“May I come in?”
No wonder Letty had been so giddy and secretive on the phone—she must have told Seth I was here. I cracked a weak smile and he stepped in. He noticed Len standing behind me and faltered slightly, that grin of his shrinking until his mouth resembled a flat line, one brow lifting in question.
Len looped a lazy arm around my shoulder. “You didn’t tell me we were expecting company, Suz.”
“I–I didn’t know.” I tried to smile again, but my lips wouldn’t cooperate. The change in Seth’s eyes, from bright to brooding, told me he’d interpreted my discomfort as guilt. “It’s good to see you, Seth.”
Len reached to shake his hand. “Yeah, man. Good to see you. What can we do you for?” His wisecrack roiled my insides.
Seth glanced at me, his face guarded. Or was he hurt? “You’ve chosen him. Again.”
“Seth, don’t.” My hands, rolled into fists, bore the brunt of my fingernails cutting into my palms. His accusation surprised me. It took me becoming engaged to Len for Seth to speak up last time, for him to try to change my mind. Today he seemed groomed to fight.
I slid a look at Len standing next to me, smirking. One word and my ex-husband’s scheme would be foiled. Yet I couldn’t risk it. I would never jeopardize my son’s well-being. Not for anything. Nor could I risk Seth’s.
“You don’t deny it, then.” Seth’s eyes dulled considerably from when he first arrived.
“I . . .”
Len cinched me closer. “If you haven’t noticed, she and the kid and I are tight, like the Three Musketeers. You trying to break up a family?”
A million emotions traversed Seth’s face, but I would not provide the answers he sought. I couldn’t. “We were just, uh, going to have some tea. Would you like to join us?”
I hated the expression that took over Seth’s face, like he stared at a madwoman. “Tea? Really, Suz? I shouldn’t be here. You’ve made that obvious.” He shook his head. “Games then, games now, huh? What were you going to do? Keep playing us both until you finally made up your mind about which guy to toss away like one of your old paintbrushes?”
“No.”
Len twiddled with a strand of my hair. “She’s not interested, pal. Not then, not ever.”
“Wouldn’t matter if you were, Suz.” Seth’s mouth twisted. “I’m taking myself out of the game.” He whirled around, shoved the screen door open, and left me there to watch him stalk off, rigid, angry.
This time, Seth would never come back.
I crossed my arms and did some spinning of my own. No time to nurse a broken heart, not with Jeremiah’s whereabouts foremost on my heart and mind. “What are you planning, Len? To keep me captive here? Will you be adding kidnapping to your list of crimes, then?”
He guffawed and pinched my cheek. “Funny girl. You make me laugh.” He flopped onto the couch like a college student after an exam. “You don’t scare me, you know. You’ve got all the toughness of a candy bar.”
I dropped my arms, my fists still clenched, and headed for the front door. Len flew off the couch and landed in front of me. He yanked the screen door shut, slamming it hard against the old wooden door frame. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Just wanted some fresh air.”
“Right. And I’m about to get the award for Otter Bay citizen of the year.”
I swallowed back the fear that attempted to rise in my throat like bile. “I’m not going anywhere, Len.”
“That’s right. You’re not. Oh, wait. You’ll be taking me to the studio tonight. Guess you will be getting out . . . after dark.”
“Where is Jeremiah?”
He smiled that sickly smile again. “Having ice cream with a beautiful woman.”
And there it was. This wasn’t about Len’s desire for his child, but a way to hurt me. Despite his past with drugs and crime, I knew Len cared for our son. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. Hurt me? Yes. Jeremiah? Never. A whirl of cool air slipped around me like a flimsy cloak and I shivered for the second time today. What if I helped Len commit a crime . . . and then he stole Jer from me anyway?
I made a move toward the kitchen, hoping to shield him from my fears.
“Going somewhere?”
“Tea. I want a cup of tea.”
“Just don’t eye that back door or anything.”
