“I had no idea what we were in for,” Malcolm said, once they were all comfortable. “I mean…yesterday…those things chasing us…and what just happened…I can’t wrap my brain around it. I have to be honest guys…I’m pretty scared.”
Eddie nodded.
“I feel like something is watching out for us, though,” Gavin said. “I mean, we’ve been lucky, you have to admit. We got lucky twice. I wonder if Ben is doing more than we realize.”
“I think that’s safe to say,” Albert said. “It’s like, such a beautiful land, such a beautiful place, but beyond anything I would’ve imagined…and scary as hell. Who knows what’s waiting for us next.”
For a while, they were silent again. But soon, their talk turned to home, perhaps more to take their minds off the experience of what had just happened. Seth felt like a vulnerable child again, and he actually welcomed it. They were going to have to repeat the fifth grade, he supposed. All of them.
If we make it back home, he thought.
Seth asked if everyone got along well with their parents, and what their home lives were like.
“Makes me feel stupid now,” Albert said. “Especially after all that. I’m always giving my mom a hard time, just…you know…being difficult. It’s funny how a ten ton nightmare can put things in perspective.”
“Join the club,” Kinsey said, and shuddered.
They still looked pale and wan by the encounter.
“But…seriously,” Albert went on. “It feels so stupid. Not what you think. Now that we’ve been out here for a couple of days, I keep thinking about it. How it isn’t bad at all. I didn’t realize I had it so good, and that makes me feel even worse. So what if my mom wants me to clean up my room or help with the dishes, or make sure my homework is done? What a stupid thing to complain about.”
Seth couldn’t help but agree. If there was anything he couldn’t wait to get back to it was life at home, and what he realized he’d taken advantage of…something he’d never thought about until now: his safety.
“I know what you mean,” Eddie said. “I’d give anything to be with Mom right now.”
Seth looked up. It occurred to him how little he knew about Eddie Higglesby. “What’s your home life like?” he asked.
Eddie shrugged. The boy didn’t seem the brainy geek Seth remembered on the first day of school. Under the stars, Eddie appeared a wizened old man, grasping every complexity of life.
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Seth told him.
“No,” Eddie said, looking into his lap. “It’s okay. I’ve never said anything because of how stupid it sounds. I guess I feel like Albert. It all seems so…childish. How funny to even mention that. I mean, Malcolm had a pretty hard blow. Gavin, though, wins the game in the ‘brutal life department,’ I think.”
“I didn’t think it was a competition,” Gavin said. “It’s not about sympathy.”
Malcolm smiled. “He’s got a point. But I don’t think that matters, either. We all have things we have to deal with.” He looked at Gavin. “Some harder than others. Some—at least to some of us—completely unfair.”
The others nodded, and Eddie continued:
“That’s why I thought it was stupid complaining about it. Especially after everything that’s happened. What are we talking about this for anyway? We just ran into something in the last two days…something…I don’t know…and here we are complaining about our home lives?”
“I think it’s just something that came up, something we need to talk about it,” Malcolm said.
“Yeah,” Albert said, nodding. “There’s something about it. Something important is going on, and it’s not just what we’re battling physically. There’s more to it than that.”
Eddie took a deep breath. Everyone waited for him. Their faces were ghostly blue in the light of the moon and the stars.
