by Mia Caldwell
Chapter Forty-Six
COLIN DECIDED TO STAY IN Switzerland indefinitely.
It had been several weeks since Sabela left the chalet. He threw himself into his work, and when he wasn’t working, he drank his way through most of the liquor in the chalet and slept heavily in drunken stupors.
The liquor dulled the pain, and silenced his conscience. More now than ever, he knew his mother wouldn’t approve of what he’d done.
Both Bruno and Marie had silently shown, with their expressions, that they didn’t approve of his behavior either. Colin cared more than he’d admit that his servants’ opinions mattered to him.
Colin wasn’t sure what to do next. He had spent so long thinking about exacting revenge on Trevor Vaughn, and, in the end, he had ended up losing both of the women that he cared about. It made a certain amount of karmic sense.
He wasn’t sure what the future could have held between him and Sabela, but he had let it go. He had pushed her away and encouraged her to leave. Worse, he had been cruel.
She left him, and he couldn’t blame her. He could blame losing Blanca on Trevor, but he had no one to blame for losing Sabela but himself.
Sabela had shown the kind of backbone that Blanca lacked. If Blanca had possessed the strength to call himself and Trevor out on their bullshit like Sabela did, Blanca would still be alive.
Instead, she had led Trevor on and let him believe that there might be something more than friendship between them. She’d been the kind of girl who was sweet, but who craved attention, and Trevor had given her plenty of that. He’d picked up the slack while Colin was working a thousand miles away.
But no matter how often Trevor was there for her, it didn’t excuse what he had done. Blanca had never intended to leave Colin, and this knowledge made all the difference in the world.
He’d only recently begun to truly understand the past, to look at it from a different angle and see what he’d missed before.
As for Sabela, Trevor was right when he’d sneered that she was too good for Colin. Those words stopped him every time he picked up his cellphone in a drunken haze, wanting to call Sabela and apologize.
He let Sabela go because he was destined to hurt her, again and again. No matter what he did, his temper always got the best of him. She deserved better than that.
And him? He deserved to be alone.
So alone he sat, staring into the flickering flames of the fireplace. They danced for him, beautiful, but dangerous. If he got too close, they’d burn him.
Marie carried in a tray and set it down on the side table. On it were two slices of toast, lightly buttered.
“You need to eat. You’re going to pickle yourself if you don’t eat something,” she insisted.
She’d said the same thing for the last few days, and Colin was tired of hearing it. True he had barely eaten anything since Sabela had left, but he wasn’t hungry.
All he felt was hollow.
“Leave me be,” he said.
“You act as if you don’t have a choice,” Marie said with a stern tone in her voice.
Colin glanced up at her, irritation knitting his brows together. “Of course I have a choice, Marie. You can’t force me to eat toast I don’t want.”
Marie, usually so docile, rolled her eyes. Colin was taken aback by her sass.
“I meant you have a choice about what to do next, Colin. You know where Sabela is. You just have to go and get her.”
Never before had she called him by his first name. What had happened to the professional housekeeper he knew? Colin blinked, trying to judge if the liquor was making him hallucinate.
He knew it wasn’t. He rubbed his face. “It’s not that simple, Marie.”
Marie crossed her arms over her chest. “It is that simple. Sabela cares about you, and you care about her. You might even be in love with her.”
Love. The bottom dropped out of Colin’s stomach, and he opened his mouth to reply without knowing what to say. Marie cut him off.
“I know it’s scary, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world, and you’re missing out on it by being a … a …”
“Take care. You do still work for me,” Colin interrupted. “For what it’s worth, I know I’m missing out. That’s beside the point. I have to stay away from her. I’m only ever going to hurt her.”
“She’s going to make some man very lucky someday,” Marie said in a wistful tone.
The idea of Sabela being with another man twisted at Colin’s gut. “Yes, you’re right. She will.”
“It’s too bad it can’t be you. I thought you made a handsome couple,” Marie said. “Haberlin is lonely without her laughter.”
Colin agreed with her. And Sabela had made him feel young again and unencumbered by the world. He’d felt nothing but cold and useless since she left.
“I heard that she was accepted into fashion school, you know. A very prestigious program in New York City,” Marie said suddenly.
Colin’s eyebrows raised.
“You’ve talked to her.”
Marie looked at him as if he had grown another head. “Of course, I’ve talked to her. She was a lovely girl, and I’m delighted that we’re staying in touch. It’s incredible how quickly the admissions people responded, but they could obviously see how talented she is. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“That is wonderful,” he said. He realized that Sabela was already moving on. Moving on and leaving him behind.
Good for her. So why did it hurt like hell?
“You helped her see a path that maybe she couldn’t have seen on her own. You should remember that,” Marie said. “You helped her.”
Message delivered, she gave him a small nod and left.
There was a lot to think about. Colin wanted Sabela to do better for herself, and now she was doing just that.
She had wanted him to let go of his past, and he’d refused to budge. Even though he’d sought to destroy her, she hadn’t allowed him to tear her down. Even after all he’d done she was soaring.
