at work, cook her dinner instead of boozing her up. I saw the empty bottle by the bed. Do you think that’s helping?”
“After what she’s been through, she deserves a drink.”
Switch shook his head and smiled flatly. “You’re gonna put a rift between her and her old man. Crush is a former alcoholic, remember? Do you really want him to watch Raven become the drunk he used to be? It would kill him.”
“I can’t dictate her life any more than you can, Shifter. I’m sure your heart’s in the right place, but your cock isn’t. It’s looking for a way in. Raven told me about you harping on her for drinking. How did that go for you? We all make mistakes, and we have to make them. It’s essential to become the person you were meant to be. You’ve made your fair share of mistakes, which got you banned from joining a pack, and that’s why you’re here. I’ll not be having this conversation every time we meet. Give her your friendship, but there are things you don’t know about that woman—things you’ll never be privy to.”
“I just don’t wanna see her hurt.”
“Then buy yourself a puppy, because people get hurt. You aren’t welcome in my chamber. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. I’ll tell Raven you were asking about her.”
Christian left Switch in the hall and returned to his chair by the fireside. In any other circumstance, he might like a guy like Switch. But when a man has feelings about a woman beneath the guise of friendship, he would always carry that flame.
Christian could sense when Raven was cold by how many times she would toss and turn. He rarely used the bed unless Raven stayed the night, but he usually had a nice pair of silk sheets on the mattress. What she needed was light and space, so his job was to keep the fire going. If she awoke in the night, he wanted her to feel safe instead of confused in the darkness.
While listening to Switch’s footfalls growing distant, Christian reached inside his shirt pocket and retrieved a strand of hair. When Raven had stripped off her clothes to shower, he’d found it stuck to the blood on her shirt. After wiping it clean and holding it to the light, there was no doubt who it belonged to. While Houdini’s hair was pale, this didn’t belong to her maker.
He stretched his hands apart as the firelight glinted off the blond strand. It was straight, long, delicate, and could only belong to one person: Lenore Parrish. To be certain, Christian had tasted the blood on Raven’s shirt. Some of it was hers, and some of it wasn’t. The ancient flavor teased his tongue with the opulent taste he’d once revered. Lenore had motive, and burying people was definitely her modus operandi. Being privy to their case, she could have known Raven’s whereabouts. Only a Vampire could have scrubbed her memory, and though Christian had promised not to keep secrets from Raven, why not let her assume that Houdini did it? Maybe it would sever that unhealthy relationship once and for all.
If he told Raven the truth, she would go after Lenore. Even if she didn’t succeed, the mere attempt would be an act of treason, punishable by death.
He stroked his beard and murmured, “I’m not cut out for this.”
When it came to Raven, every decision he made was in her best interest. Christian had never been in a serious relationship, and on top of that, he was a Vampire with a murderous past. Did she really expect him to be truthful at all times? Honesty was an arbitrary demand that served no purpose. His heart had sworn allegiance to love and protect Raven, not to see her to ruin.
When Raven stirred in the bed, Christian let go of the hair and blew out a deep breath. The sinewy strand floated toward the hearth and landed just shy of the grate. The end sparked, and the hair curled up before turning to smoke. The foul stench made him get up and cross the room. Christian sat on the edge of the bed, clasped his hands, and made plans.
Chapter 38
“Raven, come and let me have a look at you.” Viktor waved me over to the dining table.
I had slept all day and skipped meals. I thought maybe I could sneak into the kitchen for leftovers and avoid everyone, but it looked like Viktor was having a bite.
He rose from his chair like King Arthur and cupped my face in his hands. “You do not look unwell. It seems that there was much exaggeration at the table this morning.”
Damn. He knows. “Isn’t there always?”
“Who would put you in a coffin?”
“Who wouldn’t?”
He wagged his finger at me. “I can always tell your mood when you answer a question with a question. Sit.” Viktor resumed eating his oatmeal. “Nothing brings comfort like warm oatmeal. You must try.”
“I’ll pass. I just wanted to nibble on fruit or something.”
“Kira is sweeping floors on the east wing, so if you are hungry, you must make your own. She organizes and cleans brilliantly. I sometimes take these things for granted, but I do not know what I would do without her. She lights and replaces the candles twice a day,” he said, gesturing to the candlelit chandelier overhead, “and has begun organizing our storage rooms.” He set down his spoon and then wiped his beard with a cloth napkin. “While I do not need to know everything that happens with my team, if one of you is attacked, it is meaningful.”
“I was going to tell you eventually. I just didn’t want to ruin your celebration.”
After cleaning his bowl, he set the spoon inside and pushed it forward. “If you have new enemies, I must know. This affects everyone. Remember what happened with Niko?”
“Viktor, I don’t know what happened. If I did, I’d tell you. The last thing I remember is leaving the club to come home, but after that, it’s gone. Do you think all that time without oxygen did something to my brain cells?”
