Rachel scowled. “Perv.”
My grin faded away.
“Anyway,” I said, redirecting my attention back to Charlotte, “the fact is that I was responsible for killing two of your kids, and my team and I got your third child eternally trapped in the ninth level.” I raised Boomy and aimed it at her forehead. “Do you really think you can beat us?”
It was her turn to grin sinisterly.
CHAPTER 40
O kay, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea to challenge a dragon like that, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team.
This is what went through my mind as I slid down the same wall that Turbo had slid down after firing off his gun. He was sitting next to me rubbing his head while I rubbed the indent on my chest that was caused by the boot of one Charlotte the Dragon.
She was fast. Like Haste fast.
“Ouch,” I said as Charlotte zipped around the room, punching and kicking my team as if they were standing still.
I had to do something, but I didn’t know what.
Sheesh, that crazy dragon bitch was even giving Trezgel a solid ass-kicking, and he looked to be built out of granite.
Time.
The thought rang out from my subconscious mind, much like Flashes had done when we’d been hunting Shitfaced Fred a while back.
A vision of Dr. Vernon during her extended orgasm came to mind. That had been something to see, certainly, but how did the Time thing play into stopping Charlotte? I suppose I could use Time to stop everything and give her a lengthy orgasm.
Ummm…no.
She didn’t deserve it.
Time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn’t like I didn’t hear myself the first time around. But what was I supposed to do with it?
I studied the room as bodies flew about. There was no way I could get past that infernal dragon, and even if I did, how was I to get to the table and free Warren with all that electricity flying about?
A thought struck.
“Turbo,” I said, plucking the pixie on the head gently.
“Hey,” he answered with a frown. “Watch it.”
“Sorry. Listen, if I can get you through that…” I pointed at the swirling energy.
“Maelstrom?”
I shrugged. “Sure, okay. If I can get you through it, would you be able to use your gun to blow up the silver ball thing that’s sucking up all the energy?”
“Kerpow would make minced meat of that ball,” he said while eying his gun lovingly.
“Kerpow?” I said with a chuckle.
“Boomy?” he replied with a chuckle that mocked my own.
“Right.”
Now, the real problem was that I didn’t know if Turbo was going to be able to manage the time differential alongside of me or if he’d be slowed down with it in much the same way Dr. Vernon had been. During my tryst with my eminent psychologist, I’d lived outside of the time dilation. She hadn’t.
“I’m going to slow time,” I said to the pixie. “When that happens, you’ll probably be seeing me move super fast. You might want to close your eyes for this.”
“Slow time?”
“Exactly,” I said as I closed my eyes and calmed my mind.
I recalled the way I’d thought about the word before. The feeling, the inflection, and the desire. Not that desire.
Time.
Everything slowed to a crawl.
I picked up Turbo and stuck him in my shirt pocket. There was room. It wasn’t like I put pens in there, after all.
While everyone else was moving in slow motion, I was able to go at the same speed as always.
The first thing I did was move Jasmine out of the way from the incoming fist that Charlotte was throwing.
The second thing I did was punch Charlotte in the head, which had to have felt like she’d been hit by a planet.
The third thing I did was stand in front of Rachel and stick my tongue out at her. I probably stood there doing this for far too long, but it felt good to get it out of my system. While her face was moving super slow, I had the sensation that her eyes were in the process of creasing angrily.
No more time to waste.
I had to get Warren off that table and…
And what?
I looked at Melvin.
I looked at Warren.
I looked at Charlotte.
I looked at the energy-sucking metal ball.
“Perfect!”
CHAPTER 41
M y first fear was that walking through the electrical field was going to hurt like shit.
It did.
Fortunately, it was just like one of those jolts like you got from touching a rune-protected door. It wasn’t fun, and it could knock you on your ass if you weren’t ready for it, but you’d live. Another fortunate bit was that I’d had the foresight to set Turbo down before attempting to go through. He was still moving at the same speed as the electricity. That meant he’d not be able to step through sections like I could.
I stepped back out and snapped up the little pixie.
The only way he was getting through was if I found a blank area and slid him in. There couldn’t be any energy flowing or he’d get thumped. It was like playing a game of Operation, except that this game board could move. Thankfully, time was going so slowly that I got him through safely and then pushed my way back through the field.
Honestly, it wasn’t at all pleasant.
I saw a switch next to the old wizard and flicked it off. The energy field died.
To the rest of the room this would look like nothing but a flicker. Their brains wouldn’t process the change for at least a half-second in real time, and that was a long way away in my world.
It took me a minute to get the straps off Warren. His face was ashen and his body temperature was cold. I assumed he’d be burning up, but that just made me remember it was his energy they were draining.
I got him to the other side of the room and gently set him down.
Then I grabbed Charlotte, who was still slowly falling over from my punch, and shoved her onto the table.
After attaching the straps to her, I took out Boomy and fired at the metal ball. It just ricocheted off of it like I’d expected it would.
