by White, Carré
“I’m glad, sir.”
“My sister is about to grace us with her presence, and I would like to say that she is as open and welcoming, but…” he seemed to hesitate…“her mentality isn’t as gregarious. She’s firmly entrenched in certain ways of thinking, although why she would want to travel so far under appalling conditions is beyond me. You’ve been on a wagon train before. You know how challenging it is.”
“She must miss her brother, sir. That could be the only reason.”
“Or she’s determined to see me married to Clarissa.” His mouth had turned down.
The fact that he was confiding in me in such a manner was astonishing. I felt more and more like his friend, and I couldn’t help enjoying every moment of it. “You wouldn’t do anything you didn’t wish to, I’m sure. Or does your sister hold a threat over your head? Are you bullied by her?” I grinned, mostly because I was trying to get his goat.
“Afraid of my own sister?”
“Some men are weak when faced with the demands of their family. The same can be said of women, and this is unfortunately true for us. We must do as we’re told.”
“What are you saying exactly?” He’d crossed his arms over his chest.
“Nothing, sir.”
“You’re trying to say something. Out with it.”
“You don’t strike me as the sort of person who takes direction from others. That’s all.”
“You think I’d cower before my sister and her friend?” An eyebrow lifted.
“Not cower, just, perhaps, be easily swayed.”
“I see, although, you’ve formed this opinion based on nothing, since you don’t know me. You haven’t the slightest clue how I am with my family.”
“But you’re worried that your sister will tell you what to do. She does have some influence on you, sir, otherwise you wouldn’t have brought it up.”
“I should’ve kept it to myself.”
“I’m sorry,” I giggled. “I warned you about my mouth. I was teasing a little, sir. I know you’ll do whatever you wish, even with your sister here.”
He stared at me; from the look on his face, the wheels were turning in his mind. “But, you’ve read me too well. She’s as overbearing and manipulative as my mother was. I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you. Elizabeth’s going to hate Denver City. She’ll take one look at the prairie and see dust and distance, not the beauty of the vista. I know her too well.”
“Then you’re prepared for what will happen.”
“I don’t wish to argue with her.” He ran fingers through his hair. “You’re right about our relationship. She’s older than I am and I dare say a spinster now. She never did meet anyone she wanted to marry.”
“There are plenty of men who need wives here.”
He laughed, “Elizabeth would never consider such a thing. Her standards are impossibly high, but she has no qualms about telling me what to do with my life.”
“Surely you can say no, right, sir?”
“I will, but what a scene. I’ve enjoyed this week of peace. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to pursue this particular venture. Not only will the railroads be profitable, but it also took me away from her machinations. I don’t want to marry someone of her choosing. I’ll decide that myself. The last time…” his look darkened…“I did as I was told, and I married who they chose. I adored Georgette, but…” He was about to reveal a great deal or was he? “I…never mind.”
“I’m sure you’ll handle the situation with delicacy.”
He ignored that. “She must’ve left shortly after I arrived in St. Joseph. She can’t be that far behind.” This seemed to irritate him. “After Georgette passed away, she came to live with me. She took charge of Rosalind’s care, hiring a wet nurse and all of that. I was grateful for her efforts, but it wasn’t two months before women began to arrive at the house—all of them handpicked for my consideration. Can you imagine? My wife wasn’t even cold in her grave yet.” He closed his eyes. “Work was the perfect excuse to leave. I thought I could live here in peace and not worry about being auctioned off in the marriage market.”
Things had become clearer now. “I see.”
“Why can’t I live in happy widower-hood? Is it such a crime not to be attached? I vowed after Georgette that I’d only marry again if I was truly, deeply in love. These feelings can’t be manipulated by an outside source. Can you understand that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why am I telling you all of this?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you mind hearing it?”
“I like to hear about your life. I don’t mind at all. I just wish I could help you. Perhaps, you should go to Georgetown for the winter. The roads will be almost impassable soon. She can’t find you there.”
He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “That’s quite the idea.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“The only problem is, my work is here.”
I sighed. “Then I don’t know what else to tell you.”
“What if I were to marry again?”
My eyes widened. “But I thought that was what you were trying to avoid? You said you wouldn’t marry again unless you were hopelessly in love.”
“Men are never hopelessly in love.”
“You’ve lost me completely.”
“What if this marriage was slightly less than legal?”
“What?”
“What if, say, you and I were to pretend to be married for the duration of her stay?”
I gasped. “That wouldn’t work at all, sir. Firstly, everyone in town would hear about it, and my reputation would be ruined.”
“I’ve offended you.”
“That was a stupid idea.”
“Really?”
“You would use me as a decoy, when she would find out easily enough that our union is not legal or blessed in the eyes of the church. Then what would she think of me, of you? It wouldn’t work, sir.”
“No, you’re right, yet again.” He glanced at the doorway. “When’s that blasted bath arriving?”
Now he was frustrated, yet I couldn’t help thinking about the plan he thought I might agree to. “I’ll go check.” I moved passed him, but he took my arm.
