In the midst of our quiet dinner, a contrast to some dizzying days and choices to be made, we watched the diner’s owner, Peg, march in with a scowl. Funny how the rest of the staff seemed to scatter at her presence, like water receded after a penny thrown into a pond. After heading to the register and collecting the day’s receipts, Peg left with a bulging vinyl money bag and a lift in her step that made her appear taller than usual.
Gage pointed at Jer’s half-eaten dinner with the tines of his fork. “Aren’t you going to finish your chicken toes?”
Jer shook his head, then showed off a yawn that forced his eyes closed. Thank you, Lord, for the relaxing properties in warm milk! His eyes fluttered a few times before he pulled his little legs up and laid his head on my lap, burrowing into the flounce of my cotton blouse until sleepiness overtook him. My hand fell across his rump.
Is he out? Callie mouthed the words, her forehead arched.
I nodded.
“Good.” She kept her voice at a whisper. “Tell us about your meeting with, um, his father.”
I hauled in a breath and filled them in, how Len showed up unannounced, this time with a bouquet of flowers that wouldn’t kill me, and about his parole officer’s call, and our long lunch over quesadillas, spicy salsa, and a tureen of guacamole.
Gage watched me, listening.
Callie quirked her head to one side. “Where’s he staying now?”
“Over at the Drift’s Motel, outside of town. He says he’s got a line on some work with a construction crew remodeling that old hotel next to where he’s staying.” I darted a glance at Gage. “Don’t worry. I checked.”
He sat back, his arms still crossed. “Checked how?”
“I drove through and asked a guy with a hard hat if they were hiring. He basically said, bring ’em on.”
Gage look pained. “I don’t know about this, Suz. He’s not really planning on settling here, I hope.”
I shrugged. “We didn’t talk about that. I didn’t . . . I didn’t want to give him any wrong impressions or encourage him in any way.” I stroked my fingers through Jer’s blond hair. Several of the tendrils lay moist against his precious head. “The thing is, he badly wants to spend some time with Jer, and it appears that he has changed—he said faith has given him a new purpose in life and that is to be a better father. Anyway, I promised him I would call him just as soon as my little guy here and I had some time to talk.”
Callie studied Jer. “Looks like that won’t be happening tonight. Poor tired guy. He must sense all this going on.”
“You think?”
“Kids are smart. They know when something’s up.” She cupped her face in her hands, leaning on the table. “If it helps any, I think you’re doing the right thing.”
“What? How can you say that?” Gage frowned at Callie and she shrunk back. Then he angled his gaze to me. “And what about Seth? I had hoped you two might have rekindled something yesterday. What does he say about this?”
A knot formed in my throat. I shushed him and looked around, hoping none of Holly’s friends or coworkers heard that. “Did you have to ask? He and I may have a history, but maybe that’s the problem. We always start out well, but his bitterness gets to me and I snap.”
“You snap?” Callie asked, her cheeks still reddened by Gage’s outburst. “I can’t picture it.”
“Maybe snap isn’t exactly the right word.” My laugh had an acerbic bite to it. “I’ve never known anyone who could make my mood swing from one end of the spectrum to the other so easily and quickly. I had hoped we could be friends again, but . . .” I shrugged. “You might as well accept that the idea is far, far off now.”
Gage tossed his napkin onto his plate. “He’s a business owner now with a lot of guys on his payroll. That would make anyone intense.”
“Intense? Didn’t you hear me, Gage? He’s bitter. Over what, I’ve no idea.”
He shrugged and looked away. “I’d take bitter over someone like your ex any day.”
“Oh, really? Then you go ahead and take him—I’m not interested. And from what I saw and heard yesterday, neither is Holly.” I wagged my head, tightness in my shoulders. “Please don’t put me on the defensive when it comes to Len either. I’m well aware of how much he hurt us, but time brings perspective, and the man I had lunch with today . . . I don’t know what happened exactly to him, Gage, but he is different. That I know.”