Colin rubbed at his eyes with his thumb and index finger, thinking it through.
All this time he’d wanted to use Sabela as a pawn in his game, but between the two of them, she was the one who had advanced to the next level.
He was a throwaway piece already discarded, used up and worthless.
But it wasn’t too late to change that. Was it?
He picked up a piece of toast and ate it while he thought things through. Maybe it was true that not everything he’d done had been bad for Sabela. Maybe he had helped her in ways he didn’t realize.
Maybe he wasn’t as toxic as he feared.
Colin swallowed the last of the toast and stood up. He looked at his watch. If he got ready quickly, he could be back in Brent Grove in less than twelve hours.
He had to see Sabela, and the sooner, the better.
Chapter Forty-Seven
SABELA KNEW ONE THING FOR certain: the second day of double shifts was always the most brutal. Unless there was a third day. Or a fourth.
Sabela didn’t mind it as much as she used to, though. Work got her out of her apartment and kept her from thinking about Colin. Ever since she had returned from Switzerland, distracting herself from the memory of Colin became a top priority.
But it wasn’t just that. It was nice that for once, the double shifts were for something that was important to her future: design school.
As she wiped down a booth and thought about how much she looked forward to getting home, soaking her feet, and falling into bed, she considered how much her life had changed in so short a time.
When she got home from Switzerland, she and Trevor had a heart-to-heart. Well, not so much a heart-to-heart as it was a gentle ass-kicking.
Either Trevor needed to get a job and start thinking about getting his own place, or Sabela was going to kick him out. The rules were clear, and she was going to enforce them no matter what.
Okay, the kicking out part prob
ably wouldn’t actually happen, but both of them knew that she would do everything in her power to make his life very uncomfortable. And besides, she’d be leaving for school before long, and he’d need to be able to fend for himself by then.
To his credit, Trevor hadn’t acted angry or immature about it. He realized that the jig was up. They both knew that he was far more mobile than he had let on. All this time he’d been pretending to be more hurt than he really was in order to wallow in his losses, and had, as a result, taken advantage of Sabela.
She was willing to forgive him, but she wasn’t willing to keep being his dupe.
Some time apart would do them both good. Now more than ever, she needed a fresh start. And a fresh start was exactly what she was going to get in New York.
Her life was changing for the better, but there was one gaping hole in it.
“So when do you go to school?” Rachel, one of the other waitresses at Pinkie’s, asked her when they met behind the counter.
“Assuming I can save enough money, I’m planning to start in three months,” Sabela replied. “I have to move and find a new job and a new apartment in the city, though.”
Rachel hugged her quickly, balancing a stack of plates on her other arm. “I’m so excited for you. It’s great to see somebody get out of here.”
Sabela nodded with a smile, but the joy didn’t make it to her eyes. Sometimes, she felt like she was just going through the motions.
Moving on was taking its toll on her, no matter how much she wanted to say it wasn’t.
Still, she refused to live her life with regrets. If anything, it was the lesson she took away from her time with Colin. Even lessons learned the hard way were valuable in retrospect.
She continued on through her shift, mind on how wonderful a bath would be instead of on what she was doing.
Unfortunately, her body remembered what it was like to bathe with a certain someone else.
Sabela’s mind drifted off into those warm thoughts, remembering how magical it had felt being with Colin. Her body hummed with want when she thought about their time together in his bed.
He had made everything in her world vibrant. Now he was gone, and she was washed out, gray.
She shook her head. Those types of thoughts weren’t helping her move on. If anything, they brought her more pain.
She needed to forget about Colin Morgan, and Switzerland, and everything she’d done there.
She didn’t regret it, but it did her no good to live in the past. The past was what had destroyed Colin and turned him into a beast that Sabela couldn’t save.
There were just a few minutes left on the clock when Rachel came up to her.
“There’s a guy in my section who wanted to sit in yours but saw the sign that it was closed. He’s refusing to order unless you wait on him.”
Sabela sighed. Was it Mike, Lloyd, or Buttons? All three of them were crotchety old men who refused to be served unless she waited on them.
Right now, Sabela wasn’t sure she could tolerate the lecherous flirtation. “I’m getting ready to go home, Rachel. Can’t you sweet talk him into letting you help him?”
“He gave me twenty bucks to leave him alone and get you. Can’t you take one more order, please?”
Sabela just wanted to go home, but she understood the value of twenty bucks. Rachel needed the money badly, and Sabela didn’t want to keep her from a tip like that.
“You owe me,” she whispered under her breath as Rachel beamed at her.
If it was Buttons sitting there, Sabela was going to give him a piece of her mind. She still remembered the crude drawing he’d left for her last time, and while she knew he was a prankster, there was no excuse for being plain rude.
But it wasn’t Buttons in Rachel’s section, nor was it Mike or Lloyd.
Colin sat there, staring at her.
Sabela stopped in her tracks. Her heart leaped up into her throat.
He stood up and straightened his suit jacket. Dressed as sharp as he was, he looked completely out of place in the diner, but in a good way. A very good, very hot way.
