Fifteen
Harrison
Leaving the palisades and driving back to Adrian’s house was a shock to the system. I’d been so completely caught in the moment, with Adrian in my arms and surrounded by the cliffs and the sea. For that brief time, that’s all there was. Just Adrian and me.
Brief was an understatement. The world came crashing back as soon as we emerged once more. The residents of Lavender Shores had already begun to make their way home, but the reporters and those longing for photographic evidence were tenacious. Several were waiting for us at the main part of the beach, which made me wonder how we’d managed to sneak off the way we had. Small miracle. They followed us up the rocky path that led to the top of the cliffs, shouting questions and snapping pictures. Their ferocity doubled when we reached the top.
Things had seemed so magical and surreal, that reality crashed back in with the force of a tsunami. Adrian and I returned to our strategy from before—clasped hands, eyes straight ahead, mouths closed.
As we walked to my car, I started to wonder if maybe things hadn’t been quite as miraculous as they felt. Would we wake up tomorrow with pictures of Adrian and I snuggled into the cliff? Maybe it was ridiculous, but that almost seemed more invasive than the video at the glasshouse. Somehow more private.
By the time we pulled into his driveway, I was able to shove the concern away, at least mostly. It was what it was. And if there were photos of that moment trending the next day, it wouldn’t change how perfect it had been.
Adrian and I were halfway to his door before the reporters began falling out of their vehicles and clamoring their questions. Though muffled, they could still be heard as Adrian shut the door on them and twisted the deadbolt. His shoulders slumped, though I couldn’t tell if it was in relief or exhaustion. “That was one thing I didn’t consider by staying here tonight. We just gave them another place to camp out besides the bookshop.” He shrugged. “Oh well, nothing to be done about it. At least, when we’re here, we’re alone.”
“I can leave, I can go back to the apartment. There’s no reason for you to have to go through this.” Will and I hadn’t had to deal with any of this nonsense when we’d started out. Granted, there was never too long in between someone recognizing me and snapping a picture or asking for an autograph, but it was nothing compared to this.
In what I was beginning to think of as Adrian’s signature move with me, he gripped both of my shoulders and gave me that serious stare of his. “You gotta stop that. They will get tired of us. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but it shouldn’t be too bad. But if I’m wrong, it’s nothing I can’t handle. If anything, it will just make the end result sweeter, with all we have to face starting out.”
My heart warmed at that, but I couldn’t keep from wondering in the back of my mind if he knew what he was getting into. I’d been in the limelight for years when I agreed to do the show with Will, and even I hadn’t been prepared. “Okay, if you’re sure you still want to do this tonight, then—”
He narrowed his eyes, but his expression looked like he was teasing. “Harrison Getty, are you trying to get out of having sex with me tonight?”
Sex with Adrian was exactly where my mind had been as the fireworks had ceased. Leaving that beautiful moment, rushing to Adrian’s house, and making fireworks of our own. That had been washed away on the drive back. “Not even a little bit.”
“Good.” He gave me a quick kiss but pulled away before it could build into any heat. “Let me show you the house real quick, that way if you get up in the middle of the night, you’ll know where you are; you didn’t get to see it when you were here last time.” He winked. “And while we do that, I’ll double-check all the blinds, make sure we won’t wake up to another video.”
The tour was quick. Not surprisingly, Adrian’s style was simple and clean. The high quality that I’d come to associate with the founding families was evident, but it lacked the flash from anything in the Epstein houses.
He saved his bedroom for last, and, looking at his king-size bed, I suddenly got nervous. Very nervous. A quick glance around revealed the doorway to the master bath, and I gestured to it. “Do you mind if I take a second?”
“Of course not. Take all the time you need. If you decide you do want to shower, there are towels under the sink.” Again, his voice grew heated. “If you do happen to take a shower and get lonely… well, just give me a shout.”
I forced a laugh. “I’ll do that.”
