by Jane Anthony
By the time the game is over, Ainsley is so electrified she’s practically glowing. The Devils win, and she’s still buzzing with excitement all the way back to her house. We pull into her driveway, but neither of us moves from the car. “Why are you really here?” she asks after a short while.
I turn to look at her in the dark. The lights from the dash illuminate her face, highlighting her cheekbones with a delicate glow. A halo of untamed curls slipped from her messy ponytail and coil sporadically around her hairline. I’ve always found her beautiful, but I’ve never seen her quite like this. She captivates me. “I told you, sweets. I’m here for you.”
Her gaze drops to her lap, and her mouth turns down. “But you can have your pick of any woman you want.”
That may be true, but none of them makes me feel the way she does. Women have been throwing themselves at me since I was still living on the base, but when the band took off, the pussy was unstoppable. I lived in whiskey-fueled, hard rock excess for more years than I care to admit. Women were a disposable commodity, a means to an end, and a nice way to satisfy the itch. Ainsley is different. I don’t just want her in my bed; I want her in my life. My finger catches under her chin and her eyes meet mine. “The only one I want is you.”
“And Misti Rain.” Her lashes flutter, blinking back tears I see building in her dark eyes.
“Misti Rain and I are friends. I never touched her,” I reply, taken aback by her comment. Has she been holding on to this the whole time?
“You know what? It doesn’t matter,” she says, shaking her head. “I’ve worked too hard, and I finally have my life together. Taking this step back would be illogical.”
“Forget logic. What’s in your heart?”
She doesn’t answer. She just looks away, eyes fixed on the yellow glow of the headlights highlighting the garage door in front of us. “Don’t look away. Look at me,” I demand, bringing her face back toward mine. “Can’t you see I’m crazy about you?” She swallows hard but still doesn’t speak. “You have to know that, Ainsley. I’ve been crazy about you since the day you walked into that fucking banquet hall.”
My thumb runs across her cheek and up over her ear. She leans into my hand, nuzzling her soft skin against my rough palm. The movement is subtle, an intimate gesture that shows she may be hearing what I’m trying to say with far too many words. I write for a living, but staring into the eyes of the woman who holds my heart, I’m at a complete loss. “I know you feel the same way, Ainsley. I can see it in your eyes, the way they shine like the sun when you look at me. You’re holding me at arm’s length because you’re afraid to get hurt.”
“Seeing you with her tore my heart from my chest, Kade!” She jerks her face away, sitting forward and throwing her shields back up.
“And you think seeing you with him was easy for me? You forced me to go! You needed space to get your shit together! I gave it to you.” The blood simmers under the surface of my skin as she continues to stare out the window. She’s so goddamned stubborn.
“I just . . . expected you sooner.”
When her eyes snap to mine, I see what I’ve been looking for. That swirling mixture of love and lust, fear and anger. A montage of feelings that culminate our messed-up relationship rolling across her face as I cup the nape of her neck and pull her mouth to mine. Her tongue brushes my lips. I follow her lead, breathing her in, her soft moan filling my lungs and undoing any restraint I was desperately attempting to maintain. “Invite me in, Ainsley,” I growl.
“Come in,” she says, trailing kisses across my face and down my neck. “Come in my house, come in my bed, come in me.”
Her words light me on fire. “Once I get you in that bed, sweets, I’m not holding anything back.” My fingers tangle in her hair, jerking her head back and biting her neck as a warning. It elicits a sharp cry that makes my dick jump to attention.
“I’m counting on it,” she whispers breathlessly. Her hands fist my hair and bring my face to hers, crushing our lips together in a furious frenzy and melting away her self-control. It’s hungry and feral, the kind of kiss that rips you apart and puts you back together again all twisted and crooked. It’s pouring out of her. The emotion—the fire, the lust, the longing, all the feelings she’d bottled up and tried to ignore—comes rushing out from her lips and fingertips, in a scalding, biting kiss that completely takes me over.
The soft feel of her body, the taste of her mouth, and the smell of her perfume in the confined space turn me into a man possessed. I grab her rough—too rough—and drag her over the console onto my lap. Ainsley moans, not put off by the harsh move one bit. She grinds her hips, pressing herself against me and biting my ear, still fisting my hair like a madwoman.
