by Ashlee Price
“Yeah, it’s not a big deal, just a little get-together and all of that. No biggie.” Why did I keep saying that? It was a big deal. Actually it was an extremely big deal, and there was nothing but trepidation in my heart. I wanted them to like her, but more than that I needed my father to approve of her. It was very important, and while I wanted to rebel, I knew that it was true.
***
My father kept looking at Jesse as if she were an insect that he was going to squash. I’d been worried about him looking at her in another way, but instead he looked down on her. Although Jesse was too polite to say anything, I could tell that she could feel it. It wasn’t what I’d wanted, but in the back of my mind, I wasn’t surprised that this was how it was turning out.
“So, tell me about your parents, Jesse.”
That was something that I hadn’t even asked about. I hadn’t asked about family or much of anything else. We really didn’t talk much when we were together, so that was one question that I didn’t mind hearing the answer to, even though I thought my father was being rather nosy. At least my mother wasn’t acting the same way. I knew that she wouldn’t. She was just happy that someone meant enough to me to introduce her.
“Well, there’s not much to tell. My mother has been gone since I was a child, so my father pretty much raised me. We opened the bistro together and were running it up until he died a couple of months ago.”
I couldn’t stop looking at her. Although she didn’t show it on her face, there was a pain in her eyes that was usually not there, as well as a slight shake to the hand that was bringing her glass to her lips. I felt ashamed for never asking. Why hadn’t I known that about her? That was something that I should have asked and I should have known. Here I was thinking one thing, not knowing that she was still so positive after everything that she’d been through. It made me look at her differently, and dare I say it, it made me love her even more than before, if that was possible.
“I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mother so young, Jesse. I don’t know what I would have done without mine. She taught me everything I know.”
Jesse kind of chuckled and agreed. “Yes, my father trying to teach me how to put makeup on was a challenge, but that’s what friends are for. My mother didn’t die, though, she just left. I’m not sure where she went and I don’t really care. She didn’t want to stay when I was a child, so I have no use for her now.”
There was a steel in her voice that I’d only heard when we first met. I could still hear it in my mind and I knew that Jesse was far more upset than she appeared. She was good at hiding it.
“Sorry to bring it up. It must be a hard memory.”
“Not really. Everything happens for a reason, and I don’t regret how I was raised. My father did a good job, the best that he could.”
“So your father, what did he do?”
Jesse turned from my mother to my father. There was a bit of defensiveness in her eyes. She hadn’t taken long to see my father for what he truly was. I don’t know why, but it made me so happy that she could see right through him too.
“He cooked, sir.”
“I hear that he got himself into a bunch of gambling debt and was about to lose that place.”
I would have killed my father if I could have. The look on Jesse’s face was enough to make my heart clench. Did she know, or was this a shock? That must be why the finances were messed up. I would have never guessed, but no matter the truth, it was obvious that Jesse didn’t want anyone talking about her father in such a way.
“Yes, sir, I believe that he did get himself in debt with a few people, but I assure you that the bistro isn’t going anywhere.”
“Oh really? How is that?”
She looked at me and then took another drink from her glass. Jesse didn’t have to say where she’d gotten the money. The look my father gave me was enough of an answer. I was going to hear about that, I was sure of it.
Chapter 4 – Jesse
I left the dinner with Scott’s parents with mixed feelings. While I really liked his mom, his father was not a man who was going to be easy to get along with. There was a resemblance between the two men that was undeniable, but I remember being thankful more than once that Scott did not act like his father as much as he looked like him. The resemblance was one thing, but the feeling that the older man gave me was nothing like the feeling I got from being with his son.
Insisting that he take me home, I told Scott that I wasn’t feeling very well and that I wanted to be alone. It was the first time since we’d been together intimately that we wouldn’t spend the night in each other’s arms, but I was okay with that. I needed time to think and get over the way it all made me feel. The man had made me feel like I was the gum on the bottom of his shoes, and I can’t say that I liked the feeling at all. I could have gone a lifetime without ever meeting him.
I worried that Scott would feel the same way about me. I knew that he was out of my league. I’d known it since the first time that I’d met him, but his family had made it even clearer without actually saying a word. His father had sneered when I’d talked about my father, and that upset me more than anything else did. I didn’t care what he thought or said about me, but I still cared about my father’s memory. It was all I had left, and I wasn’t going to let it get tarnished by a man who had never even met him. I just couldn’t.
Scott called me after he got home that night. I did answer, but we didn’t talk for long at all. I was feeling weird, and I didn’t want to tell him that his father was a jerk. I was pretty sure that he knew it, because he’d been raised around him, but I didn’t know how close they were. The evening had made many things clear, and one of them was how little we actually knew about each other. How could I be in love with him without knowing anything about him besides what I’d read in magazines? It didn’t make sense, and it was hard to really take it all in.
