by Ted Staunton
“You’ve shot a gun?” we both said.
“Forget you heard that.”
I was home, just finishing “The Murder at Fenhurst” in volume four of World’s Best, when Aunt Jenn finally got in. I went down to the parking lot to help with groceries. Wiley Kendall helped as well. “That Bandit fella robbed the B&G this afternoon,” he told her. “Got clean away.”
“That’s terrible.” Aunt Jenn looked red-faced and tired. “Anybody hurt?”
“No, the news said he always just passes a note, but still. Maybe it’s just as well you aren’t working there anymore, Jenn, stuff like that happening.” I kept my mouth shut. I’d had enough of feeling like a stump toad.
“What is this world coming to?” Aunt Jenn said as we started up the stairs. “My gosh, I’m beat. Glad I shopped this afternoon; I’d have dropped doing it tonight.”
I got up for day camp as Aunt Jenn left for work next morning. She said she’d be home to make supper. I was pouring cereal when I heard a scream from the parking lot. I ran to the balcony. Aunt Jenn was scrambling out of her car. She slammed the door behind her. “A snake,” she cried. “There’s a snake in the car!”
For a second, it was as if she was talking Martian, then it hit me. “Aunt Jenn!” I yelled. “Is it a milk snake?”
“How the hell do I know!” She was waving her hands and backpedalling.
“Don’t touch anything!” I called down. “Wait for me!” I dashed inside and grabbed the phone. This time Sergeant Castro would have to listen.
CHAPTER 26
Better Bounce
By the time I got down the stairs and out into the parking lot, Mrs. Ludovic was following me to see what the fuss was about, and Wiley Kendall was peering in the open window of the car, the big broom in his hand. He reached for the door handle.
“Don’t!” I yelled.
He and Aunt Jenn both spun around.
“I just called the police hotline,” I panted. “They said not to touch anything. They’ll be here as soon as they can. They’re checking out other leads.”
“Hon,” Aunt Jenn said, “what are you talking about? This is either an accident or a dumb joke. I’m sure Wiley could—”
“You don’t understand,” I said. “This is the bank robbery car. From yesterday at the plaza. We were there. Lamar Del Ray could be the bank robber! CC dumped a snake in the car to try and stop him.”
“How could— I was nowhere near the plaza yesterday,” Aunt Jenn yelled. “I went to work and I shopped.”
“Someone could’ve stolen your car,” Wiley Kendall said.
“What? While—”
“CC’s on her way,” I cut in. “She can tell us. She saw the car. If it’s yours, I bet Lamar Del Ray stole it. Remember that time you loaned it to him? There was a robbery that day too. The police have to stop him and—” I sucked it up “—maybe Marty Raymond, before they get away. Then we’ll get the reward!”
Wiley Kendall’s mouth hung open. Mrs. Ludovic exclaimed something I didn’t understand. Aunt Jenn swayed and stumbled against the car. Wiley Kendall dropped the broom and caught her.
“Thank you, Wiley,” she said faintly. “When will they get here?”
“An hour at least, they said.”
Aunt Jenn nodded and shuddered out a breath. “I think I have to go upstairs and sit down. My gosh, what a shock. I do hate a snake, and if somebody stole the car …”
“Lamar Del Ray.”
Wiley Kendall said, “Isn’t he the—”
Aunt Jenn waved her hand in front of her face. “Whoever. It’s too much. Wiley, Dunc, you keep an eye on the car, if that’s what they want.”
“You better call work, let them know you’ll be late,” Wiley called after her. We watched Aunt Jenn cross the parking lot, Mrs. Ludovic hustling in her slippers to keep up. “Shock does that,” he said. “She’ll be okay.”
I peered in the open window of the car. Partway under the passenger seat, a milk snake, like the one from Ms. Khalid’s, was coiled lazily. I pulled back.
CC rode up a few minutes later, Zal right behind, to meet me for day camp. I filled them in on what had happened.
“Is this the car from yesterday?” I asked CC.
She sized it up. “I think so. Little cars all look the same to me. Now a pickup—”
“It’s not an A-W licence,” Zal pointed out.
CC looked in the car. “But that’s Bob all right. Hi, Bob.”
“Are you sure it’s Bob?”
“Pretty sure. He’s a milk snake, anyway. How else would one get in your car?”
