“This place is a shithole,” Vincent said, his hand covering his mouth and nose.
“Don’t be a dick. It’s a place for Tony to live,” Salvatore said.
Tony lowered his eyes and waved his friends off. “I used to live in a house with no heat or running water—where the googamongers lived. So this ain’t so bad. Just needs to be cleaned up a little is all.”
The boys proceeded into the small living room, where there was a thin love seat next to an old TV table. A crib mattress sat lonely in the middle of the floor, stained with large brownish spots. A few random toys left behind by the previous tenant looked lost and spooky. Tony dragged his feet over the worn carpet, making his way into the only bedroom.
There was a single bed with a wooden headboard pushed up against a small window covered in yellowed lace. The floor was cluttered with discarded clothing, mostly children’s. The mattress on the bed frame was partially covered by a soiled light-pink sheet. The once-beige carpet showed thick trails of black, the wear of many years of neglect.
Tony turned and walked to the bathroom. The toilet was filled to the brim with orange-brown water that threatened to push away the crooked toilet seat that hung over the edge. The sink across from the toilet was covered in rust and mold. The front of the white bathtub was streaked with grime, and inside the tub a single layer of cockroaches lay dead in their final resting place. Tony looked at the lifeless black bodies. My new home, Tony thought, where insects came to die.
“Aw, goddamn, that’s disgusting,” Vincent grunted, crunching his eyebrows and pursing his lips.
As Tony looked into the tub, he agreed.
“Will you be OK?” Salvatore asked.
“Sure. I’m gonna be fine. Tomorra I’m gonna go to the bakery and see Kate. Ya know, I’m just gonna take it a day at a time. Do we got any work tomorra?”
“Yes, Vincent and I will show you the ropes, get you familiar with collecting the money that the store owners pay to my father.”
Tony gritted his teeth and turned away from Salvatore.
“Something wrong?” Salvatore asked.
Tony thought, Yeah, the mention of your no-good father makes me want to slice him up into tiny pieces. Instead he said, “Nah. Everything is fine. You guys can head out; I’ll be OK.”
“Look at it this way,” Salvatore said, trying to be optimistic. “Maybe someday we will all be made men. You know, in the mob. This is the first step to getting closer to it.”
Tony spun on Salvatore. “Made men? I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ’bout. I ain’t gonna be made into nothin’. I’ve been fightin’ my whole life. Fightin’ for everything. Fightin’ just to stay alive. So the Mafia ain’t gonna make me nothin’ ’cause I’m gonna be the kinda man I was meant to be.”
Salvatore chuckled. “Calm down, man. You don’t have to be so jumpy.”
Salvatore started jumping on one foot, and Vincent soon followed, mocking Tony. They didn’t stop until Tony’s scowl turned into a smile. Within seconds the three men were standing ankle deep in garbage, laughing. Tony was in a good mood by the time his friends left. He looked around him and welcomed himself home.
Chapter Eighty-Nine
After Salvatore and Vincent left, Tony stood in the middle of the filthy living room. He pushed empty soda and beer cans off of the love seat. He lay on his back, and before he drifted to sleep, he remembered the look on Razor’s face when Johnny Morano cut his tongue out. Razor had deserved that and much more, not just because of how he’d treated Tony but because of the way he’d abused the others with his position in the gang. Tony only wished he could have cut Razor’s tongue out himself. Cold and exhausted, he curled himself into a fetal position and fell asleep.
The next morning, Tony rose and looked around him. He was living in squalor—there wasn’t a clean spot in the whole joint—but he smiled anyway, because it was his new home. There was running water and electricity, more than he’d ever had on his own before.
Tony left quickly and walked to the bakery. When the bell rang above the door, Donata, Ruth, and Kate looked toward the sound.
“Tony,” Kate yelped and ran into his arms.
Tony grabbed on to Kate and breathed in her scent. A warm sensation rushed through him.
“I’ve missed you so much, Kate,” he said quietly.
Tony unraveled his arms from Kate’s waist and strode over to Donata. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. “How’ve ya been?”
