Mr. Ruin

by Maya Hughes

  “Don’t try me, sweetheart. I know you want this as much as I do. Don’t make me make you beg. I know how much you hate it,” he said, giving me a look that flooded me even more. One nip on my breast and I was spreading myself open for him. The sound of my own wetness was the only thing I could hear over our heavy breathing. He pumped his fingers into me, adding more, so I was teetering on the edge of pain. But he kept going, letting me adjust. Always making sure I was ready, but not too ready.

  His belt buckle jangled as he pressed himself into me. His cock sent shivers of pure bliss radiating through my body.

  “So wet,” he groaned. I felt him everywhere. I’d never been so full. Every time with him was like the first. He stretched me and hammered into me. I cried out, but the sound got caught in my throat as he pounded into me. The carpet rubbed against my back. I knew I was getting a rug burn, but right then, I didn’t care.

  I didn’t want to be anything more than the pleasure he gave me and the pain I could inflict on him. I dug my nails into his back and he groaned, staring down at me. A smile twisted his lips and I knew he liked it. He liked giving as well as he got. He redoubled his efforts and without even touching my clit, he set me off.

  I screamed, my body arching off the floor. Screaming his name and coming apart at the seams. Completely destroyed. But he didn’t stop. He’d never been one to stop before he got everything he wanted. I was so sensitive, on the razor’s edge of painful and ecstasy.

  “You broke my rule, sweetheart,” he said, nipping his way along my neck.

  “Please, please,” I begged. I didn’t even know what for. For him to stop or for him to keep going. I didn’t know. He lifted me. Carried me into the bedroom, still embedded inside me. Still pumping me up and down on his cock as smaller aftershocks made me tremble and moan. My back slid along the cool bedspread.

  I hated him. I hated him so much and myself for allowing this to happen. Even as my legs trembled and my eyes rolled back in my head. I couldn’t stop.

  “Are you ready, baby?” he asked, but he didn’t wait for a response. He spun me around, putting me on my hands and knees. My arms collapsed under me and he slid his arm under my body, between my breasts and up to my neck. His hand wrapped around my neck tight enough to hold me up. I could barely breathe, but continued pushing back against him.

  He placed kisses on my shoulders. The tenderness I didn’t want from him before he drove into me, making my toes curl, and I screamed again. I screamed out my lust for him. My love for him that he killed. And my anger that burned so brightly. For everything he’d done to destroy my life.

  My screams died in an orgasm so strong, I blacked out. The room winked in and out as his body tightened against mine and he whispered in my ear. I couldn’t even make out his words, I was so far gone. Another orgasm ripped the breath from my lungs and I felt him swell before coming.

  He collapsed on top of me before rolling onto his side, still inside me as he held me against his chest. The strong arms I’d enjoyed so many nights when I shouldn’t have were like anchors holding me down. I pushed on his arms, trying to get him to let me go. To get him off me. I rolled away. He reached for me.

  “Rachel, do I need to show you again just how hard it is for you to deny me? I’m more than happy to go another couple of rounds, if you give me a few minutes to recover. I like whatever got into you tonight, sweetheart. You need to bring that every time we’re together.”

  And I couldn’t deny him. His touch set me ablaze, a churning cauldron of longing that threatened to boil over, destroying everything in its path and it had—me. Every command, every demand, every stolen moment left me gasping for air, afraid I’d never be able to breathe again.

  But now that the haze cleared, the sexual spell he put me under, that I allowed myself to be put under, I saw what I really was and who he’d made me into. I was weak, so weak I hadn’t been able to resist him. That was my shame to bare. No one to blame but myself as the orgasmic high careened back to earth.

  An ugly pain unfurled inside of me and I winced as I stood. The rug burn on my back smarting with each step. A sob caught in my throat.

  “He knows now, Rachel. There’s nothing to hide. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy yourself. Haven’t been enjoying yourself. You may have thought you were doing this for Rhys, but I know the truth,” he said, sitting up in the bed. His eyes were intense, staring into me with a cocky smile on his lips. My chest tightened.