“How did one get in Ms. Khalid’s house?” Zal asked.
“You ‘think so’ and you’re ‘pretty sure’?” I felt a swirl of doubt. What had I gotten myself into now? “We’re going to look pretty stupid if you’re wrong, C.”
“You’re the one who called the cops.”
We circled the car, peering in for clues I wasn’t sure I wanted to find, then helped Wiley Kendall rope off the car with orange traffic cones and gardener’s twine. “Duncan,” he said, “I’m going up to check on your aunt.”
Zal, CC and I paced the parking lot.
“Well,” CC said, “on the bright side, I get Bob — or Bob II — back to Marty. Wonder if Marty’s noticed he’s gone yet.”
“CC,” I said. “Marty might be one of the guys the cops are going to arrest.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, he’d still feel better knowing Bob’s safe. Maybe he’ll let me keep him if they close up the store ’cause he goes to jail.”
This was not making me feel better.
I was rescued by Aunt Jenn, calling down from the balcony. “Dunc, I need you. Now.”
CHAPTER 27
Big Time Bounce
Mrs. Ludovic was fretting in the hallway. “Up and dun, up and dun she runnink, Duncan. Iz not good. I am vorried for your auntie.”
“I think it’s shock,” I echoed Wiley Kendall. “Thanks, Mrs. Ludovic.”
When I stepped into our apartment the first thing I noticed was cigarette smoke.
“Hey,” I said to Aunt Jenn. “Have you been—”
“Never mind that now,” said Aunt Jenn. “Just listen.”
She was pacing our little living room, still in her workboots. Wiley Kendall stood in the doorway of the kitchenette, peering worriedly at her through his glasses.
“I need you both to do something for me,” Aunt Jenn said. “It’s important.”
“Ahem, count on it, Jenn,” Wiley Kendall nodded.
She looked at us in turn. “When the police come, I want you to leave Lamar Del Ray out of it.”
“Why?” I protested. “He looks like the Borsalino Bandit. He borrowed your car right before that other robbery. And then last week he disappears with Marty Raymond and they get back and—”
“Disappeared with Marty Raymond? Skeets, what are you talking about? Never mind, tell me later. There’s no time right now. Listen to me: Did you see Lamar Del Ray yesterday?”
“Well, no,” I said. “But CC saw the guy, and the description fits. It has to be him.”
“Ahem, don’t think you have to protect that fella, Jenn. Saw him the once and I knew he’s no good.”
Aunt Jenn ignored Wiley Kendall. “But you didn’t actually see him, Dunc? Did you?” I shook my head no. “So you don’t really know, do you? So leave him out, don’t accuse people you don’t know about. Like Wiley said, anybody could have stolen my car, while I was shopping maybe, and then brought it back — if that happened at all.”
“Well, ahem, if we had a picture of this Lamar to show to CC …” Wiley Kendall began.
“There are no pictures,” Aunt Jenn snapped.
“Aunt Jenn,” I pleaded, “we have to tell them we at least suspect him. And he is suspicious. Marty Raymond knows him, and you said Marty Raymond is big trouble. And when I called Aurora B, they said they’ve never even heard of him, so what’s that about? It’s suspicious.”
“You called Aurora B about
him? You called Aurora B?” Aunt Jenn pulled off her Sox cap and slammed it to the floor. “Listen, you two, I asked for help: no Lamar Del Ray. That means no questions, no arguments. Will you do that or not?”
“Well, ahem, can’t say I’m happy about it …” Wiley murmured. Aunt Jenn looked fiercely at me.
I said, “I think it’s too late.”
“What do you mean?”
“I already told his name on the hotline. I thought the police might come faster if I did, seeing as how he has a record, and well, I thought it might help get the reward …”
Aunt Jenn covered her face with her hands. “The reward,” she said into them.
“To help us,” I fumbled, “for school, so you wouldn’t have to work so hard.”
Aunt Jenn’s hands slid down from her eyes till just her mouth was covered. Her eyes were wet. She gusted a huge sigh into her hands, then took them from her face. “How long do we have?”
“Till the police?” Wiley Kendall checked his watch. “A good while yet. Duncan said they were busy.”
“Get Marty Raymond,” Aunt Jenn said to me. “Get him here now.”
