‘I can always come back, you know that, right? If you need me, I’ll be here. It’s not a quick flight, but I can do it.’
Maria’s eyes went bright and she looked out to the river where several people were larking about, shrieking as they splashed water at each other. Bells from bicycles trilled. A couple of small dogs snarled and snapped at each other in passing on the footpath.
‘I don’t want to go to jail,’ Maria said. She faced Tansy once more. ‘I like it out here in the world and I’m just beginning to feel that it might be okay for me to enjoy life, finally. And this,’ she nodded again to their family, ‘this is such a precious gift at my age. You’re a true friend. Thank you.’
Tansy enfolded her in her arms and squeezed her tightly. ‘You’re welcome.’
Brisbane domestic airport was small by world standards, but bustled with all the usual culprits: zooming taxis; confusing parking and drop-off zones; teary people hugging goodbye; men in suits pulling small cabin luggage; pilots in navy-blue coats and caps; flight attendants also pulling cabin luggage, with flawless makeup and tightly secured hair; confused and lost people; and security guards.
Leo pulled up in the drop-off zone, where he got out and hugged Tansy goodbye.
‘Take care of my car,’ she said into his shoulder. She could feel him grin against her hair.
‘I’ll send you photo updates on how she’s doing,’ he said, then stepped back into the driver’s seat and tooted, waving out the window as he drove away.
Dougal sent a perfectly timed message. I can’t wait until you arrive. I need my best friend, lover and wife with me. Thank you for coming. I love you so much.
Inside, she found Belle, with Hamish strapped into his pram and chewing on a plastic ring. Belle threw her arms around her and they swayed excitedly together, and then fawned over Hamish, before moving into line to check in Tansy’s luggage.
At security, Belle was next to Tansy, chatting away as though they’d only seen each other last week, not three months ago. She held baby Hamish in her arms as the pram went through the x-ray machine and they stepped through the metal detectors. Hamish’s huge eyes watched the lights flash overhead.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ Tansy said, collecting her hand luggage from the x-ray machine and helping Belle get hers. ‘You look great, by the way. You should by rights be a ragged, greasy-haired mess.’ Belle’s skin was clear, her long brown hair was thick and shiny, and she seemed the happiest she’d been since Hamish was born.
‘It’s amazing what sleep will do.’ She laughed. ‘Now that he’s eating better, he’ll sleep for four or five hours. Feels like heaven.’
They made their way up the escalators and found a quiet-ish corner to have coffee and sticky buns. Belle wanted to stay with Tansy right up till the moment she went to the gate.
‘Here, before I forget, I made you a care package,’ Tansy said, pulling a box wrapped in pink paper out of a shopping bag at her side. ‘I’m sorry it’s so late. I’m a truly crap friend. Forgive me?’ She passed it across the table.
‘You are so not a crap friend,’ Belle said. ‘Thank you.’ She started to sniffle and Tansy had to take a quick breath in to stop herself following suit.
‘I should have sent it months ago. I hope it’s still useful.’
‘Doesn’t matter if it’s not useful,’ Belle said, peeking inside the box and smiling. ‘It’s from you and it’s beautiful.’ She took out some aromatherapy pulse point perfume and sniffed it, then rubbed it on her wrists. Tansy could smell the rose scent from where she sat.
‘I’d say that I’ll send you something from Canada, but at the rate I deliver gifts I’ll be home before it arrives.’
She squeezed Hamish’s fat foot. He was in navy pants and a red and white striped jumper, and kept glancing at Tansy and grinning at her with the sharp edges of soon-to-emerge bottom teeth, drooling. She reached her hands over for him and he came to her happily, smiling as she bounced him and cooed at him and told him he was ridiculously beautiful.
‘Look, he knows what I’m saying,’ she said, pleased. ‘Every time I tell him how handsome he is he gives a big grin.’
Belle watched on, sipping her coffee and smiling, besotted and proud. ‘So, have you made a decision about babies? Are you going over there to make a little person? Even if Dougal isn’t totally on board? Will you take him up on his offer?’
