Even though it was just over the phone, instinctively, my ass leaned back.
Lania didn’t look fazed. “Oh please, boy. I did you a favor and you know it.” She started to sing into the phone while making some sorta kissy face. “There isn’t even a mess for you to clean up now is there?”
“You already know ya Mafia brother done came over here wit’ his fuckin’ flunkies and mopped up. What I tell you ’bout callin’ dat mu’fucka e’retime some shit go down? I’m tired of havin’ blood on my hands, Yylannia.”
“I kept your hands clean. Now shut up. I have a question,” she snapped at him. In the blink of an eye her tone went from soft and playful to razor sharp. “Why did I catch you in the predicament you were in, given we could have resolved this in any number of ways with the snap of a finger and, eh-hmmm, saved your ass, sweetheart?”
We both waited for Key to answer, the phone hanging silently between us like a question mark.
“Because I fuckin’ wanted to, Yylannia. You an’ your damn brother got a problem with that shit? Huh? I wanted to!”
Triple whammy, were the words my mental studio audience shouted at the scene unfolding before me. I looked down and traced a heart in the sand with my finger; I knew exactly how Key must have felt, to have those kinds of feelings and be scared to act on ’em ’cause you afraid of what people might say or think. His family’s approval obviously meant a lot to him. I scratched a squiggly break through the heart. That looked a lot better.
“But you told me you turned him down repeatedly and . . . and what about me, Keyshawn? I thought we had an agreement. You seemed happy.”
“What about you, Yylannia? There ain’t no we, jus’ like there could never be anything wit’ me an’ Curtis. What would the star of the muthafuckin’ team look like fuckin’ the owner? If that shit got out it would discredit me, ruin my fuckin’ career. Jus’ like if anyone found out we actually kinfolk. And, what the fuck was Ris doin’ up in here with you? Angelo know she was wit’ you?”
“Of course not, and it doesn’t matter, Key.”
“So what you think he gon’ say when he find out or . . . Oh, lemme guess, y’all cool now, you gon’ save her ass too? You trust her like that?”
Lania glanced up at me nervously. I could see her doubting me all of a sudden as Keyshawn continued.
“That shit you pulled was sloppy and reckless, Lania. And, for future reference, I ain’t askin’ you or anyone else’s permission to use my own gotdamn dick.” The phone went silent, his growl echoing across the beach out and into the waves.
Someone in the studio audience in my head held up their hand. Sooooo, you mean to tell me, if Lania, who is a “she” now, woulda just kept her ass as Lance, a “he”, then, um, he coulda been on some happily-ever-after shit with Keyshawn fo’reals, ’cause the nigga like dick any damn way? The rest of the studio audience whistled and cheered and I shook my head. This shit was just too damn much for me. Here I was, all along gettin’ jealous over Keyshawn spending time with Michelle and the kids. Thinking that nigga wanted to be with Michelle when, in all actuality, that nigga wanted to be Michelle.
“You know Keyshawn does have a point, don’t you?” Lania was looking down at the sand.
I almost didn’t hear her over the conversation I was havin’ in my damn head. “Huh? What you say, Lany?” Laughin’, I nudged her with my shoulder, and the movement made the entire ocean sway with me. “Ooooh, there goes that shit finallllly kickin’ in. I was startin’ to think it was a dud or sumthin’.” I looked over at Lania, my mouth opening to ask her if she was okay, and I had to blink to clear the stars from my eyes, my ears suddenly ringing.
“Bitch, you hit me!” I already knew what was goin’ on. One of us wasn’t gonna leave that beach. Lania done sat there and spilled her fuckin’ guts and now after listenin’ to Key’s ass she was second-guessing shit and trying to clean up after herself. Detroit raised my ass; I knew to throw punches that would break a bitch’s nose before I could read or ride a bike.
Lania tried to hit me again and I grabbed her fist, twisting it until she screamed in pain. She grabbed my hair with her free hand and twisted it, tightening it around her fist and pulling my head back until it was in the sand. It felt as though each strand was being torn from my scalp; the pain made me lose my leverage on her hand and I let go. Fuck, I really wanted to break that shit, too. Lania climbed on top of me, straddling me, grinning. Her hands wrapped around my throat, and I clawed at the ground, reaching around for something, anything to hit her with and coming up with handfuls of sand.
