by S. T. Bende
The magnitude was too much for my little black box; tears flowed freely down my face as I was washed in wave after wave of pure energetic power. “Oh my gods, Elsa.” I wept.
“I know,” she soothed. Soft flicks sounded around my face, but I didn’t open my eyes to see what Elsa was doing. I couldn’t believe I was finally free.
I must have cried for a good minute, the cathartic tears of realizing the guilt I’d carried for years wasn’t mine to own. And when I opened my eyes, Elsa sat across from me, lowering her hands from my head to my waist, as if pushing my energy down to my anchor. She opened her eyes with a gentle smile.
“Thank you.” I sobbed.
“I’m a facilitator. That was all you,” she said in earnest. “You grounded yourself firmly in your own circle, and any time you feel those undeserved thoughts of guilt or what ifs, you push them into that stream, or ravine, or tree, and know they’re not yours. This energy, everything you’re feeling—this is what’s yours. You can call on it at any time. You know that, right?”
“Our healings have never been this… this powerful before,” I said. “Why is that?”
“Because you’ve never been this powerful before. Think about it, Brynn; the last time I healed you—really healed you, not the surface wound stuff we do around here—was right after Freya’s last disappearance. You weren’t anywhere near ready to process this stuff then. But now you are. Now you know that none of what happened before is your fault. And you don’t have to lose anyone”—Elsa raised an eyebrow—“who’s important to you, for any reason, unless you choose to let them go. Do you hear what I’m telling you?”
I nodded, still high on vibrating cells.
“Now if I’m not mistaken, I believe your commanding officer is waiting for you on the beach.” Elsa pulled a clear crystal from her pocket, rubbing it between her hands as she spoke.
“Thank you, Elsa,” I whispered. “I never thought I’d be free of that guilt.”
Elsa hugged me back. “There will still be sorrow. But you don’t need to carry any more than that. Not if you plan to walk your path.”
I squeezed her again. “I owe you big time.”
“I accept payment in waffles. Or pancakes.” Elsa opened the office door and pointed down the stairs.
“How about both?”
“Quit stalling.” Elsa gave me a gentle nudge. “Freya and Henrik are waiting for you.”
I took a grounding breath and walked outside. Here goes nothing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“AH, HERE SHE IS.” Freya smiled from the beach.
I walked carefully down the wooden steps and across the damp sand until I reached her side. I raised a brow at Henrik, who gave an infuriatingly calm smile before holding out his hand.
“Here she is,” he echoed. “Let’s take a walk.” When I didn’t move, he wrapped his fingers around mine and gave a gentle tug. The three of us began a slow amble toward the pine trees at the edge of the cove.
“Brynn,” Freya began, when we’d put some distance between the houses and us. “I’ve known you the better part of your life. I’ve been your friend, your boss, and by the grace of Odin, I get to be your matchmaker.”
“Just tell me if I’m fired,” I pleaded.
Freya raised an eyebrow. “Why would you be fired?”
“Because… um…” I hemmed, waiting for the bad news.
Freya smiled. “No. You’re not fired. In fact, it’s just the opposite.”
What was the opposite of fired?
Freya gave a sanguine smile as she continued. “Brynn, I’ve always appreciated your warmth and kindness—you’re one of the most open spirits I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, and I knew that a soul as sensitive as yours would need its other half to be strong and dominant, but yielding when necessary, and ruled by compassion always. I also knew you’d need a counterpart who would challenge you, both intellectually and emotionally. You’re one of the smartest goddesses I’ve ever worked with. Luckily.” Freya’s eyes twinkled. “The two of you and your genius technology saved my life back there.”
“Yeah, well, that was mostly Mia’s conception. She mapped out the schematics so all I had to do was—”
“Not true.” Henrik shook his head. “Remember that day when we were all in the lab talking about ‘what ifs,’ and you said ‘what if we’d been able to stop time right before Fenrir bit Tyr?’ That’s when we mocked up our original prototype and that’s the—”
“You’re a team,” Freya interrupted. “And the perfekt one at that. To answer your question from earlier, Brynn, yes, I knew you’d give in at some point and try to kiss Henrik. You’re smart as a whip, but you’re ruled by your emotions. It was only a matter of time before they shattered your perfekt control. I’m just grateful it was love, and not fear, that you chose. For a long time after Anja’s passing, I watched your heart battle itself. I was afraid the wrong side would win out.”