“The guy’s a charmer.”
I dropped my head into my hands, moaning, the telltale sign of a tension headache pulsating up my neck.
Callie’s soothing voice reentered the conversation. “Maybe she should give him a chance to show how he’s changed, Gage. I’m not saying she should welcome him back into her life as anything more than Jeremiah’s father.” She addressed me. “You know I’m not saying that, right?”
I lifted my head. “Of course not.”
She reached out for my hand while taking Gage’s with her other. Classic camp director, helping campers hug and make up. “Through the camp experience, I have seen the Lord work in miraculous ways with people, and what could it hurt for her to allow him to prove that he, too, has been touched by God?”
He brought Callie’s hand to his mouth, kissing it. “I love you for your faithfulness, Callie. You know that. But . . . you’ve been burned before.”
I winced and glanced away, not wanting to see a head-on train wreck. My dear brother had just made reference to the way the two of them had met—over a fight to save vacant, seaside land in Otter Bay. He had been the architect and she, his nemesis. Only it turned out that she’d been deceived in more ways than one. Come to think of it, Gage had missed several signs on that one as well.
Had he recalled that? I waited for the crash but heard nothing. When I turned my eyes back to Callie and Gage, she was slipping out of the booth and taking a crestfallen expression with her.
He held out his arm to her, but she continued to walk away, slowly, without turning back. “Callie, wait.” He turned to me. “Now I’ve done it.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
I shouldn’t have bothered to expend even one breath in defense of either Seth or Len. I’d never seen Gage like this, and by her reaction, neither had Callie. It crippled me to think I might have anything to do with tearing these two lovebirds apart. Not an option!
I thought about this while puttering around the art studio. Letty swept while I dusted tools and racks of jars, our door project lying alone and forlorn at our workstation. Sometime around ten o’clock, Sherry arrived with a fresh batch of carrot muffins and a carafe of coffee.
“Fred asked me to hold a meeting with all you dear people,” she said, her apron stretched over wide hips.
Letty sat on a nearby stool. “How is our boss?”
“He’s doing wonderfully. Thank you for asking, Letty. He wanted me to tell you all that he will be here first thing in the morning to check on projects.” She fished around in her pocket and dug out several cards. “But I am here to tell you that I do not want my Freddie working too hard or too late, and I need you all to promise me that you will send him home early, whether he looks like he needs the break or not. My mobile phone number is on these cards. Please take one won’t you? And be sure to call me if he won’t listen to you.”
I pressed my lips together, stifling a laugh, and looked down at the plain concrete floor. If that just isn’t the cutest thing ever.
Letty, however, was all business. She took the cards and began passing them out to the few staff members that had shown up today. “You have our word, Sherry.”
“Goodness, thank you all very much. I hope you enjoy the muffins.” She turned to leave but stopped. “Oh, and Suzi-Q?”
I smiled at her use of Fred’s nickname for me.
“Freddie would love to talk to you more about working on the cabin. Do you think you might have time to stop by our home soon? Maybe even tonight?”
I hesitated. How would I fit a visit in between my talk with Jeremiah and his reunion with his
father?
“You could bring your little boy with you.”
Still smiling, I let out a breath. “Sure. I have an . . . appointment later today, so if you don’t mind, I’ll call you to confirm.”
“Thank you, deary. We will look forward to seeing you later.”
After Sherry left, Letty’s voice accused, but her eyes teased. “Oh, so you made an appointment, hoping our boss would not make it in today?”
“So not true.” I let out a loud sigh. “It’s just that something has come up and, well, if I happened to have some time off today, then I was going to use it to figure out my life.”
“Maybe I could help you ‘figure out your life.’” She tapped a nearby stool. “Sit down and talk to Dr. Letty.”
I smirked. “Oh, brother.”
“Is this about the ex-husband? You have been quiet today, and yesterday as well. Unusual.” She observed me, one finger tapping her chin.
