I stand looking out over the city, taking in the day’s events, when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Every time that thing goes off my stomach twists with fear of the constant shadow in my life.
Unknown: I am glad to see u will finally be alone. We can be together now
Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. With Bode leaving and Austin already gone, I will be alone much more frequently. I am sure Eric will be around, but unfortunately his girlfriend Jen does not like him hanging out with us. I wish he would just be done with her already.
The thought of being alone sends a shiver down my spine, so I make my way back down to J’s room in search of familiar faces. I plaster a smile on my face before entering the room so I don’t alert either of them to my sudden distress. I will talk to Ruzek about the text and see what we can arrange.
After an hour of joking around and meandering down memory lane, Bode gets up to leave. He pulls me in for a big hug and I fit perfectly beneath his shoulder and against his chest.
“Are you sure you will be OK being alone? I hate that Austin left too, but I talked to Ruzek and he said somebody would be with you at all times.”
I don’t know why I am surprised he has already spoken to the detective; these boys always look out for me. I squeeze him tightly, holding on to the person who has provided me refuge in recent weeks.
“I will be fine, Bode. Go rule the waves. I will call you if I need you, I promise. Same rules as always, though; you have to call me once a week and let me know how things are. I want to know how the competitions go.”
He pulls back from me with a sad smile and shakes his head. “Sure, same rules as always. I will text and call you like I always do. Take care of J and let me know how everything is. It may be a few months before I get back, unless you need me before then. I love you, Rylee. Stay safe.”
He squeezes me into his body and I breathe him in. Saying goodbye to Bode always hurts because I fear for his safety even though he is the best at what he does. This time saying goodbye is even harder, since this is the longest stretch he has spent at home in years.
“I love you too, Bode. Stay safe out there and come back in one piece, please.”
It hurts my heart to watch him go, but I know he has to. I hope that, with a little time away, he will realize he is not in love with me and we can go back to the way things were. I am not sure I could bear the thought of anything else, so that is what I will hold on to for now.
Chapter 16
Rylee
After Bode left yesterday, J and I watched crappy television and I attempted to get some work done. It is abundantly clear that J is ready to bid the hospital farewell. He is bitchy and always a little on edge. I try to roll with the punches, hoping he will be back to his old self once he is released.
We haven’t talked about much other than sports and the weather. We are both avoiding the elephant in the room. Ruzek has not been by in two days and we are all on edge. We on the verge of leaving the relative safety of the hospital and we have no plan in place. This maniac struck out of nowhere last time and I do not want any of us to be caught off guard again.
I wanted to go out and pick up a decent breakfast, but J said it wouldn’t be a wise move. I know he is right, but two weeks of being cooped up in here is starting to drive me crazy. I know he feels the same way. Luckily, I will be leaving in three days for New York and, if all goes well, J will be with me.
After lunch, J and I are watching an absurd reality show when a light knock sounds at the door. Dr. Bowen enters. He has a smile on his face and seems to sense the tension in the room when he addresses us both.
“Jeremy, Rylee, how are you today? You look like you could use some good news.”
The prospect of good news shifts both of our moods immediately. God, I hope he tells us J will be released and can travel back to New York with me on Wednesday. Dr. Bowen towers over J’s hospital bed and scribbles something on his medical chart.
“How are you feeling today, Jeremy? Any new pain, anything worse or better than yesterday?”
Jeremy replies, “No, I’m feeling pretty good. I would give anything to get out of this bed a little more often though.”
That sounds about right, but I also doubt he would tell the doctor if anything were wrong. He wants out of here like yesterday.
Dr. Bowen looks J over a final time and then takes a seat in the chair next to his bed. His posture is relaxed, much more so than the last few times he has sat down to deliver news about J. I hope that is a good sign.
“So, Jeremy, here is what I am thinking. I want to see how you do with the physical therapy today and then, if all goes well, I will release you tomorrow. However, we have to set up your therapy at home as well. Are you planning to go back to New York or will you be staying here with your sister?”
J glances over with indecision awash in his features. I nod, knowing exactly what he is thinking. We are going to New York this week, but we have made no decisions beyond the few days I will be in town. J won’t be able to get around on his own for a few weeks. We could hire a nurse or something, but I would rather stay with him. Being separated from everyone with all that is going on scares me, but it might be safer for J to stay in New York and away from me.
Dr. Bowen senses our indecision before looking at both of us.
“Well, you need to decide what you want to do. I cannot release you until we have a solid plan lined up. If you need me, the nurses’ station can get a hold of me anytime. I want to get you out of here. I think it will speed your recovery to be somewhere you are more comfortable.”
We thank the doctor as he stands to leave the room and promise to have a plan by the end of the day.
J turns to me and addresses the obvious question.
“So what do you think we should do?”
I shrug, trying to think through all of our options. I cannot expect J to go to New York and then come back to Boston with me; the travel would be too hard on him. However, I cannot stay in New York much past the draft, because I will be drowning in work and contract negotiations. I don’t like what I come up with, but I’m sure it is what’s best for J.
