‘If you wish to escort Miss Dean home, Snelgrove,’ Lord Lensborough said, ‘I will lead Nero back to the stables. She should not have to walk back alone.’
It was a dismissal, and though Snelgrove might have resented his lordship’s tone, there was nothing he could do but dismount from his borrowed horse, and surrender the reins. Taking Emily by the arm, he bowed to the entire company, and, casting Hester one last triumphant look, set off across the fields.
‘Time to leave, madam.’
Hester ignored Lord Lensborough’s peremptory command. Dashing a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand, she knelt in the grass and enveloped Lena in a fierce hug. Lord Lensborough turned away abruptly, muttering under his breath.
‘Will you be coming back soon, Lady Hetty?’ the child asked, twisting out of her embrace. ‘I do like them biscuits.’
Over the top of her head, Hester caught Jye’s attention. ‘If I can…’ she cast her eyes meaningfully towards her cousins as Mr Farrar led them away ‘…of course I will.’
Jye nodded once in acknowledgment of her unspoken message.
‘I’ll take good care of her for you, Lady Hetty,’ he promised gruffly.
‘I know.’ She got to her feet, brushing dried bracken and wood ash from her skirt. ‘You always have. And you will send me word, won’t you, if ever you’re in trouble?’
Jye nodded, swinging Lena up on to his broad shoulders, while Hester turned hastily away. She could no longer check the tears that began to roll silently down her cheeks, and, not wanting Lena to see them, she swiftly made for the track that would lead her home, pushing blindly past Lord Lensborough, who stood almost directly in her path.
She had not got far into the copse before she felt a hand tap her roughly on her shoulder.
‘Here,’ he said curtly, ‘take this handkerchief and blow your nose.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied mechanically, taking it. ‘You are very angry with me again, aren’t you?’
‘Are you surprised?’
‘Yes.’ She blew her nose. ‘Uncle Thomas warned me what to expect, but I had begun to think that you—’
The ferocity with which he uttered a few choice expletives set Hester back to the moment they had first met. This was the real Lord Lensborough: black hearted and black tempered. She had only imagined he was kind and decent.
A feeling of dread washed over her. Might he be so outraged by her impropriety that he would change his mind about marrying one of her cousins? Might they be tainted in his eyes by their very association with her?
‘You won’t suspend your courtship of my cousins because of this, will you? Neither they, nor my aunt, knew anything about my visits to the tan.’
‘Am I to infer from that remark that your uncle did?’
When she nodded, he said, ‘By God, this beggars belief.’
Hester reeled. ‘How can you be so intolerant?’
‘Intolerant? Who could tolerate being so deceived?’
‘We did not set out to deceive you…particularly. My uncle just did not want anyone to know. Especially not my cousins, or my aunt. He said it would distress them.’
Lord Lensborough made an odd choking noise.
‘So you see, they are entirely innocent. You do believe me, don’t you?’
‘Oh, yes. Unlike you, your cousins are exactly what they appear to be. A blank slate upon which I may write whatever I wish.’
Hester saw red. ‘How just like you to say such a horrid thing. Julia and Phoebe are people with feelings, not blank slates for you to write on.’ She clenched her fists. ‘And for your information, I don’t care how improper you think it is for me to mingle with the raff and scaff of society. I love Lena, and I will never be ashamed of her. If that offends your notion of propriety, then I’m glad. Why would I want an unfeeling, heartless block like you to approve of me?’
He flinched, as though she had struck him. ‘We should not keep the horses standing in the cold,’ he said, and turned down the track.
He was aware of Hester thrashing through the undergrowth behind him, but he couldn’t bear to turn and look at her, not even when he heard a tell-tale sniffle.
How could her uncle permit her access to a lover while she lived under his roof? Or introduce her to his guests as if she were respectable? Did he not care so long as she kept her activities secret from the more innocent females in the family?