He looked so handsome it hurt her heart.
“Join me,” he said, gesturing to the booth.
Sabela didn’t know what to do.
Chapter Forty-Eight
EVEN THOUGH HE HAD GOTTEN TO the diner as quickly as he could, Colin had made time to dress the part. This would be the most important conversation of his life, so he wore a fine suit, and he had stopped and picked up flowers on the way. They were lilies, which he knew were Sabela’s favorite.
The bouquet waited for her on the table.
While in the car, he called ahead to the diner to make sure that he knew when Sabela was working. He realized that he was going to arrive right around the time her shift ended.
He hadn’t seen her when he entered, but that didn’t deter him. A generous tip could fix just about any problem, and it proved to be true on this day.
When he saw Sabela round the corner, his mouth went dry and he nearly forgot to speak. It wasn’t until she stood at the end of the booth that he found his tongue.
Marie was right — he was crazy about Sabela.
It was something that felt a lot like love, and a lot more real than anything he’d experienced with Blanca. He’d loved Blanca like a boy loves a girl. His feelings for Sabela were those of a man for a woman.
When she saw him, for a moment he thought that she was going to turn around and leave. Colin rose and invited her over, but the look in her eyes was uncertain, and he feared she might back away.
To his relief, she didn’t.
She slid onto the bench without a word and looked across at him with wounded eyes. The expression on her face told him that she was worried about why he was there.
He thought she dreaded he’d come to do something to her, something cruel again. It made him ill that his actions had led her to think about him in a suspicious way.
He wanted to ease all of that fear away. There were things he needed to say that she needed to hear, and he didn’t want her running before he had a chance to say them.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. Her gaze flickered toward the flowers on the table.
“I needed to see you,” he said.
“You didn’t have to come here. You could have just called.”
“Talking over the phone isn’t the same as talking face to face. And calling wouldn’t make anything right. I’m here because I need to tell you how sorry I am. Nothing I could say to you over the phone would do justice to proving it to you in person.”
Her lips formed into a tight, straight line. “Could’ve fooled me. Oh, wait. That’s a dumb thing to say. You always fool me.”
He reached for her and touched her forearm, and she trembled. He longed to sweep her into his arms, but he knew that was impossible.
“I was angry and hurt when I found out what your brother had done,” he said. “But since you left, I realized that it doesn’t matter what actually happened. Blanca is gone, and I’ve been obsessed with a ghost.”
Colin paused to take a deep breath. There was no reason for Sabela to believe him, apart from the fact that he was here to fight for her.
“She’s in the past, and she’s staying in the past. You are the one that I want in my future, Sabela.”
She drew her lower lip into her mouth as she considered his words. “But you said that your revenge plot never changed. That you were using me all along.”
It was true. Colin dropped his gaze and slumped his shoulders. “I did say that, but it was spoken in anger. I never really meant it, and it wasn’t true. I was so beside myself that I wasn’t thinking straight; all I wanted to do was hurt Trevor, and I did that in any way I could. It was wrong of me to do it. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. You were and are blameless in everything, past and present.”
When she didn’t speak, he lifted his gaze and looked into her eyes. It was difficult to gauge her emotions, but he hoped she knew th
at what he said was sincere.
“I want you to be with me,” he said. “I want you to cook that duck recipe for me, and I want to take you around the world and experience everything with you. I don’t want to be apart anymore. Life is empty without you.”
He continued. “Most of all, I want to be honest with you, to be the man you saw in me before I blew it out of anger and old pain. What I’m saying is, I hope you’ll give me a second chance to show you that I mean it this time. I want to prove myself to you. I have to.”
There was a long silence between them.
“Well, I guess it’s a third chance, now. I really have screwed this up royally, haven’t I?” he asked.
Sabela stared at the table, hiding her expression from him. Colin’s heart pounded like he’d run a marathon, and he longed to know what was going on in her head.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the king of the screw-ups,” she said at last. “And probably the heir apparent, as well. And the secret bastard son no one talks about.”
The laugh burst from his lips before he could stop it, and Colin slapped a hand over his mouth. Sabela looked up, eyes glistening with tears, and she laughed, too.
He couldn’t believe it, but it was possible everything was going to be okay.
Colin didn’t know what he’d done to deserve luck like this, but he was thankful nonetheless. With only minutes spent in Sabela’s company, he already felt alive again.
His laugh was genuine, and his entire person warmed. She had already started to heal his aching soul.
Wanting to be close, he switched benches so that they sat side by side, then he gathered her up into his arms. They embraced, and he laid his chin on the top of her head.
Other diners watched them, but Colin didn’t care. He wanted everyone to know what he felt for the beautiful woman in his arms.
“You, Sabela Vaughn, are my future, and I couldn’t be happier.”
She looked up at him then, the tears in her eyes brighter than ever.
“And to prove it, I will move wherever you want to go to school,” he said. “We’ll live in New York together, and while you’re pursuing all of your dreams, I’ll be there to offer you my full support.”