“Well, big bro, I think we will have to hire you a naughty nurse.” I try to add levity to the somber conversation.
He looks at me before he busts out laughing. “I could appreciate that joke from one of the guys, but from you it seems wrong.”
I join his laughter, knowing the absurdity of my joke but replying in all seriousness. “Well, you don’t think I’m going to bathe you, do you? I love you to death, J, but that is where I am drawing the line.”
His stops laughing and looks at me with complete understanding.
“Yeah, you’re right, we are definitely not going down that road. Naughty nurse it is. I do have one request, though,” he says with an evil smirk. I doubt I want to hear the request, but I ask anyway with a raise of my eyebrows. “I want Eric to hire the nurse. If we are going the naughty route, I don’t want my sister picking her out.”
He falls into a fit of laughter. Well, I’m glad to see that my brother has found his humor. I just shake my head.
“I will see what I can do. But I doubt Jen will go for that.”
The mention of Jen kills all of our lighthearted fun immediately, and we silently agree to leave that subject be. I steer us back to the original question.
“Well, I know you cannot travel back and forth with me. So the real question is, where do you want to hole up and heal?”
He seems to ponder the question for a few minutes before finally looking at me. “I don’t know, Ry. I would like to go home, but I don’t want you being all alone when you come back from New York either. Although in New York, I would have access to the team trainers and physicians for therapy. What do you think?”
He makes an excellent point about the trainers and physicians, which makes my mind up for me.
“You have to go home, J. It would be best for you and your recovery there. Hopefully the rest of this crap will
be over with by the time I get back anyway.”
I can tell he doesn’t like the idea, but he agrees that is the best decision. Right now, the only choice for him is to go home and heal. He will be miserable until he is back to normal and he has a long road ahead of him.
Still trying to rationalize our decision, he asks, “So when will Austin be back?”
I wish I knew the answer to that question. Hell, I wish I could talk to him.
“I’m not sure, J, and since we can’t talk, I don’t know his plans.”
He seems ready to say something else when Ruzek appears at the door smiling. At least the visitors seem to bear good news today.
Chapter 17
Rylee
Ruzek comes strolling into the room with a cat ate the canary grin on his face. His short blond hair is styled in that messy way and his dark green eyes are alight with pleasure. He is dressed in his usual casual wear of dark jeans, form-fitting gray t-shirt and black work boots.
I look at him and he smiles triumphantly.
“So what has you so chipper this morning, Detective?” I ask with a hint of playful sarcasm.
He ignores my question and looks to J. “How are you feeling today, Mr. Ash?”
J answers with the perfunctory, “I’m all right. Been better, but could be worse.”
Ruzek moves the chair from next to J’s bed over between us so he can easily see us both. Then he seems to think better of it.
“Oh sorry, do you mind if I move this?”
We chuckle. “No, by all means go ahead.”
He seems embarrassed by his obvious comfort level with us, but takes a seat after closing the door to the room. He leans back and crosses one leg over the other in what feels like an attempt to stall before he finally breaks the strange silence in the room.
“So would you guys rather have the good news, or the not so good news first?”
He gives me a small wink and I am not sure what to make of it. I say, “Not so good” at the same time J says, “Good news, please.”
He looks to us both and I nod, giving J the priority here. He is in a hospital bed after all. “OK, so the good news is that Austin had an idea.”
OK, I am sure that happens from time to time, but I fail to see how that qualifies as good news. Then Ruzek stands up and pulls two brand new smartphones from his back pocket.
“Here you are, Rylee, and here you go, Mr. Ash,” he says as he passes them across the room.
J looks at me in confusion before speaking up, as if I have the answer to the mystery prizes.
“One, please stop calling me Mr. Ash. If you can call her Rylee, then you can call me Jeremy.” Ruzek nods. “Two, what do new cell phones have to do with Austin and good news?”
Ruzek sits back down before he explains. “As you both know, we are trying to limit communication between the three of you in an effort to figure out where Rylee’s stalker is getting his information. Austin called me yesterday from an unknown number to see if you guys could use burner phones to keep in contact with one another.”
I silently wonder what number Austin could have called from, but I guess it could be his mom or sister’s cell number. Really, I couldn't care less. The truth is I am ecstatic I will finally get to talk to him. I look expectantly at Ruzek.
“So this means I can talk to Austin,” I say with an absurd amount of giddiness in my voice. Goodnight Rylee, stop acting like a teenage girl with your first crush – it’s embarrassing.
Ruzek eyes me with humor in his eyes. “Yes, this means you can call him when we are done here.”
I suddenly feel like I am receiving permission to talk on the phone from my parents, not that I have any idea what that would feel like. Our parents never knew what we were doing, or even cared for that matter. Either way, I am excited. I hold the phone in my hand and swipe to unlock the screen, only to see a picture of Austin and me staring back. Now I really can’t help the girly smile on my face. Ruzek notices my reaction with a slight shake of the head.
