He looks so much better today. The swelling around his face has disappeared and the bruises are fading from deep black and blue to light purple and green. His stitches came out yesterday, leaving pink bumps of newly healed skin in their place. The missing patch of hair will no doubt put J over the edge, but I figure he will just shave it all. It wouldn’t be the first time. His appearance should be the least of his worries considering all he has been through. Hell, I will shave my head to match his if it means he will feel better.
With the beaming smile on Michelle's face, you would think she actually knows us. After spending the better part of the last ten days with us, I suppose she sort of does. She gives J a drink and explains that she will take his vitals before a doctor comes in to check him out. Jeremy places his chapped lips around the bright orange straw and drains the cup. Michelle seems pleased and she cannot hide her excitement over J’s awake state.
While Michelle takes and records J’s vitals, Bode comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. My head rests on his chest as we breathe a collective sigh of relief. For the first time in days, I feel like I can breathe. With his chin sitting on my shoulder Bode whispers, “God, it’s good to see him awake. Even if he is going to be a major pain in the ass now.”
We both chuckle, knowing this to be true. J will hate being immobile and somewhat helpless. As Michelle leaves the room, J's eyes shift to the hug Bode and I are still absent-mindedly sharing. It feels good to feel love back in the room after the soul-wrenching despair of the past days. Standing here with Bode I soak up the feeling of my family. It appears to be whole again.
With a smirk that gives me hope, J looks us up and down.
“You two look like hell,” he says with his trademark sarcasm.
We certainly do not look our best. I am clad in a pair of yoga pants and an old concert tee, with my hair pulled up into a haphazard ponytail. Bode has on tattered sweatpants, a faded t-shirt, and is sporting a beat-up baseball cap. We look like two kids straight out of the trailer park, as J and I did when we were kids. I guess if we had known today would be the big day we might have considered straightening our appearances a touch. Our less than appealing clothes aside, I am sure J is referring to the bags under our eyes and our general exhausted appearance.
We both laugh at the comment before Bode slides around me and goes to J. The emotion that silently passes between the two friends is unmistakable. The bond between Bode and my brother runs deep. They share a kinship that only years of being there for one another can build. Bode hangs his head with a slight shake before regaining his composure at J’s bedside. Relief continues to course through me and I see it take hold of Bode as well.
“Brother, you gave us one hell of a scare,” he says with all seriousness.
I continue to stand back in a haze of sorts as I watch the two of them talk. Michelle reminded Bode and I to keep the details of the accident and complications to ourselves until the doctor examines Jeremy. In this moment, I don’t care about the accident or the problems. All I care about is J healing. Right now, he is awake and alive and that is all that matters. We will all be right by his side for his eventual return to the top.
Finally making my way back over to the bed, I lean in and gently embrace my big brother. I am careful to avoid the many wires and to refrain from applying any real pressure that would cause him pain.
“God, J, I’m glad you're back. I love you.”
Chapter 4
Jeremy
My head hurts like hell, my leg is in a cast, my arm in a sling, and breathing is downright painful. I can see I am in a hospital and, judging from the looks on Rylee and Bode’s faces, I have been here a while.
They look like hell. Rylee has lost at least ten pounds and I would venture she hasn’t slept in days, based on the near black bags under her eyes. Bode is also a mess. I have never known my ladies’ man of a best friend to leave the house in sweats or with his hair unkempt, but here he is in all his natural glory. If I felt better I would give them hell, but I don’t so fuck it for now.
Besides their disheveled appearances, they keep looking at me as if I have returned from the dead. I want to ask a million questions, but my focus wavers and as I find a question it seems to disappear just as quick. The only question that seems to stick is the one I bark out.
“What the hell happened?”
They exchange a look and Rylee leans back, taking a seat on the edge of my hospital bed.
“Well, J, you were in an accident.”
Thanks for that answer, Captain Obvious. “No shit, Ry, I can see that. What happened?”
My abrasive tone catches her off guard but she brushes it aside and looks questioningly at Bode. The look irritates me because I can tell they are hiding something. I am the one in an immense amount of pain and they think they can hide shit? I don’t think so.
“Will one of you tell me what the hell is going on, please?”
They glance at one another again, further igniting my growing rage. Rylee tentatively places a hand on my uninjured leg.
“J, please give it a minute and the doctor will be in to explain everything. They asked us not to explain until they could examine you.”
Her eyes beg me to understand. I can see the sheen of her tears. The fact that the two people I trust implicitly will not tell me anything scares the hell out of me. My head is pounding and I have no idea what is going on around me. This is not who I am. I am Jeremy Ash, professional wide receiver. I take life by the balls, I don’t sit back and wait for anything. What the fuck happened and why can’t I remember?
As I am about to rip into the two of them, a tall, lanky man in green scrubs knocks and enters the depressing as hell room. Well thank fuck. This had better be the man with some answers. Better yet, maybe he is the man with the painkillers I desperately need.
He shakes hands with both Ry and Bode before introducing himself as Dr. Bowen. I try to remain calm and cordial as he explains who he is and offers his impressive list of credentials. Once the pleasantries are over the inquisition begins.
