by Jane Anthony
“You’re important to me.”
“Important? We’ve been together nearly half a year, and I have yet to meet your daughter. I told myself that it’s because you’re new to dating, but I’ve been kidding myself all along. It’s because your heart already belonged to someone else.” The truth slices deep, leaving an oozing gash on my pride. “You need to figure out what you want, love. When you do, maybe I’ll still be waiting.” His lips meet my cheek, and before I can protest, he’s gone.
I slip my foot out of my other shoe and wrench the high heel still dangling from Kade’s fingers as I pass. “You had no right to do that.”
“He’s not the guy for you, Ainsley,” he calls as I stomp up the staircase.
I turn and look down at him, furious at my own pulse for reacting to his cocky grin. “Maybe not. But neither are you.”
CHAPTER 25
Kade
I ALWAYS MANAGE to piss her off. I’m so damned good at it. She’s sitting at the table alone, looking like a feral cat about to scratch my eyes out. Perhaps I overstepped a boundary by kissing her, but fuck that. It was the only way to get her to shut up. The rapid-fire beating of her heart told me everything I already know. This isn’t over for either of us.
Do I feel guilty about running the guy off? Not one fuckin’ bit. Yeah, I’m an arrogant ass, and I don’t give two shits about it. She doesn’t belong with him; she belongs to me. I just need to make her see it.
Banger and Jen are leaving for their honeymoon in the morning, and the guys are going to head back to California. Shortly after, they’ll scatter to their respective families for the holidays. That’s usually when I get the most work done, but something tells me I won’t be able to string together two sentences after this trip.
The night wears thin, and I see Ainsley circulate the room. I stay where I am next to the bar, pretending to have a blast, when really I’ve been nursing the same skeleton-filled Crown and Coke for the last hour. Her hips sway to the beat of my heart as she comes toward me. I down my drink and slide the glass to the edge of the bar. “Can I have a water please?” she says as the bartender approaches.
“Water, huh? I almost forgot how much of a party animal you are.” She glares at me through brown slits but doesn’t say a word. The morbid ice clinks against the edge of the glass as she tilts the water to her lips. I watch her throat move as she swallows, and my mouth becomes bone dry. “Silent treatment. Mature.”
Her brow arches as I remove the glass from her hand and take a sip. “I’m not giving you the silent treatment. I just have nothing to add to the conversation.”
I love this side of her. Her icy glare, her trembling lips, the gentle flare of her nostrils. Anger and sex go hand in hand. They are the only two emotions that tear us open enough to remind us we’re alive. “What do you want me to say, sweets?”
“How about I’m sorry? I know a Kade Black apology is like the equivalent of finding Bigfoot, but maybe just this once, you can admit to being a selfish asshole and take blame when you’ve done something wrong.” A rosy flush grows on her cheeks. She is seething with anger, and I’m so turned on I can barely see straight.
Pushing her hair back with both hands, I rest them on her shoulders and bend to her level, nose to nose. “I’m sorry about Dundee, but I’m not going to apologize for the way I feel about you.” The pissed off inferno within her soulful brown eyes dissipates into a minuscule candle flame. “If lovin’ you is wrong, baby, I don’t wanna be right.” I flash my million-dollar grin and stand to my full height again.
Rolling her eyes, she leans against the bar in a huff. “Were you this much of an arrogant ass last year?”
“Probably more. You level me out.”
She takes another sip of her water. Her brows crinkle together, and she winces as the coldness slides down her throat. “I can’t win with you, can I?”
“Nope,” I say with a grin. “By the way, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t leaving.” There is nothing for me in California. Just an enormous house full of empty rooms. I have everything I’ll ever need there, but without someone to help fill the space, it’s all bullshit.
“We’ve been through this.”
I shrug. “Yeah and? We can’t do any work on the album until Banger gets back from Hawaii anyway. What’s wrong with wanting to spend more time with you?”
She rolls her eyes and leans her elbows on the bar behind her. I try not to notice the way her tits press against her dress and instead concentrate on her attempt to hide her excitement at the notion that I’m sticking around. “You really want this, Kade?” Her hands skim across her waist and rest on her hips.
