by Anthology
The waiting at the hospital was pure hell. I sat in the waiting room with Rocco and Luigi. By some miracle, the doctors told us Fabrizio pulled through. I have no idea how, seeing as he’d been stabbed six times.
“I told you he’d make it, Allegra. It’s going to take more than a few stab wounds to take down Fabrizio,” Luigi assured me, placing his hands on my clenched fists. “You did well with the police too.”
The police asked me question after question, interrogating me. They wanted to know what my husband did to warrant the stabbing. I was so angry at their questioning, but I played the little dumb blonde mafia wife, pretending to not know anything. I told them I was too distraught to recall the events and saw the whole thing through a trance. I never told them it was Spisso who stabbed him either, but I did tell Luigi and Rocco.
Nothing could’ve prepared me to lie about who tried to kill my husband, but when it came to Fabrizio, it was easy. The police didn’t let up and handed me their contact details in case I remembered anything in the days to come.
I would never call them.
Fabrizio
I’ll never forget the pain of the blade as it ripped into my abdomen. I will never forget the look on Spisso’s face when he did it. And here I am, still alive, after being stabbed six fucking times. The first thing on my mind, when I woke up three days later, was Allegra. But my thoughts quickly shifted to Roberto Spisso and how I was going to exact my revenge.
“Fabrizio, thank God you’re okay and they let me see you,” Allegra said by my side, tears streaming down her face.
“Cara, Allegra,” I whispered. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. How is my father?”
“He’s worried and hasn’t been very well since this happened,” Allegra said, twisting her hands together in an act of concern.
Luigi entered the room with Rocco and I said, “Allegra, I need to talk to Luigi and Rocco alone…we won’t be long.”
Still crying, Allegra leaned down to stroke my face and kiss me. “Ti voglio tanto bene, Fabrizio.”
“I love you too, Allegra,” I told her, my gaze lingering on hers. I felt empty when she left the room but I wanted answers and Luigi had them.
“Spisso has been found. We have him,” Luigi said, taking the seat Allegra vacated. “Rocco was going to finish him off, but we thought you’d like to do that yourself.”
I nodded, my anger taking over again. My men knew me too well by handing me Spisso for me to kill myself. The bastard tried to take my life on my honeymoon, in front of my young wife. So in turn, I would take his.
Allegra
After eight days in the hospital, Fabrizio wasted no time in seeking his revenge on Spisso. His mutilated body was found in an industrial bin at a car yard. The newspapers had it on the front page and the television every half hour, trying to link the murder to the Calabrian mafia.
I was reading in bed when Fabrizio walked in. “Ciao, Allegra, why are you in bed so early?”
“I’m tired. Tired of all the rumours surrounding Roberto Spisso.” I pulled my hands out from my lap to lash out at him, waving them around in the air.
He narrowed his eyes at me with a blank expression. This is what he always did in order to hide his true feelings and cut off his emotions. “Drop it, Allegra.” He turned away from me, but I jumped out of bed and intercepted him, grabbing his arm.
“You did it, didn’t you?” I said, not expecting him to answer me. “And I will not drop it, I am not some young mafia wife who’s going to sit quietly while her husband goes around killing people. I’m not expecting you to tell me everything, but I don’t want you to lie to me.”
“I never have lied to you, cara. Never.”
“So don’t start now. Did. You. Do. It?” I punctuated every word.
“Allegra, why is it so important? Why do you want to put yourself through this? You know what I do for a living.”
“Yes, I do, but I never realised it was that bad. The newspapers say Spisso was brutalized, tortured for hours and then cut into tiny little pieces. What the fuck did I marry?”
“You married a monster. Yes, I did it. Yes, I tortured him and I cut him into tiny pieces, and even better, I fucking enjoyed it. When he begged for mercy, I had no remorse because he fucked with my family and no one does that. No one. If anyone ever tries to hurt any member of my family, I will kill again. When someone tries to kill me, they best not fuck up, or I will enact my revenge on them twofold.”
“Does that make you feel better now, admitting you’re a monster?”
“Jesus Fucking Christ! What did you expect? You knew what this life entailed the day your father gave you to me. When my father dies, I will step up as the leader of the Calabrian Mafia.”
“And us?”
Fabrizio was silent, running his hands down over his face in frustration. “If you can’t accept my life as the future Don, then there is no us, Allegra.”
“But you claim to love me. Is this how you show me love? By saying shape up or ship out? Why can’t you sacrifice this life for me if you love me? I don’t understand.” I pleaded with him, taking his hands in mine.
“Losing you would be the ultimate sacrifice. Don’t you get it, Allegra? If I give up the famiglia, we have no protection. Nothing. My enemies won’t care. Maybe one day I can give it up, but not just yet. I will always have enemies, who’ll try to hurt me, especially you because you’re my wife. I live in fear every day of my life now that I have you. I’m scared to have children because they’ll kill them and kill you. Once you become a Candetti, you become a target.” He looked so sad, yet so angry.
