Irreparably Broken

by K J Bell

  She is stunning. Her long golden hair glistens in the sunlight. She wears very little makeup and doesn’t need it. Her T-shirt fits tight, forming to the curves of her breasts. Her legs are toned and tanned naturally. It’s not just her appearance that does it for me, though. It’s her thoughtfulness, and her willingness to understand me that toy with my emotions. This is why I’ve been staying at Jesse’s, to avoid her. I don’t trust myself in the same house.

  When she opens the door, she sees the tissue, and a wide smile appears. Picking it up, she reads it and turns away. When she looks back at me, a solitary tear rolls down her cheek. Just when I think I’ve pushed too far and I need to apologize, she swallows hard and speaks. “Thank you. That means a lot, Brady.”

  I heave a sigh of relief. When I’d written the words You know me better than anyone, I thought it might upset her, but I needed her to know that no one gets to me the way she does. “You’re welcome, Sunshine.” I smile and absorb the buildup of emotions that consumes me every time I’m near her.

  She tries to look irritated, but instead she looks cute. “Are you really going to keep calling me that?”

  “Yep, I am. It’s cute. Besides, it fits. You bring a little sunshine to my life.”

  Oh, man, I slap myself on the inside. Those were some warm mushy words that just left my lips, but they made her blush, so it’s worth it.

  ***

  When we arrive at the Center, Paco is the first to see us. “Tori!” he screams, and rushes over to hug her, kicking up dust along the way. Before she’s barely touched her feet to the pavement, Paco wraps his skinny arms around her.

  Tori hugs him back, lifting him off his feet, and then sets him down. “Hey, Paco. How are you, kiddo?”

  Paco peers up at her, his big brown eyes bright. He’s smiling and biting his tongue, the middle of which is pushed through the gap in his front teeth. “I’m great. I scored two goals in my game yesterday. I was the man, Tori.”

  Squatting down so she’s eye level with Paco, she holds her hand up and high-fives him. “You are the man, Paco. I wish I could have been here to see it. I bet you were awesome.”

  Her praise makes him smile exuberantly. It makes me smile, too.

  He folds his hands in front of him, twisting his body left, then right, at the waist shyly. She pats him on the head, and I notice the little booger blushing.

  I kneel down beside them. “Man, what am I, invisible now?”

  Paco laughs and then jumps on me, knocking me over. When the two of us sit up, Tori is standing there, watching us with a soft-hearted smile. I tickle Paco. He laughs and I laugh with him, our combined laughter echoing through the parking lot.

  Paco laughs so hard through the tickling that he’s chanting “stop.” When I do, he smiles and bumps his shoulder into me. “That’s what you get for bringing a pretty girl around.”

  Still sitting, I brush dirt from my jeans. “All it takes is a pretty face, and you forget about me?”

  “I can never forget about you, Brady.” Paco wraps me in a hug. God, I love this kid.

  Tori bends over and taps Paco on the shoulder. “Hey, buddy, we have some boxes that we need some help carrying. You think you’re up for the job?”

  Paco leaps up, a proud smile stretching his adorable face. He holds his arms up as though he is showing off his muscles. “You see these guns, Tori? I am up for the job.”

  I laugh as she leans over, giving his “guns” a squeeze. “Yes, I can see you’re up for the task.”

  I stand, and pull the boxes out of the truck. I give one to Paco and carry the other two boxes myself.

  Once we’re inside, Rodrigo greets us. He gives Tori a friendly hug. “What did you bring this time, Brady? You’ll spoil these kids.”

  I set the boxes on the floor. Paco drops the box he’s holding and runs back outside. “Not me this time. This is all Tori.”

  She smiles sweetly. “It’s nothing. Just some toys my parents had in storage. They weren’t doing any good boxed up in the dark, so I thought I’d bring them here where they could be appreciated.”

  “They’re definitely appreciated here,” Rodrigo tells her. “Thanks, Tori.”

  “Tori!” Camilia dashes up and jumps in Tori’s arms. Tori catches her, and they both giggle, squeezing each other. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

  Tori sets Camilia down. “I’m so glad to be back, cutie.”