“I’m sorry, Mary.” He drew me near, which was alarming. “I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s been a long day, and I might’ve had too much whiskey. Samuel and Matthias never did let my glass run out.”
I stared at him, not trying to free myself at all, but I knew I should.
“You’re a lovely girl, Mary. You adore Rosalind, you’re a hard worker, and you talk to me like a friend. You speak your mind. What I want to know is, what are you thinking now? When I look at you sometimes, I struggle to guess your thoughts. I would dearly love to know them.”
That was astonishing. “I…think…I like you very much, Brandon. I’m afraid it might’ve crossed over to other, stronger emotions. I’ve never felt as at ease with anyone before. I’ve nothing to offer, of course. My family is from a modest background and none of us are wealthy, although I’ve had some education. I…oh, goodness.”
Before he could say anything, the sound of a knock brought our attention to the door. “That would be the bath. You get that, and I’ll gather my things. Will you…be kind enough to help me with my hair?”
“I can do that.”
“Get the door then.”
As I left him, my emotions were in a strange state, mostly because I had all but revealed my true feelings. I would never pretend to be his wife, though, and I still prickled with unease at the suggestion.
Opening the door, an army of servants arrived, bringing in the tub and bucket after bucket of water. Each was deposited, and the screen put in place. Mr. Carlyle undressed behind the barrier, stepping into the bath. Megan was in her room with her children, while Rosalind had fallen asleep in the bassinette. The cat was with her, curled up by her side. Seeing them together in such a manner was enchanting.
When I returned
to the parlor, Mr. Carlyle heard my approach. “Can you pour water over my head, Mary?”
“I’ll get the pitcher.” I would have to use the bathwater. I came in behind him, knowing that he sat with his back to the fire. “All right. Close your eyes.” I dunked the pitcher into the water, which was cloudy, pouring it over his head. He used the block of soap to lather the tresses into a milky white residue. “All right. Here’s more.”
“Thank you.”
I dunked the pitcher repeatedly, until most of the soap had been rinsed. “There. That’s the best it’ll do.” I handed him a towel.
“Is there anymore tea?”
“There might be some left, but I’m not sure it’s warm anymore.”
“I don’t mind. Can you bring me a cup?”
“Yes.”
He sat back, his arms resting on either side of the tub. “This is delightful. I should’ve done it earlier.”
I’d gone to the table, touching the pot. “It’s still warm.”
“Excellent.”
After pouring the fluid, I handed him the cup. “Here you are.”
“You may talk to me, if you wish.”
“Certainly.” I moved away from him, sitting on the sofa, which offered only a view of the screen.
“I won’t be long. You can tell Allette that they can come get everything soon enough. I just want to wait until the water’s no longer warm.”
“Take your time.”
“Are you still angry with me?”
I knew what he was referring to. “No, sir. You were only grasping at straws. You wouldn’t have really gone through with a plan as outrageous as that, would you?”
“You’re right, as usual. I see now that everyone would know it was a farce. That’s what I’ve been thinking about, while sitting here. What if it wasn’t a farce? What if I…married you…in the eyes of God and all your family?”
My heart hammered in my chest. “How much whiskey did you have?”
Laughter filled the room. “I’m getting out. Will you call for Allette?”
“I will.” Had he been serious?
Once the bath had been taken away and my employer was properly dressed, Rosalind had woken from her sleep, demanding to be fed. I brought her to Megan, who had been asleep. She attached the baby to a breast, while lying down, not having the energy to sit up. It seemed to work nonetheless, and, after Rosalind was satiated, I returned her to bed, but she continued to fuss.
“Oh, goodness gracious.” Lifting her out, I held her to me. “We’re not having a good night now, are we?” Returning to the parlor, someone had added logs to the blaze, which now cracked and popped. “Let’s sit for a while.”
“Is she hungry?” asked Mr. Carlyle, who had entered the room dressed in his nightclothes and robe. I was dressed similarly.
“She’s fussy. She just ate.”
He approached, feeling her forehead. “She doesn’t seem warm.” He sat next to me, his knee brushing mine. “Do you think her teeth are coming in?”
“I don’t know. She might be overtired. She didn’t nap today, although she slept a little in the carriage.”
“Give her to me.” I did so, and he held her to him. “There, there, little one. What’s the matter?”
“I could put her down and rub her back. I think she’s terribly tired.”
“All right.” He kissed her cheek, handing her to me.
“I’ll be back.” I left him then, hoping Rosalind would finally go to sleep. She fussed for a while, and I rubbed her back, praying she would settle. It was another ten minutes before she closed her eyes and quieted. I scooped up Paws and brought her to Megan’s room, where Judy was elated to see her.
When I returned to the parlor, Mr. Carlyle sat, staring into the fire. “Is my idea such a bad one?”
“You didn’t mean what you said earlier, did you?”
“I do believe I did.”
I sat next to him, admiring his profile. “What exactly is the offer, and is it a real one?”
“I can provide a rather nice lifestyle.”
“I realize that, but…you said you wouldn’t marry again unless you felt deeply about the woman.”