“It’s simple, Fabrizio. We can go away. Go live in Australia, the United States, or London?” I suggested, placing my hands on his muscled chest.
He pushed my arms away in anger. “You just don’t get it, do you? My father needs me. I am next in line.”
“Bullshit!” I threw at him. “Stop lying and tell me the damn truth.”
“What do you want me to say?” he yelled. “The mafia is a part of who I am. It’s all I know, the murders, the stealing, all of it. It’s my life and whether it’s right or wrong, I love it.”
Who am I to argue with a mobster or try to change his mind? “I understand your decision, but I don’t have to like it.” I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
Fabrizio
Allegra spent some much needed time alone for a few weeks at my apartment, while I stayed at the villa during my father’s last days. I missed her, but she needed to step away from the famiglia for a bit. I loved her too much. She was so young, and she deserved a better life than this. I wanted to have children with her, but that meant having more people I cared about being in danger. That was the downfall of being a Candetti.
I will never forget the last hour I spent with my father. He reached for my hand just as I prepared to leave his room after visiting him for the night.
“I understand what you are going through, Fabrizio. You love her, but you are scared about giving up this life. You can be happy with her, son. You will be a better Don than I ever was. You’re smart, you will work out a way. But, never ever forget to protect la famiglia. Family comes first.”
“Never, Father. I will never forget,” I promised him.
“I’ve never told you enough figlio mio, but I love you. You’ve made me proud. Be happy with Allegra, don’t lose her. I will be watching with your mother from the heavens, that’s if they allow a bastard like me in.”
“They will, you’re not that evil,” I joked, trying to hold back the tears.
“Promise me you will be happy, son.” He took one last laboured breath, squeezed my hand and voiced his final words, before closing his eyes on the world. “Promise me, Don Fabrizio.”
I may have dreamed it, but I saw a faint flicker over his face as I responded, “Sempre, Padre, sempre.”
Allegra
Being a mobster’s wife didn’t come easy, but we did have more good times than bad. I adjusted well because Fabr
izio kept his promise of never bringing business home, therefore not allowing it to taint our blissful life together. There were the odd times he’d come home with bloodstains on his clothes or I’d find guns in drawers. Fabrizio had it all planned out. With his hidden bank accounts, I would be looked after if anything were to happen to him. I’d move to another country like I suggested months ago.
Wherever I saw darkness, there was light. Our first light in our marriage was the birth of our daughter Valentina one year later. Fabrizio didn’t care if the baby was a boy or a girl, as long as we were happy. Valentina mesmerised him from the first time he held her in his arms. “Piccolina mia, I will protect you every day of my life,” he whispered with the utmost devotion in his eyes.
The devotion and loyalty Fabrizio had for his family was exemplified when I gave birth to our twin sons eighteen months later. With each birth, Fabrizio became a calmer man and much happier within himself.
Fabrizio
Eight Years Later
“Papa, one of the boys at school told me and Julius you are a mobster and you kill people. What did he mean?” Vincent asked when we were all seated at the dinner table.
Allegra and I looked at one another in shock. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to restrain myself and not break down. I knew this day would come but not like this. It wasn’t what I wanted for my family and it wasn’t meant to go down this way.
“So you kill people, Papa?” Valentina asked with tears in her eyes. “Is that your real job?”
“No, Valentina! Our friend Mario said Papa only kills them if they deserve to die. Isn’t that right, Papa?” Julius said proudly.
Fuck, I had no idea how to respond or handle this situation. My eyes pleaded with Allegra’s for an answer. By the look on her face, I could tell she was furious.
“Boys, Valentina, let’s finish our food in peace and we can discuss this later.” Allegra waited until the children were in bed to give me a lecture. “This is not good, Fabrizio. Julius was all but praising the fact you kill people. It’s scary for him to think like that.”
“I know, cara. At least I don’t drag them along with me like my father used to do with me. I witnessed everything from such a young age. I’m trying to bring them up different to how I was raised. I don’t want their childhood to be tainted with—”
The buzzing of my phone interrupted us. It was Luigi, informing us Allegra’s parents had died. They had been killed.
Allegra
Losing a parent is hard, but losing both at the same time to a vicious double murder was inconceivable, horrific. Not only were they murdered, but slaughtered while sleeping at home.
I wish I’d listened to Fabrizio. He hadn’t wanted me to go to the house, but I was stubborn and demanded to go. Police flooded the house and yellow tape was everywhere.
“Allegra, don’t go upstairs, it’s a crime scene,” I vaguely heard Fabrizio call out to me, but I made my way upstairs and saw my parents’ slain bodies in their bed. The once white sheets were stained with blood and brain matter, numerous bullet holes covering their bodies.
“Get her the fuck out of here!” I heard someone yell from behind me, but I was incoherent as to who it was. I felt strong arms pulling me back and taking me outside. Fabrizio.
“Signora Candetti, I am Detective Francesco Mignone.” I stared at him with tears in my eyes, which were on the verge of overflowing down my face.
