by Arizona Tape
"They really don't teach you anything in your little village, right?"
I shook my head and pouted. “No, I didn’t even know about the mating hierarchy.”
The brunette chuckled breathily in my ear. "Oh so much to learn still."
"Not my fault my village doesn't teach these things," I pouted, curling into a ball. If I hadn’t met the six of them, I wouldn't have even known shifting into a wolf was actually possible. Maybe it would've been better if my head wasn't filled with idle dreams of releasing my inner white wolf?
"We know it's not. Let's keep that for tomorrow, it's been a long day and you must be tired." Danny smiled, poking up the fire again.
Now she mentioned it, I felt the exhaustion weighing my body down. Sleep did sound alluring and if it meant being held by Ashleigh, I'd happily go to the tent. I rubbed my eyes as I nodded. "I'd like to sleep, please."
"I'll take you. Come on," Ashleigh whispered, helping me up from the cold ground. The warmth radiating from her body hugged me like a comforting blanket and despite everything, I felt safe. With them, with her.
Just before I crawled through the tent flap, I caught Aspen's eyes. A darkness flicked through them, but as quickly as it came, it left and returned his eyes to the deep amber hue I'd come to know. He smiled, the sadness dancing through the gold as he wished me a silent goodnight.
I repressed the whimpers from my wolf and followed Ashleigh inside, leaving the world behind me. Darkness was my new truth and I embraced the sleep whisking me off to other dimensions.
A WHISPER BROKE THROUGH a faint dream and I squinted into the night. "Hmm?"
"Akira?"
"Yes?" Someone was saying my name, but why?
"You're having a nightmare."
"I am?" My thoughts were buried underneath the fog of sleep and I couldn't figure out what I'd been dreaming about. Drowning? Chasing? Running? Yes, maybe that... Endless running, but from what?
"You were growling in your sleep."
I turned to the voice, the silver light of the moon only casting a shimmer through the tent on Ashleigh's face. The shadows dancing across her features made her look more beautiful than ever and from the purity of that thought, I knew Aspen wasn't close by.
With a satisfied murmur, I snuggled into her arms. The scent of wild strawberries pulled me closer to the woman and I wished I never had to leave.
"Want to talk about it?" Ashleigh asked, her voice as soft as her embrace. She really was one of those tender souls and I couldn't be more grateful that she was taking care of me. That hopefully, she'd be doing this for a long time.
"No." I shivered, hiding deeper into her chest. The immense sensation of safety was a little overwhelming and it wasn't until I met her, I realised just how on edge I was back home. Home? Could I still call it that? Had it ever been that?
"Want me to just hold you then?" The support shone through her voice and I wasn't sure what I did to deserve a mate like that. She was here for me and I'd been a useless heap of problems and troubles ever since I arrived. How was that fair to her? What did she do to deserve a mate like me?
"Yes, please," I whispered, sleep threatening to take over again. My eyes fell closed as I promised myself that from tomorrow, I'd try harder to be there for her. If Aspen could train his wolf to stay back, I could do the same to mine. I'd make her stay away from him until she was so head over heels with Ashleigh, she no longer remembered his name. Yes, that was what I needed to do.
With a last flicker of determination, the night fell back over me and I drifted into the dreams of running. Endless running.
Chapter 5. Alpha
The straps of my backpack dug into my shoulders as the last hill of the forest tried to keep us. With gritted teeth and foreheads cold from sweat, we managed to leave the Aladwin Woods behind. The open space stretching in front of us was awe-inspiring and it was only now I realised how happy I was to leave the darkness of the trees behind.
"Looks beautiful!" Chesca chirped, clapping her hands happily. She raced into the field and fell down in the golden grass. "So nice!"
"I'll kill her," Aspen growled behind me, so softly I didn't think he intended for anyone to hear. But I did. I just hoped it was his Alpha talking and not his own desires. The idea of him having such murderous thoughts scared me and I still wanted to pretend they weren't the homicidal circus they seemed to be.
"I have to admit, it's nice to be outside of the forest though." Danny sighed, her backpack falling from her shoulders. With a happy grin, she slumped down into the grass and used the lumpy sack as a pillow. "I could use a nap."