  He was getting everything he wanted. Everything he planned. I’d helped him while betraying someone who’d taken a chance on me and I’d ruined everything. So many people would be devastated by whatever Killian had planned. I’d ruined the life I tried to build for myself. I glanced up, tears in my eyes, and the smile slid off his face.

  “I let you use me,” I said, more an accusation at myself than at him. He didn’t give a shit about me. He used me and I let him. I deserved this and I’d have to face the consequences.

  “Rachel,” he said, leaning forward, trying to catch my hand. I pushed away from him, trembling. I stared down at the evidence of our torrid tryst on my thighs and I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. Ragged sobs burst free from my chest. I raced out of the room, grabbed my clothes from the living room floor, dashing into the hallway bathroom.

  I slammed the door behind me and slid down the door, clutching my knees to my chest. I buried my head in my knees, tears pouring down my cheeks, and let the waves of regret crash over me. I needed to remember this moment. Remember who I allowed into my heart and into my bed. I jumped at the thumping of Killian’s fist around the door. Perfect timing.

  “Rachel, come on. So what if you got fired. You can always come work for me. I’ve seen how much you can do. Being an assistant is so much less than you’re destined for. But you can have so much more with me. Come work for me. We can do this together,” he said, through the door. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he had that carefree smile plastered on his face. The one that said he didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought. The one that made the flapping wings in my stomach beat a little bit faster, but not now. I’d wanted to be like him so much.

  To not care what other people thought.

  To finally forge my own path away from the life I’d been born into.

  To prove myself.

  All I’d done was prove my parents right. It would have been safer if I’d stayed home. Listened to them and joined my father at the office, or even my mom at the foundation. But I’d been stubborn. So stubborn, and now I’d have to go crawling back. All those people in the hospitals. Organizations that could have used Rhys’s help. I’d failed them. All of them, because I couldn’t think straight about Killian Thorne.

  I wiped the tears from my face and wiped my nose on the back of my hand. I stared at myself in the mirror. My red ringed eyes staring back at me. The clothes I couldn’t wait to get out of only a little while ago lay crumpled on the floor. I quickly threw them on. Shoving my arms and legs into them like they were at fault for what happened. Stupid clothes, just falling off for a man who wanted nothing more than my body and what he could get out of me.

  I braced my hand on the door, the cold metal centering me. Cold and hard. That was what I needed to be. I channeled Killian as I swung the door open. His bright blue eyes, the color of the ocean in some far away destination that you wanted to dive into before you even got to your room. His eyes were wide and he didn’t have the shit-eating grin I thought he would. He stared back at me before turning it back on.

  “Rachel, just calm down,” he said, his charm ratcheted up to eleven. He stood there, his cock swinging in the wind like it didn’t matter one bit that he was trying to reason with me while completely naked. I just glared at him and pushed past, searching for my bag. It peeked out from under the couch and I knelt to tug it free.

  Killian’s shadow fell over me as he stood beside me. I glanced up and came face to face, well cock, with the one piece of him I’d come to love and hate. Loved it for how i
t made me feel and hated for how weak it made me. The rest of him, I completely hated. I glared and stomped to the door. His heavy footfalls behind me as I tried to ignore him.

  “Be reasonable,” he said as I pulled the door open. His hand caught it and he pushed it closed. I refused to turn around. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want him to know he’d won. He warned me the first time we met that he’d get what he wanted and more. Why hadn’t I believed him? Why hadn’t I run the other way and never looked back? Because I never backed down from a challenge. It was why I was in the city in the first place. I thought I could chart my own course, but I’d never come up against someone as formidable as him.

  He slid his hand along my neck, and I flinched. He pushed my hair aside, exposing my skin to him. “Why are you denying what’s between us? Are you going to run back to Rhys and beg for forgiveness?” he whispered against my neck. I could hear it. His smirk. He didn’t give a shit about me. For some reason, I thought he did. He told me over and over what this was to him and I didn’t want to believe him. Joke’s on me.