Leaving him, I entered the restroom, flipped on the lights, and shut the door. The room seemed too bright, then I noticed a dimmer switch and softened the glare. I glanced at my reflection, but for whatever reason, the sight of myself made me uncomfortable, so I went over to the closed toilet and took a seat.
Why the hell was I nervous? Sex wasn’t a new thing. Not even close. I hadn’t been out all that long, but I’d been having sex ages before that happened.
Maybe it was Will.
I did a quick scan, trying to determine if I felt guilty. I did, of course. I doubted I’d ever stop feeling guilty, but I didn’t think that was it.
Maybe it was the things they were saying about me. Despite my better judgment and explicit instructions from Jasper before Adrian had come over that morning, I’d done what I knew I shouldn’t. I’d hopped online and read the comments under the video, checked out different headlines. There were a few sentiments of Leave Harrison alone, he’s just living his own life and He’s not hurting anyone. But those were quite literally one in a million. The rest were different variations on slut, cheater, whore, and those were the good ones. The others, the ones that really got to me, used me as the example of what was wrong with gay men everywhere. That shouldn’t have surprised me. Though it hadn’t been intentional, being openly gay while playing in the NFL meant I was the poster boy and spokesperson for all the gays in sports. It only made sense that my fall from grace would be used as an excuse to smear every member of the LGBTQ community. That we were all deviants, sexual miscreants, no better than animals.
Then it all disappeared when Adrian arrived and blew my mind saying that he still wanted to be with me. At the party, even with trudging through reporters and feeling the gazes of many of the guests on us, it had felt like a taste of the life Adrian and I could have. Surrounded by friends, other couples who were building lives together. The rushing through reporters on the way to Adrian’s house, on our way to having sex for the first time, really having sex… that had stripped away the illusions.
The thing I couldn’t figure out, that swirled in my head and weighed down my soul, was trying to determine if what they said about me was true. If, by being with Adrian, I was in the wrong. That I should never have left Will. That I shouldn’t find someone new so quickly. That I deserved the injury that had ruined my career. I couldn’t make sense of it, and I didn’t have Will there to clear it up. Not Angela, not my father. Not even Jasper.
I couldn’t do this. None of it. But I couldn’t figure out how to start over.
“Harrison?” There was a knock at the door.
I flinched and realized I’d been holding my breath.
Adrian knocked again. “Harrison?” The handle turned, and the door opened slowly before he poked his head inside. He spotted me quickly. “You’ve been in here a long time, and I didn’t hear the shower. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Though I didn’t meet his gaze, I nodded and smiled.
He only hesitated for a moment, then walked the rest of the way in and knelt before me. This time he didn’t grip my shoulders but covered my hands, which were clinched in my lap. “You’re not okay, are you?”
“No. I’m fine. Really. I just—” My throat constricted. “I’m a little freaked-out, I guess. Sorry.”
“Harrison, you have no reason to be sorry. You can take all the time you need. The past several days have been a whirlwind for me. I’m sure that’s doubly true for you.” He smiled, gently, almost like he was speaking to a child or a wounded animal. Stran
gely, it was comforting. “We don’t have to do anything. Just like I said before, there are no rules. We do this how we want to do this. We can have sex tonight, or we can wait for six months. You can join me on the bed and we can curl up and sleep like we did this afternoon.” He swallowed. “Or I can take you back to Jasper’s. If… that’s what you need.”
I didn’t have to ask if that’s what he wanted; I could tell the words cost him. That helped somehow. “I don’t want to leave.” I tried to hold the next words back but failed. “I don’t want to hurt you, Adrian. I’ve already hurt so many. My dad, Will.” I snapped. “The whole gay community.”
He barked out a sharp laugh. “What? How in the hell have you hurt the gay community?”
“You should see the things they’re saying. That I’m proving what everyone says about gay guys to be true. The way I ran out on Will and then got with… you.”
