“Never mind about Henri.” He eliminated the space between them and pulled her close. “I didn’t get to kiss you good morning.” He dipped his head and took firm possession of her mouth.
What was happening? Lilith was gone, which meant she and Rafe were… She lost her place as the warmth of his kiss drove out everything else. She clung to him—solid, loving, kind. Rafe.
He released her slowly and smiled. “That’s better.”
“Yeah.” She let out a breath. “The brownies are in the fridge. I’ll pour coffee if you’ll—”
“I’m on it. Want to sit on the porch?”
“Sure. The living room’s still jacked up.” And fresh air might clear her head and organize her jumbled thoughts.
“Jacked up in a good cause.” He opened the refrigerator door and took out the brownies. “I didn’t attempt to remake the beds.”
“That’s fine. I’ll handle it.” The coffeemaker shut off. “Coffee’s ready.”
He handed her the container of brownies. “I’ll get it. Go have a seat. You look stressed.”
“And here I thought I was projecting calm confidence.”
“Might work with people who don’t know you very well. Won’t fly with me. See you on the porch.”
She carried the brownies outside and took the far chair, the one he’d sat in Saturday morning when he’d wanted to revisit the idea of having an affair—while they were married.
He shouldered his way out the screen door holding both mugs of coffee, glanced at her and smiled. “You took my chair.”
“Felt like it.”
“Alrighty, then.” He handed over her coffee.
“Thanks.”
He settled into the other one. “How do you like the view from there?”
“It’s different. I never sit here. When Millie and I lived together, she liked this chair. It’s angled more toward the road so you can see who’s coming. Mine’s angled toward the trees.”
“Millie likes to be notified in advance.”
“So do you.”
“Yes, ma’am. Millie and I share that.”
“Jumping into this marriage with no notice must have torqued you something fierce.”
He sipped his coffee. “Hasn’t been the easiest thing, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.”
He hadn’t picked up a brownie. She glanced at the container. “Aren’t you going to have one?”
“This discussion of chair positions makes me think I’d better hold off until you say your piece. Don’t want to choke on a bite of brownie.”
“Fair enough.” She set down her coffee and scooted around in her chair. “Last night the Babes, mostly Ed, talked Aunt Lilith into setting up an educational foundation. Ginny’s the first recipient and now she has a full ride.”
“Wow. That’s terrific.” His gaze met hers. “Can Lilith reverse it?”
“I asked Henri the same thing. Ed set it up so that once the money goes out, there’s no getting it back.”
He went very quiet. Using great care, he set his coffee on the side table. “So you don’t need me anymore?”
Chapter Thirty-One
“That’s a terrible way to put it.” Kate’s brow furrowed. “Of course I—”
“It’s accurate, though.” He was supposed to have years to prepare for this. Years to try staving it off, somehow. But here it was, gut-punching him with a force that left him stunned and disoriented.
“I have a thought.”
Hope kindled a tiny flame. He cleared his throat. “What’s that?”
“We go ahead with the divorce, but…”
The flame went out. He looked away.
“We continue to see each other.”
He could be a smartass. Ask her what continue to see each other meant. Make her spell it out. Undoubtedly there would be rules and regs. He wouldn’t live here. He’d just drop by for sex now and then.
God, he was tempted. But he’d had a taste of how it could be. He wanted that. He wouldn’t settle. Not anymore.
“What do you think?”
He tugged off his ring and laid it gently on the table. “Sorry, Kate. That won’t work for me.” He stood, ducked inside and grabbed his hat and keys. A quick exit was best. He’d get out of there before he said or did something that would ruin their friendship. Again. They’d promised the gang that wouldn’t happen.
Two hellish days later, Rafe had only glimpsed Kate from a distance. A blessing and a curse. The Brotherhood had offered comfort in the form of hard cider and hard labor. He’d gone easy on the booze. He’d been down that road two months ago and it wasn’t the answer.