I stepped into the kitchen and robotically filled a kettle with water and set it over a lit stove burner. No matter how much I rubbed my palms together, they refused to warm up. Len hovered near the doorway, silently, but I did my best to ignore him. Or at least appear to ignore him.
With shaking hands, I put a bag of chai into my cup and poured scalding water over it, watching it float and steep into darkness. A swirl of cinnamon, cloves, and ginger reached my nose and I breathed it in, hoping to be enlightened. Maybe, just maybe . . .
If Len understood that his actions today would have grave consequences, he would back off and do the right thing for a change.
Stop trying to fix a broken life.
But if Len thought this through, wouldn’t that make all the difference?
He has not learned his lesson yet.
But maybe this is his old life trying to overtake his new life in Christ . . .
You are not God.
Was this my fault? Had I wanted so badly for Len’s soul to be fixed that I ignored the signs that little had changed? Had I done that in our marriage too?
Be still. Wait patiently.
I sipped the tea without cream, letting it warm my insides. My maternal instinct wanted to grab a sharp object from a kitchen drawer and plunge it into Len’s side, but as I lowered myself into a chair and sipped the warm tea, I brushed aside the thought. Instead I let my gaze drift out through the kitchen window where the jungle gym waited for Jeremiah to give it a workout.
God, please, please, please show me what to do. I prayed and waited for answers to come.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Len had ripped the phone from the wall, tossed my cell phone out the window, and ignored my attempts to reason with him. Time passed moment by excruciating moment. More than once he spoke quietly into his phone, but no matter how hard I strained to hear his conversation, it didn’t work.
I turned to unpacking Jer’s things, lining up his little shoes by the closet in the bedroom. I refolded his play clothes and tucked them into a dresser drawer, as if nothing was amiss. And I laid out the cars he had packed into the suitcase himself, the way he did at home.
I also obsessed on the moment when I’d have no choice but to unlock the studio door and let my ex-husband abscond with the treasures so lovingly being restored. Letty’s crestfallen face and Frank’s weak heart fought for places in my consciousness. Would they ever forgive me? Could I ever forgive myself?
Surely they would understand what my mother’s heart must do.
I lifted Jeremiah’s suitcase and began zipping up all the pockets when something dropped and bounced across the wood floors. I felt around for the object and stopped it with my fingers. A smooth marble—the same one I had taken away from Jeremiah weeks ago, convinced he was still too young to play with jacks.
Had he taken it from my drawer and packed it away in his suitcase? When it disappeared from my nightstand drawer, I’d asked him about it.
“No, Mama. I didn’t take it.”
My young son had lied to me.
Like father, like son.
With my thumb, I pushed the marble around on my fingers. God told his disciples to have faith like a mustard seed, but what was the converse of that? Might this tiny toy represent a pinch of trouble in my son’s young life instead of faith? And might this speck of trouble grow into a mountain someday? My hand fisted around it, and I shoved it into my back pocket before heading for the living room.
“I’ll take you to the studio on one condition, Len.” I tried not to let my eyes search for the gun.
From his prone position on the couch, his arms crossed at his chest like he’d been d
ozing, Len scowled at me. “Good luck.”
“I won’t show you where the key’s hidden unless you bring Jeremiah to me first.”
He spat out a laugh. “Right.”
Len saw all that art as his ticket to freedom. Having a son to care for couldn’t possibly be in his plans, and yet for me, my son’s life, the shaping and molding of it, was my future. I drew in a jagged breath. “Take it or leave it.”
He stared me down, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure. The kid’ll be there.”
I watched him, wary, yet with no choice but to believe him. I only hoped that if he didn’t follow through with my request, I would have the sharpness of mind to know what to do before allowing him to take off with whatever he wanted.
Len appeared neither bewildered nor thrown by my sudden boldness. He settled back into a sleeping position on the couch and shut his eyes—as if my presence, and my demands, meant nothing.
