“No.”
“The last thing he said was that it was my fault.” Joel touched his stomach in fleeting memory. “He took a swing at me. Punched me once, right in the gut, and then he said, ‘This is all your fault, you goddamn stupid son of a bitch. All your fault. I'm glad your mother died before she found out what kind of a son she had.’”
Letty stepped close and wrapped her arms around him. “Joel, I am so very sorry.” She said nothing more, just held him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder.
Joel was unable to respond. He stood stiff and inflexible, like a man made out of stone. It was as if all the circuits that controlled his emotions had simply shorted out. He felt utterly blank. No one had offered him this kind of simple, undemanding comfort since his mother died.
But at least there had been time to say good-bye to his mother, Joel thought. At least he had been able to tell her that he loved her, and she had told him how much she loved him.
There had been no chance to make his peace with his father. “This is all your fault, you goddamn stupid son of a bitch,” he had said. “You couldn't pick some girl from your own crowd. Hell no, you had to screw the Copeland girl. Christ, didn't you even think for one minute about what you were doing? Were you so goddamn stupid you couldn't tell she was just playing with you? Did you think for one minute about what would happen to me when Copeland found out you'd dared to go after his daughter? This is all your fault.”
All your fault.
Joel was aware of Letty's warmth and softness closing gently around him. The effect was like water on stone for a while. He could feel her, but her warmth just washed off him.
But she continued to hold him as if she would never let him go, and gradually the tension in Joel started to lessen. After a few minutes he found the strength to raise his hand and sink his fingers into the softness of her hair. She stirred against him, hugging him tighter as if determined to let some part of herself meld with a part of him.
Joel had no real idea how long they stood like that. The rain drummed on the barn roof in a steady, soothing pattern. He was thinking about that curious, mesmerizing rhythm when he realized Letty was finally lifting her head from his shoulder.
He looked down into her face and saw the sweet, serious warmth in her eyes. He realized her lips were slightly parted and she still had her arms wrapped around his waist.
Joel did not even stop to think about it. He lowered his head and covered Letty's mouth with his own.
Her lips softened instantly under his, parting for him, inviting him into her heat. A sharp, urgent need shook Joel. It was followed by a desire that was beyond anything he had ever known. The feeling was not so much physical as emotional.
He had to have her. He would be cold and empty for the rest of his life if he did not make love to her in that moment. She was the only one who could save him from the pain that was washing through him in a torrent.
He gripped her waist and dragged his mouth across hers, desperate for the hope and the promise of her. She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, silently offering him whatever he wanted, whatever he needed.
“Letty. Oh, God, Letty, I want you.”
“It's all right, Joel. It's all right.” She was responding feverishly now, clinging to him, kissing his throat.
Joel knew he had lost his self-control. This was not like the other night when he had been determined to find out just how hot Letty would burn for him. The sensations that surged through him now were raw and wild. He needed her right this minute. And she was offering herself.
Joel slid his palms down over her firm, lushly rounded hips, yanked her skirt up to her waist and cupped her buttocks. He lifted her up against his painfully engorged shaft. She whimpered softly and speared her fingers through his hair.
Then Letty wrapped her legs around his waist. Joel staggered slightly and found his balance. He thought he would burst into flames.
He realized his jeans and Letty's panty hose were in the way. Desperate to get rid of the barriers, he lowered her to the floor and eased her down onto the old blankets. A small cloud of dust wafted upward. Joel paid no attention. He was too busy struggling with Letty's panty hose.
Nylon ripped. Letty gasped, but she did not pull away. Instead she reached for the zipper on his jeans.
“I'll get it,” Joel muttered, aware that the denim was stretched tautly over that portion of his anatomy. He reached down and lowered the zipper cautiously. An instant later he felt that part of himself thrust free of confinement.
Letty's beautiful, gentle hands were waiting for him. Joel groaned as she stroked the length of him.
“Damn,” he muttered thickly as the fierce desire swirled in his veins. “Letty honey, that feels so good. So damn good. I need you.”
“Yes.” She looked up at him through her lashes. The warmth in her eyes was all-consuming. He could drown in that warmth, and he would be safe in it.
Joel did not take his eyes from hers as he ran his hand up along the inside of her thigh. He found the place where he had torn her panty hose, inserted his fingers inside, and ripped hard to create a wider opening.
He cupped the softness between her legs, awed at the depth of her response. She was hot and ready. He slid one finger into her, and she shivered.
“Joel.”
He wanted to savor her reaction, but there was no time. His body was surging toward release.
“I need to be inside you,” he rasped, willing her to understand. “I can't wait this time. I can't wait.”
“Yes. It's all right.” She cradled his head between her palms, kissing his jaw and then his throat. “Come inside.”
He could not even take the time to get out of his jeans. He sprawled on top of Letty, crushing her into the filthy blankets. She widened her legs for him. He reached down to part the plump folds that guarded her softness. She was slick and incredibly warm. He positioned himself and then, with a deep groan, drove into her in a single long stroke.
He was startled by the initial resistance of her body. Then she closed around him like a small, clinging glove. Joel nearly went out of his mind with the sensation.
