by Carla Hanna
If Manuel and I had not been friends since preschool, it would have been so nice to date Mitch. Manuel said dating Mitch would bust up their friendship because he’d punch out Mitch’s face if anything happened to me. I felt I had to choose between Manuel’s friendship with his weird sense of brotherly protection and a budding romance with Mitch. I wanted both but I was also so busy working. At work, I was kissing two guys on camera, Matthew and Grant, which was confusing off set, too. The month before, Evan and I kissed during the Romeo & Juliet worldwide premiere and slept in the same bed together several nights during the tour. We were both working on films but emailed and Skyped. I hoped Evan would be my boyfriend but thought it’d be silly to take him to my junior prom. The timing of my relationship with Mitch was just wrong. I decided I didn’t want to complicate my life and chose to break off the date to prom. I told him the truth. He appreciated that it wasn’t about him. Fortunately, Mitch had time to ask Beth to prom and they dated ever since.
~ GETTING READY ~
It took me forever to do my hair. I thought it would only take me a few minutes to do a simple up-do but it was not easy. The limo was coming. I needed more time. I called Manuel.
“Hey Manuel, I’m running a bit behind. Is it okay if we just drive my car? I’d be happy to still pay our share of the limo but I don’t want everybody to be late because of me.”
“Well, Marie, that would make my mom happy! She was trying to get me to bail on everybody so she could get pictures here. I already tried to pay Alan for the limo but he won’t take money from a busboy. I’ll text Alan and Mitch.”
“Good, thanks.” I responded, wanting to get off the phone so I could finish getting ready.
“Thanks again for the Vespa, even though you should never do that again.” He sighed. “Do you want me to come get you and drive your Prius back here for pictures?”
I bought Manuel a Vespa scooter for his 18th birthday, the weekend after he came to San Diego to be with me. Manuel thought it was too big of a gift and wanted me to return it. I didn’t.
“I can just drive over when I’m done.”
“Okay,” he said disappointed. “I’m ready, already, and will just sit around bored while Mom and Dad keep making eyes at each other.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a few,” I resigned and hurried to get dressed.
Manuel lived with his mom, Liz; dad, Carlos; and sister, Janet; in an apartment south of Montana Avenue and south of Wilshire Blvd. Liz owned the apartment building, managed it, and lived “rent free” in the biggest three-bedroom unit. She inherited it from her mom. Carlos worked for a delivery company. Like Dad, he was a gorgeous man but wanted nothing to do with Hollywood.
I wasn’t completely sure of how Liz and Carlos met, but from what I understood, Manuel’s parents met when Carlos delivered a package to the same apartment Liz has now, but at that time she shared it with her mom. She thought he was the sexiest man she had ever seen and flirted with him while she slowly signed the tracking receipt. It was a very hot day and she could see that he was sweating. She asked him if he wanted a glass of water and flirted as hard as she had ever flirted before. She wanted him badly. Finally, she just told him how she felt and she was soon making a baby with her Latino heartthrob.
Liz was loving but completely irresponsible. She often made me uncomfortable when she was brutally honest, which is the norm rather than the exception. On the other hand, I respected that her marriage to Carlos had lasted so long. After nineteen years, they were still madly in love with each other and truly loved their kids.
“Knock, knock.” Manuel laughed as he opened the front door. He meant to make his voice sound sinister, but I couldn’t remember from what movie he quoted. I was an actor who rarely watched TV but enjoyed the Star Trek Next Generation DVDs with the Borg. I thought of Hollywood at the Borg.
Manuel letting himself in was no big deal to me. Mom had a strict rule about who was allowed the door code. Whoever knew the code had to sign some legal document Martin came up with. I never read the form that Manuel had to sign. I just knew that he was not supposed to give the code to anyone, including his family.
“Where is the love of my life?” Manuel yelled.
“In my room, finishing my makeup,” I answered and closed the bathroom door so I could surprise him with the complete look.