I promised Scott that I would call him in the morning, but he was there waiting for me when I got up. Like before, he was knocking on the door before we opened, but this time I was happy to see him. I gave him a big hug when I opened the door. I’d missed him the night before, but I would never breathe a word of it out loud.
“Good morning, Jesse.”
He had a strange look in his eyes, much like he’d had when he came to see me the day before. I was still unsure what made him look that way at me. What was going on?
“Morning, Scott. Are you coming in?”
He nodded that he was, but he didn’t make any move to do so. I was trying to tell myself that I was just imagining things, but I wasn’t sure if that was true. I didn’t want to work myself up again for nothing, though, so I tried to take a deep breath instead. I moved back into the shop and pretended like I wasn’t shaking inside with a sense of impending doom.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Are you okay? You seem sidetracked this morning. Do you have a lot going on with work?”
I had a feeling that it wasn’t work related, but I didn’t have the courage to ask him if it was about the dinner with his parents the night before. I didn’t want to think about that, even though I knew that he must feel as badly as I did about everything. It wasn’t like I’d just made it worse in my head. It was that bad, because it had been that bad. It had been far worse than any meeting I’d been in before.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind. Work is always a big part of that.”
I had a feeling that it had more to do with his father and less to do with his work. “So are you working late today?”
Scott rubbed the back of his neck, something that I associated with him being nervous. He didn’t do it that often anymore, but when we were first together he’d done it all of the time. What was he so nervous about?
Not wanting to see him that way, I went into the kitchen and started him some breakfast. I didn’t even ask him what he wanted, just took the time to relax with the new habit that I’d picked up. Cooking always made me feel better about everything, an
d I wanted that bit of relaxation now. I needed it, really.
“I… Jesse, we need to talk.”
The feeling in my stomach was rising to my throat as I waited to see what he was going to say next. It wasn’t going to be good, so I tried to prepare myself in the best way that I knew how.
“Okay, Scott, what do you want to talk about?”
“Us.”
“Us, huh? I didn’t even really think that there was an us.”
That had Scott stopping and finally looking at me. There was something in his blues eyes that was akin to anger, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he was mad about. I could feel the walls coming up though, and I didn’t want to admit to him or anyone else how much the next few moments were going to hurt.
“Well, you know, I know it isn’t official, but I care about you, Jesse, and I enjoyed our time together more than I can tell you.”
I noticed the way he was already using past tense. It was over.
“I enjoyed our time together as well, Scott.”
“I wish it were different, but I don’t think that we should see each other again.”
“Oh.”
It was all that I could get out. I turned away so that my blasted eyes wouldn’t give me up. So I wouldn’t have to see Scott’s reaction and pity.
“Is that all you’re going to say?”
“Yes, what more can I say? You and I were never going to be much more than a fling. I knew that.”
My eyes were burning as I boxed up the omelet and handed it to him without meeting his gaze. “It was nice to meet you, Scott. I’ll make sure I keep up on the loan payments. I’ll always be grateful for your help.”
I turned back to the stove and stared at the small bit of flame still coming up. It felt like I waited forever to hear him leave. Only then did I look back at him, and only then did I let the first tear fall down my cheek.
To be continued in Part 7…
Served Part 7: Simmer
By: Ashlee Price
Prologue
After his breakup with Jesse, Scott’s life is quickly spinning out of control. While he broke up with her because of his father, Scott is starting to wonder if he made the right decision. Every day without her feels like a lifetime, and it isn’t long before he’s sure that it’s never going to get better. He’s desperate for another chance at real love, because with Jesse, it was real love.
Jesse is just as distraught, but she has more pressing matters on her mind. After getting a letter from a lawyer who represents Scott’s dad, Jesse finds out about one last thing her father left her with when he died: a whole lot of unpaid taxes. Now she’s going to lose her father’s bistro, as well as her home. With everything that’s going on, Scott is the last thing on her mind. Until, that is, she gets a worrisome call that changes everything.
Chapter 1 – Scott
I could still see Jesse’s face when I told her that I didn’t want to see her anymore. She was heartbroken, and although I liked to tell myself that I wasn’t upset about it, not really, it was far worse than I’d thought it would be. Not only was Jesse gone from my life, but no one else could replace her. I’d tried. Much like I had with Andrea, so long ago it seemed like. I’d gone back to my old ways, but after trying to forget her in the arms of several other women, I gave up. There was no point. Not with everything that was going on with dad and the business.
So all I could do was try to forget about her, which seemed as impossible as getting over her was. I wasn’t going to be able to do either of them, and the more I thought about what I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about, the surer I was that this was it for me. I wasn’t going to find another Jesse and there was no point in even hoping for it. If I couldn’t have Jesse, I didn’t want anyone.
“Sir?”