“Who says I don't feel that way about you?” He met my gaze, which caused me to swallow. “I can find no fault with you…even your mouth.” He grinned.
“You do seem to take my impertinence rather well.”
“I don’t mind a strong woman who knows her own mind. I’m not interested in a meek wallflower who can only say yes and no. That would be dull indeed. I like a little spark and passion. I’ve seen both in you.”
“What about your family? What would they think?”
“My mother passed away two years ago. My father didn’t live long enough to see us out of the schoolroom. My mother’s father was a wealthy man, and, upon his death, she inherited it all. I’ve almost no ties left anywhere, besides my sister. She would be the only one who would dare to object in my choice of partner, and I don’t plan to give her the opportunity to do that.”
“But…I’d want to live here, sir. I doubt you’d agree to that. All my family is here.”
“Live in this lawless, dusty town?” He smiled faintly. “This heathen bedlam? The town too dead to bury?”
“You shouldn’t insult my place of residence.” But, I wasn’t insulted, trying to hide my own amusement.
“I do require one thing, though, before I put forth a true and honest proposal.”
“What’s that?” I waited, nearly holding my breath.
“A kiss. Please kiss me, Mary.”
Chapter Eleven
I would never be able to object to an entreaty like that, and, as I considered the ramifications of such an action, I’d begun to sway towards him, eyeing his mouth, which looked soft and inviting.
“I take that as a yes,” he murmured huskily, his hands holding my face, while he neared.
I’d closed my eyes, feeling the touch of his lips. He parted his mouth slightly, and I did the same. Things escalated, especially once I snaked my arms around his neck. I stunned myself by the small, yet audible moan that escaped me, but I had never experienced anything more pleasurable in my life, and I could not contain my delight in the matter. I was going to be his wife after all, and it would hopefully only be a few days before we were joined.
His lips were near my ear, his breath ragged. “I think I got the answer I was looking for.”
“Yes.”
I grasped his face, feeling the rough quality of his beard. Then I kissed him, being the aggressor, even having the audacity to suck at his lower lip, grazing it with my teeth. Fingers drove through my hair, holding me in place while we explored each other’s mouths, delving into secret places and mingling our breaths, which had begun to sound raspy and winded. He smelled freshly of soap, with hints of whiskey that had lingered on his tongue.
The sound of a door closing roused us from the languid stupor we had succumbed to. As he pulled away, his hand was on my knee. I glanced over my shoulder, but I saw no one. Without another thought, I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to continue to be close to him. His hair was slightly damp from the bath.
He grasped me, clutching me to him. “I think that’s enough of an answer.”
“Answer to what?” I asked somewhat breathlessly.
“You desire me.”
“My word…”
“But you do. Would you deny it?”
“No, sir.” I met his gaze, while my belly flipped over. Realizing that I clung to him, I moved away, but he refused to release the grip he had on me.
“I realize we don’t know each other all that well, and I wish I could change that, but I’d prefer to marry you at the earliest possible convenience.”
“I know of your worries, but…can’t you just humor your sister when she arrives? We mustn’t rush into anything as important as marriage. What if you discover in a month or two that you don’t like me as much as you thought? I must warn you that I hog the bed. Any o
ne of my sisters will tell you that.”
He smiled. “I doubt I could find fault with you in that manner. I know no union is perfect. There will be disagreements and irritations, but that is with anything in life.”
“You would stay in the Colorado Territory? What about your work? I thought you were traveling to California?”
“I do have to finish the line to Denver City, but, after that, I can choose my projects. What if I decide to open a mine here or a business? I’ve enough capital to do it.”
“You sound far too good to be true. There must be a catch somewhere.” I’d said what I had been thinking—without thinking—again.
He withdrew his arms from around me. “You’re right.” He sighed. “Perhaps, I shouldn’t rush this.”
“I’m not afraid of your sister.”
“You should be.”
“Why?”
“Firstly, she’s rather harsh on employees. She has an abrupt and grating manner, which I can only tolerate for short periods of time. She’s bossy and pigheaded and—”
“I think I understand.”
“If we were married before her arrival, it would ensure our united front. There would be nothing that she could say or do to affect us.”
“Words can still be hurtful.”
“Yes, but…I can tell her to jump off a cliff. I can tell her to mind her own business.”
“Why can’t you do that now?”
“Because she thinks me in need of a wife. She wants to throw her damnable friends at me. It’s why I left Virginia when I did. I couldn’t stomach it a moment longer.”
“Then we’ll just endure the best we can, and you shall remain firm in your convictions. You shouldn’t let anyone dictate your life, sir.” Would he be angry that I had spoken in such a way?
His look was pained, yet humor lingered. “I had hoped for an easy way out. I hate conflict. I’d rather everyone get along.”
“I’m that way too, but what can we do? There will always be irritating people. Given enough time, you’ll find some of them in my family as well.”
“Your family was delightful. They were at ease and at peace with each other. I remember gatherings where things would deteriorate into shouting matches and fisticuffs.”