“My dad hates me,” Eddie said, simply, staring down at his lap. “I mean…he doesn’t hate me, I guess. It’s just obvious the way he talks to me, like he’s disappointed or something, ashamed. He always compares me to my older brother, Dennis, or my sister, Elise. Dennis is, like, the perfect son. He does everything right. And he does it perfectly. He gets all A’s. He got a scholarship to some university. I don’t have anything against Dennis. We get along. It’s not that Dad thinks so much of him. But…” Thickness came into his voice, a particular abandonment. His family ignored him, Seth thought. “I remember they were talking, just laughing and stuff. Him and Dennis and Mom. They were all gonna go out and play tennis. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go. When I asked them what they were doing, they told me, and they still didn’t ask me. Finally, I asked them myself. I said, ‘Dad? Can I come play tennis with you guys?’ He just looked at me funny. They all stopped and looked at me. He said, ‘You stay here with your sister. You wouldn’t like tennis anyway. You’re too young for it.’ It’s like that all the time. ‘You’re too young for it.’ I never bothered to ask again. I stayed home with Elise. We get along pretty well, too, I guess, but she’s always on the phone. So, I kinda stay home a lot. I do…whatever, I guess. That’s why I didn’t hesitate about coming. I knew I was gonna come along. I just didn’t believe it. I never thought it would actually happen. You know? I just wanted to get away. I even thought, ‘Maybe now that I’m gone, they’ll notice me.’ Funny, huh?
“’Course, I’m kinda scared. I saw Dad beat the crap out of Dennis once because his grades were slipping. He got a C on some paper. He wanted to know how a kid expected to get a scholarship when he’s pulling stuff like that. I keep thinking if that’s what Dad’s gonna do when Dennis gets a C, what’s he gonna do after if I’ve been gone all this time?” Eddie shook his head. The others watched him.
“What the hell is wrong with people?” Albert asked. Anger sharpened his face, making him look sinister in the dark. “Why do people have kids if they’re gonna treat them like that? Look what you have to go through? Gavin. Eddie. Jeez. I didn’t realize I had it so good. My life isn’t so bad. My mom asks me to do things, and my dad’s actually pretty cool. But none of this other crap goes on, beating up kids, treating them like shit.” He shook his head. “Goddamnit,” he said, under his breath.
“Maybe Seth will let you borrow the sword when we’re done with our adventure,” Malcolm told Eddie.
“Here,” Albert said. “You can have the rifle. Take the damn thing. Let Gavin borrow it when you’re done.” Albert surprised Eddie by pushing his pack toward him, the rifle no longer in the waterproof case, but in plain sight.
“I think your dad and my mom ought to get together and play Twister,” Gavin told Eddie.
Eddie smiled.
Did all kids go through some traumatic thing, Seth thought? What about his own life? He’d had a father at one time, but now he couldn’t imagine life with one. He accepted his role as the youngest and only boy in the house. The universe consisted of Masie, his mother, and the meadow. Nothing else existed…nothing until now. On a bewildering act of faith, he was traveling with five companions to a palace they’d only dreamed about. They had a watcher, a guardian in the form of a tiger.
He didn’t understand why kids had the lives they did…or adults for that matter. He could see, though…they were being tried, molded into permanent adulthood at the early age of ten. Was it something to feel sorry about? Or did God understand how life was going to shape you because of your childhood?
“The only thing that sucks is that you have to live with it,” Malcolm said to Eddie. “You’re no bigger than your dad, so you have to do what he says. But if you’ve found a space that’s comfortable, and it allows you to deal with it, then that’s okay. I did the same thing. I was only seven when my parents were killed. I barely understood who they were, really. I’m not gonna say I didn’t cry when I lost them, because I did. Then my grandpa, for the last few years, just kind of…locked himself away. It wasn’t until recently he came out of his shell. I surrounded myself with everything I knew, e
verything I thought I’d like. You have to take what you can and go forward. Adults still think we’re kids when we don’t want to be. The good thing is we still know when to act like kids, so they’ll leave us alone. I’m not saying its okay to feel sorry for yourself, but you have to make what you can out of it. You have to find a way out, whatever that means. My grandpa drinks, or at least, drank. Eddie’s dad does it, Gavin’s mom, even Seth’s dad. Didn’t you say your dad left because of drinking?”
“Basically,” Seth said.
“See, it’s everywhere,” Malcolm said. “But you don’t have to drink to be a bad person. My grandpa isn’t a bad person. It’s just…common. Common in a real bad way, maybe. Unfortunately, we get the blunt end of it. Most of the time. The goal is to learn from it. To not be what you most despise.” Malcolm looked at everyone and smiled. “Sorry,” he said. “Life according to Malcolm. I hope everyone got their money’s worth.”
