Dan put on his hat and closed the door. “Dinner with Miss Carrie Hart? You bet I’m ready.”
Matt felt the same way about Pearl but wished he didn’t. Tonight he’d be wise to focus on the other business at hand, which meant carving out a private talk with Tobias. From his conversations with Pearl, he’d learned the minister had attended a G.O. meeting and found the gathering troublesome. When Matt had mentioned the vigilante attacks at the Silver Slipper to Pearl, she’d reacted with outrage and said her father felt the same way. Matt was fairly certain he could trust Tobias. Whether the man would volunteer for a risky mission remained to be seen.
Dan mounted his roan and they rode to Carrie’s house. Instead of thinking about how to approach Tobias, Matt found himself wondering if Pearl would wear his ribbons. Soon he’d see for himself. The thought shouldn’t have pleased him, but it did.
As she considered what to wear to the party, Pearl was tempted to use Toby as an excuse to stay upstairs. He had the sniffles and had fussed when she’d put him down, but he’d fallen asleep and was breathing evenly in his bed. She’d made arrangements with Mrs. Dinwiddie and Hattie, the serving girl they’d hired for the night, to keep a close eye on him, but she planned to sneak upstairs herself for a few peeks.
Considering Matt would be at the dinner party, she’d need those respites. She couldn’t bear the thought of an evening in his presence. Every time he visited her at Jasper’s store, she liked him more. Her feelings for the man were in a jumble.
She liked him.
She feared what she felt.
Most of all, she felt guilty for coveting her cousin’s beau…except he didn’t belong to Carrie. The more Pearl spoke with Matt, the more clearly she saw his feelings. He liked Carrie, but she’d never be more than Sarah’s teacher. Pearl didn’t dare think about what he felt for her. She only knew she had to put Carrie’s feelings before her own. That meant putting on a brave smile for tonight’s party and hoping her cousin wouldn’t be hurt. What it didn’t mean was flirting with Dan or the Hudson brothers. Instead she’d get to know Meg and Amy, and she’d be friendly to Mrs. Griffin, the widow Carrie had asked to serve as chaperone with Tobias. If her plan failed, she’d retreat to the kitchen with Mrs. Dinwiddie and the serving girl. With that duty in mind, she lifted a navy blue gown with narrow sleeves from the wardrobe. As she checked the dress for wrinkles, Carrie pushed through the bedroom door.
“You can’t wear that!” she declared.
“Why not?”
“It’s depressing!”
Carrie usually spoke more gently. Pearl attributed her shrill tone to nerves. “It’s fine.” Although she had to admit, the color was a bit gloomy. The last time she’d worn the gown had been to a funeral.
Carrie shoved the dress back in the wardrobe. As Pearl reached to take it back, Carrie pushed through her dresses, a mix of grays, blues and drab browns and pulled out the gown Pearl had worn to Josh and Adie’s wedding. As she held it out, her face lit up. “This is perfect!”
“Carrie, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Because Matt will notice me instead of you. Because I’ll feel pretty and alive and I’ll want things I can’t have. “I just can’t.”
“But it’s beautiful!” Carrie held the dress to her chin. Powder blue with an overskirt and white ribbon trim, the gown reminded Pearl of her friends at Swan’s Nest, especially Mary who had ordered her to hold her head high. What would it be like to slip into the shimmering folds? To slip her arms into the sleeves that puffed and narrowed at her wrists? She ached to feel pretty, but not with Matt at the supper table. She’d want to smile at him, maybe flirt. She couldn’t. Not when he belonged to Carrie. Not when she feared men and marriage.
Carrie shoved the dress into her arms. “You’ve got to wear this one.”
She didn’t understand. “But why?”
Her cousin looked close to tears. “If you wear that dreary navy blue, I’ll look like a strumpet.”
She had a point. A week ago they’d gone shopping. Carrie had selected a pink taffeta gown with oodles of ruffles. Pearl thought the dress was overdone and she’d said so. Carrie had loved it. Pearl hadn’t pressed the point because she’d doubted herself. What did she know about fashion these days? She hadn’t cared about looking nice for a long time. But she cared tonight…. She cared because of Matt.