“How…what…happened?” I asked him, and he gave me a look of sympathy.
“It looks like a home invasion, Signora, probably some young punks looking for money. My team will be going over the crime scene carefully to find any incriminating evidence,” he informed me, but he gave Fabrizio a steely look. “Your husband has many enemies, and your father worked for the Candetti famiglia. Therefore, anything is possible.”
“It shouldn’t matter if my father worked for Fabrizio or not, it doesn’t warrant a blood bath death such as this,” I rebutted. “You find the killer who slaughtered my parents and you bring them down.”
“Si Signora, as long as your husband keeps his nose out of it, I will do my best to see justice served,” he said, his gaze zooming in on Fabrizio.
Fabrizio didn’t say a word. He only returned Mignone’s stare and grunted as he steered me toward the door. “Allegra, we are leaving so the police can do their job. Andiamo.”
Fabrizio
Gio Firone was a father figure to me and to see both my in-laws murdered in such a way had me feeling a sense of great bereavement and animosity. Allegra was experiencing emotional agony and I had no idea how to console her. I barely knew how to control my own emotions, let alone hers.
In bed that night I held her, raining tender kisses all over her face. “I love you, Allegra. I will be here for you, I—”
“Find them,” she blurted out, shocking me. “Find them and kill them,” she repeated.
“What?” I asked, thinking I’d misinterpreted what she’d said. Killing was something she abhorred.
“My children will grow up with no grandparents. I want justice, and I want you to do it. I know you’re probably confused as to why I’m asking this of you, seeing as I’ve never accepted what you do. I see things differently, with a new pair of eyes. Being the wife of a crime boss, I understand it better,” Allegra admitted, but what I saw in her eyes was not acceptance, it was brokenness. Flawed, just like I was.
Allegra
Within days, Fabrizio, Luigi, and Rocco had found the murderers. When Fabrizio returned home from the hit, he sat on the couch silent and subdued. Luckily, the children had gone to bed as his clothes were splattered with blood.
“Tell me what happened.” I kneeled down in front of him and looked into his haunted eyes.
Fabrizio licked his lips and cleared his throat. “The police were correct, it was a bunch of young kids. But when we found them we interrogated them and made them talk. The truth came out. They were sent to kill your parents by Carlo Romero, an enemy of the famiglia for years.”
“Did you…”
“Yes,” he whispered. “I killed him too, but he has a grown son and I know he will enact his revenge. If I were anything like my father, I would’ve killed the son too, but I didn’t. Perhaps this is a sign for you to take the children and leave, Allegra,” he said with tears forming in his eyes. “There’s no way of telling how all this will turn out or how much protection I can offer my family anymore.”
“I’m never leaving you, Fabrizio. I made a vow and I will be by your side through the good and the bad. We’ll get through this. Let’s focus on each other tonight and block it all out. Just for one night.”
I planted a soft kiss on his lips and we made love there on the couch. It was the gentlest lovemaking we’d ever shared, almost like it would be our last time together. Nothing else mattered at this point in time. Just us. Our love for one another could endure anything.
Fabrizio
Later in bed, I held Allegra close, wrapping my arms around her waist as we came down from our climax.
“I apologise for asking you to kill them. I shouldn’t have. I’ve only made matters worse,” she muttered into my chest.
“Even if you didn’t ask me, I probably would’ve done it regardless. It’s what I do. It may not be what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I do know I want to spend more time with my family,” I said, hugging her tighter. “I want to see my children grow up happy and live a life better than what I’ve had. I want to grow old with you, Allegra, and I want my children to find what we have.”
“Our love is a love I thought I’d never experience.” My heart skipped a beat at her words.
“No matter what happens, we support each other. You need to promise me if anything were to happen to me I want you to be strong, per la famiglia. You will be their rock.”
“Don’t talk like that, Fabrizio,” Allegra scolded. “We will get to grow old together and I won’t ever find another love like ours. There will never be a second chance for me. You ar
e the only man I will ever be with.”
“You and the children have been my saving grace. If and when I die, I want to go knowing you’ve had a lifetime of happiness. My bitter soul was saved the day I met you, Allegra.”
Allegra
Fabrizio kissed me and made love to me again. No other woman could understand him like I could, and no other woman would ever love him like I could. A love full of passion and danger was all I knew and all I could ever want.
“We were always destined to be together, Allegra,” Fabrizio whispered against my temple.
I closed my eyes and snuggled against the man I had been forced to marry because of a family debt.
The danger surrounding me being the wife of the Don was worth every minute because I lived a life with him. Amongst all the pain and all the danger I’ve experienced living my life with Fabrizio, I have no regrets. I love Fabrizio Candetti, the most powerful Don in all of Calabria. I know I may not have the typical family, and I was not betrothed in the usual manner, but this is my life, this is my famiglia, and doing the honourable thing had never felt so right.
The End
Glossary of Italian language
Italian – English
Dio - God
mafioso - mafia