“Fuck yes, I do,” I groan.
“Well, this . . .” Her hands leave her hips, and circle the air in front of her. “ . . . comes with a nine-year-old daughter, a vindictive ex-husband, and a New Jersey area code. You think about that long and hard, buddy. I’m going home.”
“I don’t have to think about it. I’m sure about it.”
Her mouth opens then closes as an onslaught of emotions roll over her face. “Ains, we’re heading out to the bar at the hotel. You coming or what?” Jenny calls out, cutting through the tension and inadvertently taking Ainsley off the hook.
Ainsley glances toward her friend then back at me. “Yeah, I’ll follow you guys over.” She walks away, leaving me standing at the bar with my heart in my hands like a total loser.
“Ainsley!” I call after her, persistent as ever.
She stops halfway and glances over her shoulder, her lips curling into the most dazzling come-hither grin I’ve ever seen. “You coming?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely!”
CHAPTER 26
Ainsley
I’M DREAMING. I think. In those early morning hours, while you’re wavering between sleep and awake, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. Twilight dreaming, my mother used to call it. I’ve had this dream at least a dozen times. I roll over in bed and feel him next to me. His body is warm and strong. I cuddle into the nook of his shoulder, a spot that fits me so well I’m sure I was made for it. It’s my favorite dream. It even beats out the sexy ones, although it’s close.
A low deep sigh rumbles against my cheek and fingers slide through my hair. Muscles ripple under my hand. My lashes flutter, but my eyes stay closed. I’m not dreaming. I’m in my bed, but I’m not alone.
“Good morning, sweets,” Kade says in a thick and gravelly baritone.
“Hey.” Somewhere between the wedding and the after party, I forgot all about how angry I was at Kade’s impulsive behavior. I got a little tipsy, and he ended up driving me home in my car. “Waking up next to you after one too many drinks is starting to become a bad habit.” His rich laugh vibrates in his chest as I stretch out next to him.
Back then, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, but right now, I never want to leave this bed. His arms wrap around me, and my icy façade melts against the warmness of his body.
“You’re right. This is way more comfortable than your couch.”
I manage a sleepy smile and breathe a laugh out of my nose. “You wouldn’t have fit on my couch, Paul Bunyan.” While that is the absolute truth, I didn’t want him on the couch. I wanted him here with me. It totally goes against his badass image, but Kade is the best cuddler ever. He’s so much bigger than I am. His body practically consumes mine every time we embrace.
“Anytime you wanna see my big blue ox, Tinkerbell, you just let me know.”
We lie there for a little while longer in our twilight haze. He needs to get back to his hotel before Shay gets home, but I’m too comfortable to move.
Nuzzling against his chest, I bask in his spicy scent one last time then push myself up to sitting. Kade looks at me through sleepy blue slits. Those sexy as hell hooded bedroom eyes make my soul quiver. “I forgot how beautiful you are in the morning.”
Oh, he’s good. I can guarantee my hair rivals Medusa’s in the front and is probably flat in the back. I als
o have no recollection of removing my makeup. I’m sure I look like an extra on the Walking Dead. “Yeah, my Frankie Says Relax T-shirt is a real turn-on, I’m sure.”
“I feel relaxed.”
He slides his hand under his head, and the muscles in his arm strain and flex under the thick webs of his tattoos. I was doing an excellent job of not checking him out until now.
Somehow, during the night, he broke my co-sleeping rule—that we both remain dressed—and discarded his tank top. His generous frame fills my queen-sized bed, making it look much smaller than it is. His body is a glorious display of peaks and valleys, covered with splashes of deep onyx. Once upon a time, I played Magellan along the vast landscape, discovering him like new exotic lands; every rippling muscle more exciting than the one before it.
I tear my gaze away and stand, stretching to the sky before disappearing into the bathroom. I gasp at my reflection. Beautiful, my ass. He wakes up in the morning like a Grecian God, and I look like Beetlejuice. I wash my face and brush my teeth then search the vanity for a tie to tame the beast that is my hair. Appeased that I halfway resemble a living human again, I open the door, stricken with sadness when I see my bed empty.