He set his napkin on the table. “Perhaps your memory will return.”
“Maybe I’ve told you this before, but I want to tell you again. Thanks for giving me a second chance. That day I met you, I thought you were a prick. No offense, but I didn’t trust anyone. Being with Keystone changed everything. I’m learning to trust people again, and I didn’t think that would ever be possible. It’s nice to know that people are looking out for me. I just want to make sure that I’m pulling my weight around here. That’s all.”
“The Raven I see before me is not the same woman I met that day. You have matured into a capable investigator and skilled fighter. This last case was very important, and you gave me so much more than I was expecting.” Viktor folded his arms on the table and gave me a pensive stare. “You did not deserve what happened last night. You should have been here to celebrate with us, but we assumed that you wanted to be alone. You have always been a loner. The higher authority is not pleased with the upheaval, but many are singing our praises.” He smiled warmly. “My contact has sent our
money this afternoon, and there is a bonus included just for you—much more than your share. It is no longer a secret that Miss Parrish was my contact, and she is very pleased that we have taken down this crime ring. She negotiated the money for you; I did not ask for it.”
While I should have been thrilled to stockpile more money, something about it didn’t feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I also hadn’t felt like myself. Not just because of the burial, but these past few weeks had taken a toll on me.
“Can I send it back?”
“Nyet. That would be an insult.”
“Then send the extra amount to HALO. You don’t have to tell Lenore what we did with it. Maybe it won’t be enough to split between them, but it seems like they should get something for helping us out.”
He reached over and patted my hand. “What a fine gesture. This team is how I imagined it to be. You complete us. Now Wyatt can do his job and Gem hers. Everyone has a place, like puzzle pieces. I sometimes want to do more, because that is the life I once knew, but my first responsibility is to keep myself alive. And my second responsibility is to keep each of you alive. There can be no compromise.”
I gave him a crooked smile, thinking about how many Alka-Seltzers he probably drank a night. “I’ll try to stay alive, but I’ve made a lot of enemies.”
“Raven, your personal life is complicated, and I cannot fix those problems.”
“If I still lived on the streets, no one would care if I disappeared. I know you’re not my family, but it feels like it sometimes.”
“I understand what you mean. In some ways, this feels like a pack. I cannot help but run the house like I would as a Packmaster, but I have to remind myself that it is possible I will lose some of you. That is why your relationship with Christian concerns me. It is difficult to truly love someone that you might lose. I have lost hundreds of family members—my brothers, their children, and tragedy has befallen everyone I’ve cared for.”
“How did it happen?”
Viktor pinched the bridge of his nose as if holding back tears. “I do not wish to live in the pain of my past. Find those happy moments and hold them in your heart. Like here, with Keystone. Everyone in this house has endured suffering while under my watch. Niko almost died, Gem lost a man she cared for, Blue is scarred beyond comprehension, and you have also suffered tragedy at the hands of your Creator. I did not know if this organization would last with so many different backgrounds and Breeds, but despite the bickering, you take care of each other. This pleases me.” Viktor trailed off in Russian before stopping himself. “We do not know our destiny, so we must make a difference today. No matter what happens, it is better to know that we made sacrifices to give others a better life. Keystone will bring you riches and build your reputation, but when you die, you cannot take those things with you.”
I stood and pushed in my chair. “Thanks for trusting me with this job. I just hope it’s the last assignment we ever have in a sex club.”
Viktor rocked with laughter as he rose from his chair and reached for something on the table behind him. “I almost forgot. This came for you today.” He handed me a small brown box with twine wrapped around it. “The delivery boy did not say who it was from, but do not be surprised to receive more gifts in the coming days from those who wish to show their appreciation.”
Holding the box in one hand, I strode down the dark hallway toward the staircase and jogged up to the second floor. The hours I’d spent in that coffin were probably the most terrified I’d ever felt, even with Fletcher. I’d channeled some of my energy to produce a little light, but somehow that made it worse. After attempting to punch my way out, I’d calmed myself to reserve oxygen and sporadically flared in hopes that a Mage might be nearby. Christian had sat with me all night and most of the day. He brought my usual cup of hot coffee early this morning, and even though I didn’t drink it, the fragrant aroma comforted me. I needed space, and he gave it to me. The last thing I wanted was someone giving me a lecture about what I needed to do or eat or drink. I needed to be a mess for a little while before I cleaned myself up.
As I reached a dark window in the hallways overlooking the courtyard pool, I stood there and watched Niko and Gem talking. She had on a short blue nightgown and kimono untied at the waist. The only light came from the pool.