“You're so tight,” he muttered. “So hot and tight. Christ it feels good.”
He pounded into her, unable to slow down or exert an ounce of finesse. He had to fill her with himself. He needed to lose himself in her forever.
And then he was over the edge, arching himself above her, gritting his teeth against the exquisite pain, exploding inside Letty's softness.
He was lost.
He was free.
He was complete and whole for one single instant in time. He was at last the man he was supposed to be.
Joel shuddered heavily and collapsed on top of Letty. He gulped air into his lungs and luxuriated in the pure satisfaction that engulfed him. He was vaguely aware that Letty's fingers were moving gently through his hair in a soothing motion.
The rain was still pounding on the roof. Perhaps that was why he had little or no warning. Or perhaps he was simply too far gone in the safe, warm world he had discovered.
Joel was jerked back to reality when the stall door creaked on its hinges.
It was the same small noise that had saved his life the last time. Disoriented from the aftereffects of the shattering release, he rolled off Letty and scrambled to his feet. One searing thought burned in his brain: he had to protect Letty. Whatever was happening, he had to take care of her.
But it was not an enraged Victor Copeland who stood staring into the stall with angry eyes. It was Diana.
“Couldn't you have taken her somewhere else, Joel?” Diana raised her tear-filled gaze from Letty's sprawled form to Joel. “Did you have to bring her here? This was our place.”
“Damn it, Diana.” Fury washed through Joel as he jerked his zipper closed. “Get out of here.” He took a step forward.
She whirled and ran from the gloomy barn.
Joel stood staring after her until he heard the distant sound of a
car engine. A soft noise behind him made him turn finally to look down at Letty.
She was sitting up, trying vainly to straighten her sadly rumpled clothing. “You brought her here that night, didn't you?”
“I'm sorry, Letty. She must have followed us when we left the motel. She's acting crazy.” He reached down to help Letty to her feet. He righted her easily and could not resist an amused, affectionate smile at the sight of her. He felt so much better now, he realized. Even the shock of having Diana appear like a specter from the past could not shake his new mood.
Letty was delicious in a state of disarray. Her glasses were askew on her nose, her hair looked as if it had come in contact with an electrical circuit, and she had discarded her shoes and her torn panty hose.
Joel wanted to pull her back down on the floor and make love to her all over again. He reached for her.
“This time I'll do it right,” he promised.
“No, wait, don't.” Letty stepped back quickly. Too quickly. Her feet got tangled in her panty hose, which were lying on the floor. “Oh, my God.” She tried to grab hold of the side of the stall and missed.
“Take it easy, Letty. It's okay, honey.” Joel caught her and held her steady. He pulled her close against him. “Easy, honey. I didn't mean to scare you. I know I rushed things a few minutes ago. I lost control. It won't happen again. I swear it.”
“It's not that,” Letty whispered, her voice muffled against his chest. “Tell me the truth, Joel. You were here with her that night when Copeland found you, weren't you?”
He grimaced as he heard the accusing tone in her words. “Well, yeah, I was. But I don't see what that has to do with us.”
“Joel Blackstone, when we get back to Seattle I am going to enroll you in a sensitivity-training seminar.” Letty jerked away from him. “Damn.” She straightened her glasses on her nose and scowled down at her ruined pantyhose. Angrily she yanked them away from her feet and tossed them aside.
“Letty, what the hell is the matter?”
She nodded toward the old blankets on the floor of the stall. “Same blankets? Same stall?”
Joel was outraged at the unfairness of the implied accusation. “It happened fifteen years ago, for God's sake.”
“You could at least have picked one of the other stalls.” Letty stepped barefoot back into her pumps and stalked past him. “I think it's time we went back to the motel. I need a bath. And then I think it's time to start packing. I've had enough of Echo Cove.”
11
I'm sorry, Letty.”
The words were the first Joel had spoken since leaving the barn. Letty slid him a sidelong glance and noticed the way his fingers were clenched around the Jeep's steering wheel. Her gaze traveled upward to the grim set of his jaw. She felt herself soften in spite of her recent embarrassment.
“Forget it.” She surveyed the main street of Echo Cove as they drove toward the motel.
“I shouldn't have stopped at that damn barn in the first place.”
“I'm glad you told me the full story about what happened here all those years ago. At least I understand now why you're so determined to destroy everything that Victor Copeland has built. Maybe he even deserves it. The problem, Joel, is that you're going to destroy this whole town in the process.”
“I don't give a damn about this town. It's Copeland's town.” Joel jerked a thumb at a small cluster of people gathered in front of the bank. “Not one of those fine, civic-minded citizens would stand up to Victor Copeland if he took a mind to start chopping off heads at noon in the town square.”
“You're being too harsh, Joel.”
“I'm telling you how it is, that's all. Don't waste any sympathy on the good folk of Echo Cove. They sure wouldn't waste any on you.”
Joel pulled into the motel parking lot, then got out and came around to open Letty's door. “I'll be packed and ready to leave in fifteen minutes.”
“Fine.” She smiled coolly at his eagerness to be gone. “I'll be ready in about an hour. Probably more like forty-five minutes. I told you I wanted to take a shower. I'm a mess.” She reached up and pulled straw from her tangled hair.