One of his hands stopped covering mine and gripped my shoulder, once more. “None of that.” His voice was hard, though not unkind. “This is what we talked about earlier. We don’t give a fuck what anyone else says. Nobody. You hear me?”
I eased a little bit more at that. It was exactly what I needed. Someone to ground me. I nodded and sniffed again.
He squeezed my shoulder another time. “And you’re not hurting me. You’re not going to hurt me. So quit worrying about that.”
“How do you know?” The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, but I hadn’t wanted to hurt Will, either. Hadn’t wanted to do so many things that had ended up happening.
“I don’t know, I just do.” He shrugged. “You and Will weren’t right together. We are. Again, I have no idea how I know that, but it doesn’t change the fact. I’ve never believed it before, even though I saw it with my brother and his wife. But from things I’ve been… reading, and from watching other couples, I’m starting to believe that it’s possible to meet someone and just know. Sometimes instantly, and sometimes later, it just hits you like a flash of lightning.” His grip softened and traveled gently down my arm as he spoke. “That happened to me the other day at the glasshouse.” He gave a little laugh. “In that case, during literal lightning. I just knew. And it happened again tonight. There was nothing else in the world that mattered as I sat there in your arms. It was all you. All us. Just you, me, and the fireworks.” Another laugh. “I’ll never look at fireworks the same again. Ever. To me, they’ve always seemed nothing more than shapes, color patterns, and designs. But from now on, I think I’ll only be able to see flowers.”
Like Adrian had already proven he was able to do, with those words, he allowed me to breathe. All the stress and anxiety and fear vanished. It had taken me weeks to talk to Will about my childhood. It wasn’t something I’d been planning that night with Adrian either. But it felt right, safe.
As he looked up from his kneeling position on the bathroom floor, the soft glow from the dimmed lights highlighting his beautiful and earnest face, all my questions were answered. “Make love to me. Please.”
He smiled again, softer this time. His eyes searched mine for so long that I thought he was about to refuse, but then he nodded and laughed softly once more. “Yes. Although I never pictured myself doing anything by that term, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
As one, we stood, and keeping hold of one of my hands, Adrian led me out of the bathroom—away from my worries, doubts, and guilt. I sucked in a small breath when I saw the bedroom. Clusters of candles glowed from various spots in the room. The bed had been turned down, and somehow, even the bottle of lube and condoms placed on the bedside table seemed romantic and thoughtful. I turned to look at him in wonder.
He gave a sheepish grin and one of his shrugs. “It probably would’ve been too much, but after all the talk of flowers, I really wanted to spread rose petals or something all over the place. I didn’t have any.” He gestured to the other bedside table and I saw a bowl I hadn’t noticed. “I’ve got some grapes. Figured they were the next best thing.”
I turned back to him. “Grapes?”
“Yeah. Like I said, I didn’t have flowers. So, I figured you always hear that grapes, cheese, and wine are romantic.” He winced a little. “I didn’t have cheese or wine either.”
I laughed, and what little lingering doubt remained, vanished. “I think this might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”
Adrian scowled. “Shut up. There’s no way that’s true.”
It was.
I kissed him. More in thanks than anything. Then in relief.
As his hands circled the small of my back and began to travel up my spine, heat and desire replaced everything else.
I had no idea how long we stood in that embrace, arms wrapped around each other, hands slowly traveling over each other’s backs, slipping into hair, then shifting down to hips and thighs. So long that my erection smashing into his, simultaneously began to twitch from the need for release and cause pain from being trapped behind the denim and between our bodies.
I broke the kiss, started to unbutton his pale blue shirt then was overwhelmed by the task. “I need your skin on me. Just get naked. Right now.”
Adrian didn’t even pause, just took over where my hands had left off. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
I managed a couple of steps back as I started to undress myself. “I want to watch you. Don’t do it slow or anything, I just want to watch.”
He paused with a grin. “I noticed that the other day, you kinda like telling me what to do during sex, don’t you?”