The bitch laughed, taunting me. “Larissa, what’s the matter? You’re so pale. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Now I didn’t know if black people could actually ever go pale and shit, but I could feel all the blood draining from my face. I stared over Lania’s shoulder, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes and sliding down my face, splashing into the sand. I didn’t know what the fuck was in that shit Lania gave me. I had to have been higher than the cost of living in California, giraffe pussy, and the cost of gas to drive me to the San Diego Zoo to look at the damn giraffe just so I could say, “Damn that pussy high.” Because for all intents and purposes, for all my ass knew, I was staring directly at the Ghost of Christmas Past. And it was staring down at me, directly over Lania’s shoulder, with a pistol pointed dead center at my muthafuckin’ nose. For the first time, the studio audience was completely silent.
CHAPTER 19
DISAPPEARING ACTS
It was going on 2:00 A.M. and no one had bothered returning any of my phone calls. I was debating actually going over to Key’s place just to see if maybe they were all over there drunk or high, or worse, having another one of their all-out fuck parties minus me, but I kept talking myself out of it. I refused to embarrass myself in front of him again. Aside from my time in the hospital I couldn’t think of one night that Ris and I had spent apart since leaving Virginia. Call it paranoia or intuition, I didn’t care; I just had a nagging feeling like something was seriously wrong and it wouldn’t go away.
Jim had sent a few of his guys to check the club that we’d been to and a few bars in the area, but since she’d intentionally ditched his team he wasn’t too enthused about putting too many man hours into a search at this point. I’d called Keyshawn a few more times and Larissa’s phone was still going directly to voice mail. I paced the house top to bottom and nearly jumped outta my skin when my phone rang.
“Keyshawn! Oh my God, Larissa—”
“So, I’m guessing I owe you some kinda explanation huh?” He cut me off before I could finish. He sounded tired, stressed.
“An explanation? About what?” What the hell is this nigga talkin’ about?
“Wait, huh? I dozed off, I just woke up. What . . . what were you saying about Larissa?”
“Oh, God, Key, I think something’s wrong. She left with Lania and a bunch of girls earlier today and I haven’t seen or heard from her since.”
“Woooow. I mean. You know how they are. So you haven’t gotten a text, voice mail, no nothing?” He sounded strange, like he was amused or relieved, I couldn’t tell. Maybe he was just happy that I was pissed with Ris because it would give him a chance to get in better with me.
“She’s never done anything like this before. Ever. I don’t know what to do right now. I’m losing my mind over here.”
“You know it’s fuckin’ funny ’cause I haven’t heard from Lania’s ass all day either; her phone’s been off too. You don’t think the two of them . . . Nah.” He cut himself off.
“Tell me, Keyshawn. The two of them what? What do you know?”
“Shit, don’t quote me on this, but Lania had mentioned before that Keisha, the chick from the club—”
“Oh you mean the chick who was with ol’ girl. Chanel, the one who was givin’ you a hand job under the table?” I couldn’t let that one slide. For him to be so interested in havin’ me play the lead he sure did seem to have a lot of side tricks l
ined up waitin’ to step in an’ take the spotlight. The nigga definitely had ho tendencies and that was definitely a red flag in my book.
“Ah, that was when you was givin’ me a hard time remember? I didn’t even know I had a real chance wi’chu at that point. But nah, whenever Lania be on that phone off bullshit she’s usually up to no good, and after the day I had wi’chu and the kids I gave her ass permanent walkin’ papers. No more open relationship. I don’t want that lifestyle anymore. I wanna build on somethin’, I want a family—somethin’ solid.”
I was speechless. It honestly wasn’t what I expected to hear, but everything I needed. “You know, comin’ from a man, words ain’t shit to me, Keyshawn. Far as I know you jus’ another nigga promisin’ me heaven, and for all I know you gonna take me through hell to get there. I got enough hell right now. I can’t do this shit anymore.”