The admission left her deeply disturbed. If she said yes to her cousin’s request and wore the dress, she’d be risking Matt’s attention. If she said no, Carrie would look silly in the rose-colored ruffles. As Pearl weighed the choice, she touched the sleeve of the silky dress. It warmed with her touch and she knew. She wanted to look pretty tonight. Not for Matt or Carrie, but for herself. “You’re right,” she said. “The silk is prettier.”
With Carrie’s help, Pearl put on three petticoats and slipped into the shimmering gown. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw the woman who’d caught Adie’s bridal bouquet and boldly come to Cheyenne for a second chance.
“You look perfect,” Carrie said. “Now let’s fix your hair.”
Her crowning glory…the white mane that had attracted Franklin Dean. Her breath hitched at the memory, and her stomach knotted. Blinking, she flashed back to the buggy ride and the terrible memory of being trapped. She yearned for the safety of the navy blue, but she couldn’t explain the reason to Carrie without more upset. Trembling, she sat at the vanity. “Put it in a coronet.”
Carrie huffed. “And hide your pretty hair?”
“I like it that way.”
She put her hands on Pearl’s shoulders and pressed to keep her in place. “I have an idea.”
“Don’t—”
Carrie had already loosened Pearl’s braid. As the white-gold strands brushed her nape, she recalled her mother putting up her hair for the first time. She’d been fourteen and confident. She wanted to be confident again. “All right,” she said. “Make it pretty.”
“You won’t be sorry.”
Carrie went to work with a brush and a comb. Ten minutes later Pearl had the loveliest chignon she’d ever worn. The style struck her as the perfect mix of beauty and restraint. She liked it.
“Thank you, cousin.” She meant it.
“One more thing.”
When Carrie opened the drawer holding Pearl’s hair ornaments, Pearl went pale. She didn’t want her cousin to notice Matt’s ribbons.
Pearl lifted a comb from the drawer. It was made of mother of pearl and had been a gift from her parents on her fourteenth birthday. She treasured it. “How about this?”
“It’s too fancy.”
She selected a comb made of bone.
“It’s too plain.”
Just as Pearl had feared, Carrie dug past her everyday ribbons to the blue ones. She set all of them on the vanity, then selected the palest blue.
“This one’s perfect,” she said. “It matches your eyes.”
Pearl didn’t want to wear one of Matt’s ribbons not only because of what he’d think, but because of what they meant to her. The ribbons were a memory, an impossible dream. If she wore one tonight, they’d become as ordinary as her others. She wanted to tell Carrie to put them back, but her cousin would fuss and Pearl would have to explain. Resigned, she let Carrie fashion a blue bow above her ear.
Carrie stepped back. “You look beautiful, cousin.”
She felt beautiful. For the first time in a year, she felt the lift that comes with a pretty dress, the pleasure of silk on her skin. She owed Carrie for this moment, so she stood and smiled. “Now it’s your turn.”
They went to Carrie’s room where they repeated the ritual of petticoats and looking pretty. The pink dress made Carrie look like a blooming rose, a bit overblown but still lovely. Carrie bit her lips to make them pinker. “I hope Matt likes my dress.”
“So do I.” She meant it, but her wayward mind went to her own blue gown. As she put the finishing touch on her cousin’s hair, someone knocked on the door.
> “Come in,” Carrie called.
The serving girl they’d hired for the night stepped into the room. “Your guests are arriving, Miss Hart. I’ve seated Mr. Cobb and Mr. Wiley in the parlor like you said.”
“Thank you, Hattie.”
With a nod, the girl left. Carrie looked at herself in the mirror, pinched her cheeks until they glowed, then bit her lips for the third time. They were beginning to look like overripe plums. Pearl touched her shoulder. “Carrie, stop.”
“Stop what?” Carrie’s voice quavered.
“Stop biting your lips.” Pearl took her hand. “You look beautiful. Matt will see you for the woman you are, or he won’t. If he doesn’t, he’s a fool.”
“If he doesn’t, I’ll die.”
“No, you won’t,” Pearl said gently. “We don’t always get what we want, but the Lord gives us what we need.”
Carrie’s eyes misted. “You sound like my mother.”
“Mine, too.”
The women hugged, then Carrie took a breath. “I’m ready.”