“I miss her every day,” I admitted. “But even on my saddest days, Henrik’s always been right there. I’ve cried on his shoulder more times than I want to admit.”
“I know.” Freya smiled. “Who do you think told him to comfort you?”
I blinked at Henrik. He grinned down at me. “It didn’t take too much convincing, sötnos. Nobody wants to see someone they love in pain.”
There it was again. Love. My heart flew somewhere high in the clouds and beamed down on me.
“But we can’t be together until I make captain, right, Freya?” My heart dive-bombed back into my chest. “Oh, gods. If I’m not fired for trying to kiss Henrik in Alfheim, then when I make captain someday you’re going to present me with my perfekt match. But if he’s not Henrik, I don’t want him. I’ll pass.” My eyes pleaded with Freya. “I can pass, can’t I? I do have a choice in this.”
Freya laughed, the tinkling sound bouncing across the shore. “Sorry, I’m still pretty out of it. I’m not doing a good job. Let me make this clearer. Brynn Aksel, for your role in hunting down my abductors, for assisting in the development of tools that enabled your team to track my whereabouts, and for embracing the light within your heart and thereby saving my life in Helheim, I hereby promote you to the rank of captain within Odin’s High Order of the Battle Goddesses, the Valkyries.”
I gasped. “But that’s a jump of two full ranks!”
“Are you questioning my decision?” Freya raised an eyebrow.
“No, ma’am.”
“You are now titled captain in good standing, with virtues fully honorable. And as Goddess of Love, and head of the valkyries, it is my deepest pleasure to present you with your perfekt match. Henrik Andersson, you may claim what I promised you.” Freya winked at Henrik, and started toward the beach house. “I’ll leave you to it.”
Henrik touched Freya’s arm and she turned around. “You should know Brynhild’s getting a bit ahead of herself. She threatened Brynn while you were gone. You might want to speak with her about her role.”
Freya arched one eyebrow. “I will deal with Brynhild personally. Maybe it’s time her talents were focused elsewhere within my organization.”
“Good call.” Henrik released Freya’s arm, then touched it again. “Oh, and Freya?” He broke into a grin. “Thank you.”
“Treat her well, Andersson. I’ve got my eye on you.” With that, Freya retreated, walking backwards with an impish grin.
My jaw fell open as I watched her leave. When I gained the muscle control to look at Henrik, he wore a smirk.
“I was… promised to you?” I gaped.
“Freya’s surprisingly open to suggestion,” he responded. “I told her I’d been in love with you since high school. Then I explained how your credentials would make you an exceptional lab partner, and I wanted her to put you on Tyr’s team so she could see how well we fit together. She didn’t have to observe for long to realize I was right.”
“Henrik Andersson, you… you…” I shook my head. “That was really smart! It never occurred to me to just a
sk her if we could be together.”
Henrik stepped so he stood directly in front of me. He slipped his hand around my waist so his fingertips rested lightly against my lower back. A beam of heat shot somewhere due south of my navel at the touch. Oh, gods.
“‘You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take,’” he quoted.
“That a scientific fact?” I teased.
“Mmm.” He hiked me closer, so my hips were pressed against his upper thigh. A small gasp escaped my lips, and he used the moment to dip his head to mine. His cool breath brushed my cheek as he spoke. “Something like that.”
My heart beat a thunderous rhythm in my chest as I brought one hand up to his bicep. Gods, it felt good. With the other hand, I lightly touched his hair, fingering a strand that curled in a gentle wave behind his ear. “Am I allowed to kiss you now?” I whispered.
“No,” he whispered back. And my hands dropped to my side in defeat. Still?
Henrik slid the hand not holding my waist up my back until he cradled my head in his palm. His eyes bore into mine with an intensity that left me breathless.