His tank is on again, and he’s back in his signature dark jeans, having changed when we got to the hotel last night. He was handsome in the tux, but it doesn’t suit him. He’s a basic guy. Sexy in jeans and a tee. “I’ll head downstairs so you can change.” He lets himself out the door and closes it behind him. I pull on skinny jeans and a clean V-neck tee before joining him downstairs.
Glancing at the watch on my wrist, my eyes go wide. We slept so late. I can’t risk leaving now; Shay will be back any minute. This isn’t ideal. Bob walking in on Kade and me in bed together last year was bad enough, but I am adamant about sheltering my daughter from meeting men until it’s something serious. Kade’s presence here is too temporary. She doesn’t need that kind of confusion. She’s had enough of that already.
Kade stands at the end of the island with his hand resting on the smooth black granite where my back once laid. Seeing him there causes a dull pang between my thighs. I push the memory out of my mind immediately. Thinking of the past could only complicate things. “Are you in a rush to get back?”
He turns when I enter the room. “Nope. What’s on your mind?”
“Well.” I can feel the blush on my cheeks. My shaky hands start measuring out grounds as I speak. I’m nervous and I’m not exactly sure why. “Bob said he’s dropping off Shay around ten. Which is now . . .” I trail off as tap water splashes into the carafe.
“That’s fine.”
I pour the water into the machine and turn to face him. “I mean, if that’s too weird, I can probably just call Bob and tell him to come later. I know meeting my kid isn’t high on your list of priorities or anything.” Whenever I’m nervous, I ramble. It’s a habit I can’t seem to shake even though I’m a grown adult. The shy girl in me always rears her ugly head whenever my self-confidence takes a hit, regardless of how minor. Standing in my kitchen with Kade this close to me is not only messing with my hormones, but my mind as well.
My body tenses as I feel him approach and press against me just enough as he grabs two mugs from the shelf behind my head and sets them on the counter. “I can’t wait to meet her.” The possessive way he grips my hip turns my dull pang into a throbbing ache. When his thumb finds its way under my shirt and grazes the skin just above my jeans, my heart skips a beat. I swallow hard, trying my best to ignore the heat in his stare.
The shuffling at the front door is a welcome break from the awkwardness of the moment. Our slumber party has caused weirdness in our newfound friendship. Last night was light and friendly, but this morning, you can cut the tension with a knife. The set of his jaw tells me he feels it too. I think we both liked it a little too much. “Wait here.”
“Hey, Mommy!” Shay runs into the house, wrapping her arms around my middle. I smooth back the thick blond curtain that always seems to hang in her face. It’s amazing to me how I can love someone so much who so closely resembles someone I hate.
I push the door closed only to have it bounce open again as Bob walks in behind her. It drives me nuts that he just walks in here as if he still lives here, but without his financial help, Shay and I wouldn’t be able to keep the house. I don’t have much of a leg to stand on. “Oh, sorry. Thank you again for being open to switching weekends with me. It was a huge help.”
He drops her bag on the bench and hovers in the doorway. “Well, one of us had to be a parent.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? I went to a wedding, not Woodstock.” I feel my face get hot. Bob always manages to push my buttons, even when I’m trying to be nice. I don’t understand why he’s so hostile toward me all the time. He left me. If anything, I should be the one pissing vinegar every time he comes around.
“A wedding that took you away from your daughter on Halloween. Maybe someday, you’ll stop making Jenny a priority and start being a mother.”
I hate when he acts this way, but I loathe it when he does it in front of our daughter. I feel like scratching his eyes out, but I just stand there with my arms crossed over my chest, deflecting his nasty comment. Stooping to his level isn’t going to help matters. “Whatever, Bob,” I say through gritted teeth. I grab the door and hold it open for him. “Thanks for dropping Shay off. You know the way out.” He scowls, grumbling under his breath as he walks out.
