by Stacy Eaton
She sighed and sipped her coffee. “Yeah, I think I knew that.”
“It’s okay, Mom. You still have years ahead of you.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Maggie.” I laughed. “Why is Greg back? Did he finally come back for you? I knew one day he would, and he’d tell you that he still loved you.”
“No, that’s not it, Mom. We just ran into each other.” The door opened, and Greg stepped out, a mug in his hands as he turned toward me. For a long moment, we stared at one another, and then he yanked his gaze to my mother.
“Mrs. Valor, how are you today?”
“I’m fine, Greg, but I’m starving. I’m sure you two worked up an appetite too.”
His eyes widened, and I saw the blush stealing up his neck. “Well, let me see what I can find to make for breakfast.”
He disappeared into the house, and my mother turned to me. “You are blind if you do not see how much that man loves you, Maggie Sue Valor.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gregory
The fuck that was just sex. I stared at the closed door. How could Maggie say that was just sex? I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling as my fist hammered the mattress beside me in frustration. Damn, that woman. I swear she was a vixen; her sweet little body just had to touch mine to inflame it, and I couldn’t think straight.
What did Maggie mean she couldn’t get pregnant? I should be happy to hear that. We could have all the sex we wanted and not need to worry about using anything. Frustratingly, I wasn’t pleased about that. I didn’t like the idea that Maggie couldn’t have children. Had she been pregnant before? Had some random complications ruined her pregnancy and any chance of having kids? That thought stabbed through my chest, and I threw the sheet back and got out of bed.
After I was dressed, I slipped into the bathroom and then poured myself a coffee. I could see Maggie and her mom on the swing talking, and I joined them on the porch. The moment I stepped out the door, all I wanted to do was drop to my knees in front of Maggie and beg her to explain why she couldn’t have kids. Why did that bother me so damn much?
Instead, I rushed my sorry ass back inside, mortified that her mother seemed to know we’d had sex and started rummaging around in the kitchen for something to fix. Mike came here quite often, so there was an excellent selection of canned and boxed goods. A peek in the fridge showed eggs, bacon, a pound of hamburger, cream, orange juice, a few condiments that wouldn’t spoil anytime soon, and the bottom shelf was stocked with beer. I wondered if it would look bad if I downed a couple of those real quick.
The door opened, and I peered back to find Mrs. Valor stepping inside. “Did you sleep alright?” I asked her as she went to the coffeemaker and began to pour more.
“Yes, I slept better than I expected to.” She turned and glanced around the cabin. “This is a cute cabin; Maggie’s father would have loved it here. The lake is beautiful.”
“It is nice. I’ve come up here a couple of times with Mike.”
“It was kind of him to allow you to borrow this.” She studied me carefully, and it began to make me very uneasy.
“Would you prefer eggs or pancakes for breakfast?”
“I’d prefer you to tell me what you are doing with my daughter.”
I turned to face her. “Excuse me, Mrs. Valor?”
“Oh, cut the Mrs. Valor crap, Greg. You have known me for over twenty years. I think by now you can call me Liz and you can be straight with me. You broke Maggie’s heart when you went away. I understood why you did it, and part of me appreciated that you did it. I hated the thought of her sitting around, waiting for you to come back and not living her life.”
“That’s why I ended it, Liz. I wanted Maggie to have a good life and not wait for me. I knew I wanted to do twenty years in the military, and I didn’t want to put her through that.”
“And now? What do you want with Maggie?”
I slipped into a chair at the table. “To be honest, Liz, I don’t know. I didn’t expect to see Maggie again. I thought she was living in Atlanta, and I assumed she was happily married with a horde of kids.”
She dropped her head and put her chin to her chest. “Yeah, well, things don’t always go the way you want them too.” She pulled the chair out across from me and took a seat.
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I am very aware of that.”
“Do you love Maggie?”
“Liz, I haven’t seen Maggie in nineteen years. I care about her; I will always care about her, but I can’t say that I love her.” I paused. “What I can tell you is that Maggie might be the only woman I have ever loved. There has never been anyone like her in my life since I walked away from her. Not one serious relationship.”
“Do you want a relationship?”
“No,” I said immediately, and then my eyes strayed to the door. “I don’t know.”
“Well, Greg, I can only give you my opinion. I think there is a reason that you never got involved with another woman. I think that you gave Maggie your heart when you were seventeen years old, and you never took it back. I think that Maggie tried to go on with her life, but she couldn’t because she was still holding out hope that one day you might come back.”
“Liz, I can’t give her what she deserves.”
“Deserves? Gregory Blaire, what are you talking about? The only thing that Maggie wants is a man who can be there for her. She’s a very strong woman, and she doesn’t need a man to do stuff for her. She needs a man to love her and be there for her, that’s it. She needs someone to share her life with.”
“What if I’m not good enough for her? I’ve got nothing except a job and my father’s house. What do I have to offer her?”
“You have your heart, Greg.” She reached over and patted my hand. “That’s all Maggie wants. She doesn’t need anything else, and I’d like pancakes, please.”
