Outside, the sky was dark and cloudless, just a steady sea of gray. The air was thick with moisture, and the sunless space closed in on Tony. There was no longer a visible difference between the sky and the gray-colored dirt. The wind came in big billows of sizzling air. The tree branches with their long, bark-covered tentacles ebbed and flowed as if trying to snatch Tony’s soul from his motionless body.
Tony sat on the porch next to Kate’s body and took her in his arms as the sky began to weep. The rain came fast, turning the grassless ground into muddy pools of water. Tony put his hand on top of Kate’s. His eyes washed over her body, taking in the large patches of missing flesh. The hellish red-brown wedges of exposed skin stared back at him, taunting him, making him face the torture she’d endured.
Tony scooped Kate up tighter into his arms and stroked her dirty, matted-down hair, rocking back and forth.
Salvatore retrieved a blanket from the trunk of his car and draped it over Kate’s naked body. Then he sat next to Tony and put his arm over his friend’s shoulder. He had never seen Tony more saddened. His own heart broke as he thought of Kate alone and tormented by the animal restrained inside the house. Salvatore could see, from the condition of her body, that Kate’s suffering had been long and agonizing.
“Tony. I’m so sorry this happened. Vincent and I will be here for you—this is not something that you’ll face alone. My father has a very special death planned for that pussy boy in there,” Salvatore said, pointing to the front door. “Carnie will get the death that he deserves.”
Tony’s head hung, and then he let out a long, deep moan. He buried his face in his hands. The fear and isolation from his youth scratched and clawed its way into his body. He was alone again. He felt like the vulnerable second grader on the playground. Thoughts of a life without Kate kept slamming into his brain again and again. Normally, he would have swelled with raging anger, but now his regretful sadness overshadowed his anger. Facing a future without Kate was bleak and pointless. Tony lifted his head, and his tears flowed freely. He sobbed, and his chest heaved back and forth. He let out a groan that sounded like a wounded animal’s and then finally spoke to his friends. “I shoulda been wit’ her. It’s my fault. Carnie killed her to get back at me.”
Salvatore and Vincent locked eyes. Neither of them was equipped to deal with Tony’s loss. Grief covered their faces. The pain and defeat was strangling the life out of Tony. His sorrow was so profound that they were not sure they’d be able to help him. Tony was inconsolable, a broken man.
Salvatore searched his own soul, willing himself to be strong for Tony. “We will destroy this barbarian, Tony. We will take the time to make sure that Kate and the baby didn’t die in vain. We will make him suffer.”
Tony felt like there was a black hole where his heart had been. The darkness of his reality closed in on him like a vice; it grabbed on to his soul, crushed it and ripped it from his body. “That ain’t gonna bring her back, though. Ain’t nothin’ gonna bring back my beautiful Kate. I lost her for good, forever. I ain’t never gonna see her again. When she needed me most, I wasn’t there for her. I brought this to her. She paid for somethin’ that was meant for me. Why didn’t he just come after me? I’m the one who shoulda died, not Kate…not our baby.”
Vincent sat next to Tony on the splintered wooden steps of the front porch. “Ya couldn’t have known. None of us knew this bastard was gonna go after Kate. We woulda never let her be alone if any of us thought she was in danger. We all loved Kate. Ya can’t blame yourself for this, Tony. It ain’t gonna do ya no good—it’ll ruin your life.”
“My life is already ruined,” Tony cried. “Ain’t nothin’ ever gonna be the same again. I lost the only woman who ever loved me for who I am. I can’t get that again. I’d rather be dead then be wit’out Kate. I promised Kate she’d always be safe wit’ me. I didn’t protect her. Don’t cha get it, Vincent?”
Salvatore and Vincent were silent, each remembering Kate’s youth and beauty. Neither of them had the skills to soothe Tony’s helplessness.
“We’re gonna get through this, Tony,” Vincent finally said.
Tony shook his head, and his heaving, gut-twisting sobs filled the country air. It was as if suddenly the wildlife, trees, and grass stood still. The only sound that could be heard was Tony’s anguished cries of mourning and regret.
Tony sobbed. “Just let me be nothin’. That’s what I am. Nothin’.”
