by S. W. Frank
Suddenly, he looked down and the residual nightmare dissolved into a content chuckle. Allie lay with her tiny face on his stomach, breathing like all children do from the diaphragm. She was clad in her, what else, pony PJ’s with her short arms clutching at his waist. The smile broadened, shit, he missed this…he missed his family…these moments were the most precious. He twist his head to peer at Selange, who was pressed against his side, one arm across his chest and he laughed. These were his beautiful brown jewels which he cherished like a man who’d discovered the rarest gem. Thank goodness, he put on his boxers during the night or else Allie might have found him lying naked like Selange in unabashed shame.
Alfonzo had an urge to pee, and slid sideways from the bed, placing the child down gently on the mattress as he tugged free from Selange’s clutching hand. Christ, he made it to the bathroom and stood there aiming in the toilet bowl. Like a hose under pressure he began to empty his bladder. Man, did the release feel good, but not as good as last night’s wild romp with his wife. They screwed in almost every position imaginable and even made up a few of their own in the process. He’d conked out and awakened briefly to the sounds of even wilder love-making. He grinned. Nico’s ex-wife managed to prove there’s no soundproof walls to contain screams of passion. He supposed the man was fucking the hell out of the woman to make up for all the shit he’s done in the past. He had to have something to soften the blow after yesterday’s drama and a cono culo caliente was just the thing.
Selange wasn’t happy when he told her Ariana and the boy was coming here. Oh, her face was priceless. “Let them stay at your place Alfonzo,” she pled.
He could not grant her supplication. This property had more fortifications than the other residence. He spent loads of money on surveillance equipment, bulletproof windows and fire retardant walls and flooring. There was also a panic room in the sub-basement. Only he, Selange, Sal and Anita knew it existed. It’s also where he stored a cache of weapons, emergency supplies, video-monitoring of the entire interior and exterior, along with non-perishables to withstand six months or more of any form of attack.
Many people had fall-out shelters in the event of a catastrophe. This was his version of emergency preparedness. He planned to go with Nico and this was the safest place for their families until they returned.
Arms slipped around his waist. He knew who they belonged to. Who else would dare interrupt a man taking a long overdue pee?
Her head leaned on his upper back and he smiled, aware of her nakedness pressing against his flesh. “Ummm morning sweetheart,” she yawned, “It is so good having you home again honey.”
He absorbed the intimacy of the moment. The two of them, albeit as he urinated, yet it’s the quiet and the fact they were at peace which warmed his heart. It was a welcome reprieve before the external storm. The chaos was coming. The gut had spoken.
Selange’s hands were moving over his tatted skin and lips feathered the nape of his neck with whispered musical endearments. He wanted to hold her and shook off, tucked away his penis then turned within her feminine embrace. He’d been thinking and the words came out in a wistful tone. “You love the opera, yet we haven’t gone since our first date.”
“It’s okay.”
His eyebrow rose, “You saw a future in teaching and you quit to be home with our kids.”
“Alfonzo,” she breathed in the sourness of his words, “where are you going with this?”
“You sacrificed a lot, didn’t you?”
“No, I haven’t sacrificed enough.”
There was a sad smile on the sexy male mouth, “Babe, this isn’t the life you saw for yourself and I’m not the man you wanted in your private dreams. We got thrown together by a tragic circumstance and you realized you mistook gratitude for love and that’s why you ran to Nico. You wanted love.”
“Stop it, don’t do the distancing crap. I’ve always loved you, after last night how can you doubt it? You’re my lovely dream and passionate joy.”
He put his forehead to hers. His eyes forcing her to understand, “I’ve got the feds on my ass. I have a long trial coming up soon, there might be repercussions boomeranging my way after something Geo’s done. Babe, I should’ve let you go before you took that first bullet intended for me. I forgave you this with Nico because I know the sacrifices you made and forgiving you was a repayment of a debt. But, I’m letting you go Selange right now. Take the kids, start a new life; do the teaching thing, go to the opera, find yourself an artist or a musician and let him make you smile. I want you and the kids to have a carefree life without this violence. I want you guys safe and happy and with me there’s no guarantee.”