Donata covered her mouth with a trembling hand. A tear slid down her cheek. “We’re doin’ the best we can. We sure did miss ya around here,” she admitted.
“Thanks for takin’ care of Kate,” Tony said, glancing at Ruth, who was standing behind the counter with her hands on her hips. “I think somebody is waitin’ to say hello to me.”
Tony walked over slowly. “How’s my best girl?”
Ruth studied him closely. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you come to see us? I was in the hospital for a long time, and you only came once.”
“What? You’re mad at me?”
Ruth crossed her arms over her chest. She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes. Time seemed to slow as the young girl considered the question. “Yeah, I’m kinda mad at you. I mean, I was waiting for you to come back, but you didn’t.”
“Don’t be mad at me, Ruth. I had to take care of some business. So I can take care of myself. Ya know, pay for my own food and have a place to live.”
“You don’t look like you’re taking care of yourself,” she said, eyeing his dirty clothing.
Tony grabbed his T-shirt and gave it a strong sniff. “Peeeee-uuuuu. I smell pretty bad, huh? But you know what? I’m doin’ much better now.”
“Are you going to be around from now on, or do you have to go away and ‘do business’ again?”
“Nope, I’m back for good. Now can I have a hug?”
Ruth burst into tears and threw her arms around Tony’s neck. He lifted her into the air. Tony gently put her back down and addressed them all. He tilted his chin up and tucked his hands under his armpits. “I got an apartment over on North Broad Street and a job too.”
“What? You have an apartment?” Kate said.
“Yep, it ain’t much, but we can fix it up and make it a home,” he confirmed.
Kate’s eyes grew larger. She blinked slowly, her long lashes accentuating her amazing blue eyes. “We?”
“Yeah, we. You and me. Once we get it fixed, we can have Donata and Ruth over for dinner,” he rambled.
Donata loudly forced the air out of her lungs.
Tony turned toward her. “I know this has been hard. But everything is gonna get better now. I promise.”
Donata and Ruth joined Tony and Kate. “We’re happy for ya, Tony,” Donata said.
Donata gently slid her hand down Kate’s arm. “Ya better go upstairs and get your things together. Your boyfriend here has come to take ya home.”
As Kate packed, Ruth lay on the bed and chatted with her. By the time they came back downstairs, Donata had packed a large bag of breads and pastries for the couple. They all walked to the door together, promising to see each other later in the week.
Tony and Kate left the bakery and walked the first block in silence, both wondering what the future held and excited to leave the past behind.
“How did you get away from the Slayers?” Kate asked.
“Johnny Morano,” he stated simply.
“Will you work for him now?”
“Yeah, that’s the deal.”
“Deal?”
“Yeah, the only way I could get him to help me was to make a deal. If he got me out, I’d work for ’im. Ain’t no big thing. Salvatore and Vincent have been working for him a long time.”
“Right. So are you sure you’re ready to live with me?”
Tony glanced at Kate sideways. His eyes sparkled with freedom. “I never wanted anythin’ more in my life.”
Chapter Ninety
Tony unlocked the apartment door and followed Kate inside. Her fingers glided over her forehead and gripped the front of her hair; she lifted it away from her face and held it at the top of her head.
Tony put Kate’s bags down and nervously walked deeper into the kitchen. “It ain’t the best, but we can clean it up. Make it our own.” He held his breath, waiting for her to turn around and run.
Kate walked across the kitchen. The trash crunched under her feet. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting this. I mean, you’re right—with some hard work we can make it better.” She gave Tony a weak smile and rubbed her palms on her jeans.
They placed Kate’s bags on the love seat and set out to shop for the essentials they needed. When they returned to the apartment, they started with the kitchen. They bagged up the trash, and kept the things they could use. It took most of the morning to clear out the garbage before they could clean.
Tony was on his hands and knees as he wiped down the cabinet doors. He stopped scrubbing and looked over at Kate, who was washing the few dishes they had salvaged from the previous tenants.
