‘It’s a fine chocolate cake,’ she snapped, and the quirk of his lips turned into full-scale laughter.
‘Dehydrated eggs, no butter and flour milled last century…’ He lifted it up to the light and examined it some more before dropping it into the waste bucket-where it definitely bounced again. ‘It’s a fine chocolate cake,’ he agreed, still grinning. ‘Or a fine small nuclear missile, ready charged.’
She swallowed. ‘Do you mind? And stop changing the subject. I was in-’
‘Yeah. You were in the middle of calling me a low-life, belly-crawling maw-worm or some such.’ His tone was suddenly admiring. ‘You’ve been practising your insults. They’re very good.’
‘Luckily,’ she said scathingly, ‘I’ve had heaps of people to practise on.’
‘I guess you have,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘Nicole, Charles, Brian. The kid who sold your story to the papers. Others maybe. Jenna, I’m not like that.’
‘You told-’
‘I didn’t tell,’ he said, and the restraint in his voice was suddenly obvious. It was as if he were trying to placate a child. ‘You know the lady who was reading Karli a story when Brian came into the carriage to tell you that Nicole was dead?’
It was so unexpected a statement that it caught her flat-footed. She stared. ‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘Will you listen?’ he said patiently. ‘It seems the lady wasn’t just any little old lady. Enid’s a chief magistrate of the West Australian court, retired. She’s one very astute woman and she wanted to know what happened to you.’
‘But-’
‘So Enid made enquiries,’ Riley said patiently. ‘As the train continued and she didn’t see you again she got more and more worried. By the time the train reached Kalgoorlie she’d instigated a search. When you weren’t on the train she forced the rail authorities to contact the police. Brian had to face a very uncomfortable interview, and then the police started searching the track. They contacted a couple of the people who collected goods from the train when it stopped here. One of the locals remembered I was staying here. He radioed me and I let the police know your whereabouts. After Enid’s fuss, if I hadn’t confirmed you were here you’d have had search parties out looking for you, planes doing overhead searches-the works.’
It stopped her in full flight. It shocked her to silence. She stood and stared.
‘So…we wouldn’t have died at the siding.’
‘You’d have had a bad twenty-four hours, but Enid would have got you help.’
‘I… I don’t know what to say.’
He grinned again. ‘Try an insult. I really like your insults.’
‘Shut up,’ she told him and his grin broadened.
‘You can do better than that.’
She glared and he grinned some more.
‘Hey, you accused me of telling the press. I’ve explained it wasn’t me. It’s me who’s supposed to be glaring.’
So why was she glaring? It was because he was smiling, she thought. It was because…she had no defences. She just had to look at this man and things inside her crumpled that had no business crumpling. She made a desperate attempt to haul herself together.
‘I’m sorry,’ she managed.
‘Think nothing of it,’ he said, his tone almost avuncular. ‘I enjoyed it. No one’s ever called me a low-life, belly-crawling worm before.’
‘I can’t think why not,’ she said, and he grinned again.
‘Ouch.’
His tiredness had receded, she thought suddenly. The fatigue that seemed almost part of the man had faded a little. She’d made him laugh.
She liked it that she’d made him laugh.
Oh, for heaven’s sake, this was dangerous territory and she had no business treading there. She needed to move on.
She needed to concentrate on Karli.
‘So… So you’ve told everyone that I’m here?’ she managed and his smile faded.
‘No. I told the Territory police. But the officer I talked to said there was huge press interest. They searched the train at Kalgoorlie, which created interest. Other passengers saw what happened and they’ve figured out who you are. The police sergeant said the press won’t be told exactly where you are, but everyone knows you got off the train somewhere along here. So if I was a reporter, I’d be waiting for you to get back on the train again.’
She stared up at him, immeasurably distressed, but there was no reassurance in his face. Riley was telling the truth. He didn’t like it any more than she did, she thought suddenly. And at least…at least the eyes she was looking into were totally frank.