I ran to the balcony and yelled to CC. She used her phone, then took off toward the plaza on her bike. Zal stayed with the car. Aunt Jenn lit another cigarette and paced. Wiley Kendall went with Mrs. Ludovic to make coffee.
I stood in the kitchen doorway, filled with a dread that World’s Best detectives never seemed to get. It looked as if I’d been right all along about Aunt Jenn and Lamar Del Ray. Why else would she want to protect him? And something else had gone wrong, but I didn’t know what. All my brain would let me do was notice that Wiley Kendall’s broom was leaning beside me. I watched it do nothing for what seemed like a long time but probably wasn’t, longing for my Nick Storm mystery instead of this one. Why hadn’t I just stuck with it?
Aunt Jenn abruptly came in off the balcony. “They’re coming up,” she said. She walked over to me. “Skeeter,” she said, “give me a hug,” and folded me into her arms.
I hugged back and for a second the dread was gone and it was just me and Aunt Jenn like it had been since before I could remember. Then there was a knock at the door and she let me go.
“It’s open,” she called.
Marty Raymond came into the apartment. CC, Zal, Wiley Kendall and Mrs. Ludovic crowded in behind. Mrs. Ludovic had a tray with coffee things on it.
“You all better be in on this,” Aunt Jenn said. “I never wanted it this way; hell, I never wanted it at all, but now there’s no time for anything else.”
She nodded at Marty Raymond. “Duncan,” Aunt Jenn said, “meet Lamar Del Ray. He’s also your father.”
CHAPTER 28
Believe-It-or-Not Bounce
I think Mrs. Ludovic dropped the tray but I’m not sure. Nobody else moved. I thought I was still breathing.
Marty Raymond said, “You changed your mind. I’m grateful.”
“I didn’t change my mind. Things have changed,” Aunt Jenn snapped.
The words were like another language. I tried to find my own. All I got was, “Who … My dad is Bill … his fishparents drowned.”
“That was a story they made up for you,” Marty Raymond said. “Truth is, I’m your dad. Lamar Del Ray is my real name. I was young and stupid when your mom told me she was expecting. I panicked and run off. It was a sorry thing to do. And later, after I learned she’d died, I tried to get in touch with your folks, but no one would tell me anything ’cept you’d been told I was dead too and to stay away. But after I did my time, I came looking. I found your Aunt Jenn here and the store for rent in the plaza and I knew it had to be. Those were my two dreams, see: finding you and starting Gator Aid.”
Zal interrupted, “So you went to jail for smuggling baby turtles in your sweatpants, not for a Madagascar plowshare tortoise.”
“’Fraid so, pardner.” Marty sighed. “I started calling myself Marty Raymond so people in the business wouldn’t connect me with the smuggling. I was kind of on the dark side then. I know this is all hard to take in. I’ll show you my passport if you want.”
“Already saw it,” said CC. Marty Raymond’s brow wrinkled.
I cut in, “But Lamar Del— He was here. I met him. I saw—”
“That wasn’t Lamar Del Ray,” Aunt Jenn cut in. She looked at all of us. Her chin tilted up and you could see the tornado starting in her eyes. “That was me.”
Maybe that was when Mrs. Ludovic dropped the tray. Either way, coffee was pooling around our feet on the parquet floor. No one cared.
“That man you saw,” Aunt Jenn went on, “he doesn’t exist. It was me in disguise: a wig and a beard and a pillow on my middle. That’s why Aurora B never heard of him. I dressed up and brought Wiley’s delivery here to test it out. If you’d recognized me, I’d never have gone through with it. I’d have said I was just fooling around for a costume party at work. I didn’t expect you to ask my name, but when you did, I blurted one that went with trouble. It was just coincidence that the real Lamar showed up. I didn’t even recognize him then, not until I saw his close-up on TV when you caught the alligator. I’d thought we’d never see him again.” She turned to Marty/Lamar. “I didn’t intend for you to get dragged in.”
Her chin came down and the storm blew out in her eyes. Then she said, “Sorry.”
“Trouble?” said Marty/Lamar.
“Gone through with what?” That was Wiley Kendall.
“Robbing banks,” said Aunt Jenn. “It was the only way to pay Dunc’s school fees. I’m the Borsalino Bandit.”
That was definitely when Mrs. Ludovic fainted. Marty/Lamar and Wiley Kendall helped her onto the couch.