"Me too," Darren happily added, curling next to her. "Almost as nice as home."
"Where is home again?" I asked, studying the six of them. From the weariness on their faces and the gang of Coyotes following them around, it didn't look like they really ever settled. The thought of all them happy at a home was very foreign.
"A long way from here," Regan replied cryptically, stroking Danny's hair gently and smiling as she leant into him.
"Guys! Who wants to make a flower chain?" Chesca called, holding up handfuls of shredded daisies.
"Nobody!" Ashleigh and Aspen yelled, shutting the Puma up. The flowers flew out of her hands, gone in the wind. Wasted for no good reason besides to humour the young woman. She really brought out everyone’s bad side, but I still didn't know why. The group was notorious for not finishing their explanations, but one day, I'd get it out of them.
I studied Ashleigh, blinded by the blue flecks dancing in her eyes and some of the strain fell from my shoulders. Something about her presence just soothed me and on this highly stressful quest, I needed all of the soothing I could get.
“You alright?” She smiled, her fingers brushing so softly against my cheek, they were already a memory.
“Yes, just tired,” I admitted, staring at the vast green in front of us. “Where are we exactly?”
She turned to the tallest of the men. “Regan?”
He looked up and conjured a dusty map from his pocket. “Looks just two days away from Synsabad.”
“Synsabad?” I racked my brain, searching for any knowledge of this city. “The rumoured Golden City?”
“Exactly,” Darren replied, holding up his ladle. “Got this bad boy from a tiny stall in the upper west side.”
“Are we passing through it?” The amount of silver coins in my purse was ridiculously small, but it would buy me a couple of dried sausages and some old bread that would last me for a good two weeks.
“We are.” Regan carefully folded the map and hid it in his inner pocket. “Let’s move.”
“But this grass is so nice and soft!” Chesca interjected, rolling through the golden stalks without a care in the world.
“You don’t get a say,” Aspen sneered, his muscles tense under his shirt. Barely held back by Regan, he glared at the young woman with a hatred that scared me more than I wanted to admit. The fire burning in his eyes was cold, menacing. And with every word, every breath, Chesca seemed to awaken his Alpha and release his wrath upon us.
Scared, I hid behind the softness of Ashleigh, the scent of strawberries shielding me from his rage. The warmth of the beautiful woman hugged me and I felt the worries settle. She managed to contain Aspen for all of his life, I was sure she could do it again.
“Stay calm, Aspen,” Danny tried. What a surprise. Why was she standing up for Chesca?
“You don’t know what she’s done,” he growled.
“I know it better than anyone else,” she bit back, quickly shutting up as he glared at her.
Power raged through his eyes, the rawness wafting off of him. I could smell it, sense it, feel it in every bone of my body. The Alpha was calling.
“Aspen.” His name rolled from my tongue before I could stop myself. Ashleigh tensed in front of me and I couldn’t blame her. My tone was needy, pathetic, revering. I hated it.
“Walk it off,” Ashleigh snapped, her words sharp as a blade. Anyone would’ve
cowered under the sting of her tongue, the power in her voice, but not Aspen. A flicker of amusement flashed through his eyes and it only seemed to have challenged him.
“Make me.” His low breathy chuckle tempted me to sneak a peek past Ashleigh’s shoulder. My glance met his and his burning eyes captivated me. He licked his lips, wetting them before he whispered another command. “Come here, Akira.” The darkness curled through his voice and I shrunk into an even smaller version of me. I didn’t want him to see me, I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want him.
“No.” My fingers dug hard into Ashleigh’s skin. If I grabbed her hard enough, tight enough, maybe I could stay.
“That’s enough, Aspen. Leave her be.”
“Out of my way, Lee-Lee.” Any affection he held for his sister was long gone out of his voice. The devious grin tempted me, lured me to him. My body was drawn to him in a way I couldn’t understand or explain. The primal urge, that hunger, that need for him to touch me overwhelmed my senses and left me blank. If the scent of strawberries hadn’t tickled my senses, I’d have fallen into him, for him, with him.
