Eli’s wedding is to be held on November 30th. It will be one of the first of the season. Ruthie is already fussing about it. But the main responsibility will fall with Jenny’s family. The wedding will be there, of course. Oh, I do so hope you can come. Daadi said that he’ll arrange transport for you, so no worries there.
Beth, tell me more about this Timothy Plank. You seem to mention him quite regularly. How I wish we could talk into the night like we used to do, sharing our secrets. Well, most of them, anyway.
The letter went on, but Beth stopped reading. Had she really spoken so frequently of Timothy? With a groan, she realized she had. Now, Mellie would think she was in love with him, and she wasn’t. Being in love would get in the way of her plans to teach for many years to come. She blanched and dropped her hands to her lap.
A Bible verse from the book of Proverbs flashed into her mind. A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.
Was she so busy devising her own plans that she was not allowing the Lord to direct her steps? Her stomach soured at the thought and she stood and walked to her front room window. She gazed outside onto the half-frozen land. The trees had shed their leaves, and the piles had been dutifully raked up by the Miller children. The tire swing hung empty, looking forlorn as it swayed ever so slightly in the wind.
Beth heard Andrew holler something from the barn and saw Josh go racing across the yard to meet him. Finishing up their chores, no doubt. Supper would be served in less than an hour, and Beth should be early to help put it on the table. She’d help red up the kitchen afterwards, too, something she now did regularly. At first Mrs. Miller wouldn’t hear of it, saying that Beth’s room and board didn’t include a passel of duties. But Beth didn’t feel right about doing nothing. It was plain unnatural to not pitch in and help when there was work to be done.
Beth held Mellie’s letter to her chest. Was she acting vain and proud, making her own plans for her life? Wasn’t that what fancy people did? She knew for a fact that the Englisch took great pride in planning out their lives. She shivered and reached for her light cape which hung on a peg by the door. She wrapped it around herself and went back to the rocker to finish reading Mellie’s letter.
It was preaching Sunday, and Beth was glad for it. She’d felt the need to hear a good sermon all week—ever since she’d experienced guilt over her own pride and vanity. So on that Sunday, she sat ramrod straight, her entire focus on Preacher Manny as he delivered his sermon. His was the first and shorter sermon. Beth’s focus was so keen that she didn’t notice Missy wiggle up beside her on the bench until Preacher Manny finished up. Before the Bishop rose to speak, Missy tugged on her sleeve. Beth looked down, surprised to find the young girl there. She certainly hadn’t been there in the beginning. She’d been with her grandmother, along with Frances and Benny.
Beth had forced herself not to look at the men’s section. She didn’t want to see Timothy as her sister’s words still burned through her mind. You seem to mention him quite frequently. But now, with Timothy’s daughter smiling up at her, she couldn’t help herself. She broke her gaze with Missy and glanced across the barn. It was easy to spot him. He was nearly a head taller than most men. For one horrifying moment, their eyes met and locked. Beth almost gasped out loud. Her face burned as she dropped her gaze to the floor. But he’d seen her look for him. How completely humiliating.
For a split second, Beth felt like bursting into tears. She was shocked at herself. The emotions churning through her were a mess. She was a mess. What was wrong with her? And then the tears did come, filling her eyes. She wiped at them as inconspicuously as possible. It wouldn’t do to have the schoolteacher weeping her way through the service. She blinked hard and forced herself back under control.
Missy leaned slightly toward her, the edges of her kapp brushing against Beth’s arm. An overwhelming surge of love for the girl filled Beth, nearly taking her breath away. Beth squared her shoulders and stared fixedly ahead. The second sermon was now underway, and it would be long. Too long, in fact. For it would give her mind entirely too much time to wander. Something Beth didn’t want. No, she didn’t want that, not even a little.
After the preaching was over, the women got busy with the food. The men rearranged the benches and pulled out the long tables, setting them up for the noon meal. There wasn’t enough room to serve everyone at once, so they would eat in shifts. Beth decided to be in the last group to eat, along with a lot of the other womenfolk.