All that talk of shyness. He had known from the first it was all humbug. It was guilt that made her awkward around single men. She knew she could never marry a decent man, or encourage one to hope. That was why Sir Thomas had warned him off.
But then why, if he did not want all this to come out, did he not keep her out of sight altogether?
His pace picked up as his mind whirled. The family probably did not have the means to pack her off to some estate deep in the country and forget her. And if her uncle tried to separate her from his other womenfolk, within his house, they would start to ask awkward questions.
So why did she not simply live with her gypsy lover?
That sort of scandal was bound to get out, and his own daughters would be ruined by association.
On the whole, Sir Thomas had followed the only course he could. Ejected the bastard child, and sworn Hester to secrecy to protect the good name of his own daughters.
Though he could never like Lionel Snelgrove, he supposed he had to be grateful that he had forced Hester’s secret into the open. It had saved him from committing the ghastly blunder of proposing to a woman who had given birth to a bastard sired by a filthy gypsy. He didn’t think he would ever have been able to live that down.
Chapter Nine
‘Uncle Thomas, I’ve ruined everything.’ Hester stumbled into the workroom where her uncle was pottering amongst his collection of snuff jars.
‘I very much doubt that, my dear,’ he said, smiling at her. ‘But you are at liberty to confess exactly what mischief you have been up to.’
‘I went to see Lena today. I know you asked me not to, but Julia and Phoebe had gone out riding with Lord Lensborough and his friend, so I thought it would be quite safe. I never thought they would ride in that direction.’
‘Ah.’ Sir Thomas carefully replaced the lid of the jar he’d been inspecting.
‘Of course they saw me. And it was just as you said it would be. Lord Lensborough was really, really angry with me. And just when I was beginning to think he was…’
Shakily, Hester sank on to the chair beside her uncle’s desk.
‘Because you had convinced him of the worth of one sort of charity, he would be sympathetic to other causes?’ He shook his head. ‘Setting up a trust to honour his brother’s memory is a far cry from thinking it acceptable for a well-bred girl to mix freely with vagrants.’
‘Yes, and then Julia said it could not be wrong for her to be there since you permitted me. Of course, if she thinks that, then Lord Lensborough will never marry her.’
She got to her feet and laughed a little hysterically. ‘All I have achieved by persisting in my visits is to dash my cousins’ hopes of a good match.’
‘Hester, do try to calm yourself. We do not know that there will be any repercussions.’
‘But Lord Lensborough said such horrid things, and I lost my temper and called him names.’
To Hester’s surprise, her uncle chuckled. ‘Did you though? I should have liked to have seen that.’
‘No, Uncle, it was dreadful of me.’
‘I hope it may do him good to be called a few names. There are a few names I have been tempted—no, no, let that pass. Did he give you any reason—now think carefully, my dear—any reason at all to justify your wild fears that your deeds have given him an adverse opinion of my girls?’
‘No. No, he referred to them as a clean slate.’
‘There, you see. It might all blow over. Although, to be frank, I must confess I don’t really care if the match with Lord Lensborough goes ahead or not. I just want my girls to be happy. I
f he is as harsh as you seem to think, then perhaps he is not the man for them.’ He turned, frowning. ‘Hester, would you do something for me? I know that I have forbidden you to speak to anyone of Lena’s true identity. I foolishly hoped we could keep her very existence a secret. But perhaps it might be for the best if Lord Lensborough knew the whole.’
‘Everything?’
‘Yes. If you tell him how ill you were at the time, how seeing your brother’s baby brought the spark back to your eyes…’ his own eyes softened with tenderness ‘…perhaps then he may condone my granting you limited access to your niece, illegitimate though she is. If you tell him I hadn’t the heart to ban all contact from all you seemed to have left of your brother—’
‘It wasn’t like that,’ she flared. ‘I wanted to right the wrong he’d done. I had thought my brother was a good person, but he used that woman, then abandoned her and the child!’
Sir Thomas held up his hands in a placating gesture. ‘He didn’t really abandon Lena, though, did he? He died before he even knew of her existence, I dare say.’