I examined the ceiling. “I’ve been all over this with Callie and Gage and it’s a mess really. In a nutshell, Len’s staying nearby and wants to see Jeremiah, only I haven’t had a good chance to prepare him.”
“And what about you? The man has given you flowers two times. He is trying to win you back, Suz.”
My eyes flashed, realization dawning over me. A mental snapshot of Fred and Sherry’s log cabin appeared before me, close enough in my mind to touch. I saw Jer and me in the picture—and no one else. “I don’t want him back. I don’t want any man in my life, Letty.” I peeked at my friend. “Do you think I’m selfish?”
“Selfish? No. I think you are scared to make the same mistake twice. You have been hurt and it will take a wise man to woo you into his life.” She slid from the stool, picked up my purse, and handed it to me. “Go now, my friend, and enjoy your half day of rest. I think I will stop in at church and light a candle for you and say some prayers. Call me if you want to talk.”
I pulled my bag over one shoulder. “Thank you, Letty. I will.”
With each step closer to walking out of this building came the understanding that Jer and I needed to talk. At nearly five years old, the poor child had witnessed too much already. I pushed open the massive studio door and stepped into glowing rays of the overhanging sun, never having dreaded a day off quite this much.
“What’re you doing here, Mama?”
After checking in at the registration desk, I found Jeremiah in the play area, sifting sand through a plastic strainer shaped like a boat. I knelt beside him. “My boss said I could go home early today and I thought you might want to come with me.”
He dropped the sand toy and ran off, shouting behind him. “Okay, I’ll get my shoes.”
I watched as he pulled rumpled socks onto sandy feet, and then yanked on his sneakers. The Velcro straps were so clogged with sand and dirt that they barely held his shoes closed. You’re going to have to teach your son to tie laces, Suz.
He stood and took my hand. “There. I’m ready.”
I squeezed his hand in mine and we made our way to the front desk where I signed him out before heading to the parking lot for my car.
“I was thinking you could make me a grilled-cheese sandwich for lunch.”
“You were, huh?”
He swung my arm forward and back with the strength of a teenager. “Yeah. You haven’t cooked anything for a long time!”
I forced the sound of laughter from me, fighting a pout. Didn’t every kid in America want to eat out every day at every meal? Or was that a lie we had all been fed? Kind of like the one about “thinking good thoughts makes them happen” or worse, “zits disappear with adulthood.”
I opened the door to my car and watched him scramble to his booster seat. “That sounds great. I’ll make myself one too—with lots of butter.”
He latched it himself. “Yeah, with lots and lots of butter!”
His enthusiasm for my grilled cheese-making ability chased away my burgeoning pout. We made the short drive home, past the Kitteridge property that overlooked the bay, the one Callie’s camp had acquired. Construction had begun on the cabins Gage had designed for the new high school wing of the camp, as well as a gazebo overlooking the sea. Callie could hardly contain her thrill at knowing she and Gage would be married on that spot. I tucked away the memory of last night’s dinner fiasco, hoping Gage and Callie had taken the time to make up.
“What’cha thinkin’ about, Mama?”
I glanced in my rearview mirror to see Jer staring at me, his little mouth a straight line, the look in his eyes pensive. It’s true what they say: they grow up before you know it. “Adult stuff. Things that mommies worry about.”
“Like what?”
“Well . . . I was thinking about Uncle Gage and Aunt Callie and how they will be married soon.”
“Why you worried ’bout that?”
I shook my head. “Oh, I’m not. They will make a beautiful couple. It’s just that earlier today I was thinking about where you and I will live once they get married. I might have to work a little bit more to make enough money for us to move.” We pulled into the driveway; I put the car in park and looked over my shoulder. “How do you feel about that?”
He stared out the window, fingers in his mouth, his face bathed in afternoon shade and a touch of breeze tickling the top of his head. I watched him thinking, his eyes growing wide, until he pulled wet fingers from his mouth and splayed them on the partially rolled-up window.
“Daddy!”