Tansy kissed Hamish’s forehead. He was so warm and so soft. He wobbled around on her lap, bumping his head into her chest, eager hands reaching for her necklace and her hair. ‘Honestly, I’m not sure. What do you think I should do?’ She played peek-a-boo with Hamish. ‘Ah boo, ah boo, aren’t you cute, aren’t you cute, yes you are, yes you are.’
Belle thought for a while. ‘I don’t think anyone’s ever ready for a baby, you know? Even if you think you’re ready, you’re not. So, honestly, if the offer’s on the table, and when you get there you feel it, and he feels it, and it’s all good, then I think you should go for it. I’m not saying rush into it; but make the decision and let it settle. Dream, plan, talk about it. Buy teddy bears. Give him time to truly own the idea in his heart as much as you have.’
Tansy’s chest swelled with the idea, and the rabble of butterflies in her belly signalled her excitement. ‘You might be right.’
‘Trust me, I’m right. You’ll never be ready. Dougal will never be ready. But you’ll do it. You’ll do it anyway and you’ll cope. Better than that, you’ll thrive. Do you know why?’ Belle reached over and took her hand.
Tansy shook her head and leaned to the side as the person next to her got up to the sound of a boarding call and swung his bag into her shoulder.
‘Because, my dear friend, you are a creator. You are the type of person who wants to leave the world a better place than you found it. And you will. You and your husband will have a beautiful little baby that will make the world a better place just by being here. And then you will continue to make the world a better place, day after day, taking one challenge at a time and turning it on its head. That’s what you do. That’s who you are. It’s who you’ve always been.’
Tansy let Belle’s words sink in and found they felt right, deep inside her bones. This was what she and Dougal were meant to do. ‘What am I going to do without you, Belle?’
‘Gosh, what am I going to do without you?’ Belle shook her head. ‘I can’t even imagine.’
‘We’ll both survive, I suppose,’ Tansy said.
‘I guess we will,’ Belle agreed.
Then, far too soon, Tansy heard her boarding call. ‘It’s time.’
Belle reached for Hamish. Tansy stood shakily, checking and double-checking that she had everything with her, tucking her boarding slip into her pocket, and straightening.
‘Come on,’ Belle said. ‘Off you go. Your future is waiting.’
So Tansy walked out of the cafe and joined the throng of people heading to boarding gates, just like her, on their way to new adventures and new horizons, flying into the unknown, but trusting they’d land safely on the other side.
Six months later
Maria knelt in front of her hives. It was a beautiful summer’s morning. Blue skies. Bright sun. An abundance of natural beauty all around. The grass was springy beneath her knees. The wide brim of her canary-yellow straw hat cast welcome shade across her shoulders. The hat was a new addition to her wardrobe, picked up at the op shop last week after Sarah’s suggestion that she would need a hat every day out in sunstruck Roma. Maria loved the artificial sprig of lavender tucked into its blue ribbon.
She straightened her cotton blouse, suddenly nervous, and knocked on the lid of the hive. Guard bees arrived. A few worker bees sat and took a rest for a moment, waiting for her to speak.
‘Hello, my beautiful bees,’ she began, emotion thick in her throat. ‘I should have told you this news sooner, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. You’ve been my salvation, for many years. I don’t know how I would have made it without you.’ A
curious bee, its baskets laden with orange pollen, flew to her and landed on her cotton trousers. She watched it for a moment and her heartache eased.
‘I’m leaving you,’ she said quietly, and the bees’ buzzing lowered in volume as more and more of them settled on the lid of the hive, as if mesmerised by her words. ‘I never thought I would leave here, but even at this late stage of my life, God’s plan has called me elsewhere.’ More bees settled around her, on tree branches, on blades of grass, nestled in flower heads. ‘It’s still shocking to me that I’m here at all and able to make this choice of my own free will.’