‘That doesn’t make it any less dreadful.’
‘No, no.’ He sighed. ‘What a mess that young scamp left behind.’ He shook his head ruefully. ‘I know it will be painful for you to speak of it, but…’
‘Of course I will tell him, if that is what you want. I would never forgive myself if some action of mine caused any of you grief.’ Hester hung her head. ‘Do you think it would have been better if I had stayed away from Lena altogether?’
‘Who can say? I did what I thought was for the best for all concerned. For you, for Lena herself, for my own girls too, of course. If any harm has been done today, it is my responsibility.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘Though I could never have foreseen a man like Lord Lensborough stumbling upon your family secret.’
‘No.’ Her eyes filled with tears. She could never have foreseen just how much impact the marquis would have on her life either.
* * *
The atmosphere around the dining table that evening was so oppressive that even Stephen was unable to lift the gloom. Lord Lensborough was in a foul temper, which he took no trouble to conceal. Julia drew his wrath down on her head by making a series of unwise observations, while Phoebe was too nervous to speak at all. Hester was unaware that she was unwittingly fuelling his anger by keeping her head bowed meekly over her plate when he particularly wanted her to feel the full force of his displeasure that she was there at all. Even Lady Gregory, who was not usually sensitive to atmospheres, was relieved when the ladies could withdraw at last.
‘What,’ she asked, ‘has happened to put him in such a fearful temper tonight?’
Julia and Phoebe exchanged glances, and shrugged their shoulders. They’d agreed it would be better all round not to mention their visit to a gypsy camp since it appeared inexplicably to have upset everyone so much.
The only person who seemed his usual self was Sir Thomas. He ate a hearty meal, impervious to the shudders and sighs of his womenfolk, and when they’d left and the covers had been withdrawn, he raised his first glass of port to his lips with a smile.
‘Had an interesting day, have you, my lord? I hear you went out riding with my girls over to The Lady’s Acres.’
Lord Lensborough’s eyes narrowed as Sir Thomas passed the port his way, but he did not rise to the bait.
‘Hester told me you were not very pleased when you found her visiting her friends.’
‘Naturally I disapproved,’ he snapped.
‘Really, my lord?’ He raised his eyebrows in exaggerated astonishment. ‘She was chaperoned by Miss Dean, as she always is when engaged on her charitable work. She has been regularly visiting those folk for the past six years without once coming to any harm. Is there some fact I may have overlooked, perhaps? As the local magistrate, it has become my habit not to form a judgement until I have all the facts clearly presented to me.’
Lord Lensborough’s fingers clenched about the stem of his wine glass. This man’s barely veiled rebuke was the outside of enough. As he fixed his host with a cold stare that usually had the effect of wilting any opposition, Sir Thomas calmly reached for the nutcrackers.
‘Are you quite sure your subsequent treatment of my niece was justified?’ he challenged. ‘Had you enough facts at your fingertips to warrant giving her such a scolding that she came home to me in tears?’
Stephen winced as the walnut that Sir Thomas held in his hand shattered, sending pieces of shell skittering across the table top.
Of course he was justified. He was still honour bound to marry one of this man’s daughters, which meant that he would have to acknowledge their wanton cousin as a relation of his own. Sir Thomas expected a great deal if he hoped he would brush aside an indiscretion he had concealed from the world for six years.
Six years. Lord Lensborough took a gulp of port. Six years ago, Hester would have been about fourteen years old. So young. She could have been scarce thirteen when that child was conceived. Which meant she would have been too young to understand what she was doing. Or—a cold lump seemed to form in his chest—what was being done to her. Could Sir Thomas’s leniency stem from the fact he was shielding her from the results of a crime committed against her?
Oh, God. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a fraction of a second. Poor Hester. No wonder she was so skittish around men. Although—he regarded his host’s untroubled countenance through narrowed eyes—attempting to bring her out into society had still been a mistake. Even if she was not at fault, and they wanted her to be able to lead a relatively normal life, it was quite wrong to attempt to deceive a decent man into marrying her. He downed his glass of port, and poured another.
