by JL Brooks
“Well, isn’t this romantic.” I gave him a wink while scooting into my side of the table.
“What do you want to drink, Violet?” he asked, returning the wink.
The waiter looked at me expectantly.
“Wasser bitta, still.”
“You know about the water?” Giving an impressed brow, he looked down at the menu in front of him.
“I know about a few things, like how I have to pay to use the toilets, except if they serve beer. Germans also do not customarily tip, but it’s welcomed. Also there is some great asparagus that is white and giant?”
“Well, you know all that you need to then. Maybe you’re right and you won’t need me after all.”
Shaking my head, I could not hold in the snicker that erupted. “When did you turn into such a smart ass?”
Holding up the pint glass of the wheat beer he ordered and tipping it towards me, he replied, “I learned from the best.” Taking a sip and then pausing, his face grew serious. “I am taking you to Bern. Please do not fight me on this. I can work on the road, and the chance to give this to you is more than I could ever hope. Just say yes.”
My jaw clenched at the offer. Could I really spend a week with him and stay sane? How much could my heart take before it was broken beyond repair?”
“I have plans, Shepard. I can’t change them. I still need to see my aunt. I would feel horrible canceling on her when I am so close.”
“Violet, I would never ask you to do something like that.”
I would not say no to him and he knew it. The contrast of shadows against the candlelight made his face irresistible. My resolve was crumbling at my feet with every breath. Holding my hand over my mouth in contemplation, I watched the blue and yellow flames flicker in a mesmerizing dance.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
Looking up from the candle into his eyes, I repeated, “I said yes.”
“Okay, it’s done then. Let’s eat, and you are in luck. They have the elusive asparagus.”
He was smug in the fact I agreed to his offer. Everything about him changed in the strangest way. He was full of light and peace. I could almost see the current coursing through his veins.
The dinner was lovely and quiet. Worn down, I was ready to crash again. Narrow hallways led to the massive wooden door with iron fixtures. Our bags were already situated in the corner; Henry must have brought them up. A wood hewn king sized canopy bed stood imposingly in the small room. With nothing else but a wardrobe and small booth, it was a simple but elegant room. Naturally, I checked out the bathroom, which astounded me. A hand blown glass sink sat floating on a small basin adorned with golden fixtures. A large glass encased shower stall took up a majority of the tiny room. Yes, I did like this place.
“Do you approve, madam?” As he took off his jacket and shoes, I eyed the bed suspiciously.
“You still sleep naked, don’t you?” I shot a scornful look at him; he returned it with a mischievous smirk.
“Yes, but I will suffer this week.”
“No, you sleep terribly, or you used to. You can’t afford that.”
“Shepard, it is kind of inappropriate, given the circumstances.”
“Nonsense. Look.” He peeled back the top sheet to reveal two separate mattresses and two half folded down comforters in crisp duvets.
“European beds were designed just for this moment.”
I subconsciously covered my chest by crossing my arms. Before I could reply, he softly addressed my concern.
“I won’t try anything, I promise. I remember how hard it was.”
I could see in his face he was flashing back to our first night together. He could not touch me, or hold me. Nothing could restrict me while I dreamed. I would fight to sleep; even in just panties, it felt like sandpaper on my skin. They always came off in the end and I would sink quickly thereafter.
“I would like to take a shower; is that okay?”
“Of course, Violet, you don’t have to ask.”
Turning to find my toiletry bag, I quietly shut the door behind me. The water took no time to get hot. Smelling the soaps already in there, it was spicy and different, like cloves and pepper. Washing up quickly, I dried my hair and pulled the towel tightly around my middle.
I could see him follow the steam vapors trailing off my reddened skin before he twisted his body around.
“I am turning my head, see? Get in.” He gave a throaty chuckle at my modesty.
Hesitating to get in the bed nude, my fingers grazed the smooth wooden post that formed the canopy. Turning back the blankets, he heard the towel make a light noise as it hit the ground. Snuggling into the cold sheet, I shivered while trying to warm up again.
