by Lucie Ulrich
****
Sarah boxed up the remainder of the coffee cake and set it on the counter. She walked Robert and Abigail to her door and opened it for them. “Thank you both for bringing Logan over. I’ll have him back home tomorrow evening.”
“That won’t be necessary,“ Abigail said. “We’ve booked a suite of rooms on the other end of town. We’ll expect you both for dinner at seven. I don’t remember the name of the restaurant, but Robert can text it to Logan later on.”
“Oh.” Sarah slipped her arm around Logan’s waist. “I sort of thought…”
“Sarah is right.” Robert took his wife’s arm. “These two have a very limited amount of time as it is. Why don’t we give them the rest of today, and plan to meet for lunch tomorrow instead?”
And yet one more reason to love Robert Montgomery. Sarah pulled Logan closer to her. “That sounds perfect. Doesn’t it, Logan?”
“Whatever you say, babe.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
“Tomorrow it is then.” Robert tugged his wife onto the landing and shut the door behind them.”
With Logan’s parents gone, Sarah suddenly felt vulnerable. She was about to disclose some potentially scream-worthy news and had no one to back her up.
Leaning against Logan’s chest, she took note of his strong, steady heartbeat. That was Logan, strong and steady—everything she’d ever wanted. “Why don’t we go sit on the couch?”
“Sure.”
“Want me to bring you another cup of coffee?”
“Might not be a bad idea. I’ve been up for twenty-four hours and barely slept on the flight over.”
She ran a hand over the stubble on his cheek. “Would you like to take a nap?”
“Not a chance.” He took hold of her hand and kissed her palm. “I’ll play catch up tonight.”
Her heart clenched. He was such a great guy, and she was about to deliver a punch to his gut. “I’ll be right back.”
Setting a coffee pod in her coffee maker, Sarah closed her eyes. Dear God please help me to be honest, and help Logan to hear me without judgment. Help us get through this in a calm and rational manner, and in a way that’s best for all concerned.
She reached for a clean mug and set it under the drip spout, then pushed the button. Talk about being selfish. She wanted Logan to understand something she didn’t understand herself, and she was asking God to make it all okay without there being any repercussions or bad feelings. You’re living in a dream world, girl.
Sarah carried the coffee back into the living room, only to find Logan sprawled on the couch, sound asleep. Her heart sank. There was no telling how long he’d sleep or when he’d be alert enough to hear her out. Placing the mug down on an end table, she pulled a lightweight blanket from her storage coffee table and covered him. She took the coffee to one of the chairs under the window and curled up with a new mystery she’d recently picked up at the library.
Three hours and half a novel later, Sarah stood and stretched. She made a mild attempt to rouse Logan, only to be rewarded with some loud snoring. “So you snore, do you? Good to know.”
Restless, she jotted a note and left it on the coffee table along with an extra set of keys. A walk in the park would do her good, and hopefully Logan would be up and waiting for her when she returned.
I have another request, Lord. Please don’t let me run into Kevin.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Kevin sat on a park bench, watching a group of teenagers play a game of four-on-four soccer. Their cheers and laughter made him think of his sister’s boys. He’d made some early inquiries into Tony’s family, but had slacked off after the accident. He vowed to get back to it once he got home. With a desk job waiting for him and Sarah practically ignoring him, what else did he have to look forward to?
“Look out, lady,” one of the kids yelled.
With quick reflexes, Sarah blocked the ball with her forearm. She waved to the group. “Thanks for the warning.” When she turned Kevin’s way, her smile disappeared, and she looked heavenward and muttered something he couldn’t make out.
Kevin scooted over, making room for her on the bench. “What are you doing here? I figured you’d be spending every moment you could with Logan.”
“Logan is sleeping, so I came out for a walk.”
It was hard to keep the grin from his face, but he gave it his best shot. “The guy hasn’t seen you in over three months, and all he can think of is sleep?”
She propped her fists on her hips. “He hasn’t slept in twenty-four hours, so cut him some slack.”
“Who are you so angry with, Sarah, Logan or me?”
Her fists unclenched and she fell onto the bench next to him. “Neither of you. I was actually mad at God a few minutes ago, but he’s no guiltier than you or Logan.” She slouched and leaned her head against the back of the bench. “Guess I’m mad at the situation.”
“Why?”
“Because somebody is going to get hurt.” She tilted her head to look at him. “And even though it’ll be hard on me to lose one of you, I still come out a winner, and that feels wrong.”
Kevin wiped a tear that slipped down her cheek. “You’re just about the sweetest, most caring person I’ve ever met.”
She turned her head. “Please don’t say anything nice to me right now. It’ll only make me feel worse.”
He stroked her hair. “Have the two of you had any time to talk—really talk?”
“No, and I should probably go back.” She stood and looked down at him. “I was really happy to see Logan this morning. It was like we’d never been apart.”
An unseen force constricted his chest. “What are you saying?”
Fresh tears fell. “I’m still in love with him. I’m very fond of you, maybe even a little in love with you, but I never should have let things get beyond friendship. I gave you false hope and feel like I cheated on both of you.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I have to go.” She turned her back on him and started walking.