  Camilia leaps into my arms next, hugging me and telling me she missed me, too.

  Chapter 18

  Tori

  His eyes are so bright here, lit up with happiness. Why do they look different back home? I stuff my thoughts aside, deciding to enjoy the happiness this place brings both of us.

  Camilia looks up at me, her thick black lashes brushing against her eyebrows. “I brought some toys, Camilia. Would you like to see them?”

  She nods, looking beyond excited. “Sí, por favor.”

  Camilia and I sit down on the floor next to the boxes and start going through them. She digs right in, pulling out various toys and trying them out. She skips over the box of board games, telling me the older kids will like them.

  Brady and Rodrigo talk quietly in a side room. Their voices are low, and Brady keeps glancing at me. He waves when he sees me watching him, and I smile back. I’m curious if they’re speaking quietly so I won’t hear them. I assume it’s probably so Camilia doesn’t. Camilia has pulled nearly every toy from the boxes, so I start putting them back in, other than the few she seems attached to.

  As I look back over to Brady, he hands Rodrigo an envelope. The open side of the envelope faces me, and though it’s hard to tell from this distance, it looks like a large stack of money. Rodrigo smiles appreciatively and shakes Brady’s hand. Why would Brady be giving Rodrigo so much cash, and how does he have so much to give? I shake my head and assume I’m mistaken about what I saw.

  “I love this,” I hear Camilia squeal. When I turn to her, she’s hugging a teddy bear she pulled out of one of the boxes.

  I smile at her. “I thought you might. I brought that just for you. It was mine when I was a little girl, and I want you to have it now.”

  A single tear falls down her cheek, and she jumps into my lap and rests her head on my chest. She pets the teddy bear lovingly. I hug her tight and softly stroke her hair, trying not to cry for this sweet little angel before me who has already been through more than any child should ever have to.

  Brady joins me and Camilla on the floor.

  “Brady, look what Tori gave me.”

  He runs his fingers through her hair once, smiling at me. “That was very nice of Tori, wasn’t it?”

  Camilia nods and I embrace her closely.

  Paco charges in from the back door, shouting something about Brady and me joining him for a soccer game.

  Brady nods teasingly at me. “What do you say? Are you up for it?”

  “You do know I have two left feet, right?” I say.

  “Come on, it will be fun. You can be on my team.” He stands and helps me up. I guess I’ve just agreed.

  Joining in with the kids for soccer is a gentle reminder that I’m not remotely athletic and that Brady is truly blessed in this department. Each time I land unceremoniously on my butt, Brady’s there with a quirky grin to help me up.

  When the score is tied, I somehow end up with a penalty kick, and if I make it, we’ll win the game.

  I look pleadingly to Brady for help. “Why don’t you kick it?”

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “Nope. It’s all you, Sunshine.”

  Camilia nudges me towards the ball. Her little-girl voice encourages me. “You can do it, Tori. Just kick it at Paco. He misses everything.”

  When I look at the kids blocking the goal, I realize Paco is my only option. I kick the ball toward him as hard as I can, and nearly fall on my ass again. Paco starts to dive and then turns as the ball sails by him. That little twerp missed on purpose, and he winks at me to confirm it.

  Bra
dy laughs and then folds me in congratulatory hug. I whisper in his ear that Paco cheated, so it doesn’t count. He laughs. As he pulls away, his eyes stay on mine and we stare at each other with something abundantly more than friendship brewing between us. My heartbeat kicks up a notch, anticipating the taste of his lips.

  “Are you two gonna kiss?”

  I hear Paco giggling next to me. I look down to wide brown eyes and a smile full of teeth.

  Brady and I let go of each other quickly. I pinch Paco’s chin and give it a shake. “No, we’re not going to kiss, you little cheater.”

  Paco’s cheeks fill with color, but he laughs. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty face.” His expression falls slightly, and he looks confused. “But why weren’t you two gonna kiss?”

  I smile down at him. “Because Brady and I are just friends, silly.”