Fact was, she wasn’t hungry. Her stomach was in turmoil, and she was maddeningly aware of Timothy Plank’s presence as he bustled about with the men, carrying tables and benches. The children ran around, some of them getting underfoot. A few words from their mothers, however, sorted them out quickly.
Beth busied herself with putting pickles into serving bowls on each table. Then she helped arrange the cold cuts and placed loaves of sliced bread at both ends of each table. Debra approached her as she worked.
“Hello, Beth,” she said, her voice exceedingly friendly.
“Hello, Debra.”
“Did Frances tell you that she’s got another loose tooth?”
Beth smiled. “That she did. I imagine she’ll be losing it any day.”
“Her dat teases her that he’s going to pull it.”
“Ach! He wouldn’t!” Beth put her hands on her hips in mock horror.
Debra chuckled. “Oh, but he would. His dat used to pull his loose teeth out, and our Timothy does the same.” Debra stopped laughing and her face grew serious. “How are you, Beth?”
Beth blinked in surprise. She had no idea why Debra had grown so solemn all of a sudden. “I’m fine, Debra. School is going right well.”
Debra waved her hand through the air. “Oh, I know that. I’m wondering about you.”
Beth was nonplussed. It wasn’t normal to have someone ask such a personal question, and she had no idea how to answer it. Finally, she said, “I’m fine. Truly.”
Debra nodded slowly. “Timothy was mentioning that it would be nice to have you over for supper again. He said the girls would enjoy it.”
Beth hadn’t been back to the Planks since that first week when school had started. Truth be known, she was surprised that she hadn’t been asked. Although, down deep, she was relieved. She was wary of spending too much time with the family, afraid that she would grow even more affectionate toward the girls. And their father.
“That’s nice,” she muttered, not knowing what else to say.
“Perhaps in late November?”
“Perhaps. But my brother is getting married, and I’m hoping to return home for the wedding.”
“Of course, you need to be there. I’m sure the Board will approve.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “You’ll come back, won’t you?”
Beth flinched. “What? Of course!” This conversation was becoming odder by the minute.
“You don’t have a young man waiting for you?”
Beth stood very still. Her mind flew back to Caleb and his warm smile.
Debra clucked her tongue. “Ach, what am I thinking? Asking such a private question. You’ll have to forgive an old woman.”
Beth didn’t respond—her mind was still fixed on Caleb. When she went back for Eli’s wedding, Caleb would surely be in attendance. She wondered what their meeting would be like. Oh, how she hoped it would be pleasant, and how she hoped she would see evidence of his affection for her sister, Mellie. Before leaving Hollybrook, Beth had practically promised Mellie that Caleb would love her very soon.
Beth chided herself. How had she been so naïve as to think that she could control or predict someone’s affection? Her eyes clouded over. There was no way she could have predicted her own affection toward Timothy Plank. Truth was, she would have adamantly denied any possibility of it whatsoever.
“Beth?”
Beth gave a start and gazed into Debra’s concerned face.
“You all right?”
“Jah. Jah, of cou
rse.” Beth gave an awkward chuckle.
“My Timothy seems quite fond of you,” Debra said, and Beth could see that she was trying to act nonchalant about it. But frankly, their conversation had raced past nonchalant from the first word.
“He’s a gut father,” Beth said, knowing such a comment was safe. And right then, she craved for safety and the end of this interchange. “Please excuse me, Debra. I think I should check in with Wilma to see if there is anything else I can do to help.”
“Supper then. In a few weeks. I’ll give the girls the details,” Debra called after her.
Beth walked quickly to the barn door, zooming right past Wilma and the girls. She burst out into the crisp air, breathing deeply. She liked Debra. She did. But she didn’t like being under such scrutiny. Why, even Mellie stopped before that level of badgering.
Or had it been badgering?
Perhaps she just took it that way because of her own feelings. She darted between rows of buggies and then leaned against one of the sturdy black conveyances. Debra was playing matchmaker, pure and simple. Beth knew of Amish matchmakers, though she had never met one personally. And she didn’t think Debra was a matchmaker in general. Just a matchmaker for her son.
