Lost to introspection, I’m jilted from my daydream when Kade yells my name, and Pops slaps my thigh. “What?” I snap, glaring at them.
“We asked you a question.” Pops rolls his eyes.
Shit.
“Yeah? What?”
“Have you been listenin’ at all?” Kade asks.
Like I’m gonna admit I’m not and get razzed for it. “Sure. Whatever. Just ask your fuckin’ question.” I adjust my ass on the arm as Big drops himself onto a stool next to Gunz. Guess he’s leaving this for us to settle. Either that, or he’s tired like the rest of us. I think we all need a good twelve hours and some pussy. Not that I’m gettin’ any of the latter. It’s been a while. Surprised my dick hasn’t fallen off from neglect.
“We want your thoughts on how we should handle Kat, the girls, and Vanessa. Seein’ as though you got two chicks knocked up. One that is pretty fuckin’ priceless to us, and the other’s your old lady.” Kade crosses his arms defiantly over his chest and quirks a challenging brow.
Fuck all that horse shit.
I stand, squarin’ up to my brother for pissin’ me off. I get that he needs to let off some steam. We all do. But fuck … he doesn’t need to take that out on me. We’re on the same side. Pushin’ my buttons is not the way we roll. “First off, the same one who you’re callin’ priceless is my old lady! Everyone fuckin’ knows that,” I snarl, pointin’ a finger at him like he’s an errant child. This always gets him riled up. So what. He already insinuated Vanessa’s my old lady, and that’s bull. I don’t like playin’ games.
“Really? Is that why you tended to your wife when Kat was goin’ through hell, gettin’ stitched by me? You weren’t there. You didn’t see her pain. You left as soon as we got here to go check on your bitch. So, excuse me for assumin’ that you decided Vanessa was your old lady. ‘Cause I damn sure know that I’d be takin’ care of what’s mine before handlin’ some prissy bitch who means nothin’ to me.”
Whoosh… The emotional blow slams into my gut like a wrecking ball as soon as the words are spoken. Air punches from my lungs, and I wrap an arm around my aching middle to keep from buckling. Kade’s right. So goddamn right. I should’ve let Vanessa handle herself and made sure Kat was okay. I shouldn’t have left. Fuck! I’m screwin’ this all up.
He’s not done. “Then we ask you what you wanna do about them and you ain’t even got the decency to listen to us talk. It’s like you don’t give a fuck.”
What?!
“I give a fuck!” I roar, eyes flying wide, taking a step forward. “I give a lot of fuck. I’ve always given a fuck. She’s been mine for years!”
“Then act like it!” Kade returns, shaking his head in disgust, the bottle swinging between his fingertips like he’s ready to chuck it at my skull. “Make a choice on what you wanna do with the two women who’re carryin’ your kids! We can’t decide for you. You should want this power. Power that Pops and Big didn’t have to grant you, but did. If you’d been listening. They’re yours to take care of, Ryker. So do your damn job or we’re handlin’ Kat and feedin’ Vanessa to the wolves. Ya, hear me?”
Fuck! He’s right. Scrubbing a hand down the side of my face, feelin’ all kinds of useless right now, I give myself a mental kick in the ass. I love my bro, even if he can be a prick sometimes. At least he’s lookin’ out for Kat and me.
“Alright,” I reply calmly, lifting my hands in mock surrender to defuse the situation before Kade unleashes himself on me. I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now. “I know what we gotta do. Kat and the girls gotta…
Kat
There’s a dip in the mattress beside me. My eyes flutter open a smidge to watch Kade slip under the covers in a pair of boxers. The mother in me wants to scold him for climbing into bed with an emotional pregnant lady, wearing nothing but his skivvies. The rest is grateful to have a body to curl up next to. To gather the warmth that’s been missing from my life for what feels like years. Loneliness has a way of breaking your spirit, and this week, it’s zapped everything from my soul. I need a recharge.
Resting his head on the pillow next to mine, he burrows closer, until our noses are two inches from touching.
“You awake?” he whispers, wafting the scent of crisp beer up my nose. I can’t help but grin.
“Yeah,” I whisper just as quietly like it matters what our decibels are.