“You won’t have to. How ’bout I come keep you company—we can wait on Ris to call or not call, come home or whatever together. Either way you won’t be doin’ it by yourself. I make some mean hot cocoa, gurrrrl.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Something about him just made me happy and the fact that he could do it even at a time like this, when I was actually worried sick outta my mind, made it that much more meaningful.
“Okay, you can keep me company, and I like marshmallows in my cocoa.”
CHAPTER 20
UNFORGETTABLE AIN’T IRREPLACEABLE
Almost a month had passed since Ris walked out of my life leaving the kids, her clothes, and everything we had together. There was always a shadow of doubt in the back of my mind that still carried the slightest fear that maybe something had really happened to her. It would nag me whenever my mind had a chance to wander, like when I was cooking, or taking a shower, or in those last few moments just before I’d fall asleep.
Lania had turned up within the next few days according to Keyshawn. She’d called him hung over and still high, claiming that Ris was of course laid up with that Keisha girl he’d mentioned. I was hurt, but Key turned out to be my knight in shining armor, gluing the pieces of my family back together little by little, even while dealing with the murder of Curtis, who I later found out was like his mentor, according to his teammates and all the news reports I’d read. They’d found parts of Curtis’s body when some trappers caught a gator with a human arm in its mouth about a week after Ris disappeared. They never caught the killer or found the rest of his body; hell the only way they even knew it was Curtis was by his damn fingerprints. I could tell it still really bothered Keyshawn sometimes.
I’d decided to surprise him and make veal parmesan with bacon-wrapped asparagus for dinner. Closing my eyes I let myself enjoy something that I didn’t get too often: a quiet house. The kids were at the park with Key, taking advantage of having him around since it was the off-season. I was in the middle of crushing garlic when that all-too-familiar alarm chimed on my iPhone. I hadn’t heard from Jim in a while. Keyshawn insisted that I didn’t need him since he had his own “special security” that he refused to tell me about. But until I knew Rah was back behind bars I kept Jim on standby.
“Hi, Jim, long time no hear.”
“Ye know they say no news is good news. Well I’ve got some info that’ll pro’ly have ya doin’ a jig or whatnot.”
“I’m ready.” I took a deep breath, not sure if it would be about Larissa or Rasheed, but anxious either way.
“Not gonna sugarcoat this—they found Rasheed’s body yesterday a few miles south of Emporia back in Virginia. Was burned up pretty bad; had to use dental records to identify it. He was inside one of those CMA CGM shipping containers. There was another corpse in there with ’im, one of ’em a female, but we’re still waiting on more information. No ID on the Jane Doe as of yet. But I know you’ll sleep better now knowing he ain’t after ye.”
I was dumbfounded. There were tears in my eyes from both sadness and joy.
“He wasn’t alive . . . when they burned him, was he, Jim?” No one deserved that kind of death. Not even Rah.
“Not sure yet, sweetheart. We’ll know more in a couple of days. I’ll give you a ring back. ’Til then you be safe and enjoy yourself now.”
I didn’t know what to do with myself. I left the food and everything in the kitchen and walked out the front door; the humidity made sweat bead on my forehead almost instantly. I inhaled, smelling the rain that was coming and the rose bushes on the side of the house that’d just started to bloom. The sky was dark from the approach of one of our usual evening thunderstorms and for the first time in months I was able to just enjoy standing outside, not worrying about who, or if someone, was watching me or waiting.
“Woman, you got this house smellin’ good.” Key walked in right on time with Lataya in his arms and Trey following not too far behind him.
I’d already set the table and was just keeping everything warm until they got back. Fresh basil, garlic bread, bacon; yes, it did smell good and my stomach growled in agreement.
“Everybody wash their hands, it’s time to eat.”
He came over and gave me a soft kiss, handing me a small pink and white envelope.
“What’s this baby?” I looked at it, amused; he never failed to amaze me.
“Oh I don’t know, let’s open it later.” Winking playfully he marched off to the hall bathroom to help the kids wash their hands.
The storm started to roll in just as we finished up dinner. The thunder and lightning were scaring the kids and Keyshawn wasn’t helping, jumping and yelling, “Boo,” in between every damn thunderclap. This was probably one of the worst ones we’d had all summer; it was going on nine and it still hadn’t let up.
