by Ashlee Price
Getting back to work, I tried to worry about anything but what was going on. I tried to forget the redhead who frustrated me at every turn. There was no time for it. I had real work to do at the company, and every time I turned around I was staring off into the distance. It was not like me. None of it was. I kept having to remind myself of who I was.
I was beyond the point of really thinking, and by the end of the day I was cancelling meetings again, thinking about what I was going to do that night. My mind went to the several women who I could call and get what I wanted from. All of the waiting and flirting with Jesse to no end was doing me no good.
Finally I decided that I needed to give one of those girls a call. It didn’t matter which one. That thought didn’t make me feel as carefree as it normally would have; it just depressed me to really think about it. What I really wanted was Jesse, and I knew that any other woman was not going to be enough. If it wasn’t Jesse, it didn’t matter who it was.
So I just started going through the contacts in my phone alphabetically. I couldn’t exactly place Andrea, but I knew that she was an old fling because of the notation by her name. It was my own personal shorthand to keep them all straight.
It was no surprise when she agreed to see me. There wasn’t any anger in her voice and I was hoping that it had ended well between us. Sometimes I called the wrong one, forgetting that things hadn’t turned out as well as I’d hoped. This could get me into complicated situations, and the last thing I needed was any kind of complication. I just couldn’t take it.
We agreed to meet back at my place. I was hoping to relieve myself of the itch that wouldn’t go away, but I knew that it would only be like a Band-Aid. I was still going to want Jesse. Andrea wasn’t going to be what I wanted, but at least I would be able to get the edge off and I wouldn’t be so annoying with Jesse. I didn’t like the desperation that she made me feel, but I knew that it wasn’t going to magically go away without doing something to fix it.
So I took off from work, leaving my assistant asking about when I was going to be back. I knew that she only wanted to know because she was going to report to my father. Since I didn’t want to hear from him either, I turned my phone off and went home to meet Andrea. Whether she was the right one or not, she was what I needed right now to feel as close to normal as I could manage.
It didn’t take me long to get home and I was there before Andrea got there. I gave my maid the rest of the night off and in return she gave me a knowing look. I did my best to ignore that woman and her looks. Why did I feel so guilty? It’s not like I was with anyone. I just didn’t understand it.
Andrea got there not long afterward. She was as beautiful as I remembered. The clothes she wore were of the finest quality and everything about her was made for pleasure. She was a good choice, I thought to myself. If I was going to have to make do with second best, it was hard not to see Andrea as a pretty close second. She was the type of woman my family pushed me towards. Her family had money and she was ‘from good stock’ as my father would say.
****
“Sorry, Andrea, I have to go.”
The half-sleeping woman wasn’t wearing any clothes, and since that was a distraction, I covered up her naked bits with the sheet before I kissed her on the cheek.
“Will I see you again?”
It was a fair question, but one that I didn’t want to answer. If saw her again, it would be because I still didn’t have Jesse, so I liked the idea of saying no. But instead I just kind of shrugged and told her that I wasn’t sure. She didn’t expect anything more, so she was getting up and getting dressed to go home before I was out the door. I had work to do, I claimed, but really I was getting up so early because I wanted to go see Jesse. It was breakfast time and I was starving.
The bistro wasn’t open, and I smiled to myself when I knocked and saw Jesse downstairs. She used to have to come from upstairs, but since I was coming every morning, she was changing her routine for me. I wasn’t getting her in my arms, but small pieces of information like that gave me hope. I was feeling a little steadier this morning and I hoped that today was the day. But if it wasn’t, at least I didn’t feel like I was going to crawl out of my skin now.
“Good morning, Jesse. How are you doing today?”
She kind of nodded and let me in. There wasn’t the same smile on her face as I was usually greeted with, and that saddened me. I didn’t know why she was unhappy, but I wanted to change it. No matter what it was, if she would just tell me, I was sure that I could make it all better.
“I’m fine. Are you going to have the usual?”
The question gave me pause. It was strange for me to be anywhere enough to have a ‘usual.’ I never got my own breakfast and coffee, but now I was a guy that had a usual. It struck me as odd and out of place, kind of like me being there at the moment.
“Yeah, I guess I will.”
Jesse smiled for a moment, a small one that didn’t seem to register on the rest of her face. Something was definitely bothering her, but unlike most women I knew, Jesse didn’t want to talk about it. Any other time I would prefer that, staying as far away from female drama as I could, but this was different. I wanted her to tell me so that I could help her. I was trying to find an angle into her heart, and helping her might be that angle. That, and I just wanted to. I didn’t like the idea of her ever being upset, even for one moment.
Chapter 2 – Jesse
“What’s wrong, Jesse? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”
I shrugged and told him that I was fine. I wasn’t about to tell him about the news that I’d just received. That was the very last thing that I wanted to do. While I liked flirting with Scott, I knew that I was just something to keep his mind busy for a while. I didn’t have any false hopes that he actually wanted to be with me.