“I wish I coulda got us somethin’ better. You know, a nicer place to live.”
Kate walked over to him, bent, and kissed him. “It’s not the nicest place on earth, but it’s our place. We have to start somewhere. When we’re done, it’ll be perfect.”
Tony took Kate by the hand and led her to the bedroom. He threw the sheet they had bought at the Goodwill overtop and sat. Kate stood over him, and he grabbed her hand, gently pulling her down to him. Their limbs were entangled as they passionately kissed.
Tony pulled away from Kate and looked into her blue eyes. “There’s somethin’ I gotta tell ya.”
Tony’s tone of voice made Kate sit up. Her back was straight, and she pulled her knees to her chest and held them there with her arms. “What? Is something wrong?”
Tony’s shoulders slumped, and he lay back on the mattress, staring at the cracked ceiling above him. “No, well, yeah, somethin’ is wrong. Some bad shit happened to me, and I think ya oughta know about it. I mean, we gotta be honest wit’ each other, right?”
Kate put her hand on his chest. “It can’t be that bad. Come on—tell me.”
“It’s about when I was in juvie. I was…I was…ya know, the guards did things to me.”
“What kinds of things?”
“Sex things,” he admitted.
Kate gasped and immediately put her hand over her mouth. “How? I mean, how could that happen?”
“Jail is a real nasty place. It’s just like the streets. Really bad shit happens, and ya can’t figure out what cha did.”
“How many times?” Kate asked, wanting to hear that his horrific suffering was brief.
“Lots of times. Once it started, it was every day. I wanted ya to know ’cause you’re the first girl I ever had sex wit’. I’m learning how to love, ya know, and to have sex. When we made love the first time, it was great. Made me feel normal.”
Kate put her warm hand on his cool cheek. “You are normal. Those assholes who hurt you are the ones that aren’t normal.” She clutched his chin in her hand and pulled his face toward her. “Whatever happened to you was horrible. You didn’t do anything to deserve it. My mother taught me that people do shitty things to other people because they know they can get away with it. That’s why she was so worried about me in my neighborhood.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I wanted ya to know ’cause sometimes I remember what they did to me when we’re together. That makes me feel real weird ’bout it all. It scares me. Makes me feel like I don’t know what I’m doin’.”
Kate’s chin tilted to her chest. “These men hurt you really bad?”
“You have no idea, Kate. They used me like a piece of meat. Took turns wit’ me like I was a ride at an amusement park. They stole my spirit. I wanted to die. My life felt over until I met ya. You’re the only good thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“That’s not true. You have Salvatore and Vincent; they’re good friends.”
“You’re right. But that’s different. I love ’em and all, but it’s different wit’ you. When I was in juvie, I was afraid that I’d never be able to be wit’ a girl. Made me real confused…and embarrassed. Even tellin’ ya makes me feel weak, like I’m a little pussy.”
Kate lay down next to Tony and put her head on his chest. “It doesn’t make you weak. You were able to get through it. Getting through fucked-up shit just makes you stronger. Look at all that you’ve done for me. I would be alone right now if you hadn’t come along and saw past the girl who was always hidden under the hood of her sweatshirt. You were going through your own stuff but stopped to help me when those bitches were kicking my ass.” Kate let out a light giggle. “You know what it’s like to be in agony, and that made you want to stop my agony. I think you’re very brave.”
Tony smirked. “Brave. That’s not how I see myself. Seems like people are always havin’ to save me. First the Slayers saved me; then Johnny Morano had to save me from them. Same shit when I was a kid. Ya know?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all need saving. For me, that’s the difference between good and evil. We all do bad things, have bad thoughts, but when the time comes when someone needs our help, we step up to it. Look at how much you’ve given to Donata and Ruth.”
Tony pulled Kate closer to him. “I just wanted ya to know. Seein’ that we’re livin’ together, I didn’t think it was good to have secrets.” After a long pause, he continued, “Seemed like the right thing to do. I’ve been pushin’ it all down since it happened, but I was afraid that someday ya might think somethin’ is wrong and wanted ya to know what I’m workin’ out in my head.”