I chuckled at her abrupt change in topic. “I can do pancakes.”
“I’m going to shower and get dressed while you cook. Give Maggie a few minutes of peace. She’s been through so much, and this thing between you is a bit overwhelming. If it makes you feel any better, I think she doesn’t feel that she is enough for you either, and with the added burden of me, it makes it even harder, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t willing to try.”
She set her coffee mug beside the sink and disappeared into the other bedroom. I sat there for a few moments, then pulled out the notebook from my pocket. In the back were the photographs of Maggie, old and new. Could Maggie and I have what we once had?
I shoved the pictures back in the notebook and got busy cooking breakfast. Liz had just turned off the shower when I took the last pancakes off the griddle and put them on the plate to stay warm in the oven until everyone was seated. The bacon was already on the table, orange juice was poured, and there was still enough coffee for everyone if they wanted more.
I popped my head out the door and didn’t see Maggie. My heart began to race as I stepped further out. “Maggie!” About three hundred yards away, I saw her down at the dock. I closed my eyes as I tried to rein in the fear that was on the verge of exploding through me.
I carefully walked barefoot over the rocky driveway to the grassy area and then toward the dock. Maggie sat at the end, her feet dangling over the edge; a breeze lifted her bright-blond hair and danced it around her shoulders. She turned and looked over her shoulder when she felt the vibration on the dock from me.
“Hey.”
“Breakfast is ready.” I put my hand out to help her up. She looked at my hand, and for a moment, I thought she would push it away. Instead, she slipped her hand into mine, and I pulled her to her feet. Once she was standing, she let go of my hand, but I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her forward.
Her blue eyes went wide as she stared up at me, and for just a moment, I stared deeply into them. I needed her to understand something. “That was more than sex, Maggie. You are more than just sex to me.”
Her features softened, and
a hint of a smile slipped over her lips. I cupped her cheek as she responded, “Thank you, and I’m sorry for saying that.”
“Did you mean it? Is it just sex between us for you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “It’s more than sex for me too, Greg.”
I leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. “I don’t know what this is, Maggie. Since I walked away from you all those years ago, I’ve never wanted more from anyone. It’s like when I said goodbye, I closed the door to my heart and locked it. Part of me wants what we used to have, only at a more adult level.”
She chuckled. “Do we have to?”
I rubbed my knuckles over her cheek. “Sometimes. You know I’m not one to admit fear, but there is part of me that is afraid that I might disappoint you, Maggie. I’m not the young boy that I once was. I’m a grown man with extreme views, and I’m set in my ways.”
She took my face in her hands. “Greg, you could never disappoint me. You are amazing. You went from a confident and sexy young man to a very confident, powerful, sexy man. And we’ve always had different viewpoints on things. That is what made our relationship so great. We could disagree and still find common ground. I’m not interested in a ring, or even a promise of forever.”
“What are you asking me for, Maggie?”
“I’m asking for a chance to get to know you and for you to get to know me. You think you might not be much, but I’m an out-of-work reporter that just can’t seem to get herself on track for reporting real news.”
“Why are you out of work?”
“Oh”—she stepped back, laughing as she took my hand and turned us toward the cabin—“I got a little pissed at my boss, and he threatened to fire me, so I quit instead.”
“Maggie,” I started to say something, but she stopped and put her fingers over my lips.
“Please don’t ruin the peace we have between us right now and tell me I’m trouble. I know that I’m trouble. I’ve always been trouble, and I always will be trouble. Just leave it alone.”
I took her face in my hands, and the words I love you brushed over my mind, but I managed to keep them in. It was like time stood still when it came to how I felt about her. Suddenly, all the emotions I’d had for her years ago filled my very soul, and I knew that I didn’t want to let her go. “Sweetheart, I want us to get to know one another. I can’t promise you anything more, but I want to try.”
“I’ll take that.” She hesitated. “What about your job?”
“What about it?”
“Would you have a problem if I worked there and traveled with you?”
I frowned. “Maggie, is that something that you really want to do?”
“Yes, I have always wanted to report on important issues, and I think it would be a perfect way for us to build a relationship.”
I chuckled. “I’m not sure about that. It’s dangerous and stressful and sometimes boring as hell.”
She grinned cheekily up at me. “But if I’m along for the ride, it wouldn’t be quite so boring. I mean, I could always see what trouble I could get into.”
I kissed her. “Yeah, I bet you could. I think that we would have to discuss it a little more. I get why you want to do that, and I know Jake thinks it will be great and he might be right, but I’m going to need a little time to get used to the idea.”
“But you aren’t saying no?”
“No, I’m not saying no. I’m saying we will discuss it once this mess has been cleared up.”
I curled her against my chest and held her for a long moment. “Thank you, Greg.”
“You’re welcome, and don’t think this conversation is over. We still have things to discuss, but right now. Let’s eat. Your mother should be dressed now.”
When we got back to the cabin, Liz was standing in the middle of the room, looking around.
“Mom, what are you looking for?”
