by Nikki Roman
I was standing at the swings, when I saw Bailey ahead of me on the monkey bars. I had pushed the empty swing for a while, not realizing she hadn’t been in it. My mind had been a few steps behind that day because I had taken some tabs of LSD. I had yet to come fully down from my trip.
I followed Bailey around the playground until she was tired and bored. She asked me to take her home. We both went to the tree that Alana was perched in and tried to convince her to come down.
“Come up!” Alana said to Bailey. “You can see the whole park up here! I can see people playing tennis!”
“No, I’m too scared. I want to go home. Come down,” Bailey whined.
“Alana, please come down. You two can play Monopoly at home, isn’t that your favorite game?” I reasoned with her. But there was no reasoning with seven year old Alana, she was as strong willed as a monk who’d taken a vow of silence.
“Mommy,” Bailey said tugging on my hand. “Make her come down! Make her!”
I could see a tantrum coming on and I was not about to let that happen. “Alana, now. Come down!”
“No, I won’t! The ground is made of lava, it will burn me!”
“It’s just ground!” Bailey screamed, bursting into tears. She had been sick all week with a terrible head cold, and I could tell she was overheated. She needed to be at home resting, not playing in the park.
I reached for Alana, waved my hands for her to jump into my arms. Maybe, I thought, if I can make it seem like a game, she will play along. “Jump ‘Lana! I’ll catch you!” I said, in my voice reserved for talking to toddlers.
“Nooo,” she wailed. “I’m safe here in the trees!”
At that moment, I reached for her but she leaned back and out of anger I pulled her arm. Realizing, I had grabbed another woman’s child, I immediately let go and she fell.
Bailey saw. She saw me pull Alana, but didn’t say anything about it. I drove Alana to the hospital where I met her mother Janni. I told her what happened, omitting the part where I grabbed Alana and made her fall.
I thought Alana would be too young to tell her mother the truth. But the very next day Janni called and said Alana couldn’t have play dates with Bailey anymore.
It took months, but eventually Janni’s anger broke and she allowed the two girls to play with each other again. But Alana always kept her distance from me after that; she stopped greeting me with hugs and kisses.
However, in my nightmare Alana does not cry with a broken arm. When she falls from the tree I don’t pick her up and rush her to my car. She is fifteen, as if she ages in her descent to the ground.
Bailey is there too, screaming that she is on fire from the ground made of lava; I stay where I’m at, in front of Alana’s feet, watching flames eat at her skin and hair. Then Alana, lying with her eyes wide open like the wind has been knocked out of her, moves her lips slowly parting them only a little to say, “I am safe here, in the trees.”
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38