Turbo’s gun was far too tiny for me to use, though, and that meant I needed to get back to normal time.
“I hope you’re ready for this, little dude,” I said to him as I picked him up and lined up his shot. “Good thing you kept your eyes shut.”
Just like clockwork (pun intended) the effects of Time disappeared. It was as though it knew when I was done with it.
“Fire!” I yelled.
Turbo raised Kerpow and shot the silver ball. The kick was heavy enough that the little pixie slammed into my chest.
But the shot did the trick.
The ball shattered as Melvin’s face contorted and Charlotte screamed.
“What’s happening?” yelled the old wizard. Then he pointed at me. “What have you done?”
“Saved my wizard, dick nose,” I replied as I launched Turbo toward Harvey.
I then landed a right cross on Melvin’s chin, and then flicked the energy switch back on. The rush of power threatened to rip through every fiber of my being as I was caught right in the middle of it.
It hurt like fuck.
“Ian!” Rachel hollered through the connector.
Then she grabbed me and pulled me free of the pain.
We both collapsed, but only Rachel lost consciousness.
Jasmine and Griff rushed over to work on her as I drunkenly pulled myself up and looked back at Melvin and Charlotte.
“Stop the ritual, you stupid son of a bitch,” Charlotte was hollering at the old wizard.
“I can’t,” Melvin spat back while rubbing his jaw from where I’d struck him. “It’s too late.”
She strained against the restraints, popping them from her arms.
This bitch was strong.
Charlotte crossed her arms and began morphing into her
full dragon form.
She didn’t make it.
A whipping sound like that of a vortex dragged everything that was inside the magic field, including the field itself, down to a single point.
Everything.
There was nothing left but the sound of ragged breaths coming from my team and what looked like a marble-sized ball of light floating where the table had once stood.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing with a shaky finger.
As if in answer to my question, the damn thing exploded, blowing all of us back to the sides of the room as a stream of light flew straight down and flooded everything.
Worse, there were chunks of stuff flying all over the place.
Those chunks included bits of Melvin and Charlotte.
I knew this because a talon stuck in my thigh and that immediately caused the word Flashes to go through my head as pain raked my body.
“Aw, fuck,” I said a nanosecond before everything froze.
CHAPTER 42
I ’d been through Flashes once before, so I kind of knew what to expect. The first time it’d happened was back when my crew had been dealing with Shitfaced Fred and his zombie apocalypse.
This one didn’t feel much different, but obviously Fred wasn’t the focus…Charlotte was.
Now, I didn’t know how all of this worked, but when it happened with Fred, I’d seen everything from the eyes of an unknown soldier who had been tracking Fred’s master, looking to snipe him.
This time, I didn’t know whose eyes I was looking through, but he or she seemed to be hazed and following Melvin and Charlotte around inside what appeared to be the tower I was currently seated in.
“The orc is on our side?” asked Melvin in an old man’s voice.
“Of course,” replied Charlotte. “He knows that the only way his race gains life is if I use the key and free them.”
So Griff was right about the orcs just being shells.
Warped.
“He may attempt to wrestle the key away,” warned Melvin.
Charlotte scoffed. “He’ll die trying.”
I recognized the hallway they were walking down. To the right was the room where all the crazy electricity shit had just occurred…well, in my normal time, anyway.
“We must choose the location of the portal.”
“I already know where it’s going to be, Melvin,” Charlotte replied. “I kept it on the lowest level so the orcs will be able to get through it quickly.”
“Wise,” Melvin replied, nodding. “Time will be of the essence, for certain.”
She stopped and eyed the old wizard. “I thought you said that the fabric would be permanently ripped. Is that not true?”
“It is tied to you and that key,” Melvin answered, pointing at the silver square that hung from Charlotte’s neck. So it wasn’t key-shaped. “If you specifically get through the portal, and if I safely get through, and the key as well, the rift will be permanent. If any of those three things don’t happen, it will be fleeting.”
Smart.
Obviously Melvin knew a thing or two about how dragons worked.
“Are you saying you don’t trust me?” Charlotte asked with eyes aflutter.
“Of course I don’t,” Melvin replied seriously. “Nor should you trust me.”
“Never have.”
Melvin nodded. “Since we have an understanding, Queen Charlotte, I shall need to know the precise location of where you placed the portal jewel.”
In answer, she walked over to a door and opened it. On the other side was a railing that hung over the edge of a drop all the way down to the bottom of the castle.
“It’s on a wire in the center of the expanse,” she said, pointing. “If you jump over the railing, you’ll fall through the portal. The orcs and I will climb that small set of stairs and leap through.”
“Perfect,” said Melvin.
Charlotte crossed her arms. “Of course it is.”
CHAPTER 43
When Flashes ended, I found Harvey had pulled the talon from my leg and everyone was staring down at me with a look of concern in their eyes.
Well, everyone but Warren and Trezgel.
Just like the last time I’d been through a Flashes event, I was disoriented and dizzy. But that didn’t matter right now. What did matter was getting to that portal with the key intact.