Chapter Twenty-Three
My insides jolted and I shot a look out the window. Len! He approached Jeremiah’s window before I could reach for my door handle and leap out of the car.
“Jeremiah.” He reached his hand into the window so Jer could grab hold of it.
“What are you doing here?” I jogged up next to my ex-husband, my voice reaching Minnie Mouse level. “You were supposed to wait for my call!”
He twisted toward me. Some color had returned to his cheeks, and with wisps of white-blond hair blown from the breeze, there was no mistaking his relationship to Jeremiah. “I only wanted to make it easier for you, Suz.”
Jeremiah squealed from inside the car. “Open the door!”
I ignored him but kept my voice as low and even as possible. “Easier for me? How? I told you I needed to talk to Jeremiah first. You should not have come here.”
His hand still stuck through the open window, Len looked from Jeremiah, who still clung to his fingers, then to me and back to our son. “I knew it would be tough on you, explaining how much I’d changed and all. Isn’t it better that we let the little guy see for himself?”
Hands folded together, I pressed them against my mouth, my breathing harsh. Gage is going to disown me.
“Mama!”
“I’m coming, honey.” I pushed myself between them until their hands separated.
Jeremiah scrambled from his booster seat, out the open door, and into his father’s arms. Len scooped up his son, giving him a bear hug and grinning wide. Shame washed over me. Why had I kept Jeremiah from this reunion?
Len continued to hold Jer in his arms, rotating side to side to side. “How ya doin’, buddy? You’ve grown. It’s so good to see you!”
Jeremiah’s little hands held Len’s cheeks, grizzled from a day without a razor. “You too. Mama and I were just going to have grilled cheese. You want some too?”
“Tell you what, Jer. Let’s save the sandwiches for later. Why don’t we show your father our beach instead? Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
No way would I invite Len into Gage’s house without him approving that first.
If Len noticed my quick save, he didn’t let on. He set Jeremiah on the ground, then pointed toward the west. “Is this the way?”
Jeremiah hopped with all the energy of a preschooler. “Yeah! Yeah!” He took Len’s hand and began dragging him down the street toward the water. “Come on. Maybe we’ll see some otters down there!”
I hit the lock button on my car key and scurried up nex
t to them, my heart and mind spinning. Jeremiah continued to skip and hop along, chattering with his father, as if no time at all had passed. Maybe I had been overthinking this. I’d planned to prepare Jeremiah for seeing his father for the first time in many months, but they’d fallen into step with each other from the get-go. Jeremiah swung his father’s arm back and forth like he’d done with mine. He talked nonstop and laughed easily as they made their way to our beloved beach.
I slowed my step, taking in their closeness, watching Len laugh while Jeremiah pointed at who-knew-what to the north. It occurred to me that the one I really wanted to prepare for this moment was me.
My cell buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and focused on the screen before answering. “Hi, Callie.”
“Hey, Suz. Were you able to cut out of work early today?”
I rubbed my lips together, watching from the landing as Jeremiah and his father descended the steps to the rocky beach. Halfway down, Len reached into his own pocket, glanced around, and answered his phone.
“Suz?
My mind snapped back to Callie. “Uh, yes. Yes, I did.”
“Great, then. Would you and Jeremiah like to come by and see Moondoggy? Or I could bring him by there, if you’d like.”
“Actually? If you could bring him here, I think that would be best.”
“Is everything okay?”
I nodded, not feeling it. “Sure, it’s just that we’ve only now arrived at the beach by our house, and I think it would be neat to play with Moondoggy here. If you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Be right there. By the steps?”
I told her yes and jogged down the steps two at a time, joining Jeremiah and Len. My son spun around and grabbed one of my legs, making it even harder to trudge through the sand. “You’re gonna knock me over, my love.”
He clung to my leg, his head hanging backward. “Just pretend you’re an octopus on the beach.”
“An octopus? In the sand?”
He giggled. “Yeah. Then you could just walk on one of your other legs!”
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