But he’d gladly accepted the job of mucking out the stalls every day. Nothing like it to power through bouts of anger and frustration. If he was still shoveling horse poop by Christmas, so what?
It was the perfect assignment for a shitty situation and he was grateful. Most cowboys found satisfaction in the task, so the Brotherhood was doing him a favor. In return he’d promised not to repeat the sulky behavior he’d indulged in last time he’d been crossways with Kate.
He’d kept that promise, delivering such a wagonload of good cheer the Brotherhood had warned him to tone it down or they’d punch him in his constantly smiling face. Sadly for them, he had only two settings these days. They wouldn’t want to see the alternate one, so they were stuck with his clenched-jaw grin.
If he could maintain it through tonight’s poker game, he was awarding himself an Oscar. Kate would be there.
Nick arrived early and asked Rafe to come outside and evaluate his truck’s aging fuel pump.
Rafe played along and followed him to the parking area. “You don’t have a fuel pump issue, do you?”
“Not anymore. Replaced it last week.” Nick leaned against the front fender. “Just need to know the lay of the land. Has she filed yet?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Is tonight your first face-to-face since Monday?”
“Yep.”
“I’m a little surprised she agreed to come.”
“I am, too. Then again, how else can we make sure this doesn’t blow a hole in the group like it did last time? She needs to feel free to play poker like she used to, and I need to be fine with that.”
“Are you?”
“I have to be.”
“But are you?”
He sighed. “What do you think? I love her. I want to spend the rest of my days with her. She doesn’t feel the same. That hurts like hell.”
“She’s into you, though. She wasn’t pretending to kiss you at the wedding. She meant it.”
“But she doesn’t trust me. Not enough to go all-in. I want that trust from her, bro. I need it.”
“Yeah, you do. I wouldn’t have understood it before, but now, with Eva, I—” The deep rumble of a Ford 350 signaled Jake’s truck was on the way. “He’s gonna play?”
“Yep. Bringing Millie, too. And Kate. They fetched her from the dining hall.” His gut tightened.
Nick glanced in the direction of the bobbing headlights on the bumpy road. “Makes sense that Millie came to give Kate support. Want to head inside?”
“No, I’ll stay out here to welcome her. It’s the classy thing to do.”
“Want me to go inside?”
“I could use some support, too.”
“You’ve got it.”
“You could open your hood, though, and act like we have a reason to be out here.”
“Sure thing. Got your phone?”
“Yeah.” He pulled it out while Nick propped open the hood of his vintage truck.
“Shine your flashlight on the innards. We’ll act like we’re checking the fuel pump.”
Rafe trained his phone flashlight under the hood. “Damn, it’s so clean under here.”
“A clean engine is a happy engine.”
“So where are Eva and her friends having their girls’ night?”
“Fiona’s apartment.”
“I don’t get Fiona. Why bid
so much on Leo and call it quits after one date? He’s a great guy.”
“Freaks her out that he’s so handsome.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t say anything. It’s not like he can ugly up and solve that problem.” He pushed away from the grill of the truck. “Douse your light. They’re here.” He lowered the hood with a clang.
The night was cool, but sweat ran down Rafe’s spine as he pasted on a smile and turned toward the incoming truck. Jake slowly backed in, putting the passenger side facing Rafe and Nick.
“I’ll get Millie.” Nick moved toward the front passenger door as Jake cut the engine. “Kate’s all yours.”
If only. Would she see him approaching and head out the other side? He reached for the back door at the same moment she opened it. He gulped. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Her smile looked fake, too.
He offered his hand and she put a container of brownies into it. He shifted them to his other hand, but by then she was down. “I’m glad you decided to come.” He handed her the brownies.
“Had to,” she murmured, holding the container with both hands. Her left ring finger was bare. “We can’t let things get weird.”
“Right.” She’d taken off her ring. Made his chest hurt, but why wouldn’t she? He had. Red had trusted in the energy of those stones. He’d wanted her to be right.