How could she have called him those names?
Riley Jackson was a man she could trust. Among all the fear and disillusion of the last few days-of her whole life, if she was honest-this stood out as an absolute truth. Whatever else Riley was, he was a man who was ruthlessly honest.
Riley’s honesty didn’t make what he was telling her one bit more palatable. She bit her lip.
‘Which means Karli…’
‘Karli will face cameras and reporters as soon as you board.’
‘Which will be awful,’ she said. ‘It’s the last thing she needs. I never should have got off.’
‘If Brian’s as bad as he sounds, you hardly had a choice.’
‘At least I won’t have to have anything to do with him again,’ she whispered, thinking it through. ‘If Karli had inherited, then Brian would want her. This way, he thinks he’s won and he’ll go away with the money and leave us alone.’
Riley stayed silent.
‘But what will I do?’
‘Get back on the train,’ he suggested. ‘Face the music. Shield Karli as much as you can, but explain to her that there’ll be couple of awful days before you get on with the rest of your life. Hit Perth in a blaze of publicity and make life very, very unpleasant for Brian.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he deserves it,’ he said flatly. ‘For all Brian knows, you’re dead of thirst by now. If Enid hadn’t contacted the police there’d have been no search party, no enquiries, nothing.’
‘He mustn’t realise…’
‘He’ll have realised. Either that or the man’s a fool.’
Jenna swallowed. No. Brian wasn’t a fool. And this was his daughter he’d put at risk.
She could bring him down, she thought. She could denounce him to the gutter press and they’d have a field-day. But…
‘He’s Karli’s father,’ she whispered. ‘What sort of legacy does that leave her?’ She gazed at him for a long minute, searching for answers.
There were none.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ she faltered. ‘I need to go to bed.’
‘To face unpleasant facts in the morning?’
She shrugged. ‘They might seem less hopeless then,’ she admitted.
‘Jenna…’
Riley stood looking down at her in the flickering lamplight. What was it with this man? Jenna felt small and lonely and utterly bereft-sensations she hadn’t felt since childhood. She’d decided early on that feeling small and lonely and bereft wasn’t the way to survive. She’d learned tough.
So where was tough when she needed it most? She needed tough right now.
And when his hands came out and caught hers in a gesture that seemed almost unconscious, she felt the tough layer she’d so carefully built up slip away even further. He made her feel… He made her feel…
She didn’t know how he made her feel. Just different. Alive. And very, very vulnerable.
Something of how she was feeling must have got through to the man before her. He was a fool if he couldn’t see how confused she was-and if there was one thing she’d learned by now it was that Riley Jackson was no fool.
‘It’ll seem better in the morning,’ he told her and there was something in his voice that told her he was as unsure as she was. He was entering unchartered territory as well. The territory of caring. ‘You’ll get through this.’
‘I know I
will,’ she whispered. ‘I always have. But I don’t see how I can shield Karli.’
His hold on her hands tightened. He stood staring down at her, his mouth twisting into an expression that Jenna couldn’t define. She looked up into his eyes-and then she looked away. She didn’t trust…herself?
He was so close. So strong. So… So Riley. She stood in her bare feet with her soft pastel dress seeming somehow too insubstantial. It was no barrier. Not when she wanted to sink against him. To feel his strength. To have him hold her.
He was so close to her heart.
The silence went on and on. Absolute silence. The world stopped.
And something within Jenna’s heart formed and grew-bud to flower almost instantaneously. It grew so fast that it threatened to overwhelm her.
What was it? Need? Desire?
Whatever it was, her overwhelming compulsion was to lay her head against this man’s chest and claim it as her home. The home she’d never had was suddenly right here.
Right here in this man’s heart.
Only it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. This man had nothing to do with her. He was a stranger. He was an Australian dust farmer of whom she knew nothing, except that he lived in the most barren place in the earth and he wanted nothing to do with any woman.