So instead of baring my soul, something I might have needed, I just made the man some breakfast. That was what he was there for, or at least what I told myself so my silly brain would stop making something out of nothing.
“It’s going to be a pretty day today. I hear that it’s supposed to be mid-seventies.”
Scott wasn’t really listening. He was spending far too much time looking at my face and trying to look deep into my eyes. I wasn’t going for it. His blue depths had too much of something in them. It made it hard to think, and that was the very last thing I needed right then.
Hurrying up, I boxed up his breakfast and ignored the feeling that came over me as he stared at me. I don’t know if he knew he was doing it or if he knew how disconcerting it was, but I just did my best to ignore him.
“Was there anything else that I could get for you, Scott?”
He nodded that there was and I waited for his request. I had a feeling it was going to be something I was not willing to give up, and if his gaze was any indication, I shouldn’t even have asked.
“Go out with me, Jesse.”
Smiling, I just shook my head that I wasn’t going to. There was a part of me that wanted to say yes, a big part, but I had a lot going on already and the last thing I needed was complications. I didn’t know much about Scott, but what I did know was that he was one big complication that I didn’t need to get involved with. Men like him wouldn’t do much more than chew me up and spit me out. I knew that much for sure.
“Maybe another time, Scott, but I’ve got a lot going on and I don’t think that it would be a good idea.”
“I can help you with whatever it is. Just go out with me.”
Sighing inwardly, I punched the numbers into the cash register and waited for him to pay the bill. He stared at me for several moments, me not able to meet his intense gaze, before he paid. I tried to give him his change, but like always, he gave it to me as a tip. I wasn’t going to say how much I needed it right then, but I did say thank you.
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
He nodded his head that I would, and that was the first genuine smile that I could manage. “See you tomorrow, Scott.�
�
I thought about him until Melissa got there and another crazy day began. I was still having trouble getting everyone to wait in line, but with the new delivery service in place, some of the people who didn’t want to wait no longer had to. It helped the environment and my nerves, so it was worth it to me.
***
“Don’t worry about all of that, Melissa. I’ll get to it in a little bit. I have to get to the accountants before they close.”
“I can stay around and finish up while you go. It’s no problem.”
I thanked her, but told her that it was unnecessary. I knew that she had plans, and the least I could do was let her leave early. She had worked almost a month solid, and I could see that it was getting to her. My friend was becoming frayed at the edges, something that diminished her bubbly personality.
“I insist. Go home and have some fun for both of us. I have to come back here later anyways, so there’s no point in both of us ruining our day.”
I could tell that she felt bad about going, but she was tugged away. She needed to have some fun, one of us did, and she finally agreed when she realized that I wasn’t going to give up on that.
“Fine, but I’m not coming in early. I saw the schedule and we both know that there is no way only one person can handle the morning crowd.”
Changing the schedule was the only way I could give her some time off. It was the lowest grossing part of the day, so it was the only time that I could even imagine giving her off. I wasn’t even close to being able to give her a whole day off, not yet. Maybe when the other two girls were trained and I had gotten to trust them a little more.
“You need a break, Melissa.”
“We both do.”
I kind of shrugged and grabbed my keys off the back office desk. “Yeah, well, I kind of asked for all of this. You didn’t.”
“Let’s get them trained and then maybe we can both take a day off. Imagine going out without these clothes on,” she said, pulling at her uniform.
I had to admit that sounded like a plan. I was getting burned out with the bistro. As much as I loved it, I needed a day off. I’d been rolling around the idea of closing down for a day, and now I was starting to think that it was the best way to do things.
“What if we closed one day a week? I know my father wouldn’t have approved, but I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it.”
Melissa seemed interested. I could tell she was feeling about the same way that I was about it all.
“What day?”
I didn’t really know, but I’d ruled out Sunday and Monday. “Maybe Tuesday? That’s our lowest grossing day.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Just for now anyways, till we get some more staff.”
She was as ready as I was to take a break, I could see it in her eyes. I didn’t blame her.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll put up a couple of signs and we will close down on Tuesday.”
“This week? That’s in two days.”
“I know, but I have a lot of stuff to do. I need to get to the bank and see if I can get a loan. There is no way that I’m going to be able to keep the doors open if not. I didn’t realize how bad dad’s debt was. I don’t know where he got it all from, but it’s a lot and I have to do something.”
“Oh, Jesse, I didn’t know. Do you really think it’s going to be shut down?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Chapter 3 – Scott
“Sir, you told me to call you if I heard anything about that business you were looking into.”
I perked up from the office chair and asked the bank manager what information he had for me. I had a lot of money in his bank and I was a good customer. He wasn’t supposed to disclose information about other clients, but he would for me. It hadn’t taken much pressure for him to give me exactly what I wanted. What I wanted was for him to tell me that my father was right about the company’s finances and we had an angle on Jesse.