As he drank it, he began to wonder if that surly gypsy could really be the father of Hester’s child after all. Surely, if a gypsy had seduced or raped her, Sir Thomas would not allow them back on his land. He was so belligerently protective of her, he’d be far more likely to see them off with a shotgun.
They must be simply caring for the little girl, so that Hester had an opportunity to see her from time to time as they passed through the district. She’d defiantly proclaimed her love for her child. Sir Thomas must not have had the heart to cut all contact with her completely.
His anger began to bleed away. If he was honest with himself, he had nobody but himself to blame for having come so close to offering for her. Sir Thomas had warned him off on more than one occasion. It had been his own perverse pride that had made him defy those warnings.
‘Hester has decided that, since you object so much, she will not go to the camp again while you are here. She does not wish to do anything that might offend you.’
‘Offend me?’ He felt ashamed. After all she must have been through, she would give up contact with the child she loved so much to avoid giving him offence. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘There is no need for that.’
‘Hester thinks there is. And I agree with her. Such visits, now my girls know about them, are bound to raise questions that Hester would much rather not have to answer.’
‘I see.’ What more could he say?
‘Are you quite sure you do not have any more questions you wish to ask concerning my guardianship of my niece, my lord?’ Sir Thomas asked, leaning back in his chair.
‘No, sir,’ he replied bitterly.
‘Hester would like to speak with you further on the matter, though. Since you are about to marry into the family, she feels it only right that you should hear the whole, from her own lips.’
The notion was abhorrent. He had no wish to hear the woman he had thought he would marry relate the details of her downfall.
‘I think enough has already been said upon that subject.’
‘I disagree.’
Stephen shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the two other men at the table glared at each other like two prize fighters about to step into the ring.
‘You have soundly abused a sensitive young lady entirely without provocation. The
least you can do is allow her to state her side of the case, so that the air may be cleared between you.’
The man meant that he owed Hester an apology. Dammit, he was right. Lord Lensborough bowed his head imperceptibly. Whatever her past may have held, he had no excuse for his own behaviour towards her today. Hearing his host say she had gone to him in tears had made him feel like the worst kind of cur. He’d never meant to hurt her.
But his very presence in the house was going to hurt her, from now on. While he remained, she’d told her uncle, she would forgo her visits to her child, lest it offend him.
* * *
He hesitated on the threshold of the drawing room, his eyes drawn to where she sat on a chair a little apart from the others, staring broodingly into the fire while her fingers clutched spasmodically at a piece of knitting. And without quite knowing how he’d got there, Lord Lensborough found himself drawing a chair to her side and sitting down.
‘I must apologise for my outburst this afternoon.’ He kept his voice low, though his tone was urgent. ‘My manners were appalling. I had no cause to speak to you so harshly. Will you forgive me?’
She frowned, as if puzzled, then gave her head a little shake. ‘There is nothing to forgive. No gentleman could have reacted other than you did. It was all my own fault.’ With that, she rose to her feet and left the room, her knitting falling unheeded from her lap to land at Lord Lensborough’s feet. When he bent to pick it up, he was unbearably touched to find she had been making a tiny glove.
As soon as he’d come into the room, Julia and Phoebe had darted to the piano, where they’d snatched up a sheaf of music and dutifully begun to play. The forced cheerfulness of the music grated on his nerves. Never had he been so glad of the arrival of the tea tray, which signalled his chance to return to the sanctuary of his rooms. For once he did not even linger over a brandy in the sitting room he shared with Stephen, but retreated to the isolated purgatory of his bed.
She’d called him a heartless block, but she was wrong. So wrong. He knew he had a heart now, because it was aching.
Before he’d met her he’d had no illusions that his married life would be anything but a duty to be borne. Now bearing it would be doubly hard because he’d had a glimpse of what might have been. With her.
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