  His body heat radiated off him, and even through my clothes I could feel his hard, muscled body. The flutters that showed up whenever he was near me were back, but the tingly feeling I got before was dead. It was like an automatic response. I’d confused my body’s reaction to his beauty for something else. Something real. But this wasn’t real. He wasn’t real and even I wasn’t real. I’d been pretending for so long. I liked to think this was my real life, but I’d run away from that. It was time to go back. I rested my forehead against the door.

  “Just let me go, Killian,” I said, the fight and fire gone. I’d have to run back home just like they said I would. I turned the handle and tugged on the door, but he wouldn’t let it budge.

  “I don’t want to let you go,” he said, his lips dangerously close to my skin. The hairs on my neck stood up. “We’re not done,” he said, plastering his wet lips on my skin. Everything was focused on that spot. My body hyperaware of his erection digging into my back and his hands trying to work their way under my shirt. I threw my elbows back, right into his stomach. He let out a whoosh of air as I turned around.

  “I’m done. I’m finished with whatever this thing it is we have going on. You used me and I let you, but I’m done,” I said, as fiercely as I could. I blew out a deep breath, the prickle of tears in the backs of my eyes. I would not cry in front of him.

  “We’re not done until I say we’re done, sweetheart,” he said, the lazy smile back. His perfect white teeth on full display. He stroked his already hard cock and out of reflex I glanced down. “You can’t resist me Rachel, and I don’t want you to go. Come back to bed and I’ll make you forget all about it,” he said, turning back to the bed like I was just being a silly child. Like I didn’t have my own mind and would be cock-mitized by him. Maybe that was true before but not now.

  “I’m done.”

  28

  KILLIAN

  I whipped back around as the door slammed. Stunned. That was the only way I could describe it. She’d left. I didn’t think she had it in her. I saw the way she looked at me. The way she cried out my name and came on my fingers and my cock over and over again. The run in with Rhys might have taken things a bit too far, but I couldn’t let her get me off track. Couldn’t let her get in the way of the plans I had for her boss. She was only supposed to be a perk in my ultimate plot. And somewhere along the way, things changed. The things I wanted from her weren’t just in bed and that pissed me off.

  I sat on the edge of the bed, throwing my jeans on. I grabbed a bottle from the bar and poured myself a glass of scotch. I wasn’t going to run after her like some love-sick schoolboy. I didn’t bend for anyone. I wasn’t going to bend to her. She’d be back. They always came back and when she did I’d have to decide if I would take her back. I toyed with that idea for less than a minute. Of course, I’d take her back, but maybe I’d make her work for it.

  She’d come back.

  I waited for a few days until I sent my first text, sure that this would go like the other times before, but she didn’t respond. I sent another and another, still nothing.

  She didn’t come back. Someone else arrived on my doorstep. A box of their shit in hand.

  “Dad.”

  “Killian,” he said, glancing past me, like I wasn’t even there.

  “I told you not to come.”

  “Since when do I listen to you?” he asked, barging into my apartment.

  San Quentin Correctional Facility stamped across the front of the box, he dropped it onto my table right on top of the final acquisition papers for the company. The thought of sharing the same space with him made me sick to my stomach. I thought back to my mom’s letter and swallowed back all the anger I had. I could do this for her.

  “Nice place you’ve got here. I’m glad to see you’ve done well for yourself. Looks like some of me rubbed off on you after all.” He wandered around my apartment, scrutinizing the place. I clenched and unclenched my fists.

  “Where’s the toilet?”

  I pointed to the door off the living room. I tilted the box to get my paperwork from underneath and the box fell apart. The bottom came completely open. Perfect. I shoved the stuff that toppled out back inside. Some books, magazines, an old Rolex. A letter slid off the table and floated to the floor. I picked up the envelope and immediately recognized my mother’s handwriting. I traced my fingers along the slanted, looping lines.