Nobody else is gonna hear us. Nor care. We’re not in high school, hiding from our parents, trying not to get caught. He didn’t just sneak in through my bedroom window to ravish me like you read about in books. A muted giggle bubbles its way up and out of my throat at the thought.
“Why are we whispering?” I say through a tired smile, disregarding the niggling pain in my face.
“Because I didn’t know if you were asleep.”
The edge of his lopsided grin is highlighted by the sliver of light sneaking out of the cracked bathroom door. I turned it on after the Sacred Sisters left. They didn’t stay long, per my request. It’s uncomfortable conversing with a set of women who look at you with pity. There’s only so much of that I can take. So when I told them I needed to sleep, Deb, the more assertive one, was hesitant to leave me be. After a few practiced yawns, over exaggerated arm stretches, and a trip to the bathroom, she relented and they left. I’m not sure how long ago that was. But as soon as they departed, I climbed into bed and have been waiting for Kade ever since. Pretty sure I dozed here or there, because my eyes are crusty and there’s a small puddle of drool on my pillow. Sorry, Big.
“How’d the meeting go?”
Slithering like a snake through the tall grass, Kade’s hand crosses my side of the bed and bumps my belly. “Shit. Sorry. Where’s your hand?” he asks, patting my roundness in apology.
Untucking one from underneath the pillow, I offer it to him. “Right here.”
Without pause, Kade cups his bigger mitt over mine, pinning it to the mattress, so we’re sort of holding hands but not. It’s like softcore hand porn in the missionary position without any foreplay or penetration. The heat of his calloused palm seeps into mine, comforting me in only ways that Kade can. There’s nothing sexual or romantic about it. It’s two friends reconnecting as we lay on our sides, facing one another. Maybe he knows we can’t cuddle because it’ll be too much, but that his small gift of affection makes all the difference? Don’t ask me how he reads me like his favorite book. He just does. Not that I know if he has a favorite book. Most of the time when I drone on about mine, he teases me. What can I say? I’m sort of a nerd.
“We’ll talk about that shit in the morning,” he grumbles.
That doesn’t sound promising.
“Take it, it didn’t go well?”
The bed shifts and I think I see his shoulder rise and fall in a shrug. Though I can’t be sure; the room’s too dark to tell.
“It was fine,” he evades.
“Fine in girl talk means not okay. Or is this fine in man talk? Where it actually means fine. By your tone, I’d say this is the female version.”
Kade chuckles heartily, perfuming the air between us with more beer scent. I’m not sure if I’m grossed out or thankful to smell something familiar. It’s better than the industrial scent of the warehouse. Or the lingering stench of my bodily fluids fermenting in that bucket. Who knew after a few hours of smelling it, you’d become nose blind to the stink? Not me. I’m grateful for it, though.
“We’ll talk about it in the mornin’, Watermelon tits.”
Him and that damned nickname.
“I don’t wanna talk about it in the morning, Dickcheese. I wanna talk about it now,” I faux gripe, plying him to divulge anything and everything.
It feels like ages since we’ve talk talked. It’s different than chatting with a group of women you don’t know. Not that they’re bad. They’re not. They’re awesome. But when you’ve been locked up in a room for what feels like a month, you want something familiar to bring you back to reality. I’m grateful that Kade traveled
all this way to be here for me. He’s a sweetheart.
“Ryker’s an asshole. How does that sound?” He sighs, exasperated.
“Sounds about right. Wanna talk about it?” Discussing Ryker and how much of an asshole he is, is so far up my alley that it’s in my driveway, with the window down, as I sing I Don’t Want No Scrubs.
BTW, that’s my jam.
“There’s nothin’ to say. I love my brother, but he’s fuckin’ stupid sometimes. He needs to pull his head outta his ass.”
“Tru dat, g-money,” I say in my most ridiculous thug voice.
“Did you just say g-money?” he snorts amused, and I think shakes his head. I can’t be certain. At least I know he’s smiling. Mission accomplished.
“Yeah. I did. I think your beer breath’s gettin’ me drunk.”