Timothy. Even the mere thought of his name made her heart rate increase. She clenched her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. Did she love him? Was that what it was? Love?
She wanted to burst into tears. She couldn’t love him. She just couldn’t. She sniffed and squared her shoulders. This wouldn’t be a problem. She would simply do the same thing she’d done with Caleb. She’d spurn Timothy’s attention and make it clear that teaching was her purpose in life.
“Beth?”
Beth spun on her heel. “Timothy!” What was he doing out there?
“I was worried. I saw you talking to Mamm, and then you rushed out.” He took a step closer and his clear blue eyes were intense on hers. “Did she upset you?”
Beth swallowed hard. She wanted to be calm. She wanted to be aloof. But his eyes had grabbed her and drawn her in. She couldn’t have averted her gaze if she’d tried. Hardly aware of her own actions, she leaned toward him. His eyes searched her face now, resting on the gentle curve of her lips.
She felt beads of perspiration dot her upper lip, and she knew her cheeks had gone crimson. Now, she thought. Now was the time to be cool and disinterested. Now was the time to make it clear that she was unavailable.
“I was worried,” he repeated, his voice a caress. He didn’t touch her. He didn’t make any move to draw closer, but he was there. His presence filled her, surrounded her until she couldn’t breathe.
“I-I’m fine,” she stammered, her voice low and strained.
He tilted his head and a slow smile spread across his face. “I’m glad,” he whispered. “Mamm, well, sometimes … she can be a bit overbearing.”
Keep talking, she urged him silently. Talk about anything. I don’t care. Just keep talking so I don’t have to. All I need is a minute to regain my bearings. Just one minute.
Beth didn’t get that minute. He bent down slightly, narrowing the distance between them. “Would you go riding with me this Saturday? I’ll be waiting for you at Rounder Bridge. If you’re interested…”
She moistened her lips, working to stifle the yearning that flamed within her. It thundered through her, and she began to nod, to agree to be with him, to allow herself to feel him beside her, to listen to him, to laugh with him. And then she stiffened. Her resolve reared up within her, and she looked at him, her eyes going cold. “Nee. Thank you, but nee.”
His face went white, and he flinched as if she’d slapped him. He swallowed and backed away, but his disappointment, his sadness reached out and flooded her. But she wouldn’t be swallowed up in it. Swallowed up in him.
She turned on her heel and fled.
It was done.
Chapter Seven
Weddings were joyful celebrations, and Eli’s was no different.
When Beth arrived back home to Hollybrook in the van, Mellie and Faith nearly bowled her over with their greeting.
“You’re here!” Mellie cried, her voice full of emotion. “Ach, Beth, I’ve missed you so.”
“So did I,” Faith said. “All of us did.”
Her sister-in-law Ruthie stood on the top step of the porch, rubbing her hands dry on a dishtowel. “Beth, it’s right good to have you back. We’ve a lot to get done, so don’t expect any rest.”
Beth saw Mellie pinch her lips together. Her poor sisters, having to live with Ruthie. She’d been with her for only a short while before her departure to Meadow Lark, and that had been enough.
“The wedding is at Jenny’s parents place,” Faith said.
“I assumed as much,” remarked Beth. She paid the van driver and hoisted her bag up the steps.
“We’re helping with the wedding feast. Far as we can tell, we’re going to be feeding three hundred or so.”
Beth nodded. Eli would have invited the entire district, and she knew the majority of them would attend, especially since his wedding would be one of the first of the season.
“Jenny’s asked me to be one of her newehockers,” Mellie said. “I feel real honored.”
“So, she’ll be sitting up front. Beth, you can sit with me during the service,” Faith said.
Beth pulled Faith into a quick side hug. “Suits me fine.”
“We’ll be heading over there come six-thirty tomorrow morning,” Ruthie informed Beth. “Of course, I volunteered all of us to help with the preparations and such.”
“Of course.”
“How many days can you stay?” Mellie asked.
“I taught this morning,” Beth said. “And I’ll be here tomorrow all day, of course. I asked for Wednesday, too, and it was granted. But come Thursday, I’ll be back in the schoolhouse.”