My cell was ringing Dad’s ringtone. “Hey, that’s my dad. Can you get it?” I asked with the door to my bathroom still closed.
“Hi, Tom. Manuel here. How is Northern California treating you? How are the horses?”
There was a pause before Manuel answered, “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty cool taking your gorgeous daughter to prom.” Another pause, “Yeah, of course she’s lucky, too. I am the bomb,” he laughed and answered another question. “Yeah, I’ll take good care of her.”
Manuel answered again, “Yeah, I was really surprised and grateful. My best friend gets me a Vespa so I can get around without the headache of finding a parking place. Now what should I get her for her birthday on my meager restaurant tips?”
I didn’t want Manuel to feel like he had to reciprocate. He was my best friend. I loved him. I had way too much money and it was absolutely trivial for me to buy him a necessary mode of transportation. I bought him his road bike for his 16th birthday, and he refused to ride it until I forgave him for a fight that we had and until he took me to my favorite restaurant on Wilshire for dinner. Manuel was totally broke and had to babysit his neighbor’s brats for several weeks to afford the dinner. He liked taking me to dinner, saying that he wanted to fatten me up because I was way too thin. I was.
“Please don’t go all out for my birthday,” I said as I opened the door.
I took Manuel by surprise. He wasn’t used to seeing me with a little bit of makeup on. Either I didn’t wear makeup or I was extremely made up. I usually had on lipstick, sunglasses, and a hat whenever we went somewhere. If we went anywhere; he preferred not being in public with me. We usually just hung out at his apartment or my house. He got uncomfortable when people stared at me.
I was also surprised to see Manuel. He stunned me every time I saw him since I could remember, but this time I didn’t have to hide it. He looked dazzling in his tux.
“Wow,” he said to Dad with a huge smile on his face. “Your daughter looks pretty.”
I put my hand out for the phone. He took it, kissed the top of my hand without letting go of my eyes, and handed my cell to me. I took his other hand in mine and smiled at him.
I laughed a bit uncomfortably, “Hey Dad.”
“Lia, sorry to call so late but you didn’t answer this morning. Celia and I are flying in tomorrow. We should be there after two in the afternoon. Celia wants to stop at the bakery. Do you want a pretzel croissant?”
“Yeah, that would be awesome. Thanks,” I answered and then interrupted, “Manuel, can you please zip me up?”
Dad laughed. “Lia, you’re going to drive that boy out of his mind. Do you have any idea how hard it must be for a teenaged boy to zip his girlfriend’s dress on prom night?”
“Thanks for the reminder, Dad. And thanks for coming tomorrow.” Manuel kissed my back and neck while he zipped my dress. “I will be so happy to see you and Celia! Love you.” I concentrated to hit “end” on the phone.
Awkwardly, I turned to Manuel, smiled, and kissed him. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend.”
I hugged him and rested my head on his chest, careful not to get makeup on his tux. His hug was wanting and rigid. I stepped back and studied his expression. “What’s up? You look nervous.”
He smiled as he took my hands in his. “I have naughty thoughts.” He chuckled. “I thought I could stay with you tonight, ya know, but of course we wouldn’t make love.” He brought me into a hug and smiled at me. “I sure would like to wake up next to you. Please don’t think I’m trying to get some before you’re ready.”
I thought waking up with him would be glorious. I certainly trusted him. “I’d love t
hat, too.”
He lifted me up when he kissed me. I floated. We both relaxed after I touched the ground. I asked, “Now that we got past my parent, let’s get on to yours. Do you want to drive my car? I don’t mind being a passenger if you want to feel manly.”
“From one sissy vehicle to another. With all your money, why can’t you get a Ferrari? Now that would be a fun car to drive to prom,” he said as we he headed to the garage.
When we got there I noticed Mom’s Porsche and asked, “Why don’t you drive Michelle’s car?”
He smiled. “No way. That’d be awesome!”
He took out his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number.