“Oh, no, -ah –ah! You’re not backing out. We come from the real world remember? Where on earth am I any safer than with you? I can go to a movie with this hypothetical artist and die at the hands of a gunman, or sit at work and have a terrorist crash a plane into the office building. Hell, I can walk down the street or sit in the playground with my kids and catch a stray bullet. I may not have a choice of how and when I die Alfonzo, but I do have a choice on who I love.”
“Yeah, but with someone else in another profession you don’t have to live with the bodyguards, the court trials and harassment by police.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t go through hell and get you back to go through torment for a second time. Fuck an artist or musician. Neither Nico nor anyone can make me stop loving you. I swear if you try to leave me Alfonzo I’m stalking you like a crazy psycho.”
He chuckled, “Geez, that’s scary.”
“I’m serious. I love you. I’ll teach if it makes you feel better, but dammit Alfonzo I can’t stop loving you. I got it, honey, I have everything I need with you, I just stumbled honey, I’m not going to trip again, I swear.”
“Oh, babe, I can’t forgive another misstep. This was your only pass. I gave you an out and if you’re in, it’s a no refund situation. We go forward with an iron-clad understanding. Trust and loyalty is what we need from here on. We have four children to rear and it’ll require unity to do that and fend off all the other stuff coming our way. If we’re not mentally and emotionally in sync, anybody can come between us. Look, I’ll lessen the drinking and I’ll take you to the opera.” He pulled an ugly face, “Although, hell, the shit was awful, but I’ll take you and suffer, we’ll make love in the rain. I’ll make it my business to make you smile as long as I know you’re with me without any reservations and won’t cut me open again.”
Her gaze was unflinching and her declaration a forceful reply, “I’m with you, in your corner, by your side, your lover, your friend until the end…” her eyes were beginning to tear, “until this life is over.”
He gripped her tight, breathing in her hair, “Damn, though babe, I’ve got more drama in my life than a crack-house full of junkies. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t having second thoughts.”
“No, doubts. My head’s on straight. I know with you is where I want to be…”
She stroked his busted lip. It was a small cut, not severe, but a reminder of all the cuts and scrapes they survived together. The car chases, shootings, an affair, a divorce; a whole lot of shit and look at them. They were two kids up and right back in each other’s arms. Their love potent and strong. How many couples can survive all of that? There’s no doubt where she wanted to be, “I’m in love with you wholeheartedly and loyally at your side.”
“I won’t forgive again Selange, I’m warning you babe.”
“And neither will I honey.”
Alfonzo chuckled. The drunken private parties were a thing of the past. “Okay, we’re both on notice. We go forward as one unit.”
“Damn straight and honey, when you do this thing with Nico, don’t do anything reckless. Keep us in mind and remember we’re here waiting.”
His mouth suddenly silenced her and he hoist her up to his stomach, holding her legs around his waist. He moved fast. Alfonzo was a man on a pillar of fire. He kicked the door shut, t
hen carried her to the counter and yanked down his boxers. The damn woman leaned back, spreading wide for him and his fingers dug into her soft thighs pulling her forward for immediate access. The beauty smiled, looking down at him in expectation. The veins on his penis stretched like branches from the root of a thick tree to the head before he inserted into her and the branches throbbed. He did not let her recline, instead, he held her spine, ran his tongue over her breasts and simultaneously rolled his pelvis, pushing and pulling with such a sensual rhythm she flowed and it failed to cool his heat.
Selange clung to his neck under the rapid motions. She could feel every part of his swollen penis, touching and kissing her as if it was the first time they’d met. Hot damn, she licked her lips, held the hard shoulders and sucked in air as he kept her torso firmly upright. She crossed her ankles and pressed against the base of his back as he lift and pushed repetitively inside her body to speak to her heart. He conveyed his love and she pushed back, joining in the conversation and screaming with her lips undying love. She lulled forward to suckle his neck, leaving strawberry marks and branding him for others to see.