  Paco looks up and rolls his eyes. “If you say so.”

  I roll my eyes back at him and rub his head before he runs off, giggling.

  Brady rubs his chin between his fingers. “That kid’s got it bad.”

  I laugh. He’s not the only one.

  Brady and I hang out at the Center for a few more hours, playing with the kids. As I watch Brady, I realize I have zero romantic interests in Harrison. I care about him as a person, but my feelings don’t extend beyond friendship. Harrison is a sweet guy and will make some girl a wonderful boyfriend. Just not this girl, because this girl is falling hard for Brady Hunter. Now this girl just needs to make Brady Hunter fall for her back. Great, now this girl is thinking about herself in third person.

  Brady interrupts my mental rambling. “Do you want to stay up here tonight? There’s a great place between here and Ensenada to eat, and they have rooms. You can have your own room, of course.”

  There’s no chance we’re staying in separate rooms if I agree. Maybe if I can get Brady alone, he’ll finally open up to me. I’m suddenly thrilled I brought a bag and a change of clothes with us. “I’d like that, but I don’t need my own room. You can sleep on the floor.” Feeling bold, I wink at him.

  He eyes me suspiciously. “You’re trouble, Sunshine. You know that?”

  Thinking he has no idea, I turn and walk to the truck without saying another word. Brady’s feet crunch on the ground behind me as he follows.

  Brady

  We drive for over an hour before I spot the hint of a building buried behind overgrown bougainvillea bushes and pull into the parking lot. It’s hard to believe there’s a restaurant here, let alone hotel rooms. Rodrigo brought me here a while back for beers, and I’ve wanted to come back since then.

  We enter through the restaurant, and the back wall is open to the ocean. It’s too dark to see the water, but you can still make out that the building is built on top of a cliff. I walk to the front desk, and Tori follows me. When I speak to the desk clerk in Spanish, Tori looks at me as though she’s surprised at how fluently I speak the language.

  I smile at her slyly. Holding up my index finger in a number one, I mouth “one room.” She bites her lip, smiling, and nods. She’s blushing, and I’m having inappropriate thoughts about her naked. One room is begging for trouble, but I go through with the request. Trouble and I go way back.

  We go into the restaurant and sit in a booth next to the window overlooking the ocean. Tori’s face lights up when she sees the view. Even though it’s dark, the moon casts a dim light over the water. A waiter comes over to the table and asks what we’d like to order. After telling me what she’ll have, I order for us in Spanish.

  When the waiter leaves, Tori takes her napkin and places it in her lap. “When did you get so good at speaking Spanish?”

  “Had to, I guess. I’m studying law, remember? If I’m going to practice in Southern California, mastering Spanish is a must.”

  She nods her understanding, and we continue talking. I open up to her about school and my internship that I’d been looking forward to – until my world was shattered by lies and mistakes. I don’t mention the ugliness of why I turned it down, simply telling her that it fell through. I tell her about my decision to take a semester off from school. I avoid discussing Vanessa or my parents, which are the two subjects I’m sure she would prefer me to open up about.

  She excuses herself to go to the restroom, and I watch her walk away. The shorts she’s wearing wrap perfectly around her ass. One room is definitely a mistake. I’m envisioning her naked again, with my fingers curled around her hips. Spending all this time with her is not helping to dispel my feelings. This friend thing I agreed to is getting increasingly difficult, because the more time I spend with her, the more I want to have her. The lines have definitely been blurred, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

  I keep denying my feelings because if I love her, I can’t lie to her. I’ll have to tell her all my secrets – the things that have led me to give up on life, too many lies, too much hurt. Secrets that, if they should come out, would destroy Tug and Liv, turn their lives upside down. It’s a “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” situation. A battle of love for my siblings versus love for her. It is love I feel. I’m positive, because the thought of not being with her is unbearable.

  Despite my denial, I suddenly want to take the risk. Having her won’t be easy on my family, but she consumes me: every thought, and every fantasy. If I don’t try, I’m not worthy of her love. My parents’ lies have hurt me. She may even hurt me. The difference is, she’s worth the suffering and pain if it means she’s mine.