I’d been about to undo the last button of my shirt, and I halted. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to—”
“Trust me, that was not a complaint.” Adrian parted his shirt and slid it over his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “My body is yours to command, however, whenever. It’s yours.”
Something tingled in me at that, some new sensation, or desire, I wasn’t sure what. Though it came along with a little spark of fear, I liked it.
He didn’t wait for me to respond, just started in on his jeans.
I returned to my own clothes, though I never broke my gaze from him.
And what a sight he was. He quite literally glowed in the candlelight. Even the dark hair covering the muscles of his chest and abs and upper thighs glistened. With every move he made, muscles twitched and flexed. I hadn’t known that watching a man take off his socks could be so captivating, but the way my cock pulsed at the sight proved it to be one of the most erotic things I’d ever seen.
I’d been with countless stunning men. Models, other football players, Will. All of them beautiful, all of them muscled. And even if I couldn’t label the difference, there was something that set Adrian apart. A quality that simultaneously put me at ease and set me on fire. Not the least of which was his direct gaze locking on me the entire time.
As he pulled down his underwear and stood before me completely naked, there wasn’t an ounce of embarrassment or doubt in his stance. But why would there be?
“You know how stunning you are, don’t you?”
He chuckled softly, though it was more heat than humor. He wrapped his fingers around his thick erection and gave a slow stroke, causing me to tremble. “If I ever thought that, with you standing in front of me, I know there’s no comparison. You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”
Comments on my looks had stopped meaning anything or sinking in ages ago. But I sucked in a breath at his words and was surprised to find that I believed them. I made quick work of my own socks, jeans, and underwear, then mimicked his pose.
Adrian growled softly. “Holy shit. We went a little too fast the other day in the glasshouse. I didn’t comprehend just how flawless you really are. But holy fuck.” He took a step toward me, then paused. “May I touch you, or are you wanting to tell me every move to make?”
At his words, again that strange sensation traveled through me. One that I couldn’t label. “No, like I said, I wasn’t trying to boss you around.”
“Yeah, because that would be a world of torture—having you tell me exactly what your body wants.” He didn’t wait for a response, not that I had one. He moved to me, placed his hands on my chest, and began to trace down my body. He trembled. “You really are actually hairless, aren’t you? Your skin is so smooth.”
I’d always been self-conscious about my lack of chest hair. Probably why I found it so erotic on Adrian. “Yeah.”
I started asking if its absence was okay, or apologizing that I didn’t have it, but he erased that doubt. “I love it. It doesn’t hide any aspect of your body.” He lowered his lips to my chest, his hands going around to my back once more, and then he flicked his tongue over my nipple, causing me to gasp. “I love it. You’re unbelievable.”
Adrian continued to explore with his tongue as he gently guided me toward the bed. When the backs of my thighs bumped against the edge of the mattress, he gave a small push with his hand to my chest, encouraging me to lie back. As I did, Adrian stood between my legs and pressed himself against me as he ran his hands back over my stomach and up my chest. “Fuck.” As his hands moved over my shoulders and squeezed my biceps, he rocked his hips, his erection sliding against me. “Fuck, Harrison. Seriously.”
I let my eyes close and lost myself to the sensation of his calloused hands running over every inch of my body. As they moved over my arms, his tongue explored my thighs, licking from the knee up to the base of my balls, then pulling away. Before I knew it, I began to pant.
Fingers stroked my jaw, and he squeezed lightly, just enough to cause me to flinch, and then he released, fingertips traveling over my throat as his lips returned to my nipples, and his cock rubbed against mine.
Without direction, my legs spread wide and circled his hips. His fingertips trailed up and down the length of my body as his tongue moved over my chest, scratched up my throat, traced my jaw, then captured my lips. As he kissed, his exploration never ceased. One hand continued featherlight caresses over my upper body, while his other smoothed over my thighs, and then teased at my hole.
The Glasshouse (Lavender Shores Book 6) Page 15