My thoughts drifted back to the coffin. It was hard to get it out of my head. The panic, the rage, the regret—being stuck in there with nothing but my thoughts. When the oxygen had run out, it didn’t happen all at once. The air had grown stale, and I was breathing more rapidly as it seemed impossible to catch my breath. Dizzy and feeling as if my heart might explode, I realized it was impossible to tell my body it wasn’t dying. I had passed out a number of times before I stopped resisting. Once I accepted my condition, my heart finally slowed down. Without oxygen, it was pointless to breathe, but that pain and urge never went away. All I could do was just lie there, because if I started to think about breathing, I’d panic all over again.
Most of all, it grieved me that my father would have spent the rest of his life searching for me, and each time he visited my mother’s grave, he wouldn’t have had any idea that I was down there. After my coffee this morning, I’d borrowed Christian’s phone to call Crush. I was surprised to learn that he had gone searching for me last night, so I let him know that there was nothing to worry about and I was out celebrating. Telling him a lie was far easier than causing him unnecessary pain with the truth. I told him I loved him and decided never to leave our last conversation on an argument. Someday it would be the last, and what would be the last thing I’d want him to remember me saying to him?
“What are they doing down there?” Switch asked.
I gasped and shoved him back.
He held up his hands. “Whoa, it’s just me.”
I exhaled and shook my head. “Sorry. Reflexes.”
He stepped closer. “I haven’t seen you all day. You okay?”
“I had a lot of sleep to catch up on,” I said, turning on my heel to face the window again.
Gem let her kimono drop to the ground and looked at the pool apprehensively. When she stepped into the water, she froze as if she might leap out. Niko extended his arm, and she gripped his hand. I realized he was going to walk in with her, so it was a good thing he wasn’t wearing shoes. Just his usual late-night attire of baggy pants.
“I haven’t seen her swim in eons,” I remarked. “Someone drowned her in there, you know.”
“I remember. Sometimes you just gotta get back on the horse.” Switch joined my side and put his hands in his pockets.
His comment was meant for me. Even though he didn’t know the details of my job or what I’d gone through these past weeks, he must have sensed it the way Shifters often did. Maybe that intuition was why he was so good with kids.
He nudged me with his elbow. “Feel like playing a game of darts?”
“Not tonight. Maybe you should go out with your friends more often.”
He stepped up to the edge of the window. “I’m not looking for entertainment. I was just trying to make you feel better. You can’t talk about your job, but maybe I can help you forget it.”
I wanted to say thanks, but I had a feeling he already knew I appreciated his thoughtfulness. Switch wanted to look out for me, and I suppose that loyalty went back to my father and how the two of us grew up in the same cluster. Having him around really helped me forget. Switch loved telling stories and making me laugh, but this was something that a game of darts wasn’t going to rectify. I didn’t want to forget. I needed to remember.
There were so many people who could have buried me, but Houdini was my primary suspect. I’d staked a lot of Vampires in the past whom I presumed dead, and I’d made a lot of enemies since, but maybe Houdini had done it to protect his secrets. He liked fucking with people’s minds, and he was the last person I remembered seeing. What if Fletcher had done it? It was possible that I’d forgotten from the lack of oxygen and trauma.
In the darkest moment, when the silence in the coffin had been more than I could bear, I’d actually wondered if Christian had done it.
Gem waded deeper into the water with Niko beside her. They were waist deep, the blue-green lights illuminating Gem’s frightened expression as she turned around. An owl hooted outside as if he had something to say about it.
“I’ve got some good news,” Switch said, his voice merrier. “The trial period is over. Viktor made me an official offer to work for him. He said I’ve proven myself more than once, and Hunter is responding well to his education.”
“That sounds like Viktor. Congratulations.”
“I’ve never worked with just one child, but Hunter has a lot of issues. I had to consult a specialist to be sure I wasn’t fucking him up even more with a rigid schedule, but it’s what he needs. I think once he learns how to write properly, we can figure out if he wants to do sign language or learn how to talk. It might be too late for verbal communication. He’s got a lot of trauma, and I think he was punished for making noise. That’s not something you can easily undo.”
“It sounds like he’s got a good teacher. I don’t think Shepherd could have done it alone.”
“Yeah, sometimes love isn’t enough to fix what’s broken.” Switch leaned his shoulder against the wall by the window and gave me a look I couldn’t discern with those wolfish brown eyes. “I know Hunter’s my job, but you’re my friend. It’s not easy sitting at home, wondering if you’re hurt. Seeing the others go looking for you and not being able to help.”
“Your job isn’t to look after me, Switch.”
“It sure as hell is.” He folded his arms, his dark eyebrows slanting down. “It’s my job as your friend. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
“Just don’t go relaying stuff to my father. I tell him what he needs to know, but that’s it. He’s human, Switch. Don’t forget that. You might feel loyalty to him because your father is friends with him, but look how much he’s aged because of stress and worry. I contributed to some of that. He already knows my job is dangerous, but I don’t want him involved. I just want to give him everything he needs to be happy.”