Salvatore and Vincent sat on either side of Tony, legs touching, squeezing him between them and trying to comfort him; it was all they knew how to do. Tony wailed relentlessly as his heart swam in a cesspool of bitter sadness. He cried for a long time, until his tears no longer fell.
A few hours later, two cars and a van pulled into the gravel driveway and slowly made their way toward the farmhouse. Two men from the Morano family got out and carried a long metal box into the barn as Tony sat on the porch, unable to move, paralyzed with remorse.
Chapter One Hundred Thirteen
Inside the farmhouse, two family soldiers watched over Carnie, waiting for orders from Salvatore. After Salvatore placed Kate’s body in the back of his car, the three men went back inside the farmhouse.
Salvatore stood on the porch and looked at Tony. “I’m going inside. To see that motherfucker,” Salvatore said.
Tony silently stood and opened the front door. He walked into the kitchen before Salvatore.
“Why would ya do this to my wife, ya fuckin’ crazy fuck-ass?” Tony screamed.
Carnie smiled. “Your wife was delicious.”
Vincent punched Carnie in the face. “He asked ya a question. Answer him.”
Carnie held his eerie smile. He swirled his tongue over his bloody teeth in a menacing way. “Mmmm,” he hummed. “There’s nothing like the taste of blood from a woman with child.”
Tony leaned in, his face twisted. “You fucked wit’ the wrong person.”
Carnie broke into a fit of psychotic laughter.
“You fucking, insane bitch,” Salvatore screamed as he strode toward Carnie. He curled up his hand and smashed Carnie in the nose, breaking it on impact.
Tony stood by, watching. He was trapped between mourning his wife and child and a raging fire that burned inside of him. For a moment, Tony’s anger won out over his sadness, and he stood directly over Carnie. Tony wrapped his large hands around his throat and strangled him.
Before it was too late, Vincent tugged Tony off of him. “No, Tony. We got other plans for this scum-suckin’ pig.”
Tony knew Vincent was right. He glared at Carnie. “Why would ya do this to an innocent girl? Why didn’t ya come after me?”
“Because I could have never harmed you enough. The only way to get back at you for what happened to Razor was to hurt those that you love the most. Now you can see how clever I am, right? Besides, an eye for an eye, motherfucker,” Carnie recited.
“You fuck. You rotten, dirty, woman-killin’ fuck. You’re gonna pay for this,” Tony said, seething.
The family soldiers who had arrived earlier closed in around Carnie.
Salvatore turned to his soldiers. His eyes were like steel. “Cut his fucking clothes off.”
When Carnie lay naked on the metal table, Salvatore grabbed his balls, strangling and twisting them in his large hand. Carnie squealed like a wild boar. Salvatore let the flesh roll from his hand. He turned and grabbed Tony by the arm and went back outside.
Two soldiers blindfolded Carnie as he lay upon the same cold steel table where Kate had lain being tortured and eaten alive.
Over two days, persuaded by violent measures, Carnie admitted to everything that he’d done to Kate. The details of what had happened to Kate further enraged Tony. Beyond disgusted and overwhelmed by his loss, he asked Salvatore to watch over Johnny’s plan for Carnie’s fate.
Tony stood to the side of the porch as the soldiers dragged Carnie out to a rotting, bug-infested barn, where buzzing flies multiplied by the minute. The mob soldiers did as the
y were instructed. They forced Carnie, still naked, into the long box they had brought with them. When he was inside, they screwed the lid on. The long metal box was shaped like a narrow coffin. The box had a lid that covered Carnie’s whole body, leaving an opening just large enough to see his face.
The soldiers smeared a mixture of honey and milk on Carnie’s face and stood back. The flies swarmed his face while he screamed. Carnie banged his arms on the sides of the box. The confined space left him barely any room to move.
The soldiers fed Carnie, promising that he would be let out of the box when he’d paid penance for his crime against Tony’s wife and unborn child.
“You’re lying. You guys aren’t going to let me out of here,” Carnie said, starting to lose his senses, rejecting the food they brought to him.
“Look, all we know is what we was told. That guy over there…” the solider said, pointing to Salvatore, “said ya gotta pay the price before we let ya outta here.”