She turned to us, her eyes bouncing back and forth between us as if she was unsure of something. Maggie sighed softly beside me as she dropped my hand and stepped forward.
“I’m waiting for the bus, but I don’t see it. Did the bus come already?”
“Liz, there is no bus today. Let’s eat breakfast.”
“I already ate breakfast; I want to get on the bus. I don’t know this place.”
“No, you didn’t eat yet, Liz,” I said to her. “You took a shower while I made breakfast. I’m Greg, a friend of Maggie’s. How about we all sit down and eat the pancakes I made?”
“I don’t like pancakes; I like eggs.”
“Liz, you love pancakes,” Maggie told her. “We have them every weekend.”
“Who are you? Do I know you? I don’t think I have ever seen you before. I want to go to my room.”
Maggie closed her eyes and then walked into her mother’s room. A moment later, she returned with a picture in her hand. “Liz, here is a photograph for you. This might make you feel better.”
Liz took the picture and stared at it for a long time, her eyes constantly moving as they shifted over every pixel of the image. “Who is this man?”
“That is your husband, Robert, and my father.”
“I’m not married.”
“You were married, Liz.”
“I don’t remember him. Why don’t I remember him?”
“Because you have Alzheimer’s, Liz. You forget some days and get confused on others, but this picture always reminds you that you are with family.”
She lifted her eyes to me. “Are you part of the family?”
Maggie glanced my way and then smiled. “Yes, Liz. Greg is part of the family.”
I drew closer to them and put my arm around Maggie. “You might be confused, Liz, but you’re safe.”
She nodded slowly as she dropped her gaze back to the picture and then looked at Maggie. “You said that I like pancakes?”
“Yes, you sure do.”
“Okay, then I’ll have some pancakes.”
Chapter Thirty
Maggie
It had been a long time since my mother called me Maggie Sue, and tears crowded my eyes. At that moment, my mother was one hundred percent with me. Her words, the look in her eye, the feel of her hand on mine meant so much.
I threw my arms around her as tears began to fill my eyes. “I love you so much, Mom.”
“I love you too, dear. I wish life were easier for you. I’m sorry for making it so hard.”
I clung to her harder. “No, you don’t. I would do anything for you.”
My mother pulled back. “Would you really do anything for me?”
“Yes, of course!”
She collected my hands and held them between us. “Then Maggie, it’s time for me to move into the facility. I know that my lucid times are few and far between. Even I can tell that I have huge gaps missing from my life. It’s not fair for me to ask you to continue to put your life on hold. You deserve to have more, do more, be more.”
“Mom, how can I do that when I can take care of you?”
“Because I’m telling you that it’s okay, sweetheart. I love you so much for everything that you have done for me, but it’s time for you to return to your life.” She glanced at the door. “To build a life with him.”
“I’m not sure he wants one.”
“He does but be patient. You are both hardheaded, but you’ll get there.”
My mother had gone inside a few minutes later, and I decided to walk down to the dock. Could I put my mother into the nursing home? Hadn’t I just two days before been planning on doing that if I took the job? Yes, but would Greg be able to deal with me working with him?
It might come to a toss-up between the two of them: the job versus the man. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to choose.
With the trouble that I was currently in, maybe it was a better idea to get her settled into a center. Then at least she wouldn’t be caught in the middle of this mess. Who knows how long we were going to have to hide. This place might be a beautiful little cabin, but I wasn’t
sure it was big enough for Greg and me together, much less large enough for my mother and her different levels of clarity.
I felt the wood under me vibrate and turned to see Greg. When he put his hand out to me, I felt like this was more significant than just him helping me off the ground. It was as if he were lending me a hand to move forward in my life, but would it include him?
When Greg wrapped his arms around me and stared down at me, I felt like I was on the precipice of something—a life-changing moment. “That was more than sex, Maggie. You are more than just sex to me.”
I stepped off the cliff. Greg and I needed to take it slow, but we would get there. I had no doubt. From the way we felt, to how things might go if we worked together, we’d have difficulties and struggles, but we could do it.
As we stepped back into the cabin, I stared at my mother, once again lost to me, and knew that she had given me a gift today. It was time to accept her permission and move her to a home. A place where they could keep her safe, and I could visit with her, but still have my life without having to worry every moment of the day.
Over breakfast, it was a struggle to keep from crying, but I managed to make it through. I was washing the dishes when the cellphone that Mike had given us began to ring, and Greg retrieved it and took it outside. Mom sat on the other side of the room, staring out the window, waiting for the bus. She had a long wait.
I dried my hands on a towel and went to join Greg outside. As I reached him, he put the phone on speaker and put his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side. “Maggie is here, and you’re on speaker now.”
“Maggie!” Jake's voice bellowed through the line. “Girl, Greg said you were trouble, but man!”
Greg chuckled as I responded, “I like to keep people on their toes.”
“Yeah, we see that. Well, I was just confirming with Greg that it’s a no-go for you to travel with us this time because of the situation that you're in. The two of you need to stay safe and off the radar for a while.”