I pull open the button on her skinny jeans and wiggle my hand inside. The second my finger grazes her sweet little cunt she slams back on the steering wheel. The horn bounces off the garage doors ahead and echoes into the night. She shifts again to silence it, causing a fraction of space between us just large enough for me to slip my finger past her lips and push inside. “Fuck, baby, you’re soaked,” I groan.
The idea of pulling myself away from her long enough to get inside the house is agonizing. For a split second, I consider having my way with her right here in the car, but the idea leaves my head as quickly as it entered. This isn’t the time for a quickie. When I finally get her upstairs, I’m going to destroy her, and I’m not going to stop until she’s a sticky, screaming mess.
“Make me come,” she whines. “Don’t tease me.” Her eyes jam shut as she searches out my lips, devouring them as my fingers dip in and out, each time drawing the wetness up to circle her clit before diving back in again. Urgent moans vibrate against my mouth. She bucks and bites and rides my hand hard. Tremors ripple through her. Her head falls back, exposing her creamy neck as all her muscles tighten and squeeze the life out of my hand. Another horn blast rips into the quiet night, but all I hear is the keening cry ripping from her lungs as she comes apart.
“Out of the car, Ainsley. Now,” I growl, flinging the door open and practically pushing her off my lap. She flies out of the car and doesn’t wait for me as she unlocks the door.
I’m behind her in an instant, taking her in my arms and throwing her over my shoulder with a smack on her ass. “Kade!” she squeals and kicks her legs as her feet leave the ground. That tiny taste of her only made me more ravenous. I need to hear her scream again, to feel her body go rigid then slack in my arms over and over.
This cat and mouse game has lasted long enough.
Kicking open the bedroom door, I fumble for the lights in the dark then hurl her onto the bed like a side of beef. We tear at each other’s clothes, eagerly undressing like horny teenagers getting laid for the first time.
Every moment we’ve been apart, I’ve fantasized about this. Thoughts of sinking into her deep and hard, feeling her shatter around me until she can’t think straight, have kept me awake at night. But here we are, and I’m the one who can’t get a grip on my own thoughts.
Tearing my mouth away, I sit up on my knees. I have to slow down. The spinning in my head rivals the throbbing of my cock, and if I don’t relax, I’m going to end up finishing way too fast. Can’t have that. No, what I have planned is going to take all night.
She looks up at me from the bed, chewing on her lips and tracing the thick outline in my shorts with blazing eyes. I can’t say I blame her. He’s quite impressive. Women are either usually fascinated or frightened by the enormity of it, but he and Ainsley are well acquainted.
“What are you waiting for?”
A deep growl rumbles in my chest as the light scratch of her fingernail trails from base to tip. She’s toying with me and loving every second of it. “I know what you want, baby. But first, I’m gonna lick that sweet pussy until you’re begging to have me inside you.”
I taste her skin from neck to navel, and notice for the first time since I got her clothes off that her panties match her bra. My lips curl into a de
vious smile. Matching lingerie is a clear-cut sign: she expected this.
The lacy fabric is drenched with her arousal. I peel it off her hips and bring the tiny scrap to my face, inhaling the sweet smell of nectar, salt, and citrus all mingled with the scent of her hair, skin, and sweat. It’s intoxicating and heady in all the best ways, and I’m starved for it.
Licking my lips, I drop my mouth between her legs. Her back bows, and the throaty satisfied sound she makes nearly rips me in two. I groan against her, close to coming in my boxer briefs from her taste and the view of her bared open in front of me. My tongue swirls inside her as I spread her wide with my thumbs, slow at first, relishing every whimper, every mewl that’s uttered from her incredible lips.
“ . . . Kade . . . oh, my God . . . your mouth . . . uuhhh . . . Harderharderharder . . .” Her words jumble together in one long, ragged sentence. She’s hot and wet, gyrating against my face as my finger pierces her decadent flesh again. Her body sucks it in, clenching tight as a fist. So fucking tight. My cock pulses with the anticipation of plunging into her, feeling her constrict around it, but my mouth is too greedy.