“Is it safe?”
Giggling, I replied, “I don’t know, is it?”
He pushed off his hands and turned back around to face me, still wearing his white shirt and slacks as I studied his face. Resisting the urge to touch him, my hands burned with longing. I could see his neck tense and the tendons in his jaw pop while he looked at me. His eyes began to glaze over. He smiled when I broke the tension with a deep intake of air.
With a slight smile, he questioned, “What?”
I closed my eyes tightly.
“I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t real.” I could feel the pain take over my face as the muscles scrunched tightly.
“Open your eyes, I am right here.” His hand moved over my face and slowly stroked along my cheeks.
My eyes remained closed like a vice, with my mouth forming a tight line. A silent wail escaped as my back arched off the mattress. I tried to roll away from him, but he grabbed my shoulders. His touch caused me to break, inciting a riot in my nerves. He didn’t have to ask what was wrong. He reached over tightly and held me in his arms. As the muffled cries soaked his chest, he tried to soothe me with gentle kisses on the top of my head and rubbing circles across my back.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice was low and reassuring.
I buried myself even deeper into his arms, taking in his scent and warmth. A few moments later, I was out.
Chapter 32 - Bad Joke
“Violet, I need you to get up.” His voice was soft so he would not startle me.
Muttering incoherently, I rolled over in the bed, then suddenly jumped at waking up in a strange room. Rubbing fingertips along the corners of my eyes to help bring everything to focus, the first thing I saw was Shepard.
Shepard.
He was here, right in front of me. This wasn’t some crazy dream; it was really happening.
“Hi.” I cracked a smile while taking in his beautiful face. Not a huge amount of time had passed, yet fine lines had etched themselves across his brow. Without thinking, my fingers traced the chiseled lines that were covered with short prickly growth.
Letting out a slight moan beneath my palm, my hand snapped back quickly.
“I’m sorry.” Nervously moving off the bed, I ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. It had been less than twenty four hours and I was already touching him as though I didn’t walk away without even saying a word. Even worse, he let me and appeared to enjoy it.
My hand twisted the brass knob on the sink and allowed the cool water to shoot from the faucet onto my face with cupped hands. Exhausted from the flight and afternoon walking around Munich, I needed something to wake me up.
Get yourself together.
Twisting my hair into a knot on top of my head and covering myself with a big fluffy robe, I stepped back into the room. Sunlight poured through the stained glass windows into the stucco walled room. This place truly was stunning.
“Are you hungry?” He was now curt and distant while tapping the screen on his smart phone, not even looking at me.
Never once had I been brushed off while in his presence. Suddenly feeling like an inconvenience, I wanted to bolt out of the room and call for a taxi, if that was even possible wherever we were. Surely, the concierge could help assis
t me with getting back to the airport.
“Not really. I would actually like to go back to the airport.”
Looking up at me confused, his brow piqued for a moment. “Why? I told you I am taking care of you; there is no need to go there. I have already made arrangements.”
Taking a deep breath, I walked back into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Brushing my teeth aggressively while trying to size up my options, every one of them paled in comparison to spending a week with him. Even if I were a burden, it was six days I never thought I would get to experience again.
I couldn’t help but notice how I had aged, too. I didn’t look old, but I was definitely no spring chicken. The past few months had taken a toll, leaving physical proof of the battle fought. Thankfully, a good concealer and a little blush made it less obvious. Shepard wasn’t in the room when I came out again; instead a small note was written on the desk.
In the Refectorium, join me if you want some coffee.
Coffee. Absolutely. My watch was still set on Eastern Time, reminding me I would be sleeping. Making my way through the narrow corridors, the smell of fresh bread and sound of dishes banging against each other led me to believe I found the right room. A small buffet of eggs, yogurt, granola, as well as various meats and cheeses were set up with some rolls and breads. My stomach started to grumble as my eyes devoured everything that I saw.