“None of that changes the fact I’m still in love with you.”
Her pace increased to a run, and before Kevin knew it, she was gone. Out of sight, but not out of mind or heart. What would he do without her?
Checking the time on his phone, Kevin dialed Pippa’s international number. “When are you coming home?” he asked when she picked up. “I really need a friend right now.”
“What’s going on, Kev?”
Kevin caught sight of Sarah’s red hair on the far side of the park. “I think Sarah just broke up with me.”
“Wait? What? How can she break up with you when the two of you were never a couple?”
“Logan’s in town.”
“And things keep getting more interesting. Okay buddy, start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”
****
Logan stood outside the street door when Sarah rounded the corner. Her heart hitched at the sight of him. She hurried over. “You’re up.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I passed out on you like that. I simply shut my eyes for a second, and the next thing I knew it was after noon. I got your note and was about to see if I could find you and check out your park.”
She ran a hand through her hair and smiled. There was no way she was going back and possibly running into Kevin again. “It’s just a park. You’ve seen one. You’ve seen them all.”
“You want to go back upstairs, then? We could get some lunch first, if you’re hungry.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Neither am I.” They sounded like they were on a first date. Sarah needed to do something to bring back the comfort level they’d shared before he left for Egypt. There was only one place she could think that soothed her spirit and brought her peace. “What would you say to a walk on the beach? The beach where Pippa lives is private, so it’s usually quiet.”
Logan shrugged. “Anywhere you say is fine with me.”
“My car is around the corner.”
> When they were buckled in, Sarah drove past her new school as well as the church she now attended. “Too bad you won’t be here Sunday. I think you’d really enjoy the pastor.”
“Next time.”
“Definitely.” She kept the conversation light, playing tour guide, not that there was much else to point out between here and there.
Logan let out a loud whistle when Sarah pulled onto the Bradshaws’ property. “Pippa lives here?”
“Technically, her parents do. Pippa lives in the apartment over the garage. It’s a fabulous place, but second to mine, despite the view she wakes up to every morning.”
They exited the car and Sarah took hold of Logan’s hand. “The boardwalk is this way.”
A steady breeze kept the sun from feeling warmer than it actually was. Sarah had forgotten her sunscreen, but seeing as she had already worked up a good tan, and Logan was three shades darker than her, she wasn’t too worried.
Seagulls swooped overhead, while sandpipers ran in and out of the water, much like children trying to keep the waves from splashing them. Never releasing his hand, Sarah led him away from the homes, toward a more secluded area where they sat next to a large dune.
“I can see why you like it here so much.” Logan stared out at the water. “I spend my time surrounded by sand, but there isn’t much in the way of water.”
Sarah nodded. Her stomach churned as she sought out the right words.
Without looking at her, Logan drew with his fingers in the sand. “Why am I here, Sarah?”
“Would you rather go someplace else?”
“That’s not what I mean.” He swiveled to face her. “Why was I suddenly sent home for a few days of R&R I never requested?”
Now was her moment, yet she couldn’t get the words out that needed to be said. “Aren’t you glad to be here?”
“Of course I am, but I’m still confused.” He touched her cheek. “Do you know what you said when you first saw me?”
She shook her head, knowing she’d cry if she attempted to speak.
“‘You made it.’ Not ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ or, ‘what are you doing here?’ It’s like you were expecting me to show up.” He gazed into her eyes. “Were you?”
Nodding and fighting tears, Sarah twisted a lock of hair around her finger. “I asked your father to pull some strings so I could talk to you. He couldn’t guarantee anything, but said he’d do his best.”
“Why? What was so important that you couldn’t tell me over the telephone?”
Unwanted tears fell. She hoped Logan would wipe them away the way Kevin had, but he kept his hands to himself. It took several shaky breaths before Sarah was able to articulate her thoughts. “I had to know if there was a strong enough bond to sustain us through the duration of your absence.”
A frown creased Logan’s brow. “Did you expect there not to be?”
“Not on your end.”
“Meaning?”
She pushed the tears aside. “I met someone.” And there was that gut punch.
Logan rose quickly and walked toward the water, leaving Sarah alone. She wanted to hurry after him, but knew his logical mind needed time to absorb her words and work through a response.
When a good five minutes passed, and he hadn’t returned, Sarah went to him. She reached out a hand to stroke his back, but was rebuffed when he stepped aside.
“Don’t.”
Though she expected him to be upset, it didn’t lessen the pain of his rejection. “Honestly, Logan, it’s not as bad as it sounds, and if you’ll let me explain, I think you’ll see that.”
Logan barked out a short laugh. “You tell me there’s someone else, and I’m not supposed to think that’s serious?”
“He’s a friend of Pippa’s, who soon became a friend of mine.”
“Are you in love with him?”
Though she had strong feelings, Sarah wasn’t prepared to call it love. “I’m very fond of him.”
“Evasive answers won’t cut it, Sarah. Are you in love with him?”
The look of anger on his face was diminished by the hurt in his eyes. “I’m not going to lie to you, which is why I needed to see you so badly. I think I could be, if you weren’t in the picture.”