  I took the folded piece of paper out of the envelope. It wasn’t until I had trouble following the lines that I realized my hands trembled so hard that I sat down.

  Steven,

  By the time you read this, I’ll be one more skeleton in your closet. I thought the worst thing in my life would have been your disappearance, but I was wrong. It hurts so much more now that you’re back. You’ve used me and destroyed me. The only silver lining in ever meeting you is Killian. He’s the brightest light in my life, but even he’s not enough to save me from the waves threatening to drown me.

  I’m not strong enough to withstand this. To live with myself and how I allowed myself to be taken in by you and let you use me. Your wife gave me all the details of just what it was that happened between us. Yes, the wife you said you left. You’re in jail now and should be for a long time. I know Killian is safe. I know he won’t be exposed to you anymore and for that I’m grateful.

  I reached the end of the note. Stepping into my office, I pulled out the weathered and worn paper I’d kept over the years.

  I never knew someone could be so selfish. I’ve done so much for you over the years and with this final act I’ll have my release. I hope one day you’ll know what it means to care about someone other than yourself. What it is to care about family.

  Evelyn

  The trembling turned to molten rage as it dawned on me what he’d done. All these years. I’d believed that not even my own mother could see the good in me. That I was nothing more than the ruthless sum of my parts, destined to end up just like my father. And he’d done that to me. Mailed me the letter from prison. Correction, part of the letter. The part he knew would ensure that I didn’t abandon him in prison and pray that he never saw the light of day again.

  Droplets of water dropped onto the page. I reached up and felt the tears on my face. I hadn’t cried since the morning I found my mother. I hadn’t allowed myself to ever feel a pain like that before. I felt like my skin had been set on fire.

  Raw rage poured off me, pulsing in waves to high they threatened to knock me over. So much anger. At my mom for leaving me behind, for not knowing her own strength. At my so-called-father for his years of deception. Poisoning my mind with the hunt for revenge when it was him I should have been seeking my revenge from all along. And most of all, anger at myself. That I let this happen. That I turned into someone who would blackmail a woman into being with me because I never believed anyone could truly love me, not even my own mother.

  My dad came out of the bat
hroom and I grabbed him by the collar. His face paled when he saw the letter in my hand.

  “Killian.”

  “Get out!” I screamed in his face, spittle flying everywhere.

  “Where am I supposed to go?”

  “I don’t fucking care. I don’t care anymore and I never should have. You’re a fucking user and you’ve been using me since you decided to turn up when I was sixteen. I was just so happy to have a dad I didn’t see what a piece of shit you were.”

  He lifted his hand in a fist.

  “Try it, old man. You’re a beaten and battered piece of shit and if you try to lift your hand to me, I’ll put you out for good,” I said, my own fist cocked back, ready for him to try something.

  “I knew I should have given your mom the money for that abortion when she came asking,” he spat, before gathering his box and storming out of my apartment.

  I slid down the wall, tears in my eyes, and rested fists against my forehead. My heart thudding so hard, I thought I might have broken something. Tremors racked my body as I tried to suck in a breath. I was clawing my way to the surface of the ocean and I knew there was one lifeline that could keep me sane. I picked up my phone with trembling hands and I touched her name. It rang once before a recording came on.

  “The number you are calling is not available.” I pulled the phone back and stared at it to make sure I’d called the right number. She blocked me. I loved her. Hadn’t had the balls to admit that before now. So afraid of what that might mean. She wasn’t going to show up like I’d prayed she would.

  It wasn’t Rachel who showed up, but Melanie, who burst into my office ready to do battle.

  “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” she asked, the venom in her voice making me take a step back. “He could lose his daughter.”

  Confusion settled in as I tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about. I may have been trying to screw over Rhys, but what did that have to do with his daughter? And then it dawned on me. Allan’s phone calls and texts. His affair with Beth. His insistence on showing up in town.