“Hey, Michelle.” He smiled at me and answered her question, “Yeah, we’re ready now.” He answered another question, “Well, I wanted to know if I could borrow your Porsche?” He smiled. “Thanks! That’s so awesome!” He listened again and raised his eyebrows. “Well, that’s up to her.” He grinned. “Claro. Adiós.”
I went inside and got her keys out of the drawer and then handed them to Manuel. I laughed because he was so happy.
It only took a few minutes to get to his home. His parents and sister waited outside a carport that Liz waved us into, borrowing it from one of her renters.
Liz was attractive, striking but not pretty. She had the most perfect, porcelain skin I had ever seen. She had brown hair and brown eyes, never wore a touch of makeup, and had several tattoos. I had rarely seen her wear anything on her feet but rhinestone-studded flip flops. Her nails were usually painted in some awful color like black, fire orange, or green. Her toes were painted green with yellow daisies on top. She was in a low v-cut sun dress and black bra. It was always either this look or colored bra, tank and bling jeans. She liked to show off her “art.” She must have known that she had perfect skin. I followed her.
“How are your tenants? Any surprise evictions this week?” I fumbled.
Liz laughed. “Lord. You know you live in Santa Monica when a prospective tenant hands you a business card and her job is ‘writer and wellness enthusiast.’ You know how that translates in my mind: unemployed. I see an eviction in my future.”
“You both look gorgeous together. Now let’s see the love,” Janet said as she snapped some photos. Janet was stunning but had an edge to her. She looked much older than fourteen and already had tattoos and piercings.
“You do look handsome, Manuel,” I agreed.
“Thanks. You look totally gorgeous.” He smiled and held my hand as we followed Liz to the courtyard.
We had held hands since his break-up with Kate, but holding his hand in that moment was different. I felt his love emanate from his body, so much so that I didn’t want to let go of his hand. I didn’t want to be far from him. I wanted to be attached to him at the same time that I felt awkwardly nervous around him. I had to concentrate on breathing when we put our arms around each other for the prom photos.
I definitely thought my heart stopped when he kissed me before I got back into the Porsche.
As we made our way to the restaurant, I wondered why I was so odd. Most teenagers didn’t talk to their parents about everything, including sex and insecurities. But I did, except about Byron—I didn’t want Mom to punish him. I confided in Mom and Grandma May because I thought there was something wrong with me.
I didn’t have friends besides Manuel, Evan and Franz so shoulders to cry on were few and far between. My best girlfriend used to be Kate but I had to choose whom to support before the break-up and I chose Manuel. Even with Sam, Alan, Beth and Mitch I guarded my feelings, guarded my privacy. As a celebrity, it was difficult to trust that someone would not sell my secrets.
I asked Mom about how she felt about her lovers to help me figure out what I should do with Manuel. She explained that she only felt passionately in love with Dad. No other lover held her heart as he did. She said that she was a virgin when she married Dad and making love to him was glorious. She never cheated on him. Although she had too many offers to count to cheat on him, she never wanted to. She loved him, just not enough to leave her career. She told me that she lost interest when she lost Dad.
Grandma May was against me having premarital sex. She was a Salish Christian and it was against her morals. She said she loved both her husbands completely, with passion and trust. She said she has lived three completely fulfilled lives.
Her first husband was her soul mate. Like her, he was Native American from the Flathead Lake Reservation who took her as his bride after his wife died in an accident. May’s oldest sister was good friends with his wife. May met him at his wife’s funeral and was ashamed of herself for flirting with him. She said it was love at first sight. A few months later, they saw each other again in Polson, Montana. He asked her out and they married a few months later after she finished high school. She said making love with him was wonderful, a union of souls. He was a man of passion though he had no direction. He roamed from job to job and was kind of lazy, actually. It was no shock to her that he died while drunk driving. He was like a lion.