Together they walked down the stairs. As they entered the parlor, Matt and another man stood to greet them. They both looked polished in dark coats and string ties, but the resemblance ended with their clothing. Matt looked weary and had dark crescents under his eyes. The fellow she guessed to be Dan had a cheerful air. Brown eyes twinkled below his straight brows, and he had an easy smile. He looked rested and ready for a good time.
“Good evening,” Carrie said to the men. “Matt, you know Pearl, but I don’t think Dan does.” She hooked her arm around Pearl’s waist and nudged her forward. “Dan, this is my cousin, Pearl Oliver. Pearl, this is Deputy Dan Cobb. He’s Matt’s partner.”
Dan held out his hand. “The pleasure’s mine, Miss Oliver. Welcome to Cheyenne.”
“Thank you, Deputy.”
As the four of them sat, someone knocked on the door. The maid answered and the Hudson brothers walked in. As the servant took their coats, Tobias came down the stairs and issued a jolly hello. Amidst the chatter, Mrs. Griffin arrived with Amy Hinn and Meg Gates.
Pearl tensed every time Carrie introduced her, but the knots in her stomach loosened as she settled into small talk with Meg and Mrs. Griffin. On the other side of the room, Carrie angled into a conversation with Matt, Dan and her father. Dan looked charmed, but Matt’s brow furrowed. When he shot Pearl a look from across the room, she realized she’d been staring at him. She looked away, but not before his eyes found the ribbon and he smiled.
Just like that, they’d shared a secret. Pearl hated herself for enjoying the moment, but she couldn’t help it. For the first time in a year, she hadn’t turned into jelly because a man had noticed her. She’d been pleased. But now she felt guilty. If she couldn’t keep her eyes to herself, the night would be long and tense.
“Pearl?”
She turned and saw Amy Hinn, another teacher at Miss Marlowe’s School. Glad to be distracted, Pearl made room for Amy on the sofa. As they chatted, Garth Hudson brought them each a cup of punch. Judging by the look in his eyes, Amy wouldn’t be single for long.
The parlor was buzzing with conversation when Pearl heard a faint whimpering from the top of the stairs. Toby had woken up because of his sniffles. As she pushed to her feet, the whimper turned into the wail of a cranky baby. Pearl hurried in the direction of the stairs, but she didn’t have to go up them. Hattie was approaching the parlor with Toby propped on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, miss,” she said to Pearl. “I tried to calm him, but he won’t have nothin’ to do with me.”
“It’s okay, Hattie.” Pearl whisked Toby out of the girl’s arms and into her own. “He doesn’t know you, that’s all.”
Hattie gave Pearl the towel she’d had over her own shoulder. “Take this, miss. He’ll drool on your pretty dress.”
Pearl cared more about Toby than the gown, but she appreciated the girl’s thoughtfulness. Holding Toby with one arm, she draped the towel over her shoulder. “I’ve got him. You can go back to helping Mrs. Dinwiddie.”
Hattie curtsied and slipped out of the room. Pearl took a step to follow her, but someone gripped her arm. She turned and saw Carrie.
“You can’t leave,” her cousin whispered with a hiss. “I need you here.”
“But—”
“I’ll hold him,” Carrie said in a voice that carried over the shrieking. “I love babies!”
She’d made the comment for Matt’s sake, not to help Pearl or even Toby. Pearl resented it, but only Toby mattered. She had to calm her son. “I need to rock him back to sleep. Go take care of our guests.”
Carrie reached for the baby. “Let me try,” she said too loudly.
Rather than cause a stir, Pearl let Carrie take her wailing son. If he settled, she’d be relieved. If he didn’t, she’d follow her original plan.
Carrie settled the baby in her arms, carried him into the parlor and made a show of rocking him. To Pearl’s consternation, her son reared back and screamed even louder. She’d heard enough—more than enough—and followed Carrie with the intention of rescuing Toby. As she approached her cousin, so did Matt. They traded a look, one that linked them as parents, then Matt spoke in the tone of a man accustomed to being obeyed. “This boy needs his mama.”
Carrie, suddenly speechless, let him lift the baby without an argument. He propped Toby against his shoulder, patting the boy’s back as he carried him to Pearl. To her utter shock, Toby wiggled his bottom against Matt’s arm, reared back, stared at him and stopped crying.
“Silence is golden,” joked one of the Hudson brothers.
Amy smiled. “Matt’s got a special touch.”