Light chuckles issued in the dark, and the wind blew softly.
“Man,” Gavin said. “It’s getting cold.”
“Do you think your mom misses you, Gavin?” Malcolm asked.
Gavin smiled and laughed. “Yeah, about as much as she misses a hole in the head. The only thing she misses is beating the crap out of me.” He was talking with less pain and moving around almost as well as the others, Seth noticed. Since their discussion under the trees at Samuel’s Creek two days ago, he looked healthier, and yes…different.
Malcolm was looking at Kinsey.
“What?” Kinsey asked.
“Sorry,” Malcolm said. “I guess I was wondering about everybody. Maybe there’s a lot more to resolve on this trip than we realize. Maybe it’s not all about the Dragon. Maybe it’s about us, too. Maybe we have things to work out, things we have to make better within ourselves…maybe even with our parents.”
“You think I have these brutal parents?” Kinsey asked him.
Malcolm shrugged. “I didn’t say that. I was just wondering if there was something about your home life that you wish you could change.”
The others looked at her and waited.
“This sounds like a therapy class,” Kinsey said.
They smiled.
“Okay,” she relented. “My mom and dad are still together. And neither one of them drink, and neither one of them beat me. And they don’t beat each other.” She paused.
“Here it comes,” Albert said.
Kinsey looked at him. “I don’t know. It’s like their invisible. Like they don’t know how to live. It’s fake. At least I think it’s fake. The way they are together. Dad sleeps on the couch. He never sleeps with Mom anymore. They never kiss, never say they love each other. Stuff like that. I don’t even think they love each other. I don’t think they love each other at all. It’s scary. Its like they’re too caught up trying to be the perfect family, they don’t realize they’re living a lie.”
Kinsey paused for a while, then went on:
“I remember how I thought they were perfect. Because they’re Mom and Dad, you know? They know everything. They’re the greatest. But they don’t. They’re just people. They don’t know everything. I don’t know what’s worse. Finding out your parents are just people, or not finding out. I hate that. I think of all things, that’s the worst.
“I pray at night sometimes. I pray they’ll love each other again. Even when we go camping, it’s like they’re waiting for their time to spend with me. Like they can’t afford to spend time together, and I’m the reason they keep it together. They just kind of…exist. They don’t do anything more than that. I hate it. We have these big camping trips every year. They’re supposed to be this big deal, but God! They never say anything to each other. It drives me crazy! We’ll drive through the mountains for hours, and no one will say anything at all. It’s Dad’s big reason for keeping the family a family, I guess. It’s the most terrible thing to sit through. Like you’re being punished.” Kinsey stopped and wiped her eyes. “If I could make them love each other, I would. I would in a heartbeat. But it seems weird. I don’t think praying does anything. I don’t think it helps at all.”
“I’m sorry,” Malcolm said. “I didn’t realize…if I’d known…”
Kinsey looked up and smiled. “It’s okay.” She tried to laugh, but an awkward sound came out instead. “I didn’t have to tell you if I didn’t want to. They say group therapy is supposed to be good for you.”
“Fifth Grade Group Therapy Session,” Gavin said. “Just sign on the dotted line.”
Malcolm laughed out of character.
“What’s so funny?” Eddie asked.
“I just remembered. I’m eleven today.”
This made everyone laugh, even Kinsey.
“Happy Birthday,” Seth said.
“I think you deserve a song,” Kinsey said.
“Yeah, a song,” Albert agreed.
Malcolm blushed. “I knew it was a mistake telling you. I should’ve kept it to myself.”
“On three,” Kinsey said, the previous conversation forgotten. Kinsey waved her hands. “One, two, three…”
On the count of three, they all joined in and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Malcolm.
When they finished, Albert said, “I didn’t bring you a present.”
“You being alive is the only present I need,” Malcolm said.
Albert raised his eyebrows and nodded.