But he was holding her. And she was feeling…what? What was this sensation that was swelling beneath her breast, so much that she thought she must surely burst? Or cry. Or do something even more stupid, like falling against him and holding him hard against her and raising her face to his and…
No!
Somehow she made herself push away, so that Riley was holding her at arm’s length, his face grave and troubled, and the weariness in his eyes replaced by concern.
‘I’m sorry,’ she managed. ‘You have enough troubles of your own without landing you with mine.’
‘Maybe I can help.’
‘You already have. But from now on I’m on my own. Mr Jackson…’
‘Riley.’
‘Riley, then,’ she whispered, and the word sounded wrong on her lips. It was as if it were the embrace she so desperately wanted to give him. Wanted him to give her.
‘What’s your biggest worry?’
‘Karli,’ she admitted. ‘To make her face reporters. If there’s media on the train and we’re stuck on board for two days…’
‘I can fly you out of here.’
‘You said you couldn’t.’
‘I said I couldn’t immediately,’ he told her. ‘Which was true. My job here is to get the bores operational and to make the house habitable enough for a couple of men to use as a base for muster.’
‘Muster?’
‘We’ll bring in trucks and take the surviving herd south where they can graze on some decent feed. These poor beasts won’t know themselves. But getting men to stay here before the place was liveable was impossible. You’ve saved me a couple of days’ work. I’ve fixed the most urgent water problems. If I spend tomorrow making your repairs permanent-putting wood where you’ve stuffed newspapers-and spend another day south of here doing a head count, then I can fly out. That makes it Tuesday. You’re welcome to come with me.’
‘But…where will you go?’ She gave a futile tug to her hands.
‘Munyering. My home farm.’
‘Another farm?’ She forced her emotions to one side-sort of-and made herself concentrate. ‘Like this one?’
He smiled at that. ‘No, Jenna, not like this one. Munyering’s isolated, but we have decent bore water and it’s in much better condition.’
It’d have to be, she thought, but it was hard to think it. Hard to think anything, really, with this man’s hands holding hers.
‘Then…how could I reach civilisation from Munyering?’
‘I’ll take you.’ And his fingers moved through hers in a gesture of reassurance.
It was strange, Jenna thought desperately. Riley was talking-he was touching her-as if he was unaware of the effect he was having. As if he didn’t feel what was running through her hands. It was like an electric current, bringing warmth and strength and…
And nothing. Make yourself think, she told herself harshly. Cut it out with the hormones. Just because this guy makes you feel like you want to jump him…
Jump him? What was she thinking?
She knew exactly what she was thinking.
‘I’ll refuel at Munyering and fly you on down to Adelaide,’ he was saying. ‘You can take a flight from there to wherever you want to go.’
Where did she want to go?
Home is where the heart is. The saying drifted through her mind with awful bleakness. According to that criterion she’d never had a home. Somehow she had to create one for Karli.
But at least she had a start. Riley would save them from the train. He’d fly them to Adelaide and then…
She looked up into his concerned face and felt her foundations shift.
This was crazy. What on earth was she thinking?
With a gasp she jerked her hands back and this time she was released. She stepped back as though fending him off, but Riley didn’t follow.
‘I’ll pay you.’
‘You’ll do nothing of the kind.’
‘I don’t accept help without payment.’
‘Then learn to do so. If not for you, then for Karli.’
‘But you can’t afford-’
‘I can afford. Believe me, Jenna. Just accept.’
She sighed. It was all too hard. She didn’t want to be beholden to this man. Not like this. But it seemed she had no choice.
She wasn’t on her own any longer. Choices were out of her control. She had to think of Karli.
‘I…thank you,’ she whispered.
‘Think nothing of it,’ he said gently. ‘And you don’t need to thank me. You and Karli have worked long and hard making this place liveable. It’s me who’s grateful and I pay my debts.’