It seemed like a lifetime ago, but in reality it was all still very recent. George Harvey and Blaine Campbell had been good to her. She’d been charged with assault for the deliberate infliction of a sting on Cunningham and sentenced to a hundred hours of community service, which had been waived in view of the service she already gave and under a tsunami of testimonials from sisters, former students and other members of the faithful she hadn’t seen in decades, as well as from people she’d met more recently, such as Petrice, Trav and Michaela. There was no historical or medical evidence, as George had explained to her, that Peter Cunningham had been allergic to bees. The only ‘proof’ was Maria’s own memory of him claiming to be allergic, and he might not have been telling the truth. As for her confession, it wasn’t enough in its own right to hold up a prosecution for attempted murder.
Poor Celine, on the other hand, was in more trouble. There was enough evidence against her to pull together a case, and when she’d been confronted with it, she’d confessed immediately. She was currently in an institution and her case was being handled through the mental health court. Maria had been to visit her. She’d taken her a pineapple as a gift. ‘You remembered,’ Celine had said, beaming, and hugged the pineapple to her chest.
Ian Tully had been charged with obstruction of justice. His case had only gone through the preliminary proceedings, but he’d been released on bail and was still serving as the archbishop, although there was growing anger about this from both Catholic and non-Catholic constituents, and an angry media campaign against him. On George’s recommendation, Maria had applied for an apprehended violence order against him and been successful. To her great relief, she’d not seen or heard from him since the day she and Tansy had discovered him in her home, and she hoped it stayed that way.
‘I’m not leaving you alone,’ Maria continued, making eye contact with as many of the magnificent all-seeing eyes of the bees as she could. ‘You remember Leo? He’s been here with me many times over the past few months, looking after you, looking after your hives. He’s quite a competent beekeeper now,’ she said proudly. ‘And we all know that the world needs more beekeepers.’ If the bees were to survive, it was critical that the old hands educated the new ones. With Leo’s encouragement, she’d finally felt confident to put herself out there in the world and share as much of her knowledge as she could before her time was up. Leo had helped her to set up a Facebook page and website on beekeeping and to promote beekeeping courses, which she ran here at the Haven. To her delight, her decades of teaching experience served her well and she’d slipped easily and gladly back into the role. It made her feel alive again in a way she hadn’t even realised she’d been missing. Together, she and Leo had educated dozens of new bee enthusiasts in the past few months. His flair for writing was a boon for the Haven. He’d created new marketing campaigns for the orphanage and for the cabin accommodation, and Honeybee Haven was now turning enough profit to build a nest egg for the charity, rather than merely covering costs from week to week.
During this time, it had become clear to Maria that the new leader to take Honeybee Haven to the next level had arrived. Leo had accepted the offer of the role of manager and was officially moving in tomorrow. He thought she’d still be here, but she wanted to slip away quietly, without any fuss. He would be fine without her. Petrice would be here to help him in whatever way she could. Perhaps the change would be good for her too, having someone her own age around to talk to.
But as for Maria, she was leaving her hive.
Good beehives were strong and prolific and multiplied, spreading further and further out across the world, just like education, just like light, and just like faith. A single beehive—maybe even one of her beehives—could quite literally, if it came to it, save the whole world’s bee population from extinction. She, too, was leaving to begin a new hive in a town that needed her.
Just as the bush sprouted back with strong new growth after a bushfire, so had her life. Out of all that had happened this year, many blessings had followed, not least of which was her rekindled relationship with her two sisters, who came to visit her often. Enid had even stayed overnight a few times; she’d helped Maria in the garden and baked dozens of honey cakes to freeze for when guests arrived. And once, she’d brought Rose and her four children for the weekend. Having come to terms with Rose’s divorce, Enid had thrown herself into the role of supportive grandmother, attempting to fill the spaces the divorce had created, relishing being needed.
Florrie and Alastair were looking at running combined yoga and qi gong retreats up here too. They’d wait another few months, though, right now too busy doting on their newest grandchild, Alice, who had come into the world with no sign of Down syndrome. Jordan and Katarina were deliriously happy, of course. And sweet little Toby was very protective, Florrie said, not wanting to leave her for a moment. It was a true miracle.