  Chapter 19

  Tori

  Once I finish my girly business, I look at my face in the mirror. “Okay, Sunshine. You chose Brady, now make it happen.”

  The girl looking back at me seems confident. I can do this.

  I slide in the booth opposite Brady. He’s deep in thought, staring out the window. “Whatcha thinking about over there?” I ask him softly.

  He brings his eyes around to me, soft, green, and warped with conflict. “Tori, the more time I spend with you, the harder I find it to keep myself from wanting you.” A moment of vulnerability flashes across his face.

  Getting him to admit he wants me is easier than I thought it would be. I stand and slide into the booth next to Brady. “Then why keep yourself from me?” I whisper in his ear, and then pull back to see his reaction.

  He huffs and chews on his lip for a moment. “Tori, shit, I told you tha…”

  Placing my index finger over his lips, I bite my own lip, feeling how warm his are. “Shh…I know you think I don’t really know you.”

  He starts to talk with my finger still on his lips. I let it slip away and eagerly listen to what he has to say.

  “A lot has happened since I left. My life is complicated, as I’ve told you. The only way I can be with you is to be truthful with you. I just don’t know how to do that without hurting other people.”

  I place my forehead on his and softly rub our noses together. “You know, when my grandmother was alive she used to say to me, ‘Tori, always follow your heart, your mind will find a way to work the rest out when you need to.’ Brady, right now we don’t need to.”

  His eyebrows knit together, and he swallows hard. “I wish it were that simple, Sunshine.”

  “It can be,” I interrupt, and place my finger on his lips again. He kisses it. “You’ve been through some things. Hurtful things. Things that have changed you. I’m sure you’ll tell me when you’re ready. The truth is, Brady, I’ve wanted you for a long time, and it’s been torture pretending we’re just friends.”

  He draws my finger into his mouth and sucks on it. I nearly faint. He takes my hand and holds it in his lap, softly brushing his thumb across my knuckles. “It’s been torture for me, too. The night I kissed you in the rain was unbelievable. I can’t stop thinking about your mouth and how much I want to kiss you, and taste every inch of your soft skin.”

  Like always, I melt. I run my hand up his thigh and lean in close to him. “Why don’t we stop all this pretending, then?”r />
  I’ve decided what I want. The rest is up to him. I move my face in front of his again, and our lips barely touch. While our breath mixes together like a warm cloud between us, I wait anxiously for him to make his move.

  He waits a solid ten seconds and then draws in an erratic breath. His deep green eyes bore into mine, gleaming with passion. “Fuck,” he growls. His fingers slide gently along my jaw and he attaches his lips to mine, tracing circles around them with his tongue. Our eyes close, and our lips mold together, rapturous and needy. I want him. My panties grow wet as moisture releases from my sex, and I moan loudly.

  His hands travel under my tank top, up my back, warm hands pressing into my flesh. Bringing one hand to my front, he palms the bottom of my breast and pushes up. He growls into my mouth and slides his thumb across my nipple.

  The burn of embarrassment in my cheeks reminds me we’re in public, and I reluctantly pull away. “We should go to our room. Like, now, Brady.”

  It takes him only a split second to slide the two of us out of the booth. He tosses some cash on the table, paying for a dinner we won’t be eating. He laces his fingers through mine, and drags me out of the restaurant. We race through the courtyard hand in hand to our room.

  Brady slams me up against the outside door of our room and starts sucking on my earlobe, at the same time digging in his pocket for the room key. My fingertips push into his back, and I move them up and down roughly.

  “God, Brady, I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” I pant into his neck.

  Brady lets out a loud rumble as his hand firmly grips my throat, and he licks along my jaw. “You have no idea how hot it makes me knowing I’m going to be your first.”

  My body stiffens and tension fills me. Surely he knows Jake and I had sex. I place my hand on his chest, trying to cool things down a bit. He looks at me, and his gaze is sweltering. Okay, no chance of cooling anything with him. I swallow and decide to just put it out there. “Brady...you do know I was with Jake, right? I’m not a virgin.”