He’s always looking for a fight, but he won’t get one from me. Keeping my cool when he tries to pull the rug out from me only burns him up more. Why exert the energy to fight back when pissing him off is this easy?
Bob isn’t someone who’s easy to talk to. I can’t remember if he was always that way, or if somewhere along the line, he just evolved into this intellectual elitist who was never wrong. Arguing with him is like running on a Stairmaster. It wastes so much breath, but ultimately, it never goes anywhere. It doesn’t matter if I have charts and scientific evidence to back up my claims, Bob will never admit when he’s wrong, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll never let Bob get the best of me ever again.
CHAPTER 27
Kade
HEARING THAT MOTHERFUCKER use that tone on her makes my blood boil. I beat his ass once, and I’ll gladly do it again, but for now, I sit tight and listen, sipping my coffee and hoping Doctor Douchebag doesn’t give me a reason to walk out there. When Ainsley shoots his ass right down, I smile. Good for her.
Footsteps echo on the hardwood floor and get louder as they approach the kitchen. Ainsley comes in with the cutest little Cabbage Patch Doll right at her heels. Her golden hair cuts across her forehead in a thick wave that highlights her enormous brown eyes. Ainsley’s eyes. My heart flutters in my chest. She is just as gorgeous as her mother.
“Hey there.” I try to keep my voice gentle. I can only imagine what I must look like to her. Most kids look at me like I’m Frankenstein.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t be shy.” Ainsley squats down to her daughter’s level. “Shay, this is mommy’s friend, Mr. Black. What do we do when we meet new people?”
The kid eyes her mother like she’s a mental patient, but she takes a step forward and extends her hand. “Hi, Mr. Black, I’m Shay. It’s nice to meet you.”
Holy crap, that is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
I take her tiny hand in mine and shake it. It’s like a doll hand compared to my bear paw. “Hi, Shay. It’s nice to meet you, too, but you can call me Kade if it’s okay with your mom.”
Shay looks at her mom for approval, and Ainsley nods. She goes to the fridge, grabs a mini carton of milk, and climbs up on the stool next to me. “I’ve seen you before. My mom has pictures of you.” Her teensy fingers tear at the carton but can’t seem to get it open.
“I might have a few pictures of your mom lying around too.” I wink. “May I?” I take the carton from her hands, bending the flimsy cardboard back and forth until the lip pops open. She s
miles, showing off an adorable row of gappy white Chiclets I bet drive her perfectionist father crazy.
Ainsley pours herself some coffee then comes around to the other side of the island in front of us, leaning forward on her forearms and holding the mug between her petite hands. It’s not until she lifts it to her lips that I notice the bleeding black diamond on the front. “Shay, did Daddy make you breakfast?”
Shay shrugs and sips her milk. “I had a Snickers bar.” I can’t help but snort even though it’s not my place. Her dad blows as a human being and a dentist. Who lets a kid eat candy for breakfast?
Ainsley rolls her eyes. She’s thinking the same thing I am, apparently. “A Snickers bar isn’t breakfast.” She walks to the fridge and tugs the heavy door open. “You want some eggs or something?”
“Gross, no.” Shay wrinkles up her nose and knots her little mouth. Her flaxen ponytail flies back and forth with her exaggerated headshake. “Can we go to Dunkin Donuts?”
“No, you’re going to overdose on sugar.” Ainsley lets the fridge door close and goes to the pantry instead. Boxes of noodles shake like maracas and glass bottles ding against each other as she rifles through the shelves. “This is useless. I have to take Kade somewhere anyway. Why don’t we just stop at the diner on our way back?”
“Yes!” Shay jumps off the stool and throws her milk in the trashcan. “Can Kade come with us?” She slides around the tile floor in her socks like an excited little Chihuahua.
“Maybe next time. I’m sure he has plenty of other things to do today.”
What things? I’m supposed to be on a flight home right now, but I’m blowing off everything to hang out in the suburbs. It seems so absurd, but waking up with her this morning was like seeing the ocean for the first time. It was powerful and magnetic. I pulled her in like the tide and held her close.