Kade covers his mouth. “Shit. I’m sorry,” he mumbles behind his fingers. I can’t help but laugh.
“It’s fine. Trust me. I promise. Anything is better than the smell of my own urine or a cold building.” He lets me peel his hand from his face and force it back to its rightful place.
“You sure?”
I can’t believe he’s this self-conscious.
“Sheesh. Yes. I’m sure.”
“Good. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Big would murder me, then piss on my grave if I stole his toothbrush.” He’s dead serious.
“He would not. He’s letting us sleep in his bed, and I drooled on his pillow.”
Kade gasps dramatically. “Uh-oh. You better not tell him that. You might be next.”
I slap him playfully on the shoulder. “You’re so full of shit. Now back to Ryker. Why’s he an asshole? And have you talked to Dad? I haven’t.”
“No. You can talk to your dad tomorrow. He and Pops have been goin’ at it all night. Just let it go for now. We’ll discuss more of this in the mornin’. You need to get a good night’s sleep.” Kade yawns, making me think he needs it more than I do. I got a little rest as I waited for him, which seems to have tied me over for now.
“You’re staying with me all night, right?”
Please say he’s not gonna skip out after I’m down for the count. I don’t wanna wake up to an empty bed. Not tomorrow. Not after this week.
Kade leans in and sweetly pecks the tip of my nose. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, beautiful. Sleep well. And that’s an order.”
I smirk, immediately feeling a hundred times better. “Sir. Yes, sir… Night.”
In the light of day, I’ll finally see my girls again, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve missed their cute butts like crazy. Then I’ll talk to Dad. And if I know him like I think I do, he’s probably going nuts not bein’ here. When I heard through the grapevine that Bear had left Dad behind, I felt for their situation. It’s gotta be difficult to navigate. But that’s too much for me to handle right now. I’ve got enough on my plate. Namely, a big asshole named Ryker whose necklace I’m still wearing as a reminder that I can’t trust him to do the right thing. Even Kade’s pissed at him, which doesn’t bode well for the situation.
Slipping my eyes shut, I inhale a deep lungful of air and blow it out, ridding my body of pent-up tension. Now’s not the time to overthink. Kade’s right. I need a good night’s rest. And there’s not a damn thing I’m gonna let stop me.
Ryker
Unfolding the metal chair outside Big’s bedroom, where Kat’s resting, I shove it against the wall next to the door and drop my heavy ass on it before crossing my arms over my chest. It’s time to settle in for the night. I refuse to sleep away from her, so the hall will have to do. This way, I can keep anyone from buggin’ her or Kade—who’s one lucky motherfucker.
When I first heard he was for real sleeping with my little Tiger, I wanted to gut him. Then I quickly thought better. He’s the only person I’d want in there with her, aside from myself. He can protect Kat from possible nightmares, and I know I don’t have to worry about him coppin’ a feel. It took me a hot minute to grasp they’re merely friends. Even though most outsiders would think otherwise. Like I give a fuck what they think anyhow.
Turnin’ the corner, Gunz, and his shiny bald head, spies me sittin’ outside her door like some love-struck idiot in a Disney movie. In tow, he’s got a brunette club whore clinging to his hand. I’m surprised the bitch’s walking at all. By her blown pupils and the way she squeezes her thighs together, I’d say she’s already gotten some biker dick. Either that, or she’s high as a kite. Any second now, the chick’s liabale to drop to her knees and give me a cock suckin’ show. That’d be more action than I’ve gotten in over a month. What? Ya can’t blame a guy for dreamin’.
“Really?” Gunz arches an amused brow.
I don’t have time for this shit.
Arms still tucked, I shrug nonchalantly, pullin’ my lips into a thin line, chin lifted in challenge. I’d like to see him razz me about this. “What?” I growl.
A smirk quirks at the corner of his lip as the whore paws at his arm like a bitch in heat. He pays the eager whore no mind as he stands three feet from my seat, casually makin’ eye contact.
“You do know sittin’ outside her room ain’t gonna fix none of this.”
“I get that.”
“If Kat’s anythin’ like my Bink, she’s a stubborn one. So you’re gonna have a helluva lot of grovelin’ to do to make any of this right. Don’t think for a second this is gonna be easy on you.”