He turned his back on her, taking long strides in the direction they’d come from.
Sarah hurried to catch up. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. “Did you hear the last part of what I said? Logan, when I saw you in the stairwell, every feeling I ever had for you came rushing back. All the loneliness was gone, and the fear that maybe we weren’t supposed to be together.”
“I can’t talk about this right now.” He shrugged off her hand.
The second rebuff sparked a bit of anger of her own. “If not now, when? You’re only here until tomorrow afternoon.” She took a calming breath. “I’ve been sick about this for weeks. I’ve talked to every person I love, including your father. I haven’t held back from them, and I have no plans of holding back from you, but only if you’ll listen with an open mind and an open heart.”
Logan crossed his arms over his chest. “Does he love you?”
She didn’t flinch. “Yes.”
Logan shook his head and looked to the sky. “And exactly what have you done to encourage said love?”
So much for an open heart, not that she could blame him. “I’ve been his friend, and nothing more.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Yes, because it’s the truth. We shared one dance at Pippa’s mother’s birthday, which totals the amount of times I’ve been in his arms. We talk and share things with one another, and that’s it. We’ve never even kissed.”
She dared attempt to take his hand in hers. When he allowed it, she continued. “He filled the void of companionship you left me with. It was never my intention for things to go beyond the bounds of friendship.” She squeezed his hand harder. “He knows I still love you, and is prepared to back off the moment I give the word.”
Logan pulled his hand free. “So, why haven’t you?”
“Because our time apart has been rocky to say the least. We’ve argued and had serious misunderstandings. You called your mother more often than you called me, and seemed to think nothing of it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I was still important to you, or that after this illustrious dig with one of your idols, you’d still want to marry a measly school teacher.” She stopped for a breath and to calm herself. “I know what you do is important, Logan, but there are times I feel so disconnected from your world that it frightens me.”
“This is too much for me to take in when I’m so jet-lagged. If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate a ride to the hotel. After a good night’s rest, I’ll be able to focus more clearly and we can finish our discussion.”
Any fight left in Sarah dissipated. The analytical Logan had taken over. He might not appear to be as angry, but it was difficult to tell where his head was at the moment. There was no point attempting to engage him any further. His thought process had shut down.
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
They walked back in silence. Once in the car, Logan texted his father for information on the hotel, and Sarah punched the address into her GPS.
In fifteen minutes, she pulled in front of the swanky, columned building. “Would you like to come over for breakfast in the morning? Or I could pick you up and we could go to a restaurant if you prefer.”
“I’ll call you in the morning and let you know.” He unfastened his seatbelt and opened the car door. “I’m not sure what you were expecting, Sarah, and I’m sorry if you feel my reaction isn’t satisfactory. I promise we’ll meet again tomorrow.” He leaned over and pecked her cheek before exiting the car and shutting the door. Sarah couldn’t tell if he’d shut his heart as well.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Kevin’s ribs hurt. He hadn’t stopped walking since Sarah left him in the park. He appreciated Pippa hearing him out, but she didn’t
have any answers for him—other than to let Sarah have her time with Logan, which was a given.
He knew it would come to this. Sarah had told him more than once, someone would get hurt. From what she’d told him in the park, that someone would likely be him. By the time he decided to turn around, his ribs hurt so badly he wasn’t sure he’d make it. He sat on a trolley stop bench and pulled out his phone to dial Mike’s number, when he spotted Sarah’s car at the traffic light in front of him.
She spotted him too. Though she didn’t smile or wave, her eyes were fixed on him.
A horn sounded and Sarah jumped. She turned the corner and pulled into a parking space in the lot behind him. She didn’t get out of the car, didn’t signal for him to come over. She simply sat and waited, her eyes still on him.
Limping, Kevin approached the passenger side of her car. Sarah reached over and opened the door for him. “You don’t look so good.”
He would have grinned or made a joke, but she didn’t look so good either. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks splotchy. The freckles he loved so much were barely visible. Victory appeared to be his, yet he couldn’t rejoice in her pain. Her happiness meant more to him than winning her heart.
Climbing into her small car was no easy chore, but he managed to sit, pull his legs in and shut the door. “After our talk, I decided to take a walk.”
“You’re at least six miles from your house. Are you crazy?”
“I’m starting to think so.” He smiled and left it at that. The desire to ask deep, probing questions was strong, but he used every bit of restraint in him and held back. If she wanted to talk, they’d talk. If not, he’d accept the ride with his thanks and nothing more.
Sarah backed out of her parking space and pulled onto the street. When they’d driven six blocks, she glanced his way. “Aren’t you going to ask how it went?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t need to. Your face and body language are speaking for you.”
She refocused on the road in front of her. “I told him everything, and all he could say was that it was too much to absorb.” She huffed out a bitter laugh. “He got a little angry, which I expected, then he shut down on me. His analytical mind took over and he turned off all emotion. We’re supposed to meet for breakfast tomorrow, which means I have the next eighteen plus hours to wonder what our future holds.” She made a sharp right turn. “Why couldn’t he just stay and talk to me?”