He was grateful? He was offering to fly them out of here because he felt grateful? Was that the emotion she wanted him to feel?
No. Not one bit.
‘Go to bed, Jenna,’ Riley said softly. ‘You’ve done a hard two days’ work.’
‘So have you. Saving your cattle.’
‘While you saved my house.’ He stared around again as if he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. ‘I’m aching to see it in the morning.’
‘If it’s still standing,’ she said and she heard a note of asperity enter her voice. She couldn’t help it. Was the man totally insensitive? Here she was practically aching for him to touch her-kiss her senseless and make her forget every darned thing she’d ever taught herself about keeping her distance-and he was talking about housekeeping.
She glared up at him, aware that it was crazy to glare, but she couldn’t help herself.
He gazed back at her and his expression was inscrutable.
Then, finally, Riley touched her cheek lightly, as if he was touching something that was almost infinitely precious-and totally beyond his reach.
‘It’s late,’ he said flatly, and his voice was solid and uncompromising. ‘Go to bed, Jenna.’
Her glare faltered. Her hand lifted and caught his. Her eyes held his for a long moment. Asking questions she knew he couldn’t answer.
Go to bed?
She had to. She must.
A girl had some dignity.
She dropped his hand as if it burned-then turned and fled before she did something she might regret for the rest of her life.
Maybe.
For a long time after Jenna left, Riley didn’t stir from the kitchen. He sat over a can of beer-and then another and then another. He was weary beyond belief, but there was an inertia hanging over him that wouldn’t let him move.
Or was it inertia? Maybe it was the unbearable thought of going out to the veranda and walking past the place where Jenna lay.
She was so beautiful. So lovely. A slip of a girl who’d fought her way in life, who reacted like a terrier who’d defen
d herself and her own to the death. He thought of what she’d faced as a kid, on the streets of London, fighting for a living, and he thought of her parents’ privileged backgrounds, and he felt an anger surging through him that was almost overwhelming. No wonder she was prepared to fight for Karli’s future. If she felt about Karli as he felt about her…
What sort of low-lifes were these people? Brian? Charles? The dead Nicole?
They needed to be shot, he thought, and then he remembered Nicole was already dead and caught himself in a half-smile. Maybe not. But damn, if he hadn’t been here to help… He found himself squeezing his beer can so hard it crushed beneath his fingers. He stared down at the mangled metal in confusion.
‘What the hell has this mess got to do with you, Riley Jackson?’ he demanded of himself. ‘You don’t get involved. Remember? You know what you should do? Get in the plane and take the pair of them to Adelaide tomorrow. You’ve got the worst of the bore problems solved. You could take them and come back-it’d be only an extra day. So do it. Get rid of them fast. Get rid of trouble.’
Trouble.
The word drifted round and round the kitchen.
If he took them now he’d have to come back, he acknowledged, looking round the gleaming little kitchen with eyes that saw just how much work the pair of them had put in to get it the way it was. And, strangely, that was the problem. Take them to Adelaide and come back here? The thought was unbearable.
Why?
‘What on earth are the pair of them doing to you?’ Riley demanded. He lifted one of Karli’s make-do birthday candles and stared at its dead wick as if it might give him answers. ‘They’re making you feel like you swore you’d never feel again.’
‘I’ve never felt like this before.’
‘Yeah, but you know what you’re feeling, boy. Desire. Pure and simple.’
And yet it wasn’t. He knew it wasn’t. The vision of Jenna floated before him, and although Riley’s hand clenched hard on his candle he knew it wasn’t just lust that was making him feel this way. It was so much more.
It was the overwhelming need to make Jenna smile. To take the look of distrust from her eyes. To make Karli chuckle. To take away the hurt…
‘Stop it right now!’ He hurled the can savagely across the kitchen-and then, thinking better of it as it lay untidily on the newly scrubbed floor, he rose, retrieved it and carefully placed it in the waste. It lay on top of the remains of the chocolate cake.
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