“I don’t know anything about what you went through, but I do know that I love you and that you can count on me to help you work through it. The fact that you shared this with me makes me love you even more.”
Tony flinched. “I don’t get that. Why would ya love me more? That don’t make no sense.”
“Because you shared your secret with me. You put yourself on the line and let me see what makes you the person that you are, which is wonderful.”
“Yeah, well, there’s more. I wouldn’t be able to hide it from ya. I have nightmares. I wake up scared and sweaty,” he admitted.
“How long have you been having nightmares?”
“Since I got outta juvie. Vincent used to wake me up from them when I lived at his house for a while.”
“Did you have them when you lived with the Slayers?”
Tony nodded. “I got lucky. Had two pretty good friends there, Blast and Smoke. The first time I sat up yellin’ in the middle of the night, they woke up and talked to me. From then on, when I had a nightmare, one of ’em would wake me up to stop it.”
“Did you tell Smoke and Blast what happened to you?”
“Sorta. I told ’em that things happened in juvie, and they didn’t ask me any more questions.”
Tony and Kate lay silently, lost in their own thoughts. Then they heard a soft knock at their door.
Tony moved off of the bed. “You comin’?”
Kate lifted her hand up, and Tony pulled her to her feet. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her forward, kissing her softly on the lips.
“I’ve never been so happy,” he said.
“Me too. It’s a new beginning for both of us. We’re gonna be together forever,” she said, squeezing him tightly.
The couple moseyed to the door, where Salvatore and Vincent were waiting. Tony pulled it open and greeted his friends.
“We brought shit,” Vincent said, raising the bags he was holding in the air.
“Oh yeah? What kinda shit?” Tony mused.
The two boys had a couple bags of groceries from the Italian Market.
Salvatore put two more bags on the kitchen counter and pointed to them. “These are clothes for you to wear. Vincent and I went through our stuff so that you’d have something else to wear besides
those filthy rags on your back.”
Tony grabbed the bags from the counter and pulled out a shirt he knew had belonged to Vincent. “Did ya wash this stuff?” he joked.
“Hey, fuck you, Tony. My mother washes my clothes, so don’t be questionin’ her. She’s a damn good clothes washer,” Vincent quipped.
Salvatore looked around the kitchen. “Hey, you two did a great job. It looks much better.”
“Yeah.” Tony draped his arm over Kate’s shoulder. “We make a good team.”
“You know, I was thinking this morning that we have to go back to school soon,” Salvatore stated.
Vincent grunted.
“Yeah, it’ll be good to graduate high school. Start working full time, and, you know, move on with life,” Salvatore said. “Are you going back to finish, Kate?”
She blushed and turned her eyes away from them all. “No. I decided to take my GED. I’m going to find a job; we need the money.”
“Ya don’t need to do that, Kate. Ya need to finish school,” Tony said.
“Getting a GED is just like finishing high school. Besides, that’s what I want to do.”
Kate grabbed the grocery bags from the counter and put things away. She didn’t want to talk about it with any of them. She had decided, and that was that. Besides, being underage made it impossible for her to return to school. Where would she tell them she lived? Who would be her guardian? Kate would do nothing to jeopardize her life with Tony.
Tony watched Kate as she unloaded the groceries, while his friends yammered about the things they wanted to do before summer officially ended. He couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying because he was preoccupied by his own thoughts. I will do anything to make Kate happy. I love her so much it hurts.
Chapter Ninety-One
Just as Johnny Morano had stated, Tony was tied to the mob and executed the demands placed upon him. On the day following Tony’s freedom from the Slayers, Salvatore and Vincent brought him around South Philadelphia to introduce him to the store owners indebted to the mob. Tony was taught that store owners bought their goods at inflated prices in addition to paying the mob to protect them. This protection included being shielded from any problems from the police and politicians on Johnny’s payroll.
Mean Little People Page 33