Alfonzo’s thoughts flitted to the dream. Not a pleasant slumber, but a nightmare. His hands traveled in firm strokes up and down her spine. His muscles protruded as he mentally battled with the nightmare, thrusting harder, gripping hold of Selange’s body because everything about her represented life. He ground his teeth under the image stealing his pleasure and repositioned her from the counter to the floor to distract it. The images ran through him with such intensity he groaned in frustration willing it out. He could not speak this nightmare to Selange; she’d cry and beg him to stay. He’d seen death and it was clinging to him, damn it had its clutches in so deep, he held on to Selange with all his strength, afraid to let her go for fear it’d claim him right there in the conjugal act.
Nails dug into his skin and Selange’s soothing voice resounded through the bloody hell. Geez, this woman was a soul savior and a great weakness. She was the only woman with the ability to soften him emotionally and the only weapon capable of bringing him spiritual death. Every muscle constricted. His black hair shone like ebony glass and he realized his skin shimmered from the sweat.
Selange lay on the circular carpet, her shoulders pinned by his hands, her legs quivering. He withdrew and flopped to the floor on his back with ragged breaths.
“What’s wrong Alfonzo, where’d you go?”
He scoffed and moved his head a fraction to view her profile. It’s amazing how well she tapped into the subtle mood swings he tried desperately to hide. They were in tune like the blending of a note. He closed his eyes to clear his head then opened them again, “I was thinking about Nico’s kid. I hope he’s okay.” He answered partly in truth.
“You guys will find him. I know you will. You found Shanda, remember?”
“We were lucky.”
“You’ll be lucky again.”
He reached over and pulled her to his chest then noticed the intermingling of fluids on his rod was tinged with red. He grew concerned, “Babe, did I hurt you?”
“What? No.”
He frowned as he looked down and she followed his gaze, saw the reason for his distress and giggled, “Oh crap, you summoned my period.”
The statement registered in his mixed-up brain and he smirked, “I guess so.”
“Every time there’s blood honey it doesn’t always mean pain.”
****
Maria looked up at her handsome son. He was dressed in casual wear and not his usual finely tailored suit. This morning she saw sadness in his eyes, a man with heaviness on his heart. She rose from the bathroom floor, lifting Angelina from the baby tub and Alfonzo handed her the towel from the rack. Maria wrapped the infant in the fluffy cotton then dried the small neck and arms. She smiled at Alfonzo and extended her arms with his daughter, “Here, hold Angelina, hijo. Feel the miracle you’ve made.”
He lovingly brought the silent baby to his chest and closed his eyes and she wondered where his mind went adrift. Alfonzo was always a serious boy. Rebellious at times and very mature for his age. She gazed at her son. He was a good father and beneath the abrasive exterior lie a good man.
He was going with Nico this morning. Hunting, they said. She did not reach for her rosary beads; God would not condone her thoughts. The sins of her life had filtered to her son and she had run from them to religion and left a boy to battle the earthly world alone. God forgives many sins and she prayed he forgave her this one. Today, she chose to give hope to her son. His blue eyes opened and they were the most brilliant blue oceans she’d seen once before. Those were the eyes of Luzo and thinking of his love struck an invisible blow. She could no longer protect Alfonzo, he fought to be good and become the son she wanted. Yet, each time he did, devils roared through his abode. He could not disrobe or shed who he was just as she could not stop loving him.
“She’s precious, isn’t she?” Maria began.
“Sí.”