Kate glanced up at him, her expression achingly vulnerable. “It’s weird, anyway.”
The stones hadn’t worked if she was divorcing him. But at least she wasn’t divorcing the group. He dug deep for some reassuring words to help her through tonight. “No worries, Kate. You’ve got this.”
“And brownies.” She gave him a tiny smile, a real one this time. “Come on, Millie. Let’s show these boys how it’s done.” She started toward the bunkhouse.
Jake came around the truck. “Got a problem, Nick? Saw you and Rafe checking out your truck.”
“Just showing him the fuel pump I installed last week.”
“Uh-huh.” Jake waited until Kate and Millie were inside. “This is going to be weird, isn’t it?”
“Not if I can help it.” Rafe glanced at him. “How’s she doing?”
“Putting on a show, just like you.”
“This first time will be the worst,” Nick said. “It’ll get better.”
Jake nodded. “It will. An intimate little poker game tonight, chuck wagon stew out by the fire pit Friday night. Before you know it, we’ll be hanging out at the Moose, faking it there, too.”
Nick snorted.
“Fake it ’til you make it, right, bro?” Rafe smiled at Jake.
He shrugged. “Always worked for me.”
“It was good of Millie to come.”
“Never any doubt she would once Kate said she was doing it. Millie’s here to be the bridge over troubled waters.”
“That’s Millie for you,” Nick said. “Fighting to keep the old gang together.”
“We’ll have no troubled waters.” Rafe squared his shoulders. “I’ll make sure of it.” He started toward the bunkhouse. “Let’s play some poker.”
As he walked, he reached into his pocket for the smooth hematite Red had given him. Several times in the past two days he’d started to throw it into the woods. But Red had told him it aided soldiers wounded in battle. He’d hang onto it a little longer.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“And I win again!” Kate scooped the chips in with both hands and began sorting them. “Thank you all for your contributions.” How ironic that on a night when she didn’t give a damn about winning, she couldn’t lose.
“You’re welcome,” Jake said. “I’m sure Millie won’t mind if I don’t buy her the strings of pumpkin lights she wants for the front porch.”
“Don’t let him con you.” Millie gave Jake a nudge. “I bought those lights and they’ll be here this week. Jake’s ego has taken a bigger hit than his pocketbook.”
“Yeah, man up, dude.” Leo swept a hand over his meager supply of chips. “She’s almost cleaned me out, too.”
“Kate’s a savvy player,” Rafe said. “Underestimate her at your peril. I learned that the hard way.”
She glanced at him. Did his comment have a double meaning, a barbed comment on their jacked-up relationship? Instead his expression held nothing but kindness and admiration. “Thanks, Rafe.”
He touched two fingers to the brim of his hat and smiled. Several of the guys wore their hats when they played, claiming it brought them luck. The brim also allowed them to duck their heads to hide tells.
In Rafe’s case, he could be hiding other emotions. If so, he’d been subtle about it. His Stetson added a double dose of hotness and she was susceptible, especially when he added that two-finger salute.
His stack of chips wasn’t as big as hers, but close. He’d played carefully all night. His behavior was a one-eighty from the last time she’d faced him across the poker table. Angry and hurt, he’d favored reckless bidding and heavy drinking.
He’d gone easy on the alcohol tonight. Like old times, he’d traded jokes with his brothers and Millie. Not so much with her, but the sulky, resentful guy who’d driven her away from the group two months ago was nowhere to be seen.
The new Rafe glanced at her with a steady gaze and a sense of purpose. Clearly he wanted her to be comfortable here and relaxed in his presence. His top priority was her happiness and the happiness of the people around this table. Noble. Sexy.
Play continued until she and Rafe were the only two left. He’d won the last hand, which brought his winnings almost even with hers.
“I appoint myself the dealer.” Jake picked up the cards and began shuffling. “Call it, Rafe.”
He met her gaze across the table. “Five-card stud.”