Tansy had phoned last week with news of her own.
‘Dougal and I will be coming home in a few months’ time. The opportunity came up with his company to relocate back to Australia, so we’re taking it.’
‘That’s great news,’ Maria said.
‘But after we leave here, first we’d like to take a month’s holiday, and, if you and Michaela agree, we’d like to go to your orphanage in Cambodia and help out. I read in the newsletter that Michaela’s building a new dormitory and I’d like to go and help decorate it. Do you think that would be okay?’
Maria’s heart had swelled. ‘I’m sure that would be more than okay.’
‘Dougal’s got some of his workmates on board too and they’re offering to help with engineering or design issues, if they’re needed. You’d have to talk to him about that, I don’t get all that technical language, but the offer’s there.’
‘Michaela will be thrilled. I’ll run it all past her and we’ll get a plan in place for when you’re due to arrive. What a generous gift to donate your holiday to helping them.’
‘Well, we think we’ll get a lot out of it too. And we want to do it now, while we still can, because after we come back to Australia we’ll be jumping right into making a baby.’
And then there was Sarah, who had contacted Maria after George had encouraged her, her voice coming down the line from outback Queensland sounding deeper and scratchier with age but still so undeniably Sarah, Maria’s long-lost friend. Since then they’d been emailing regularly and speaking on the phone, so much to catch up on, so much to heal, so much to celebrate. Sarah had invited Maria to spend Christmas with her on the cattle station, and Maria had crafted dozens of soaps, lotions, oils and candles to take as gifts, and made a special batch of mead. Today she was going to catch the train out to Roma for another new adventure.
And after that? She didn’t know yet where she would land. But she had utter faith that it would be clearly shown to her. In her bones she felt that she and Sarah had unfinished business. There was a project out there waiting for them both. Perhaps something to do with helping the victims of the church to make new lives for themselves.
Bees would be there too. Everywhere and anywhere she went, she would be building strong hives and teaching others to do the same, showing them how to care for the bees and how to create food security.
She stood up from the grass and heard something she’d never heard before while working with her bees.
Silence.
Every one of her beloved bees
was sitting in silence. Praying for her, she let herself believe. Watching over her. Honouring her.
She bowed her head to them. ‘Thank you.’
She walked back down the grassy path, picked up her duffel bag, took one more look around at the coloured Tara cabins, the huts, the grassed area, the dining hall, the trees and the mountains. ‘Goodbye,’ she whispered. ‘God bless.’
She began the descent down the many stairs to the parking lot below where the taxi was coming to meet her and take her to the train. She noted each tread, thanking each step as every footfall landed safely in its embrace. At the midway point she patted the statue of Saint Ambrose, the tears falling down her cheeks and the breeze lifting them up and spiriting them away.
But then, when she was almost down, a small swarm of her bees arrived and surrounded her, the sunlight sparkling off their translucent wings, small rainbows shooting into the air as they moved, embracing her, staying with her as every step took her closer to the bottom of the hill and closer to her new life. Buzzing gently, they swayed and danced, elevating her until she thought she might burst with love.
At the bottom, all one hundred and twenty-four steps done, she paused, smiling at the bees hovering around her. ‘We made it. Thank you.’
She lifted her hand and a perfect bee rested on her palm. ‘Go on now,’ she whispered to her. ‘Let’s be strong. You have work to do, and so do I. Goodbye, my friend.’
The bee cleaned her wings, washed her face, vibrated, and alighted to the sky, leaving Maria alone again, but filled with wonder.
Author’s note
I didn’t set out to write this book. I wanted to write about honeybees; that’s where it started. (Actually, I wanted to write a family saga set on a coffee farm, but that’s another story.) But for some reason, while I was writing scenes and trying to find my story, there were nuns in the background who wouldn’t go away, even though they had no place in the plot. Eventually I had to let Maria lead the story and this is where it went.
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