Mellie frowned. “So soon.”
“But I’m here now, aren’t I?” Beth asked.
“The laundry needs taken from the line,” Ruthie said. “Why don’t you girls take care of that? I’ll work on supper.”
Ruthie wadded up the dishtowel and went back into the house. None of the sisters made a move toward the laundry line.
“How’s Mamm?” Beth asked.
“About the same. She’s resting, but she’s excited to see you. She and Daadi will be over for supper.”
Just then the family pony cart turned into the yard. Beth saw Eli driving it, and she gave him a wave. He waved back, stopped the cart, and flung the reins over the seat. He jumped out.
“Beth! You’re here!” he called.
Beth hurried over to him. “Happy wedding!” she said with a huge smile. “How are you?”
“Just finished making the rounds. I had to make sure everyone was invited personally.” His cheeks were flushed, and his expression was well-pleased.
“I’m looking forward to the service tomorrow. How’s Jenny?”
The flush on his cheeks deepened. “She’s right fine.”
“I’d better help Ruthie with the laundry, then. I’ll see you at supper.”
“That you will,” he said with a smile.
Beth turned away and walked back toward the house. It was hard to think of Eli as a married man. The next time she saw him, he’d have a beard.
Mellie met her close to the clothesline. “I need to get back out to the sweet shop,” she said. “I’d love to have your help out there, but I think you’d best do the laundry.”
Beth grinned. “I think you’re right.”
“If you have a minute, come on out. It hasn’t been overly busy, but busy enough.”
“You’re closing tomorrow, right?”
“Jah. Of course. I’m putting a notice in the window.” Mellie frowned. “Ach, I forgot something. Beth, can you watch the shop for a few minutes. I’ll tell Ruthie you’ll be right back, but I forgot to grab the loaf of nut bread I promised Mrs. Winger.”
“Of course. Take your time. I’m fine out there as long as Ruthie doesn’t
have my hide!” Beth laughed, glad once again that she didn’t have to live with the woman any longer.
Mellie headed back to the house, and Beth went on out to the small building at the edge of their property. Dat and Daadi had built the shop for Mellie years before, and Mellie had been bringing in a tidy profit for some time now. But more important, Mellie loved it. The girl was born to bake.
Beth pushed open the windowed door to the tinkle of a bell. She paused and breathed deeply. The sweet smell of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves filled the air. If she went real still, she could even smell the raisins and fruit pieces Mellie liked to sprinkle throughout her breads. Beth walked to the counter and saw one batch of cinnamon rolls left. She smiled. They were usually the first to go once Mellie opened in the morning. Truth was, Mellie’s rolls melted in your mouth.
Beth pondered opening the package and snitching one then she shook her head. Sure as anything, someone would come right in and want a full batch, and there wouldn’t be one left. Beth bent down and retrieved the cash box from its hiding place beneath the counter. The bell rang again, and Beth looked up, expecting Mellie.
But it wasn’t Mellie. Beth’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at the visitor.
“Caleb,” she murmured.
He stopped short. His face blanched, and then he smiled, albeit forced. “Uh, Beth. Home for the wedding?”
“Jah.” She looked at him. Looked at his kind eyes with their flecks of gold. He’d removed his straw hat, and she saw that his hair still stuck out a bit funny around his cowlick. She’d forgotten how tall he was. Timothy Plank was tall, too. But Caleb had him beat.
“How are you?” He hung back near the door, as if ready to flee at a moment’s notice.
“I’m well. And you?” she asked.
“Gut. And your teaching?”
She thought she detected a hint of resentment in his tone, but she decided she was wrong. His expression was guarded, but he was making an effort. She saw that clearly.
“I love it,” she answered simply. It was strange to be standing there, alone, with her former beau. She’d thought she would feel more for him. Certainly, she felt a bond, considering their past, but there was no energy to it. Mostly what she felt was sad. Sad that she’d broken his heart. Sad for the entire episode.
Amish Romance Box Set: Finding Home Page 12