Jake kept shuffling. “Wild cards?”
He leaned back in his chair. “Nope.”
“Classic choice, bro.”
While Jake continued to shuffle, building the suspense, Kate reached in her jeans pocket for her ring. Touching it comforted her and she hadn’t been able to stick it in a drawer. Not yet. Maybe the stones had brought her luck. She’d find out when she played poker without it. Maybe next week.
Jake pushed the deck over to her.
She cut the cards. “Good luck, Rafe.”
“You, too.”
“May the best-looking player win.” Jake dealt the first two cards face-down.
“Thanks a lot.” Rafe didn’t bother looking at his as he nudged back his hat and grinned. “You just jinxed me.”
It was the closest he’d come to flirting with her. Instead of checking her hole card, she glanced his way. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”
“I would.” Jake dealt her the jack of diamonds face-up. “You’re way prettier than this guy.” He tilted his head in Rafe’s direction and tossed him the king of hearts. “Picture cards all around. Bet ’em like you have ’em.”
She peeked at her hole card. The queen of hearts to go with the jack of diamonds. Nice start. Then Jake dealt her another queen. She bet conservatively, slow-playing her hand as she kept an eye on Rafe’s.
He got two more hearts to go with his king, but they weren’t sequential. Jake dealt her another jack. The gang had been making comments all along, but they went silent as they waited for the last two cards. If her fifth card was a jack or a queen, she’d have a full house.
The best Rafe could do was a flush, assuming he had a heart in the hole. If she didn’t get either of those cards and he had that heart, she’d lose. But she’d lose to Rafe, the man she loved. That would be okay. More than okay.
She got another queen, and Jake whistled. “Two pair. Possible full house, lady.”
She put on her poker face. “Who knows?”
Rafe got one more heart. Holding her gaze, he shoved his chips to the middle of the table. “All in.”
He’d just lost. Her heart squeezed. “Me, too.” She shoved her chips forward, mixing them in with his. Then she turned over her queen of hearts
.
He turned over his hole card, a club. “Congratulations.”
The warmth in his voice and the glow in his dark eyes stole her breath. He’d known he would lose. He could have folded, saved his chips, tried to come back from the loss. Instead he’d surrendered to her.
He pushed away from the table. “Time to pack it in. Get some sleep.”
“Yep.” Jake was already returning the chips to the holder. “Days are getting shorter. Have to cram more into ’em, now.”
Kate stood and picked up a bowl of nuts and another one of chips. “I’ll help with—”
“I’ve got those.” Leo took them. “Gather up your winnings, champ.”
“I already did that.” Rafe came around the table and handed her a cloth bag full of coins and bills. “I’ll walk you out.”
She blinked in surprise. “Um, sure. Thanks.”
“Millie and I will be out in a minute.” Jake put the cards in the box with the chips. “I need to check with Garrett to make sure we have everything for Friday night’s meal.”
“That’s fine.” She doubted Jake had to check on anything. More likely he was giving Rafe some time alone with her. She walked out of the kitchen. Rafe was by the door, holding her jacket.
Her stomach fluttered. Would that reaction ever go away? Turning her back to him, she slid her arms into the sleeves. He settled the jacket onto her shoulders, his touch light.
She turned. “Thank you. You don’t have to—”
“I think I do.” He gestured toward the door.
She stepped into the brisk night air and shivered, but not because she was cold. The prospect of a few moments alone with Rafe jacked up her heart rate. He was so… Rafe.
He hadn’t bothered with a coat. Walking beside her out to Jake’s truck, he took a deep breath. “Feels nice out here.”
“The pines smell good.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She headed for the back door of the cab and faced him. “You were great tonight. I didn’t know what to expect, but you were… amazing.”
“So were you.” He slipped his hands into his pockets. “To be honest, I didn’t know if I could do this, but it turns out I can.”
Strong-Willed Cowboy (The Buckskin Brotherhood Book 5) Page 18