“Ashleigh,” I whimpered, begging for something I couldn’t name. I wanted her to stop me, to contain my traitorous wolf from the desperation inside. A pathetic weakness he fueled with every breath he took, every word he whispered, every wisp of his wolf.
“Stop it, that’s enough.” The woman feathered her shoulders and the muscles rippled across her back. Waves of hard work and years of practice drew hard lines into her skin and I pressed my cheek against it, hiding in the safety of experience. She’d dealt with him for her whole life, she could do it again. I hoped.
“Step aside.” His eyes shot daggers at the raven-haired beauty protecting me. With flickers of sunlight dancing in his irises, he was magnificent and yet, I wanted to vomit. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t the same Aspen I met in the very beginning. His wolf was calm, gentle, funny. But nothing about this seething man was any of that, not anymore. The cold hate was seeping through his skin, leaking from his pores to taint anything and everything around him.
I didn’t want to be afraid, not of him. And yet, I was. The terror shrieked through my veins, paralysed my limbs, stole my breath. The panic surging through me left me helpless, motionless, defenseless. I wanted him to stop, for him to go back to his normal self, for him to be the Aspen I adored, but I didn’t know how to do that. I barely knew how to stop shaking and quivering as I hid behind Ashleigh, the only comfort her sweet scent and warmth.
“Please, stop,” I whimpered, my tears staining Ashleigh’s shirt. His possessiveness curled itself around me like wisps of smoke, threatening to suffocate me in a merciless blaze.
“That’s enough. Snap out it!” Ashleigh slapped both his cheeks in a swift move, the sound whipping across the open field so loud it even stopped Chesca’s giggle.
For a moment, Aspen’s eyes blanked out. The enraged Alpha crashed against my chest and coerced me to my knees. Desperate to answer his call, my wolf slammed herself against the invisible walls of her confinement and howled in pain. A cold sizzle shot through my veins, curling my blood, setting fire to my senses. An ancient vibration shook me to my core and the amulet burned hot into the my skin.
“That’s it, Akira. Come here,” Aspen chuckled darkly, ignoring his sister entirely as he lured out the primal force in me. She fought against the constraints, the locket shaking in response to the age-old cry, the repressed howl of a trapped wolf. The darkness came before the pain, oblivion my new reality. My bones tore through my skin, ripping apart any tissue or muscle. The blood painted rivulets on my skin, a memory of agony.
A vague cry echoed through my head, intensifying the pounding and I wondered if it was me or Ashleigh filling the air with despair and pain. Who knew. It didn’t matter who it was, I just wanted it to stop. The words I formed in my head never made it out of my mouth. Growls and whimpers stole their place and I knew it was coming. She was coming.
Chapter 6. Lily
White. just white. Only white.
My body protested with every breath I took, every fleeting thought that passed through my blanked out mind, every painfully ragged muscle I moved. What was going on? Where was I? Why wouldn’t the white go away.
The sharp light blinded me, the sting burning my eyeballs like hellfire rampaging through a dry forest. Whatever was happening, I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to go back, back to a more peaceful time. Back home.
The first flickers of the world returned and the darkness lifted. Blurred figures appeared in front of me with colours and shapes I had never seen before. Fabric. Grass. Knees?
Wow, I was crazier than I thought. Why would there be knees in my face? And yet... With legs attached to them and feet at the bottom, they were definitely knees. But how...
“Are you okay?”
I looked up to find the owner of the voice, a memory of something else... Someone else. Lily?
“No, it’s Ashleigh.”
Ashleigh... Who was Ashleigh? Why was she talking to me?
Lily.
Why couldn’t I speak?
“No Lily, just me. Look at me. Hey, hey, it’s okay.”
I stared up in a pair of piercing blue eyes and an unexpected flutter danced through my chest. Who was this beautiful woman and why was she looking at me like that? With compassion and kindness, with patience and adoration. She looked familiar and yet, I didn’t recognise her at all.
“Akira, you’re safe.”