Pearl thought so, too. Matt turned sidewise so that Toby could see her. Instead of reaching for her, the baby batted at Matt’s jaw and grinned. It was the biggest smile she’d ever seen. Matt smiled at her to share the moment, then made a cute face at her son. “Hello, there, Toby.”
The boy answered with a grunt.
Matt bounced him on his arm. “I thought you wanted your mama, pal.”
Yes, but he also wanted a father. As her son looked at Matt with awe, Pearl could barely breathe. The sight nearly broke her resolve to keep her distance from this man. Toby needed a father, and Matt had a knack. Sarah needed a mother, and Pearl wanted a daughter. They’d make a perfect family…except Pearl couldn’t bear the thought of being a wife, and Matt didn’t want one.
It all seemed crazy and unfair, even more so when Toby put his head against Matt’s neck and popped his thumb in his mouth. Matt hummed a tune he’d probably sung to Sarah at bedtime. A hush settled over the room as everyone watched and waited for Toby to fall asleep. When the baby’s breathing deepened to indicate a steady slumber, Matt looked at her and whispered, “Want me to carry him upstairs?”
The thought of going upstairs together, as if they were a family, sent shivers down her spine. Whether from fear or hope, she couldn’t say. She also had to think of appearances and Carrie’s reaction. Her cousin would feel left out if Pearl accepted Matt’s offer. She was about to decline when her father approached.
“Let’s all go,” Tobias said with a smile.
As if he were herding sheep, Tobias motioned for her to lead the way. The three of them went up the stairs and turned into Pearl’s bedroom, dimly lit by a lamp on her vanity. Matt spotted Toby’s cradle in the shadows and went to it. Pearl stepped to his side, neatened the bedding and lifted the coverlet.
As gentle as snow falling, Matt placed Toby on his tummy. Pearl covered him with the blanket, then patted his back until he settled again. As she lifted her hand, she turned and saw Matt watching her with stark admiration.
“You’re a wonderful mother,” he said in a hush.
But could she be a good wife? She didn’t know and she doubted it. Besides, Carrie had feelings for Matt. Pearl would never betray her cousin’s trust. Afraid her emotions would show, she mumbled, “Thank you.”
Her father must have seen her consternation
, because he motioned them both to the door. “Let’s go before he wakes up again.”
“Good idea,” Matt whispered. He smiled again at Pearl, then rested his hand on Toby’s back. “Sleep tight, little boy.”
The sight of Matt’s fingers, strong and masculine, filled Pearl with the longing to be together as a family. With her heart aching, she kissed her fingers and touched her son’s head. As she moved, her shoulder brushed Matt’s bicep and he didn’t move. The moment felt natural and right, but all wrong at the same time.
Turning abruptly, she led the way to the hall and hurried down the stairs. Needing to calm herself, she detoured away from the parlor and headed to the dining room to light the candles.
As she lit the first one, she saw the card with her name and frowned. Someone had switched her seat with Meg’s and she knew who’d done it. Yesterday she and Carrie had disagreed about the seating plan. Carrie wanted to be next to Matt and across from Pearl. Pearl wanted to be on the opposite end of the table, next to her father and as far from Matt as she could get. The change put Pearl directly across from him. Annoyed, she lifted the place card. Before she could switch it back with Meg’s, Carrie glided into the room with their guests. To avoid a scene, Pearl left the cards alone.
As she looked up, Matt flashed a smile and approached to hold her chair. “May I?”
Why yes, Deputy. Thank you. Instead she schooled her features. “I have to check something in the kitchen.” She indicated the seat next to Carrie. “You’re across from me.”
Matt looked amused…and challenged.
To avoid him, Pearl slipped through the side door. She asked Mrs. Dinwiddie for extra butter, then went back to the dining room. As she’d hoped, Matt was helping Carrie. Dan, seated on her right, held her chair and she sat.
She tried to avoid Matt’s gaze, but he seemed just as intent on gaining her attention. When a smile tipped his lips, she turned to her father who was helping Mrs. Griffin with her chair. A widow of two years, she was wearing mauve with silver brocade. She looked vibrant. So did Tobias. Pearl had never seen her father smitten, but he had that look tonight. The realization put a lump in her throat. Everyone at the table, except her, could chat with the opposite sex with ease. Most men frightened her. Matt didn’t, but he belonged to Carrie.
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