My eyes flickered on an almost-imperceptible change in light. A shadow had passed in front of the living room window. I glanced at Len on the couch, but he hadn’t noticed. A second shadow passed by, followed by the slightest crackle of gravel and the faintest creak of the back porch steps.
Had Len’s accomplice shown up?
I approached him and he stirred. “Not thinking of leaving again?”
I forced a roll of my eyes, as if his question felt natural. “Please. Just getting myself more tea.”
He closed his eyes again. “Whatever.”
Carefully, I stepped over the threshold and through the narrow doorway into the kitchen, and what I saw waiting for me, watching me from behind the glass, made me want to burst into tears.
Seth.
He watched me through the window, Gage only inches behind him. I gasped, then threw my hands over my mouth and shook my head. It took all of me not to throw open the doors and let the cavalry in.
But what would happen to Jeremiah if I did? And could they overpower Len before he overpowered them?
A voice called out from the living room. “I don’t hear any tea pouring.”
Seth motioned for me to stay quiet. He held my seething brother back with a steady hand. Any sense of bravery had left me and I stood rooted to lackluster linoleum, unable to move. Just breathe . . .
A pound on the front door caused my neck to jerk.
“Man! Don’t your friends ever call first?” Len swore, and a thud on the living room floor told me he dragged himself off of the couch. “Get out here and answer your door.”
Seth pointed at the knob of the back door and mouthed, Open it.
I couldn’t take my eyes from him but called out to Len. “I burned my hand. Could you . . . would you grab the door for me? Probably just a salesperson or something.”
He swore again and I heard him unlock the latch. The door swung open hard and Len shouted.
The urgency in Seth’s eyes implored me again. A deep voice and the blare of a siren tore me from my stupor and I sprung forward, opened the back door, and allowed Seth to tackle me in the tiny kitchen of the log cabin on the hill.
He had done it again. Len had lied to me.
Gage held me at arm’s length, his eyes unwavering. “Suz, you have to see that Len gets put away for a very long time.”
My eyes popped open wide, like I had consumed a week’s worth of caffeine with a pound of chocolate thrown in for good measure. I couldn’t settle myself. “Jer . . . he’s really okay? You’re sure?”
“Don’t worry. He’s with Callie. She won’t let anything happen to him. You know that, right?”
I nodded. “He said his girlfriend had taken him somewhere . . .” My voice sounded foreign to me.
Gage groaned and pulled me to him. “She tried, but the preschool wouldn’t buy her story—that Len had sent her to pick up Jer. When they couldn’t reach you and the woman became belligerent, they stalled her and called the police. And they also called Callie. She was there in a heartbeat.”
If only I hadn’t believed him . . . If only I had forced my way out of here . . .
“You had no way of knowing if what Len told you was true. I don’t blame you for being scared, Suz. The guy’s a monster, he—” Gage swallowed his tirade as another officer approached.
Earlier it had taken a simple nod of my head for the police to cuff my ex-husband and force him into the back of a squad car. Whatever strength I’d shown then, though, withered into all-out shakes. Every part of me shook as more and more questions bombarded me, but Gage stayed close during every painful moment.
Seth did too.
Only he paced during much of the questioning, stopping occasionally to gaze at me, his eyes a caress, before resuming his steady march. My bewildered mind faded in and out of the present as Seth hovered so near.
You have to be strong. You have to see that his punishment fits the crime.
Despite all that Len had done, it hurt knowing that Jer wouldn’t have his father in his life. Yet Len had come all this way, not to pursue his faith and his family, but to feed his greed. And he had done so willingly.
How ironic that Seth, too, had willingly moved across this big old country, but he did so for the adventure of it all. And when he hit bumps in the road? He manned up, faced his past, and set about making things right.
I had been looking for that kind of stability all my life.
My longing to see Len change would not bring it about. He might never find true salvation—although I vowed to pray otherwise, and in the end, it was up to God. Not me. Faith, I’d found, meant planting yourself where the roots needed the deepest watering.