Shepard was sitting in a corner wooden booth with a steaming cup of coffee. One of the attendants directed me towards the food and handed me a plate.
“Kann ich Kaffee bitte.”
My German was terrible, but the few phrases I knew well immediately came in handy. “Where was a toilet?” and “May I have some coffee?”
Settling into the booth opposite of Shepard, he smiled at my company. “It’s good you’re eating; it’s not the same over here as the states. People actually have meals, not snacks. This is a traditional breakfast, so I hope you like it.”
My mouth was already stuffed with the delicious bread I coated with chocolate hazelnut spread. Giving wide eyes, I groaned in approval while nodding my head.
The woman arrived with the coffee, making me melt in my seat. A delicate china cup and saucer sat daintily next to the sugar cubes and tiny spoon.
“Danke.”
“You speak more German than I thought.” Taking in a small sip of coffee, he appeared surprised.
“Hardly, just a few phrases I learned. My aunt lives here remember? Oh, no. My aunt! I need to call her and tell her what’s happening. Crap, crap crap…”
Taking his hand, he immediately placed it over mine, holding it against the table gently.
“Violet, calm down, I remembered. We can call her after breakfast and work out when to visit. Relax.”
His tone was slightly authoritative, yet low. I couldn’t stop the pull deep in my center as his thumb swept slowly across my wrist, back and forth. Any fear of being unwanted washed away with the force of his gaze that paralyzed me. I remembered that look.
Dropping my eyes to the plate in front of me, I went back to eating with a foreign sense of calm. Breakfast was finished in silence, allowing me to take everything in. The windows were opened with no screens. The breeze floated in with a slight crispness of the early morning. Birds sang happily in the trees that lined the property.
Each time I gazed at Shepard, a smirk peeked from the corners of his mouth as our eyes met, making me look away. Henry was waiting outside of the hotel and assisted Shepard in loading our luggage. I sat on the fountain, listening to the bubbling water while waiting to leave. I was clueless as to what he had in store, but if this hotel was any indication, it was bound to be amazing. I was told we were going to Bad Reichenhall for the day and then staying in Salzburg for the night.
“Isn’t Salzburg the opposite direction of Bern?” I didn’t have a map in front of me, but I was familiar enough with geography to know where they were located in relation to each other.
“Yes, but…driving to countries here is like driving to another state. You are mere hours from each other. You don’t have much time, so it’s important to pack in as much as possible.”
I smiled at how considerate he was being, yet it was too hard not to wonder what his intentions were. I believed in fate to a degree, but I wasn’t that dense. I let the thoughts simmer silently in the back of my mind, simply watching to see what happened next. For the first time, I really didn’t need to be anywhere or do anything. He was right without knowing how right he was. I didn’t have much time. Closing my eyes to regain my strength, I pushed everything away besides this moment. Opening them to the most incredible man I have ever known made my heart sing. Just as before, his timing was perfect. His phone rang while I was lost in my thoughts, dragging me out of them.
“Hey John, is she ready? Yeah, I will be there shortly to pick her up. I have really missed her these past few weeks. Ciao.” With a laugh, he hit the end button on his phone and shook his head, then turned to me where he could see the wheels spinning.
“Where are we going, Shepard?” My body immediately tensed and started to scoot away from him.
With a mischievous smile he replied. “We are going to pick up my girlfriend.”
I couldn’t stop my face from dropping, along with my heart. I was stupid. I should have asked. I assumed because of everything he did, but he didn’t do anything to indicate otherwise. He didn’t directly hit on me. He did not tell me at any point there was someone else, then again, neither did I.
A searing heat was burning behind my eyes. Looking out of the window, I closed them so he wouldn’t see how swollen they were getting just yet. My heart was falling to pieces in my chest.
Girlfriend. He has a girlfriend.