Grandma May said that her second husband, Bill, was also her soul mate. He was an educated white guy from Great Falls, Montana. His dad was a doctor. Bill graduated from Montana State in Bozeman and thought he could build a successful dude ranch enterprise. His family owned land in the Paradise Valley right on the Yellowstone River, so he pitched a business plan to investors and took out a small business loan to build the dude ranch. He hired an architect from Bozeman but took on the role of superintendent himself. He helped build the stables, guest cabins and lodge. Most of the sub-contractors he hired came from Manhattan, Montana. Bill met May when he got supplies from the supply and lumber company where she worked.
May said that they didn’t have a romance. Bill didn’t even know she had kids. The project took about a year to complete and during the last month, he told her that he was crazy about her. Bill met her kids. He took them to dinner a few times. May liked him, too, but didn’t think anything would come of it. She was a Native American living paycheck to paycheck to raise her kids.
May remembered that Bill’s proposal was a gift from the spirits. Bill came down to the office to pay his final invoice in person. He asked May to lunch and proposed. She was completely taken by surprise but accepted. Then they had their first kiss. It wasn’t earth shattering, not like the fire that ignited her with her first husband. But it was nice. And she liked that this man knew what he wanted and clearly saw it through. Bill was a force of nature—a man of action and a man of his word. He was like a mountain.
Grandma May said that she loves her third life, too. She said it is rich with the love from her five children and her grandchildren. She said she is a river now. Life and love flow through her.
I asked Dad, too. Dad asked me first if I really wanted to know, being my dad and all. I promised that I would not judge him for what he felt.
He reluctantly said that guys my age have little control and last no more than a minute or two— so I wouldn’t get anything out of it, so don’t bother.
He said that his lovely wife, Celia, was like the most prized rainbow trout in any river and he was the fly fisherman. He caught the most beautiful fish, decided to keep it because of its great size and beauty, and it became part of him. It nourished him. Celia gave up part of herself to be with him. She still nourishes him. He has no desire to fish again.
Then he told me he would keep a shotgun ready if anyone hurt me. He told me not to do it until I was married.
I couldn’t help but think about what prom night would mean for Manuel and me. We certainly couldn’t get married at eighteen.
~ SENIOR PROM ~
We met up with everyone we ditched on the limo ride at the restaurant. We laughed a ton and reminisced. I even ate dessert. Manuel held my hand on the drive to the dance and told me the gossip about all our friends there. I was surprised that so much sex was going on amongst my classmates, and Manuel roared with laughter each time I was surprised by some sca
ndal.
As we were driving I realized that Hollywood’s casual sex expectation conflicted with my family’s abstinence message, leaving me completely stressed out. I was torn between opposite cultural values. Fortunately, Manuel was, too.
He interrupted my thoughts. “Hey, you’re miles away. ¿Cómo estás?”
“Sorry,” I said as we arrived at the Getty Villa and museum off of the Pacific Coast Highway and parked.
I wasn’t sure if Manuel asked me if I was okay in English or Spanish. He always mixed his languages, like his dad. Manuel’s grandpa was the son of a German academic who fled to Argentina with his Jewish wife during the Nazi era.
I was surprised when I was five years old that his grandpa didn’t look at all like what I thought he was supposed to look like. His grandpa was handsome, a tall, fit man over 6’3” with sandy-brown hair and light brown eyes. My stereotype was shattered, the first time of many. I expected him to look like Ira when I heard that he was Jewish, not some tall, handsome white guy who resembled a professional basketball player.
“Wow. That’s a pretty view,” Manuel said as we both got out of the car.
The Getty was like a castle on the bluff above the PCH, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. To the south, I saw past the Los Angeles airport. To the north, I saw past Malibu. The large, round orange sun was low on the horizon to the west, casting a yellow orange glow on the water and streaking the thin clouds with purples, reds, and orange colors. It was breathtaking.
“Yeah, it is pretty.” I marveled and paused while I took it in. “This has been such a fun night!” I exclaimed. “And you know how I love the ocean.”