“She has your feisty spirit and Selange’s beauty, hijo. See, how calm she is in your arms. You are fire and Selange is the light which comes from the heated flames. Angelina is the product of a thermal combustion between the two of you.” Maria said then touched her son with a loving hand, “If you have forgiven Selange, do not use her frailty to beat her down with it. She has repent, yet what you do not see is the guilt she carries every day in the pit of her soul. As a woman and a mother I plead for her like she is my daughter because I have watched her hijo and know she loves you, and what she did is wrong and she knows it now, but guilt can be a solitary prison. It has taken me many years to release the shame and guilt of sleeping with a married man. From it came my precious gift, which is you. The gift you have in your arms is a sign that your destiny lies with Selange. Angelina and Vincent are products of a love so strong no outside force could move it. To forgive is a sign of compassion and you will find Selange’s devotion to you now will become your strength. She will hold you in the highest esteem and will never hurt you again. There is fire in her, and you will see it flame for her children and her man against anyone who threatens to take it away. She has lost a mother and I stand in her place. I fight for her because I am her, hijo, except she is stronger than I was and she did not run from her shame. She faced everyone down and although she is being vilified by many, your loving actions are all that matter, do you understand son?”
“Sí.” Alfonzo answered as he continued to rub Angelina’s small arms. This was his daughter and Vincent was his son. They were his blessings. His mother was right about that.
“You know, hijo. Your father had many good qualities. He was not an evil man. He may have done evil things but to those he loved he was gentle and kind, like you. When I think of him, I can say with honesty, I did love him and if not for our circumstances would have married him and been with him at the end of his days.”
Alfonzo listened. This was the first time his mother said anything kind about his father and to hear these platitudes removed the demonization of Luzo Palazzo from his mind and made him human. He gently swayed with his daughter and unlike the wailing he was accustomed to when he visited, she lay quietly in his arms, dozing.
Alfonzo noticed the tears coming to his mother’s eyes and he brought his arm around her shoulders and clasped her to his side. He held them, his mother and new daughter and found peace in a new beginning. “Mama, I love you. I thank you for giving me life.” Then he kissed the top of her perfectly coiffed hair and smiled, “Selange is lucky to have you in her corner and so am I.”
She rubbed her son’s back, “When you go today, go knowing you are loved and your family stands by you.”
“Sí, mama.”
Maria spoke with a mother’s love for her child, “I will not lose you again. You must be your father’s son and do what’s necessary to survive this world, but do not glorify in the killing if it must be done. Be swift in the slaying but do not invoke unnecessary suffering. Maintain your humanity and in the fi
nal hours of your life, there may come mercy for your soul.”
Alfonzo’s eyes softened at his mother’s words. They came at a time he needed hope and permeated the depths of his torment which released its hold. He understood her message and in her eyes shone unconditional love. She’d never spoken to him this way. Usually, she lectured about his life-style or chastised him for something or other, yet today, she spoke with the sagacity of a tribal elder. Many years of polite civility transitioned to a newfound respect. “Yes, mama.”
Maria put out her arms for her precious grandchild, “Give her to me now. I will be here until you return. Go, there’s a father downstairs. He is worried. He needs you to help bring home his son.”
CHAPTER SIX
New York City’s upper west side was clamoring with people, even on a Sunday morning. Visitor’s streamed in and out. You’d think on a Sunday the tendency would be to rest, but not New Yorker’s. They were busy most of the time because many couldn’t handle sitting and doing nothing. They didn’t like their own company. A collective hyper-activity disorder from living in a stress filled environment, the laid back security guard deduced. On the island of Jamaica, you didn’t have this nervous energy circling, instead many people were smiling because they lived on a tropical island and stress free.
The security guard stood, took the bathroom key and went on a urinal break. He’d gone down the hall past the elevators and once he was out of sight, a pair of visitors entered the lobby.
The men weren’t impressed by the swanky interior. It resembled many of the other buildings along Central Park; the only thing different was the names and addresses. The exorbitant rents were around the same and anyone foolish to buy the shoebox condos worth millions deserved to live encased like roaches.
One man took up the position of look-out as the other went behind the security desk to check through the video monitoring system. When he saw the old surveillance TV he chuckled, “Hey Mike, I ‘aint seen one of these since I was a kid.”