What the actual fuck? I didn’t ask him for dating advice. Or how to handle my woman. The dude’s never had an old lady for as long as I’ve known him. Where does he come off actin’ like some fake ass love guru? To what? Impart his infinite wisdom that doesn’t exist?
“Your point?” I snap.
“That you need to reign in your cocky mouth and grovel ‘til your knuckles and knees bleed. Or you’re gonna end up with that nasty excuse of an old lady. It’s bad enough you’ve got ‘em both knocked up. And I’m not even about to ask how you managed that shit all the way from Texas. Come tomorrow, this is a whole new ballgame, brother. I want you prepared. ‘Cause Big’s neck deep in his own personal bullshit. Our club doesn’t have time to handle your love triangle and a rival club on top of everything else. Ya gettin’ what I’m puttin’ down?”
Damn it all to hell. I know he’s right. Still, I’m tired as fuck, and don’t wanna think about what tomorrow’s gonna bring. He doesn’t need to remind me. People gotta realize I didn’t ask for any of this. It happened, and now I’ve gotta handle it like a man. Life has a way of raining buckets of watery shit down on you.
Somberly, I bob my head, growing more exhausted by the second. “I’m hearin’ ya loud and clear.” There, I’m done talking. I’ve got nothin’ left to say.
Out of nowhere, the whore palms Gunz’s dick. Annoyed, he rumbles a string of expletives under his breath and sideways glances her way. “Are you wantin’ the belt tonight, Niki? ‘Cause you’re about to be punished for interruptin’ me.”
Licking her lips, her thighs press harder together.
Yeah. She sure as hell looks like she wants the belt. He’s got himself a kinky little whore. One who’s way too gangly to make even my neglected dick take notice.
Gunz lifts a displeased brow, awaiting her reply. Reading her man right, Niki mumbles some sort of half-assed apology. He reprimands her further by possessively gripping the back of her neck. Then Gunz turns to me, and we exchange mutual chin lifts before they disappear down the hall, with her half stumbling, half clinging to him. Looks like she got herself a lil more than she bargained for.
Tiltin’ my head back, restin’ it against the cool wall, I close my eyes and force myself to stop thinkin’ about Kat sleepin’ a few yards away. It’s the closest we’ve been in years. Somethin’ I’ll never forgive myself for.
Kat
Throwing my oversized sweats back on and stealthily unlocking the bedroom door, I slip into the hall, careful not to wake up a lightly snoring Kade. Ever so quietly, I reclose it, then nearly trip and fall on my ass
when I walk straight into a folding chair. The metal screeches across the floor, and I wince, praying it doesn’t rouse my best friend.
“What the hell is this doing here?” I whisper hiss, returning the chair to its spot, scowling. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was someone keeping watch outside my door last night. I sure as hell hope not.
Pushing that thought to the side, I navigate my way toward the common room of the clubhouse. A couple leather-clad members I don’t recognize pass me. In greeting, they lift their chins like some macho badasses, and I do the same, unsure of how I’m supposed to act.
Just as I near the common room to find someone who can retrieve my girls, a round of familiar giggles filter out from what I presume is the kitchen. Curious, I follow the enthusiastic banter and shove open the door.
“What’s—” Words turn to ash inside my mouth, toes freeze to the floor, as my eyes widen at the acute horror spread before me. How could this be happening? No! No! No!
A hush descends throughout the space for what feels like a millennia. The thrumming of my heart follows the tick of the nearest clock as three sets of nearly identical eyes swing my direction. The two sets attached to my heart and soul bring me a semblance of peace, the other belong to the man I wish would rot in Hell for all eternity. I’m going to kill the son of a bitch. String him up and castrate him with a pair of dull kitchen shears, so he can’t do this to another unsuspecting woman. So she doesn’t have to feel what I do at this very moment, watching my innocent, unsuspecting daughters sit in this room with their father. The man who abandoned them—us. The man who, from the smell permeating the air, made them pancakes and fucking bacon for breakfast. The heady aroma of maple syrup is enough to clog my pores.
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