Henry turned into a non-descript lot behind a brick building through an alleyway. It appeared to be a garage of some sort. Once stopped, Shepard grabbed my hand and tugged me towards his door.
“What are you doing?” Looking at his hand, I instantly recoiled back.
“Violet, it isn’t what you think.” Reaching out to take my hand again, my voice came out harsher than I anticipated. “Don’t touch me.”
Henry stared in the rearview mirror as if I had lost my mind. Shepard looked wounded at my apprehension to leave the car. I didn’t want to meet the woman who held his heart. I should be okay with this, but I wasn’t. I was a complete wreck, imagining her smug face looking down at me like a piece of trash. I did not need any more reminders of how many mistakes I made. Stepping out of the door closest to me, I walked around the back and kept a wide distance. Looking around, the gorgeous woman was not yet in view.
“Where is she?” I was not as brave as I tried to be. My feeble attempt to act calm was mediocre at best.
“I told you it’s not what you think.” He tried to laugh, but the stabbing in my gut continued. Mindlessly rubbing the coin necklace around my neck to settle down, I wanted to run yet again. I should have at the hotel; why didn’t I listen?
“Of course it is. We are here to pick up your girlfriend, what else would it be?”
Turning around to step in front of me, his eyes bore holes into my skull. “Why are you being like this?”
“It doesn’t matter, so don’t worry about it. I am sorry. I am being immature.”
He brought his hand up to my face to wipe away the tears that slipped down to my chin. Once again, I jerked back like a frightened animal from his touch.
“Violet, what’s happening to you?”
Turning my head away from his intense stare, I was crushing under its weight. Cracking a huge smile and straightening my shoulders, I pushed it down deep. I could do this.
“Sorry, I must still be tired. Let’s go, shall we?”
I was now overtly perky while heading into the shop. A bay with a lift had a very expensive car jacked up with a mechanic beneath it. A handsome man with deep olive skin and long black hair approached us. Gleaming white teeth contrasted against the caramel tone of his face. Looking me up and dow
n, he didn’t hide what he was thinking. A quick glance at Shepard gave nothing away. Shaking Shepard’s hand, the man had a thick Italian accent while speaking German. It was interesting to hear.
“Who is your lady friend, eh?”
Now giving me a warm gaze of affection, he possessively replied.
“John, this is Violet. Violet, this is John.”
The man reached out for my hand and kissed the knuckles longer than necessary. His forward behavior made my stomach turn.
“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Violet, although I must say I am perplexed. Shepard is here to pick up Violet.”
He now had an “I told you so” look with a devilish grin.
Just then, a bay door opened, revealing a sleek black sports car with a trident symbol on the grill.
John pulled on a white glove from his pocket and approached the car. The closer you got, the more you could see the color was not black, but a deep custom shade of purple. Both he and Shepard looked at the vehicle lustfully. Standing frozen in the same spot, I could not believe what just happened and how I reacted. I was a bigger mess than I thought. I walked back outside as the men talked; they didn’t notice I disappeared for some time.
Leaning against the ledge of the outer wall, I took deep breaths in and out. Anxiety flooded as the doubt began to scream. “What if it was a real girl? You are raving mad! It’s been six years, you walked away. You have no right to even think there is a place in his heart for you, no matter how kind he is being.”
My stomach clenched and my chest jerked, trying to hold back the tears. He would be better just taking me to the airport than having to deal with this. He had no clue how screwed up I really was. Holding my hands over my face, I wept silently. Turning to dig into my purse for a tissue, I failed to notice he was leaned right next to me.
Through a stuffed nose, I blurted out, “You should know I am crazy, back out while you can.”
“Stop saying that, Violet. It is my fault – it was a bad joke. I had no idea it would bother you this much.”
“It shouldn’t have bothered me. That’s what I am saying.”
Sliding a little closer, I heard him breathe out deeply. “For the record, there is no one else. Just so we are clear, is some guy going to come kick my ass for gallivanting across Europe with you?”