“Fine, I’ll eat, but if you’re lying to me, I’ll find you and eat you,” Carnie threatened.
Before long, Carnie was shitting and pissing inside the box from the food and drink the soldiers continued to give him. Besides the cuts on his face and chest left by the mobsters during their interrogation, sores developed from lying in his own waste. His urine and feces enticed the flies further, and they fed on Carnie’s waste. Soon, the flies began to lay eggs, which hatched into maggots. The maggots fed on the open wounds that now covered much of Carnie’s body. At first, the flies and maggots tickled his skin, making his desire to scratch verge on painful. Then he felt his flesh being eaten away, one tiny bite at a time. Losing all courage, he begged the soldiers to let him out of the box, insisting he’d paid for his crime. His pleas were ignored.
Johnny Morano arrived five days into the torture. He looked down on Carnie. “You’re a sorry prick. What kind of man kills an innocent woman, let alone a woman who’s pregnant? I’ll tell you what kind of man that is—the kind that doesn’t deserve to live.”
“You can’t kill me. The Slayers won’t stand for it. Razor and his boys will hunt you down and kill you,” Carnie threatened.
“Razor is dead. I saw to it myself. The Slayers—well, let’s just say that they have been warned. I think I’ll be safe,” Johnny said with a sneer.
“Those guys over there said they were going to let me out of here,” Carnie said, hearing the ridiculousness of his own words.
Johnny looked at the two soldiers, who smiled back at him. “What? You believed these guys? They were just messing with you. To be clear, you’ve reached the end. The more you suffer, the better we will all feel.”
Johnny gave Carnie a grave, disapproving stare and walked away. When Johnny found Tony, he gave him a quick hug.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Tony.”
“Yeah, thanks. She woulda never died if it weren’t for me,” Tony said for the hundredth time.
Johnny put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. For the first time ever, his eyes softened as he looked at Tony. “Sometimes things go seriously wrong in our lives. This is one of those times. There is nothing more we can do but to execute that prick in the worst way possible. Once that is finished, you will come back and heal. I’ll give you some time to do that, but you will need to get your shit together and move on from this devastating tragedy. We are all here to avenge Kate’s death and the death of your child. That’s the best we can do.”
Tony looked at Johnny Morano and nodded halfheartedly.
Johnny patted Tony’s arm. “Like I said, I will give you time to grieve and wallow in your misery. Then I will expect you to come back to the family as the man you were before all of this happened.”
Tony’s lower lip quivered, and tears streamed over his prominent cheekbones. “I ain’t never gonna be that person again. Right now, I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I need time to think.”
Johnny Morano stood. “Of course, Tony. That’s what I just said: I’m giving you time to grieve.”
Johnny walked away from Tony and went over to Salvatore. “You make sure he gets his head back on straight. Understand?”
Salvatore nodded and resisted the urge to tell his father to go fuck himself.
Tony, Salvatore, and Vincent stayed at the farm, checking in on Carnie often so they could absorb the pain and agony forced upon him. Over the next several days, other members of the Morano family came to gawk at the dying Carnie as a sign of respect to Tony and the family he’d lost.
Remaining alert for ten days, Carnie was slowly eaten alive by maggots, until he died.
Tony thought about Kate as he stepped closer to the metal box where Carnie lay floating in a thick, putrid liquid, a mixture of waste, flesh, and blood. The extended, cruel death that Carnie had suffered gave him a speck of solace for a moment. Then his thoughts reverted back to Kate, and he felt the guilt hammer away at his insides for not protecting her. He would never forgive himself; he had failed the only woman he’d ever loved and perhaps the only child he would ever have.
Chapter One Hundred Fourteen
A week after Carnie’s slow and agonizing death, Tony had Kate and the baby cremated and held a small funeral at the same church they had used for Kate’s mother. Only the mobsters knew how Kate had died, all of the barbaric acts Carnie had performed leading to her death.
Tony had told his mother and sister that Kate had been hit by a car and died instantly while they were in New York. His mother and sister attended the funeral along with Donata and Ruth. Too lost in his grief, Tony blamed Kate’s death on himself. If only he had never been involved with the Slayers, Kate would still be alive.