“Okay, Bill, what do you have?”
“Well, your father was right. He said that she was in dire straits and she is. She was just here a little while ago to try for a loan.”
“Did you give it to her?” I don’t know why I was so worried that he had.
“No, no, I couldn’t. Her father left the business in quite a mess, and even though the profits are off the charts right now, there’s a cash flow problem that I couldn’t help her with. I wish I could, especially knowing that you know her.”
“No, that’s fine, Bill. Thank you for letting me know.”
“No problem, but can I ask why you wanted to know in the first place? This doesn’t seem like something that your father would be interested in.”
“You know how he is. He sees things that other people don’t.”
“Well, it is ripe for the taking. I don’t know how she hasn’t shut the doors yet. It isn’t worth how much they owe. I don’t think she’ll ever get it paid off.”
I thought of the determined woman that I’d come to know and care about. There was no doubt to me that she would do what was needed to keep the place open. She loved it there, that much was clear. Jesse wasn’t going anywhere if she could help it, and I admired her even more for that.
I thanked the man again and hung up with a little more hope in my heart. I’d seen her this morning, and although she had been sidetracked with something, I wouldn’t have guessed that it was as bad as Bill was making it out to be. But now I knew. I had my angle, and my father was right. It wasn’t something that I was going to say to him out loud, but it was there.
Instead of staying around the office, I left early, like I’d been doing for a while. My destination was clear in my mind: I was hoping to catch Jesse before she closed up for the day. I noticed that there wasn’t a line, and I was thinking that I was lucky. I wasn’t lucky, though. I got to the front and found out that it was closed. The one day that I didn’t come in for the morning and it was now closed. It said they would be back the next day, but I didn’t want to wait. My father was right, it was time to pounce, although I could have cared less about the business – it was the owner that I wanted.
I pounded on the door and waited. She usually came down after a few minutes, and it was starting to look like she wasn’t there. I knocked another couple of times after I noticed that her car was there. Again I knocked and waited, hoping that she would come to the door. I knew that the place was closed, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want to see her. I hadn’t been able to that morning and I was regretting it like I would if I’d wasted all of my oxygen and there was none left in the world.
“Hold on.”
I heard the voice clearly and realized that she’d been downstairs the whole time. When Jesse came out of the kitchen, it was obvious that she had been drinking a little. Or a lot. She was way beyond tipsy. I’d never seen her that way, and for such a straight-laced kind of girl, it was quite entertaining.
“I didn’t see you this morning.”
“I uh, had an early meeting that I couldn’t get out of.”
While I liked the idea that she had noticed my absence, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about it. Jesse didn’t even bother to shut the door after I came in.
“Well, I’m not cooking today. I haven’t had a day off since the funeral, and I’m not even cooking for you, Scott, no matter how cute you are.”
My smile broadened and she made a face at me. Jesse hadn’t meant to say it, but the alcohol seemed to have loosened up her lips. I liked the results. I felt like I could tell her anything, ask her anything.
“I’m just here to say hi, no more, no less.”
Her lips pursed and then pouted. “Oh, well, hi.”
I chuckled, unable to stop myself. Jesse found a seat at one of the chairs in the front and it didn’t look like she was planning on leaving that spot any time soon.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded that she was fine, but it wasn’t hard to see that that was the furthest thing from the truth. Jes
se wasn’t fine. There was something going on, and I was sure that it had to do with her visit to the bank earlier in the day. I wanted to tell her about it, tell her that I could fix everything, but then she would know that I was checking up on her, and I was sure that Jesse would not find that endearing at all. I was pretty sure that she would hate the very idea of it, and I didn’t want to make her mad.
“You don’t look okay. Let me help you upstairs so that you don’t get any ideas and try to open this place up.”
Jesse giggled and told me that she had no intention of working. By the smell of her breath that was a very good idea. “How much did you have to drink?”
She shrugged and then told me to go get her bottle.
“I will, just let me get you upstairs and into bed. Then I’ll go get it for you.”
I tried at first to just help her along, but Jesse wasn’t doing her part, so by the third stair I gave up on that approach and just picked her up in my arms. She felt like she weighed nothing, and I felt a protective feeling come over me. I don’t know what it was about this woman, but everything about her clutched at my heart and made it hard to think straight. What was she doing to me?
“Thank you, Scott.”
“Any time, Jesse. I don’t think you’re a very good drinker.”
She laughed again. Whatever she’d been drinking, she had had far too much of it for this time of day. I supposed that she’d come back from the bank and started in. I wanted to talk to her about it, get her to say something, but it was the wrong time. She may have been pliable, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Her body was warm and in my arms and I didn’t want to do anything to erase her smile.
“Do you want me to put you in bed?”
“Please, but no funny business.”
I promised her that I wouldn’t, though every fiber of my being was dying to.