“Mr. Ash, how are you feeling?”
Answer: Like a freight train hit me.
“Mr. Ash, what is the last thing you remember before waking up here today?”
Answer: Shit, I’m not sure. I remember taking Ry to a hotel after the bomb scare at her office.
“Mr. Ash, do you know what year it is? When is your birthday?”
Answer: Well, last I checked, it was 2015. My birthday is June 6, 1990.
“Mr. Ash, are you experiencing any pain?”
Answer: Is that a joke? Fuck yeah, I am in pain.
“Mr. Ash, do you have any questions for me?”
Answer: Yeah, a shit ton, but I cannot seem to make them coherent yet.
“Mr. Ash, can we get you anything?”
Answer: No, now I just want to go back to sleep.
Once the inquisition is over, Dr. Bowen, Rylee and Bode gently explain the events of the past ten days. To say I am shocked to learn I have been in a coma is an understatement. However, at least that explains the skull-splitting headache. I try to think back to the hotel and the events that led to my stay here, but it is a blur. I can see pieces of memories. They flash in my mind, but I cannot place them. Trying to focus on any of them for more than a second increases the throbbing in my head.
Dr. Bowen tells me to rest and that my memory will come back bit by bit, but there is a chance I will not regain it all. The idea I might not regain my memory scares me until I think back on important things. I remember my childhood, not that anyone would want to. I remember playing football in college and being drafted. I remember Ry, Bode, and Eric. Well, it seems the important shit is still there, and that’s what matters. The way I feel, I’m not sure I want to remember anything else.
Once Dr. Bowen leaves the room, Ry comes over and sits on the edge of my bed. It is obvious she has something she wants to get off her chest, but she gives me a lazy smile instead.
�
�All right Rylee, I know that look. What is on your mind?” In other words, Sis, spit it out. I want to return to the comfort that the darkness of sleep provides.
Her smile fades and she looks down at the blue blanket covering my broken body. She picks at the tiny balls of lint on the fabric, which tells me that she is nervous. So I press her a little more. “Spill it, Ry.”
With a deep breath and tears in her eyes, she does.
“J, I am so sorry for all of this. I cannot believe this happened to you. Then you wouldn't wake up, and the heart incident, and I was so damned scared. I want you to know I am so sorry for all of this. I love you J and I just, just...”
I cut her off, irritated and surprised that she is apologizing as if this accident was her fault. Her hiccupping sobs continue and, although I don’t remember the accident, I know Ry is not responsible.
“Rylee Ash, this is not your fault. You did not cause this. I am not thrilled with my current situation, but I will heal and everything will be fine.”
I reach out and grab the hand that is picking at the blanket as her sobbing quiets.
“J, you don't remember. This is my fault, it is all my fault. I will never forgive myself for this.”
She looks so broken. I haven't seen that look since Ryan screwed her over. Unfortunately, I do not know what she is talking about. It’s not as if she was driving either car. She has to be referring to something else, but hell if I know what it is. I figure I will just wait and let Bode explain later.
“Come here, Ry.”
I pull her into my good side and give her a sort-of hug, the best I can manage with my mangled limbs. I am exhausted and want nothing more than to drift back into the black, but I could never resist taking care of my sister. She is my only true family and I will always make sure she is looked after.
“It doesn't matter what you think you did. I will never blame you. I love you baby girl, so quit your crying cause I need a nap.”
That earns me a smile and a gentle squeeze. “I can only hope that is still true once your memory comes back. But I love you too, no matter what.”
She stands up and I give her the most genuine smile I can manage. It must be a decent smile, since it shot pain all over my face. I must look horrendous if a smile feels this awful.
“Ry, why don't you go home for a little while? I’m willing to bet you have not left this hospital once, have you?”
She shakes her head. No surprise there. I would’ve done the same if roles were reversed. Ten days is a long time to go without a decent night’s rest and, by looking around this room, I know she hasn’t slept well. It looks like she has fashioned a bed out of the window seat that is at least a foot or two shorter than she is. And that cushion? I wouldn’t even let Boss sleep on that cushion.
“Go home, take a nap, get a decent shower, and come back later. I want to talk with Bode for a while anyway and then I am going to pass out.”
The reluctance on her face means it is highly unlikely she will leave, but it is worth a shot.
“Go, kiddo. I will be fine, and I am not going anywhere.”
After a hug and quick whisper to Bode, she agrees and slowly makes her way out of the room.
Chapter 5
Jeremy
Once Rylee is out of the room, I take a moment to steady myself. My head feels like it was used for target practice. The constant pounding makes it difficult to focus, but I need to get answers from Bode before sleep reels me back in. Fuck, I cannot wait for the relief sleep will provide from this hell.
I hate to put Bode on the spot, but right now I need to hear the truth. He has always given it to me straight in the past, so I expect today will be no different.
“So what the hell was Ry going on about?”
My best friend stares at me with what appears to be pity in his eyes. That pisses me off. I do not want or need anyone’s pity and he should fucking know better than that. Just because my body is broken does not mean I require pity. He can shove that shit right up his ass.