“Here comes a couple of the Slayers. Have they lost their fuckin’ minds?” Vincent whispered to Salvatore. Both got out of the church pew and stood behind Tony, who was sitting between his mother and sister in the front pew.
Three Slayers walked up to Tony but extended no gesture of comfort. “You got what cha deserved. Your little club here took Razor from us. Killed a bunch of our men, all because of you. You’re a piece of shit. One day we’ll get even wit’ cha.”
“Hey, fuck you! Don’t talk to my son like that,” Tony’s mother said, moving closer to her son.
Vincent moved forward, but Salvatore grabbed his arm. “Let Tony’s mother have her say.”
Tony glared at the Slayers. He wasn’t afraid to die, and he didn’t care what anyone thought. He sat in the pew and remained eerily calm.
“Don’t ya ever talk to my boy like that,” Teresa said through clenched teeth. She looked up to the high ceiling of the church and made the sign of the cross. “I’ll beat your fuckin’ ass right here before the Lord our God, you no-good motherfuckers. God, forgive me for sayin’ such things in your house. But if these no-good scabs say another nasty thing to my boy, I’m gonna lose my shit.”
Tony was surprised at his mother’s burst of anger. He wished she’d do the same to his father. “Ma, it’s OK. Ya ain’t gotta get involved in this.” Tony gave Salvatore and Vincent a knowing look. They stepped in, guns under their suit jackets, and escorted the Slayers outside.
The Slayers got into their car, but before leaving the one in the passenger seat rolled down the window. “This ain’t over. Ya tell your people we’re comin’ for ’em. Ya hear me?” he yelled as the car pulled out of the church lot.
Shortly after three o’clock the next morning, while Tony and Smoke sat at the kitchen table in Tony’s apartment, the Slayers’ house exploded. At Tony’s request, Salvatore had convinced Johnny Morano to spare Smoke from dying with the other gang members.
“After all, Dad, Smoke is the only one of those assholes who tried to save Kate,” Salvatore explained.
Salvatore and Vincent had sat in their car at a distance with the mob soldiers who’d planted the bombs. They watched the flames reach up high into the dark night, grabbing the Slayers’ souls and pulling them into the blazing fires of the underworld, where lowlifes are tortured for all eternity. Then Sa
lvatore started the car engine and drove to Tony’s apartment, where he informed him that the Slayers were gone for good.
Early the next day, Tony lay restless in his bed, wondering how he would go on without Kate and how he would face his nightmares alone.
Till the End
Tony’s life had become black. Not even the glaring sun shining in his face could penetrate the darkness inside of him. He stood at the edge of the water, the casinos of Atlantic City, New Jersey, stalking him from behind. Salvatore and Vincent stood several feet behind Tony, giving him the space he needed to say good-bye to Kate and his child. The ocean lapped toward his feet as he stood just out of its reach.
Tony put his hand over his heart as the water ebbed and flowed, soothing him, just as it had comforted Kate when she was alive. The sounds of the ocean made him feel safer somehow, not so alone in the world. The endless body of water provided solace—it didn’t judge or demand anything from him. The ocean gave Tony the reassurance he longed for and quieted his aching soul.
Tony watched the waves in the far distance. He closed his eyes and imagined Kate standing next to him, holding his hand, and his loneliness drained away. Kate would always be a part of him, and he knew without a doubt she would live on through him. He opened the plastic bag nestled inside the cardboard box that housed her and their child’s ashes.
Tony stepped into the water, and the waves welcomed him into their home. The cold of the ocean numbed him quickly. He liked being numb; it was better than feeling. He opened the bag and let the ashes pour into the water that hungrily jumped up and grabbed Kate and the baby, taking them to their final resting place.
Tony turned his head up to the sun. “I love ya, Kate. I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you like I promised and that I let you die. I ain’t never gonna forgive myself for your death. I suppose being alone is the least I deserve. I’d give my life if you and our baby could be here again. Ya ain’t gotta worry ’bout me; I’m gonna be OK. I know what I gotta do, and I’m gonna make ya real proud. I swear. I ain’t never gonna forget about cha. There ain’t another girl in this whole world who can replace ya. Thanks for teachin’ me how to love and be loved. I’ll miss ya forever. Till the end.”
Mean Little People Page 41