Caroline was standing over me with that look on her face that I hated. It was like she was always mad at me. I was sick of looking at her. I told myself then that the first thing I was going to do when my dad no longer held the reins was to fire Caroline. I couldn’t stand her and I would have done it that minute if I could have.
“What is it, Caroline? I didn’t hear you knock.”
My tone was harsh and it had her immediately straightening up. I could tell that she was bothered by my harshness, but I didn’t care. I was tired of hiding my true feelings and I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I refused to do it anymore.
“Well, sir, I did knock, but after a couple of times I figured that you weren’t going to answer. So I opened the door. I didn’t think it would be a problem.”
“Just because my father gave you all kinds of liberties doesn’t mean that I’m going to. Say what you want and be on your way.”
I didn’t usually talk to her like that. It was taking Caroline time to process my words, but I didn’t back down. I didn’t want to. My foul mood was only going to get worse.
“Um, well, your father wanted to know about the paperwork that was given to you last month. He keeps asking me about it.”
“If he’s that worried about it, then he can call me himself. I don’t want to hear about him from you anymore. You work for me, Caroline, is that clear?”
She nodded her head, but we both knew that as soon as she left my office, she was going to be calling my father and tattling on me like I was five. The idea made me even madder, but I just stared off into space, trying to convince myself that there wasn’t anything wrong with how I was acting. I was justified in my anger.
“I’ll leave you alone, sir.”
Giving her one last dirty look, I waited for her to leave before I closed my eyes and squeezed the bridge of my nose. How had everything changed in less than a month? I felt like I was back to my old life, and I wasn’t happy about that sentiment. I didn’t want my old life back. I wanted Jesse.
***
“I hear that you’re giving Caroline a hard time.”
His booming voice pulled me from my nap. I’d had far too many drinks with lunch, and although I’d had a driver with me, I still drove back to the office. The driver had refused to get in the car, so I’d told him to walk back. That was what I thought I would hear about, not hurting the old crone’s feelings.
“What is she to you? Do you have a love child with Caroline as well? Is that why you’re so loyal to her?” I shook my head. “No, that’s not it, because we both know that you couldn’t give a damn about family.”
Jackson shut the door a bit too hard and the sound jarred me awake even more. He didn’t like what I’d said, but he never did. At least I was feeling a little bit better after having a bit of my say. I was going to pay for it, though; the bright blue eyes staring back at me were going to make sure of that.
“What the hell has gotten into you lately, Scott? Are you drunk?”
He was getting too close to the truth, and I didn’t want him to smell me. I most likely smelled like a brewery. I was sure I did. That was one more thing that I didn’t want to hear about. None of it was his business. I was doing my job.
“I had dinner and drinks with clients for lunch, just like you taught me. Got to wine and dine them, don’t you?”
“Yes, son, but you don’t get shitfaced in the middle of the day. I’m sure I taught you that as well.”
“We can’t all be as perfect as you, I guess, Father.” My voice was full of sarcasm, and I was so close to quitting. What would I do if I didn’t have the job, if I didn’t have Jackson breathing over my neck all of the time?
“Son, you need to straighten your ass up right now. I’m not going to deal with this and neither is Caroline. Do you know that she’s talking about quitting?”
“Good. She’s your assistant, not mine.”
He sat down with a heavy sigh and looked at me with the closest thing to sadness that I’d ever seen on his face. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you need to get it together, Scott. We have a lot of business to do, and there are a lot of people who would love to be in your shoes.”
I felt
like taking off the shoes that everyone wanted and throwing them at him, but I just stared back balefully.
“What is wrong with you Scott? This can’t be about that girl again.”
“That girl? You met her. Her name was Jesse, so please don’t act like she’s just another girl. I think you know that isn’t true. I cared about her a lot.”
“She wasn’t good enough for you, for your station in life. You have to be careful who you put in your corner, Scott. A woman can make or break you.”
“As far as you’re concerned, they just break you, huh? Jesse was different. She made me want to be a better man.”
My father made a sound indicating that it was all hogwash coming out of my mouth. He had perfected his derision to such an extent that he didn’t have to say a word. His look and his dead eyes spoke clearly to me. I realized then that I was wasting my breath. I knew that whatever happened next, I wasn’t going to include him in anything. He had ruined my life and ruined my chances for happiness. How could I ever look at him the same way again?
Chapter 2 – Jesse
“You haven’t said a word all day.”
I shrugged and smiled back at Melissa. I didn’t want her to think something was wrong. She had been asking for weeks now, and although I tried to pretend that it was all okay, it was harder than I’d thought it would be. Everything in me wanted to make it all better, but I knew deep down that it would never be better. It would never be okay again. I felt like a teenager losing her first crush. That had happened before, several years ago when I was in college.
Now, as an adult, it was somehow worse, because instead of skipping a few classes to cry it out, I had responsibilities to take care of. So that meant that I had to pretend that I was okay, even when I was really dying inside. That was the hardest part of it all.