“ . . . so fucking sweet . . .”
I tease her swollen clit; tonguing it, sucking it, nipping it with my lips until my name falls from her mouth in thick raspy gasps. Her legs clamp around my head and her hands tear at my hair, damn near pulling it out in giant clumps, but I don’t want to stop. She’s pure sugar. I could eat her out for days and never get enough.
“Kade. . . . please . . .” Her breathy plea turns my already hard dick to molten rock.
“Please what?” I say, adding a second finger and crooking them both deep inside her. A flush creeps across her skin in a gorgeous shade of pink, and her dark eyes flare like two orbs of smoldering charcoal.
“Please fuck me.”
CHAPTER 30
Ainsley
THIS SHOULDN’T BE happening, but blinding need makes it hard to think. Partly because I came so hard the earth stopped rotating, but mostly because Kade is the one who made it happen. Consequences be damned, this feels too damn good to stop.
I’m dying inside. Torn in half by Kade’s mouth and hands. The taste of myself on his tongue drives me mad, and I just want more. I need more.
He stalls at my opening. I grasp the firm muscles of his ass in a desperate attempt to pull him in, but he holds firm, teasing my cleft with just the tip as he rains an avalanche of kisses down my neck and chest in the most loving manner possible. “I need to hear you say it, Ainsley. Tell me I’m the only man you want.”
“Only you, Kade. It’s only ever been you.” At least, I think that’s what I said. My words come out breathy and incoherent as I allow myself to fall under his spell, giving in to temptation and begging him to take me. I have no idea what tomorrow has in store for us, but right now, it’s him and me and this delirious thirst hanging between us that will never be fully quenched.
It’s all so familiar. The feel of him pressed between my legs, giving me just a taste, and prolonging the moment until I’m trembling with need. He penetrates me in one slow stretching thrust. The delicious bite of pain from his size and strength causes me to cry out from the utter perfection of it. Tomorrow, I’ll be sore. Every move I make will be a reminder of where he’s been and how good it was. The steady rhythm of his pelvis moves in time with the cadence of my beating heart.
“Fuck, sweets, I’m broken. You shatter me; you own me.”
Dirty talk is nothing new, but this is more than I can handle. I expected a savage animal. A hard bestial pounding that would render me senseless, making me lose myself in the mindless pleasure only he knows how to give. But I find myself lost in his eyes and the possessive feeling of his arms holding me. Each languid thrust pushes to the surface all the feelings I’d buried deep inside.
I feel born again. My skin is charged with energy so profound I can hear it humming all around me. I’m putty in Kade’s hands. A ragdoll, soft and pliant, easily controlled and manipulated. He sits up on his knees. Strong arms snake around my back, holding me effortlessly as my fingers clench around his bicep steadying myself on his lap. His hot mouth attacks my breast, flicking my nipple with his tongue and causing it to pebble to an agonizing point before closing his teeth around it.
The pleasure grips hold of my insides and works its way around me like a vine. My world explodes with a cannon shot of bold colorful lightning. I bounce hard on the bed, realizing only then that he’s dropped me as I writhe and pant through the most brilliant eruption of my life.
Kade’s hand slams against the mattress as he falls forward. I feel his body go rigid. “ . . . I love hearing you scream . . .” he grinds out through ragged, urgent breaths.
Satisfaction rolls over me in giant waves of ecstasy, rippling up my spine and drowning me in his embrace as the sound of his voice fucks my ear.
I whimper as he removes himself from me, my oversensitive body feeling the emptiness immediately. Then . . .
The cuddles.
Tears well in my eyes the second his big body lovingly curls around mine. I missed this. His hugs, his kisses, his warmth, his love. All of it. I spent so long pushing him away, and for what? He loves me. We may not have a future, but we have right now, and maybe that’s enough.