“Mommy, can we sleep wif you?” I looked at Key and sighed. Damn and double damn because this is definitely some of that good old-fashioned handling business weather.
“Yes, baby. Let’s go get our PJs on.” Glancing at Key, I led Trey to his bathroom.
He gave me a wink and my ass got excited. That shit meant, oh we are gonna wait ’til they fall asleep and then the business is gonna get handled. It didn’t take long before all four of us were cuddled up in the bed and the three of them, with their bellies full, were of course unconscious before ten-thirty. Lataya was lying on Keyshawn’s chest and Trey was all up in my back when I remembered the envelope he’d given me. I’d left it on the counter downstairs and now my curiosity was getting the better of me.
The storm was still on ten and I couldn’t believe the thunder didn’t wake the kids up. I’d stopped to look out the window and my mind couldn’t help drifting to Larissa. We used to love to watch lightning storms together. “Nature’s fireworks” was what she always called them. An exceptionally bright pinkish silver fork split down from the sky and I wondered if she was watching it now.
My phone dinged from its docking station on the kitchen counter. Slipping the small envelope into the top pocket of my pajama top, I checked my phone. It showed I had one missed call. Secretly, I hoped it was Ris. Every time I dialed her number it went to voice mail. Even though she was on my account, I never turned her line off, even though I pretty much assumed she’d probably gotten a new phone by now. I didn’t know why I didn’t just disconnect it. The missed call was Jim and I pressed the play button to listen to the voice mail he’d left me.
“Hey, Michelle. Funny thing. Was on the phone with the coroner’s office in Virginia going over a few details. The body was set on fire after death. There was no burn or scar tissue on the inside of his lungs.”
Well that was good; the last thing I wanted to think about was Rasheed suffering a painful, horrible death. He had a ton of enemies and I could only imagine who would do something like that once they got a hold of him.
Jim’s voice mail went on: “Only problem is, tissue samples show massive decomposition. That man been dead for about three, maybe four months. Somebody got a hold of him and took him out soon as he got busted out of that prison, Michelle. So my question to you is—”
My iPhone slid from my hand, the glass shattering on the tile of the kitchen floor just as lightning split the sky open and thunder crashed so loud it sounded like a tree trunk being split in half like a twig. I didn’t need to hear the rest of Jim’s question because the answer was standing in my kitchen, soaking wet, staring me in the face. Rasheed was already dead but this could be the night I was going to die too.
CHAPTER 21
IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE . . .
(Two years earlier, December 25 . . .)
“Okay, sweetheart, you gotta trust me on this shit.” Kita was a third-year medical school student who’d been workin’ in the women’s ward at the prison to finish up her residency or whatever the fuck they called it. She was one of the few people who actually took really good care of me during my pregnancy. She felt the worst ’bout what happened to initially even get my ass locked up, and e’reday when she could see me by myself all we’d talked ’bout was findin’ a way to legally get my case appealed. When dat fell through an’ every appeal I turned in got turned down, she started tryin’ to find ways for me to get out illegally. Kita could lose her financial aid and all her school shit by doin’ this, so even though my ass was scared as hell I wasn’t gonna let her down.
“This is some experimental shit we been workin’ on in lab back at Old Dominion. We’ve tried it a few times on animals, small pigs, and I’m gonna write my thesis on it and maybe earn myself an article in the Medical Journal. It’s gonna slow down your heart jus’ long enough for you to flat line. It disrupts the electrical transmitters that the EKG machine picks up on. But never mind; that shit’s technical. Anyway, in three hours you’ll go right back to normal. You still gon’ be breathin’; it’ll jus’ be extremely shallow. So shallow nobody will even be able to notice.”
We were sittin’ in the post-delivery intensive care ward, if that’s what you wanna call it. It was really just an area of the prison that they’d sectioned off with a few raggedy-ass hospital beds that had curtains in between ’em, but since there weren’t a whole lot of pregnant women up in there it was pretty much all mine. A few days ago I’d been stabbed in my cell by my cellmate—the shit sent me into labor a couple weeks prematurely, but me and my baby were both some fighters and we made it out okay.
Baby Momma 2 Page 14