“Bode, wipe that pitiful look off your face and tell me, dammit. I know there is no way she is responsible for this. So what gives?”
With a deep breath and a hand through his hair, he finally comes over and sits down in the chair next to the bed. Thankfully with a less pathetic look on his face.
“J, they told us to keep the details to a minimum to keep from overwhelming you. I don't want to cause you any more harm. Believe me when I tell you I don't want to go through that again. I know I cannot watch your sister go through it again.”
I feel a little bad. I know that must have been hard to deal with. I cannot imagine how I would react if it had been one of them in my position. They are my family, the only people in the world who matter. I have no doubt that Bode put as much energy into worrying about Ry as he did about me. We have always stuck to the understanding that she comes first. We made that pact the day my parents left this earth.
“I understand, Bode, but come on. You can't expect me to be fine with her losing it like that. The one thing we have always done is protect Ry, no matter what. Give me the abbreviated version, the highlights, something. Please.”
The war in his mind is evident in his eyes and I know what he is thinking. Ry comes first. Ryan, the last fucker to forget that, was immediately excised from her life, and ours, with a one hundred percent no return policy.
Bode is trying to decide what is best for her, telling me the truth or protecting her by protecting me. I would be the same if I were in his shoes, so I shouldn't blame him. Regardless, both my pain tolerance and my patience are waning and I want answers.
“OK, brother. Only for Ry and only the highlights. We still need to see if the rest will come back on its own. And don’t you dare tell Ry; she will have my fucking balls for this.” We both laugh because it is true. If she finds out that he didn’t follow the doctor’s orders to the letter, she will kill him. She is fierce when she gets in protective mode—scares the hell out of me.
The highlights include the fact Ry is or was dating again. Some crazy person has been texting and threatening her. There were a few incidents prior to my accident, but this was the first actual act of violence. The threats are always aimed at the people in her life and not Ry, so that’s some relief. Bode told me about Austin and I do vaguely remember meeting him, although I am shocked that Ry would date another quarterback after the Ryan disaster. Looks like my sister has a type.
As I digest the information I begin to understand why Ry is taking the blame for this, but I am one hundred percent sure she shouldn’t be. It infuriates me that someone is messing with my sister’s life. Ry is a sweetheart, even if she lets no one close enough to know. I love that girl with all I have. I will be damned if we will allow some fucktard to mess with her. Over my dead body. Or in this case, my nearly dead body. It is probably best to keep that thought from Ry. I don’t think she would find it funny.
With the new information, I ask Bode to keep an eye on Ry. I know they have an officer on her at all times, but I would feel better if someone who loves her is nearby. She is not great with strangers, so it will put my mind at ease for him to stay with her. Lord knows I am not going anywhere.
“You know I will. Either Eric or I have been with her around the clock since your accident and Austin comes by daily, even though she refuses to acknowledge his presence.” Good to know that Eric and Bode were there for her when I couldn’t be.
Just before Bode hits the door, I ask for one more favor. “Could you ask Austin to come by and see me later? I am beat right now, but I would like to talk to him.”
I need to know where Austin stands in this mess. If he wants to be with my sister, then he had better come and face me. I cannot stomach the idea of another man hurting her the way her ex-fiancé did. That was unacceptable. Austin’s intentions had better be pure.
“No problem, man. I’m sure he would like to talk to you. He loves Ry like crazy, and it’s got to suck being in his shoes about now.”
I can’t help chuckling. “No kidding. Ry is as stubborn as a mule. Poor guy. Just have him come by and you distract Ry if you have to. And thanks, man. Thanks for being here through all this.”
He nods. “Anytime, brother, that’s what family is for. Now get some rest, I got her for now. You take care of you.”
As the door closes and I am left to ponder the strange events of the past hour - hell, the past ten days - I am at a loss. I wish I could remember all the details. I know there is a lot more to the story than anyone is telling me. Maybe a little time and rest will bring it back?
I assume I will be speaking to the detective at some point. Maybe he will shed some light on all this crap. It is a strange thing to have someone else describe moments of your life to you, but I will take anything I can get right now.
Trying to put my mind at ease I shift in the bed, upsetting the rest of my broken body. Is there really no relief from this damn pain? I have never been one to take drugs of any sort, but in this moment I am desperate for relief. The coma may have been preferable to this state.
I press the red button on the side of my bed to buzz the nurses’ station. I am greeted by a sweet voice.
“Yes Mister Ash what can I do for you?”
Clearing my throat, hoping I don’t sound too needy, I ask, “Is there anything I can take for this pain?”
Like music to my ears I am met with a “Yes, sir. I will be right there.”
Moments later, nurse Michelle enters the room and plunges a syringe of pain relief into my IV. In a flash I am drifting off into what I hope is a dreamless and pain-free sleep.
Chapter 6
Rylee
From the moment, Jeremy woke up until now my overwhelming emotion has been joy. Happiness, elation, walking on cloud nine - all describe my relieved state. The moment Jeremy awoke was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Just knowing that I would not go through the rest of my life without hearing his voice or seeing him smile brought me to tears. I was ecstatic. I am ecstatic.
Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) Page 3