“Where is it?” yelled Trezgel as he was throwing things all around the room.
Rachel was the first to ask, “Where is what?”
“The damned key, you stupid female!”
I winced.
“Pardon me?” she said.
Trezgel’s eyes were aflame as he spun and approached Rachel. He glared down at her.
She kicked him in the stones.
Now, I specifically used the word “stones” here because apparently that’s what orcs had as balls. Either that or they were located in a different place than they were on humans.
Rachel yelled, “Son of a bitch,” as she hopped around on one foot while holding her other as if it’d been crushed by a sledgehammer.
Trezgel clearly found Rachel’s pain punishment enough because he went back to hunting for the key.
“Guys,” I said through the connector, “we have to find the key before he does. If he gets it, he’ll be able to release those orcs and give them life.”
“Ian is correct,” agreed Griff. “We cannot allow that to occur. The problem is that we do not know what the key looks like.”
“I do,” I stated as I pushed myself up to wobbly feet. “It’s square, silver, and is likely attached to a chain since Charlotte was wearing it around her neck.”
Everyone stayed put but began inconspicuously looking around the area as Trezgel continued throwing things all over the place. We didn’t want him to think we were searching for it, too.
Or did we?
“Trezgel,” I yelled, “why do you want this key?”
“To free my people, of course!”
“And what will you do with them?”
His eyes blazed again. “We will take our rightful place as masters of the Netherworld.” The orc blinked. “Uh…” His eyes darted around. “I mean, uh, we’ll live in harmony and work to be contributing members of society.” He scratched innocently on the wall. “I’m sure we’ll do a lot of wonderful things, like…uh…gardening and maybe raising livestock.”
“Oh, well, that sounds nice,” I said, putting on a better acting job than he just had. “Okay, gang, let’s help Trezgel find the key so he and his band of orcs can flourish and bring some greenery back to the Badlands.” I then winked at the orc. “Maybe they’ll even change the name of the place from Badlands to Green Acres when you’re done with it, eh?”
“That’d be a dream, of course,” he said with the oddest smile I’d ever seen. Then, as if thinking quickly, he turned to Rachel. “I apologize for my behavior before. You must understand that the future of my race is at stake here.”
Rachel’s face remained tight.
“Play along, please,” I said through the connector.
She closed her eyes and released a slow breath. “I totally understand.” The words were forced, but Trezgel didn’t seem to notice.
“Right,” I said, clapping my hands. “Well, let’s dig on through and see what we find then, shall we?”
Trezgel resumed his search, but he’d calmed down a fair bit on throwing things around.
“Okay, gang,” I said as I looked for the key, “we all know this guy is going to try and do naughty things, so if he gets the key, shoot him, fireball him, and do whatever else you can to destroy his ass. If one of us gets the key, run out of the room, go to the third door on the right, and jump.”
“Jump?” Harvey asked, stopping his search and giving me a scared look.
“Yes.” Then I hesitated. “Actually, I don’t know if the portal even got created.”
“What portal?” said Rachel.
I continued picking through things in search of th
e key as I explained the situation to the others. As soon as I’d finished, Turbo flew from the room and went to check.
“Door is open and there is definitely a portal down there,” he said through the connector. “Long drop, though.”
Grunt.
“Worry not, Harvey,” Griff noted as Warren started coming around, “the fall will be quick, but once we hit the portal it will slow us down and we will land on the other side as if coming to rest on a soft mattress.”
Grunt.
“What happened?” asked Warren while rubbing his head. “My eyes are burning like mad.”
“Long story,” I answered. “We’ve got a crazed orc in here searching for a key to open the gate that will unleash an army of his kind. Chances are that he’ll take them through the portal and try to rule the Overworld. That’s my guess, anyway. Oh, and all of this was built by your girlfriend and some wizard named Merlin.”
“Melvin,” corrected Griff.
“Oh yeah, that’s right.”
“That didn’t seem like a very long story,” Warren said. “And am I to assume she’s not my girlfriend?”
“Well, let’s put it this way, she was using you to power the portal,” said Jasmine gently. “Sorry.”
Warren glanced at her and then went to get up.
“Ouch,” he hissed and rubbed his elbow. “What the hell was that?”
Sitting just beneath his arm was the key.
“Don’t move,” I commanded.
The problem was that everyone on my squad thought that command was meant for them, and so they all froze.
This caught Trezgel’s attention.
“Have you found it?” he asked darkly as his eyes bore into mine.
“Uh…well…” I licked my lips and then whipped out Boomy and yelled, “Light his ass up!”
CHAPTER 44
M ayhem ensued as Harvey picked up Warren and began running for the door.
The key dropped to the ground in the process and I swept it up and shoved it into my pocket. If the orc wanted it, he’d have to come and get it.
That didn’t make me feel all that swell, actually.
Blood Bane Tower: An Ian Dex Supernatural Novel, #3 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department) Page 16