Seth thought about what a perfect answer that was. If he could have any present at all, it was to make it home alive…with all of his friends.
ii
They slept fitfully after their talk. Seth stared at the roof of the tent in the dark. In the distance, a slow rumble shook the earth, hardly noticeable, but it was there. He wondered about the giant beast that had come into camp. It had to have seen them, even after it ate the dog-like creatures. So, why hadn’t it come back for them?
Maybe it only feeds on beasts. Maybe it only has an appetite for them.
Seth fell asleep with the thought, and awoke refreshed by morning. It was the best sleep he’d gotten in two days. Kinsey and Malcolm were already outside, getting their things together.
They folded up the tents after a light breakfast and resumed their journey. The clouds were heavy and dark above them again, thunder rumbling in the distance. The only constant, it seemed, was the rain.
Seth noticed several ground squirrels nibbling on a nut or a berry of some kind. The sight of wildlife rejuvenated Seth and his friends, and he was thinking about how much of it they’d seen lately. It made him feel closer to home.
The cool, fresh mountain air felt good too, he realized. As he walked, he smiled, taking in the natural beauty of the mountains, trees, flowers, and rock formations.
Seth understood what Malcolm had talked about the night before. They were fighting for more than their lives, more than Ellishome. Their quest had only begun to unveil itself.
Would Kinsey continue to be a scapegoat for her parents? Would Eddie ever amount to what his father expected? What about Malcolm, or himself? And Gavin? Did he come all this way to be severely beaten, perhaps, for the last time? Did any of it even matter?
Seth tried not to think about it and instead, focused on the scenery, the tall pine trees stretching off in all directions, the leaden sky, and the smell of pure mountain air.
His companions made small talk up ahead, laughing at something Gavin or Eddie said. He enjoyed listening to his friends, especially after the last two days. For a time, he was able to lose himself in the mountainous terrain and simply savor the hike.
Soon, the rain stopped, and the clouds parted, the sun and blue sky shining through. Rays of warmth touched Seth’s face. He looked at Gavin and noticed the boy doing the same, letting the rays beat upon him.
Seth closed his eyes, breathing in the mountain air. His thoughts expanded, seeming to reach across the universe.
There is a multitude more to your imagination. You can look for miles in any direction, see anything you wish. You can see through
and beyond these massive walls of rock.
Ben, Seth thought. For some reason, he understood. All he had to do was reach out and pluck it from the air. He was a visionary.
To hope, he thought, and to always return. No matter how far away from home, or how many years pass you by, you can always come back. It’s always here for you to see. Do not be afraid.
Seth had never experienced a connection to the earth like he did then.
See it, feel it. Know that I’m alive.
Ben was telling him about a possibility for a different future.
Maybe the palace wasn’t merely a place of dreams. Maybe it, too, wanted him to reside within its massive walls. Maybe the palace was home as well.
Yes, he thought, maybe there was more to this than he realized.
It needed a king to rule its lands. He would be the one chosen. What else was the sword for? He would never go back to Ellishome, the reason Ben had come to him in the first place, to help him understand other worlds needed him more than his own.
This is enough for you, and you for it, intertwined between a duel of light and dark, between remote stars. Hear my cry. Fight, boy, or put down your sword!
He laughed. Eddie looked back at him. Seth shrugged, lost in a world all his own.
The others stopped ahead, and his whimsical thoughts vanished. He’d been so preoccupied he hadn’t noticed they’d come to a clearing of high grass. Purple and yellow flowers filled the area.
“Heartleaf anica,” Eddie said. “And look! Purple wayleaf!”
“What?” Gavin asked.
“The flowers all around. They’re heartleaf anica and purple wayleaf. Pretty cool, huh?”
“How on earth do you know that?”
Eddie shrugged. “I had to pick a flower to write about for science class once. It had to be local. I chose the yellow heartleaf anica, but I remember the purple wayleaf, too. Maybe we’re not so far from home after all.” He patted Gavin on the back, as if this thought should reassure him.
Snapdragon Book II: In the Land of the Dragon Page 11