“So, here’s the thing,” Aunt Jenn said. “I’ve just confessed. The police are coming. You can turn me in, get the reward; one of you, all of you. Or you can break the law and help send Duncan to school.”
CHAPTER 29
Baby Bounce
I’m not saying what we did next was right. I’m just saying we did it. I think CC and Zal thought it was more exciting than getting the reward.
Anyway, everybody pitched in. Mrs. Ludovic cleaned up the coffee spill. Aunt Jenn gathered up some things. CC, Zal, Wiley Kendall and I agreed on what we’d say, which was mostly what happened with no Lamar Del Ray. Marty/Lamar listened. Then Wiley Kendall took a garbage bag with the things Aunt Jenn had gathered, mostly her disguise gear, down behind the building and stuffed it deep in the garbage bins out back. It would be gone with the next day’s pickup.
CC and Zal went out to the car to check on Bob and let us know when the cops arrived. That left Marty/Lamar, Aunt Jenn and me. My family, strange to think. We looked at each other.
“Listen, Jenn, Duncan,” Marty/Lamar said. “About the money, I have to tell you—”
“The money stays where it is,” said Aunt Jenn. Her chin came up again. “And never mind where that is. Duncan goes to school no matter what.” She resisted lighting another cigarette.
“That’s not what I meant,” Marty/Lamar said. “I meant, I know I have a lot to make up for.” Aunt Jenn snorted and lit her cigarette after all. I waved smoke away. Marty/Lamar kept right on. “So, when you told me — yelled at me — about Duncan and school a few weeks back, I did something about it.”
I braced myself to hear that he’d been robbing banks too, but Marty/Lamar said, “I just got back a couple days ago. Brokered a deal on a sunglow ball python that I got a line on; a colour morph.”
“Were you smuggling again?” I asked.
“No way, straight commission deal for a client, strictly legit.” He shrugged, “’Cept I might not’ve said it was a colour morph on the customs form. Knew the guy on duty didn’t care for snakes.”
“I heard you say on the phone that ball pythons are cheap.”
“Not colour morphs, pardner. They’re specially bred, rarest of the rare. This baby went for thirty-eight thousand dollars. My share was five grand, plus what I saved on customs. That’s why I was so happy
Thursday. I’m giving it to you two for Duncan’s school. It’s a start, anyway.”
My family. My crime family.
“We don’t need your money.” Aunt Jenn blew more smoke.
“Yes we do,” I said. “You can’t keep on …” I waved my hand, partly to finish what I was saying without saying it, and partly to keep the smoke away.
Aunt Jenn shot me a laser-beam look. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Then I’ll just give it to Duncan,” Marty/Lamar said. “You can’t shut me out forever.”
Aunt Jenn’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, you’re both right.” She looked at Marty/Lamar. “Thank you. It is a start. Let’s just deal with this first.”
Her cellphone buzzed. It was Zal.
“They’re coming up.”
CHAPTER 30
Back Pocket Bounce
“They” were Zal, CC, Wiley Kendall and Sergeant Castro. He didn’t look happy to see me. “Duncan Fortune,” he said, around his gum. “We meet again. You’re a persistent young man, Duncan. I hope it pays off, for all of us.”
“Hi, Sergeant. How’s Detective Yee?” Suddenly I was so nervous that polite was all that came out. I guess Aunt Jenn had trained me well.
“She’s fine. She’s downstairs with the car.” His glance flicked over all of us and came to rest on the big broom.
“Oh. That’s, uh, mine,” Wiley Kendall said. “Wondered where I left it.”
“Uh-huh,” said Sergeant Castro. He looked at us again. Everyone shifted uneasily. “Does this involve all of you?”
“Well, I guess it does, one way or another,” said Aunt Jenn. “We surely hope you can help us, Sergeant. This morning I found a snake in my car, frightened the life out of me, and now my nephew Duncan and his friends think it means my car was used in a bank robbery. I just don’t know what’s going on.”
“I know the feeling,” Sergeant Castro said, chewing. It didn’t look as if Aunt Jenn was going to get him shuffling and aheming. “But I’m hoping this may save me interviewing the clairvoyant who claims to have visions of where the loot is.” He looked at me. “I’m not holding my breath. All right, Duncan, let’s start with you. Take your time.”