***
The room is pitch black as I rub the sleep from my eyes. Kade’s side of the bed is empty. A pang of abandonment hits me in the chest. The fear that he left the moment I fell asleep causes me to sit straight up. Relief washes over me as my eyes adjust to the dark, and I see his clothes are still on the floor. But the sheets are so cold, my curiosity gets the best of me. Slipping out of bed, I wrap myself in a blanket and pad down the stairs.
A single light shining from my dining room draws me in, but seeing him stops me in my tracks. His head rests in his large hand. Thick tufts of black hair poke haphazardly through his long fingers. The elegant curve of his back showcases every sturdy muscle, and his broad shoulder ripples as his forearm glides over the dark wood.
I take a few tentative steps forward, careful not to make a sound and spook the magnificent creature hunched over my table. His body becomes still, and a deep hum fills the quiet house. It’s melodic and graceful. It pulls me in closer, until the humming stops and his arm starts its furious pace over. Over his shoulder, I spot a corner of white and realize he’s writing. Line after line of scrawling blue ink fills the page in front of him in handwriting that’s as wild and chaotic as he is.
Unwilling to disturb his process, I turn to retreat back to my room, but he lifts his head and catches me before I can make a quick escape. “Did I wake you?”
The sound of his voice brings me back. The bright light from above creates an angelic effect, making him look almost ghostly. His tattoos appear gray, and his brilliant blue irises shine against his whited-out skin. He reaches for me, and for a moment, I’m afraid. Going to him now would tug the tiny thread of restraint I have left, sealing me to him forever and sending my soul along with him when he returns to his life. But turning away from him isn’t something I’m capable of doing twice.
My fingers thread with his as he pulls me into the space between his legs. “No, you didn’t wake me,” I say, pushing the hair off his forehead. His eyes drift closed, his long lashes casting a shadow over the tiny freckles on his cheekbones. My thumb caresses the dark eyebrows that frame his gorgeous eyes and skims down the straight slope of his nose. It traces the outline of his mouth, dipping into the perfect Cupid’s bow I love so much, and circles around under his plump bottom lip, finally coming to rest on his angular jaw. The day-old stubble is a reminder that he’s all man, but hiding just beneath the surface is a strange boy-like feature you wouldn’t normally see unless he’s let his guard down enough to show it.
His eyes flutter open. Wild curls bounce down my back and over my bare shoulders when he pulls out the band that was holding my tresses at bay. His hand glides down my messy tendrils past the line of my neck and disappears inside the b
lanket. Chills break out on my skin as his fingertips roll down my bare back. Lips sweep over my collarbone and up my neck soft and slow.
Every encounter we’ve had was hurried and intense. We usually tear into each other in a frenzied rush, clawing and biting in a sweaty mass of slapping skin on skin. This is something completely different. We explore each other with our hands and mouths, enjoying one another instead of racing to climax like animals. This slow-paced, erotic intimacy is unexpected and satisfying in a way I never dreamed possible.
He lifts me in his arms and carries me upstairs. The view of the sky through my bedroom window changes from black to blue as the sun begins to rise. My hands roam his torso, reading every peak and valley of his chest and stomach like braille, committing them to memory and savoring the feel of his warmth under my trembling palms.
Light sluices through the blinds, adding a third dimension to the tattoos that run the length of his arms and pecs, bold swirling patterns shrouded in darkness against smooth skin. His body isn’t just beautiful; it’s a work of art.
Nagging thoughts of him with other women float from the recesses of my mind. The angel on one shoulder is cooing in post-coital bliss, but that nasty little devil on the other keeps telling me that rock stars are notorious for sleeping around. “How are we gonna do this, Kade?”
He rolls over and sits up on the edge of the bed. “We’ll make it work.”
I sit up under the sheet, pulling my knees to my chest. Last night was amazing and surreal. Having a normal life with Kade by my side would be my greatest fantasy, but I’m too much of a realist to hold onto the hope of that. It’s a fairy tale, and fairy tales aren’t real.
Jealousy still sits in my gut like a third person in the room. Kade’s a good man, but my heart is still too brittle to be able to handle a guy like him. I’ll always be wondering what he’s doing in California, and who he’s doing it with. I can’t help it. Bob’s affair has jaded me to the point of no return. “But your life is three thousand miles away.”