His mouth tightened, but he did not argue. They climbed the stairs in silence. When she reached her room, Letty let herself inside and closed the door with a sense of relief.
She was still shaky.
The effects of Joel's incredible lovemaking combined with the shock of being discovered had definitely rattled her nerves. She hoped a hot shower would relax her. It was going to be a long drive back to Seattle.
Kicking off her dusty pumps, Letty started toward the small bathroom. Her hand paused on the jacket of her suit as she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
She was a walking disaster. Everything seemed to be twisted, torn, or creased beyond recognition. Her navy blue suit was so filthy it would have to go directly to the cleaners. The lenses of her glasses were dusty. And her hair looked as if it had been put into a blender. She would have to wash it before the drive to Seattle.
But there was a rosy flush on her cheeks and an unfamiliar brightness in her eyes. She could feel a lingering warmth between her legs.
With a start, Letty realized she was still a little aroused. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she turned an even brighter shade of pink. If Joel had not been in such a frantic hurry back there in that horrible barn, she would have had another of those mind-shattering climaxes that he had introduced her to the other night. She had been on the brink. She was certain of it.
She made a face at herself in the mirror. She was becoming obsessed with sex.
“Oh, my God.” The thought sent her reeling into the bathroom. Somewhere she had read an article that claimed women really hit their stride, sexually speaking, in their thirties. And she was, after all, on the verge of turning thirty. Maybe it was all coming together for her at last.
Thanks to Joel Blackstone. No, Joel had told her she was hot. Hot and sexy. She, Letty Thornquist, was normal, after all. Just something of a late bloomer, apparently.
But a part of her knew that if she was the plant, Joel was the gardener.
Half an hour later Letty was feeling much more fit and ready to deal with the world. She had dressed in wool trousers and a pullover sweater and was trying to force her willful hair into a clip when a knock sounded on the motel room door. Letty put down her brush and went to answer it.
Keith Escott stood outside, an earnest if somewhat sheepish expression on his handsome face. He had a black eye, and he was holding a file folder in one hand.
“Sorry to bother you,” Keith said. “But I wanted to talk to you in private, and I think this is going to be my only chance. Do you mind if I come in for a few minutes? This won't take long.”
Letty glanced uncertainly over her shoulder at the unmade bed and the open door of the closet. The bathroom was filled with steam. It occurred to her that a lot of modern businesswomen must have to face this sort of dilemma. One point in favor of her former career as a librarian was that she had never had to conduct business in a motel room.
“Would you rather go downstairs to the coffee shop?” she offered tentatively.
“There's a crowd down there. Everyone knows me and will recognize you. I'd rather talk to you in private, if you don't mind.”
Letty summoned what she hoped was a corporate smile. “Certainly. Please excuse the mess. The maid hasn't been in yet.”
“Believe me, it's nothing compared to the mess Copeland Marine is in these days. And that's what I want to talk to you about.” Keith walked into the room and headed straight for the table and chairs near the window. He took a seat and opened the file, clearly too intent on business to notice the state of her room.
“What have you got there?” Letty came slowly across the room and sat down on the other side of the table.
Keith looked up. “It's a five-year plan to salvage Copeland Marine. I've been working on it for six months, using computer projections.”
“I see.”
“All I'm asking is that you look it over and give it fair consideration. I believe we can rescue the company and put it back on its feet if we do some major debt restructuring and if we overhaul the entire management approach.”
“Victor Copeland said something about being able to pull the firm out of the red in another couple of quarters.”
Keith shook his head impatiently. “Not a chance. Not the way he's going at it. Blackstone is right about that. Copeland Marine is going straight down the tubes, and Victor Copeland doesn't have a clue as to how to stop it. He's locked into too many old patterns.”
“You mean he won't listen to new ideas?”
“Copeland hasn't moved with the times, and now he's paying the price. I've been telling him that for three years.” Keith grimaced. “But of course I'm the last person he wants to hear it from.”
“But he's given you a key position in the company.”
“In name only,” Keith said bitterly. “Oh, sure, I get to crunch numbers and handle a lot of the routine work. I even waste a lot of time on my computer trying to put together operating assessments that will persuade Copeland to change his methods. But the truth is, my father-in-law thinks I'm about half an inch below pond scum.”
Letty tilted her head while she considered that. “Something tells me Victor Copeland doesn't respect too many people.”
“I've learned the hard way that the only thing Copeland respects is someone bigger and stronger and more ruthless than he is.”
“A real old-fashioned kind of guy,” Letty murmured. “Why do you stay at Copeland Marine if you don't like working for your father-in-law?”
“Isn't it obvious? I'm married to the boss's daughter. Diana insists we stay here in town, and as long as her father wants me working at Copeland Marine, that's what she wants, too. I've tried to make the best of things for the past three years.”
“Anything for Daddy, right?” Letty asked curiously.
Keith's eyes narrowed. “Diana has her reasons for wanting us to stay here. I suppose that, in the beginning, she thought Copeland would actually turn the yard over to me. After all, he was the one who introduced me to her in the first place, and he gave his full approval to the marriage.”
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