“There are a few rules to go with these phones,” he tells us. “You cannot talk to anyone on them, text or otherwise, besides each other, Austin and myself.”
He stops to assess our reactions. J looks confounded by the development and I couldn’t care less. I would agree to just about anything to be able to talk to Austin at this point. Convinced we are onboard with rule one, he continues.
“You will need to keep your other phones active for all other communications and you cannot use the new phones inside Rylee’s house. As far as we know, J, your house should be fine, but we will run a sweep before you go home. Oh, and do not use them in any of Rylee’s vehicles, and that includes any of yours that she has access to, J.”
By the time he finishes laying down all the rules, I have an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Why can’t we use the phones in anything I own?
J has the same question. “Why all the restrictions? Is there something we should know?”
Ruzek takes a deep breath, and it is obvious he is ready to deliver the not so good news.
“There are listening devices in both Rylee and Austin’s houses. We only found them on the first floor and in obvious locations, signaling that whoever planted them was in a hurry and definitely not a pro. There was also one in the Jeep you drive, Rylee, and one of the other cars. We did not remove any of them in hopes we can use them to our advantage.”
I try to process the new information. It is hard to believe someone has gone to so much trouble to spy on me. I feel completely violated. However, I still have one remaining question,
“If the devices are in my house and car, why can’t I use my old phone and just stay away from the bugs? It has never been out of my sight long enough for someone to tap it.”
Ruzek looks at me with compassion swimming through his features. “I am sure it hasn’t, but we suspect he installed spy software on it from afar and uses that to monitor all activity on your phone. One of our techs is here and, with your permission, I would like him to check.”
I stand up, pull my old phone from my pocket and hand it to him. Ruzek walks back out the door and I turn to Jeremy in a state of utter disbelief.
“Can you believe this shit? Are we living in a James Bond movie or something?”
He looks at me with a hint of sadness. “I don’t know, Ry, but it scares me. All we can do is hope Ruzek is able to use this to their advantage like he said.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes and I try to wrap my mind around all the information. I am about to stand up and leave the room when Ruzek reenters. The pity in his eyes tells me this will not be good news.
“It is, as we suspected, running spy software in the background.”
Jesus. What’s next? Car chases and leaps from a helicopter? It doesn’t get any more 007 than that. This whole situation is fucking crazy and I am sick to death of it.
Ruzek looks between my brother and me, seemingly unsure how to proceed. “Have you decided how you will handle Jeremy’s discharge?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Jeremy yawn and notice how exhausted he looks. I decide Ruzek and I should take this conversation elsewhere.
“Ruzek, why don’t we go get a bite to eat? Then we can discuss this further,” I say adamantly.
He nods and I turn to J. “Would you like me to bring you some decent food when I return?”
He quickly replies in the affirmative.
“No problem, I will be back in an hour or so,” I say walking out of the door.
Chapter 18
Austin
Holy fuck. I remember now why I never come home. My mother has been praying for my soul since I walked in the house. She says she saw the little tart I am involved with on the sports show. I had to bite my tongue in an effort not to lash out at her over disrespecting Ry. It would do no good.
My mother is a proper woman and religious to a fault. I grew up Catholic with all the standard religious rules. However, I never felt the faith the way she does. I am not say
ing I do not believe, I just have a hard time believing in the rules - especially the ones she forced down my throat for years.
My college scholarship saved my life. It gave me a chance to play ball and, most importantly, gave me a way out of my mother’s suffocating house. I don’t remember my mom being as overbearing when my dad was around, but we saw him for the last time when I was eleven.
After my father left, my mom seemed to hate all things male, including me. It didn’t matter how hard I tried - be it at school, sports, or being her son - I was never good enough for her. As I got older, I stopped caring about her opinion of me, seeing I could do no right.
I was never a bad kid per se, I just did what most normal teenagers do. Unfortunately, I ended up one of the statistics.
I dated Amanda through my sophomore and junior years of high school. It wasn’t until the summer before our senior year that things went wayward.
Amanda and I hung out constantly and, thanks to her absentee parents, we were alone more than two horny teenagers ever should be. We did what most red-blooded American kids do; we had sex, and tons of it.
It was late July when Amanda showed up at our local hangout bawling her eyes out. ‘We became a statistic,’ she told me. What she meant was she was pregnant. That’s when the shit hit the fan.
We had no real options, considering neither of us was eighteen yet. We were forced to tell our parents and I promised Amanda that I would stay by her side no matter what. That proved to be impossible once all the parents were involved.
Amanda’s parents banned her from seeing me and sent her off to a school for unwed mothers. They were rich and active in local politics. Apparently a pregnant teenage daughter would cause problems at the polls for her father.
My mother said nothing for a few weeks, but when she did it was awful. She told me I was the worst excuse for a son she could have ever had. She forced me to go to church and copy scripture at night into a notebook so that I would wake up and see the light.
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