I made up my mind. The officer searched my face, his pen poised over his notepad, and I gave him everything he needed to know.
After the officer left, I gazed up at Seth, his gray-green eyes rooted on me. He stopped pacing. I reached out to him. He covered my hand with his, slid onto the couch, and pulled me into his embrace. “If my pride hadn’t gotten in the way, I could have seen what was really going on in here.”
“Shhh.” I stroked his face. “How did you figure it all out?”
He gazed at me. “Holly.”
My mouth dropped open.
“I was too angry to go home, so I stopped in the diner, stewing. Sidled up to the counter and ordered a large coffee. Black.” He eyed our hands, intertwined with one another. “She asked about you. Said she’d seen you on the beach and offered you a sisterly hint about the two of us.”
I smiled at the recollection.
“But she kept talking.” He paused to look at me, a sad, lopsided smile on his face. “You know Holly. She told me that she’d seen Len watching you on the beach—and how it had given her the creeps.”
“She said that?”
“Well, she said seeing him gave her the shivers, and that she didn’t think she trusted him. It dawned on me then that maybe you hadn’t rejected me after all.”
“Oh.” My heart dropped a little.
“I’d already left the counter, intent on coming back up here to confront the guy, when Gage flew into the diner like a madman, shouting that you were in trouble.”
I gasped. I had not imagined the drama unfolding beyond the cabin’s doors.
Seth tilted his head. “He was on his way to you when he noticed my truck parked in the lot.”
A knot in my throat loosened, and I swallowed back tears.
Seth let go of my hand then and pulled me to him. “I’ve never run so fast in my entire life.” His voice, raw and passionate, grazed my ear. “I’ve loved you forever, Suz.”
I turned my face and peered at him, eyes glistening. “I know that now. I love you too.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I watched him through the window of the tiny log cabin where I now lived, his gloved hands smearing sweat and loamy dirt across his brow, a light mist falling onto his hair, his shoulders, his face. Every once in a while he’d stop, lean on his shovel, and send me a smile that fluttered my insides like butterfly wings.
Callie spoke i
nto my ear. “He still out there working?” She hugged my shoulders. “Somebody’s in love.”
Gage stood next to his bride-to-be, craning to peer out the window. “Tried to help him but he wouldn’t hear of it. Says it’s something he’s got to do on his own.” He kissed me on the top of my head. “Seth’s a good man.”
You are too. If not for my big brother, where would I have turned? When we needed help, Gage accepted us into his home, no questions asked. He promised to be a father figure to his nephew, and he never turned away from that vow. The thought pricked my heart a little. With his father back in jail—for a long time—Jer would need his uncle Gage now more than ever.
He’d need Seth too.
Fred and Sherry and Letty joined us from the other room, and I pushed away old thoughts and brightened. “Did you ever think this kitchen would be so full?”
A serene smile stretched across Fred’s face. “We had hoped to see it someday, Sherry and I. And prayed too.”
Sherry stroked his face and leaned her head on his shoulder. She no doubt thought about their daughter and the reunion that had yet to be. Still, she told me recently, they had reason to hope. “Shannon accepted my phone call, and we have begun the process of restoration.” She chortled. “No pun intended.”
Letty pushed her flashy self through the small group of us crowding around the window and wagged her head. “How long will that man of yours slosh around in that muck for you?” She gave me an exaggerated sigh along with a sly grin. “It is true what I have said before—you are impossible to dislike.”
I grinned back at her. “Again with the compliments, Leticia? What has gotten into you?”
“I will tell you what. This house and what you have done to it.” The smile on her face was as genuine as the ring on Callie’s finger. “When I walked into the living room I thought perhaps that I should go for a swim inside the tide. Vibrant and yet tastefully done. This is your calling, Suz. Those plain, white walls have come to life.” Letty winked at Fred. “No offense.”
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