Akira? Was that her name? No, she wouldn’t say her own name like that... Was it my name? But why didn’t I remember my own name, why didn’t I know this woman while she clearly knew me?
All the questions spun my head in dizzy circles and the frustration of not knowing anything settled in. I growled, surprising myself with how loud it sounded, and forced my weary limbs to work. The grass shrieked under my feet as I ran away from the blue-eyed woman and the other figures next to her. Whoever they were, whatever they were, I didn’t know them and I didn’t want to stay.
The promise of darkness lured me back into the forest and I recognised the patterns of the trees. The moss was different, more abundant, but I knew this place. The little paths wound through the bushes and tree stumps, to a spot I knew better than anyone else. Home.
My paws dug into the earth, the wet soil flying up as I raced through the nettles and bur. The furry legs and paws coming out from underneath me left nothing to the imagination. The white fur brought memories back from a different time and I put myself back into motion. I knew exactly where I was going. I was almost there, I could smell it. The sweet scent of rosebuds, the bitter tang of birch, the familiar scent of wild strawberries. Home. Where Lily was waiting for me.
The entrance to the cave was overgrown with nettles and ivy, the wilderness of the Aladwin Forest trying to swallow any trace of life. I broke through the green barrier and my paws clacked onto the stone floor. Home.
“Lily?” I thought, looking around for the beautiful black wolf that I called my mate.
“I found you,” a soft voice replied in my head. From the bushes, a dark figure emerged and blue eyes pierced into mine. A low growl vibrated through the cave and my lips curled up in a grin. Mate.
The slightly bigger wolf muzzled her head into my neck and a pleased rumble emitted from her chest. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, now that you’re here.”
She nipped softly at one of my paws, adoration shimmering in her eyes. Playfully, I nudged her shoulder and jumped around the beautiful black wolf. She always did love to play. A soft growl and a loving nip later, I curled into the warm body of my mate. Black on white, dark against light. We were a beautiful mismatched pair that belonged together mind, body, and soul. My Lily.
A heaviness fell over me and sleep tugged on my eyelids. Reluctant to give up the sight of my mate, I fought against the slumber settling into my bones. I didn’t want to sleep, not yet. I could stay awake, just a little bit longer. One more second, one
more...
The fog fuzzed out any other thoughts and my eyes fell shut, the memories of Lily hugging me tight. Home.
Chapter 7. Memories
“Akira?” A soft voice shook me out of a very vivid dream.
“Mmm?” I turned to the voice, my shoulder wincing in protest. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, the sighting of a cave making itself clear. The cold from the stone floor sept into my bones and I was feeling the strain. Why was I here?
“You okay?” A soft hand touched my back and I jumped. I already forgot I wasn’t alone.
“Ashleigh?” I stared at the beautiful woman in front of me, confused to why we were in a cave together.
“I see you’re no longer calling me Lily.”
“Lily?” I tilted my head, my eyebrows furrowed. “Why would I call you Lily?”
Her blue eyes bore into mine. “You kept calling me Lily, but that’s okay. I think you were just a little shaken up from your first shift.”
“My first what?” The shock sent a sting through my shoulder and I patted my arm, examining the tender spot at the side. What had I been up to? Shifting? No, impossible. If I’d turned into a wolf, surely I’d remember that. But then, how did I get here, why was Ashleigh looking at me like... that. With deep, dark eyes brimming with an emotion I couldn’t place, but that brought a sense of nostalgia to the surface. Had something happened? Did I do something wrong?
“You don’t remember?” The crack in her otherwise smooth voice was barely audible, but I picked up on it. The hurt, the disappointment, the hope wasn’t something easily missed.
“I....” I racked my brain, hoping to jog it into motion, to recall the lost memories. I didn’t want to forget important stuff, but there was a fog guarding the past events. I just needed to get past the heavy smoke, just past the wall of clouds. “They’re right there... Give me a moment, I can almost recall them.”
Ashleigh shot me a look of disbelief, her soft features growing hard. “I should’ve figured.” A sadness fell over her face, the light leaving her eyes. She ran a hand through her hair, the exhaustion clear in her every move. “Never mind.”