“Because Freya made me another promise,” he murmured.
“What’s that?” The question came out as a squeak. A squeak. What was wrong with me today?
Henrik ran the side of his nose along mine, and my eyes fluttered closed. “She promised me that I got to kiss you.”
Before I could blink, soft lips pressed against mine. My hands flew back to Henrik’s hair, and I laced my fingers through the waves and pulled him closer. I’d waited my whole entire life for this moment, and I didn’t have a drop of patience left. Henrik’s throaty chuckle reverberated against my mouth before his tongue lightly probed my lips. I parted them, all but begging him to enter, and tasted the indescribable sweetness that was all Henrik. Everything that was right in all the worlds.
Henrik shifted me so I was cradled in his arms. As he dipped me backward, he nipped at my bottom lip, sending a wave of pleasure coursing all the way through my body. I held on tightly as he kissed a trail down my neck, committing every touch to memory. I knew I’d be reliving this moment for the rest of my life.
“Woo-hoo!”
“About bloody time!”
“Finally! Pay up, Fredriksen, I totally won.”
The claps and cheers interrupted my long-awaited bliss, and I reluctantly opened my eyes. Henrik stared back at me, his grey-blue orbs twinkling with laughter. “Guess we deserve that.” He righted me, holding me close to his chest, and wrapped both arms possessively around my waist. “Leave us alone,” he shouted to the small crowd of gods and a solitary mortal gathered on Tyr’s back lawn.
“No way!” Tyr called back with a laugh. “Mia and I had a bet, and I owe her some nominal mortal thing.”
Mia elbowed his side. “We shouldn’t be watching this.” She giggled.
“You’re the one who told us to look outside,” he pointed out. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What do you say, sötnos? It’s been a few hundred years—can this wait a few more hours?” Henrik looked down at me, his eyes mirroring the adoration I beamed up at him.
No. I sighed. “We should probably let Tyr debrief everyone, and give him an update on which weapons worked on which species.”
“Mmm. Work first. Smart call.” Henrik bent down and nipped at my ear. Oh, hello. “But after, what do you say you and I steal a little alone time?” He shot a pointed glance at the grass, where Forse let out a catcall.
“It’s a date.” I stood on tiptoe and pulled his head down so I could give him one more lingering kiss. Tyr’s wolf whistle broke the spell. “All right!” I yelled across the sand. “We’re coming!”
As we crossed the beach to the stairs, the only thing keeping me from floating to the heavens was Henrik’s steadying hand holding tightly to mine. And though I was told I gave a thorough debriefing about the effect of the sound box on the dragons, about the properties of the ice on Helheim, and about what I suspected to be the inherent flaws in the worm hole of doom, the only thing I remembered about the meeting was the moment it ended, and Henrik whispered in my ear, “Let’s get out of here.” He scooped me in his arms, ignoring the catcalls of our friends and grinning the entire way to his house. He set me on my feet and backed me against the wall, pinning my arms to my sides and kissing me with such fervor, I lost all sense of time.
“Brynn Aksel,” he murmured as I fought to stay standing.
“Mmm?” I murmured.
“Now that there’s no muffling spell blocking your hearing, there’s something I need to tell you.” He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. I grinned, knowing exactly what he was going to say. “I love you, sötnos.”
“I love you, too. Now kiss me again.” I pulled his head to mine and lost myself in the absolute joy that was finally kissing Henrik Andersson.
“I might never stop,” he warned.
“I hope you never do,” I vowed. Henrik covered my lips with his, finally claiming the perfekt match he’d been promised by the Goddess of Love.
And I realized something I think I knew all along.
Perfekt control was way overrated.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“WE’VE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER control back at the house. Don’t worry, we’ll save you a sample to play with after you finish your last exam. It stinks that you have one the day before vacation—I had all of mine on the first two days, which sucked at the time, but—” I tilted my head to anchor my phone to my shoulder while Mia clucked her sympathy. As she moved on to listing her own academic-induced anxieties, I adjusted the lens on my microscope. “It’s okay. I already know you passed Calc II; Henrik graded our tests this morning and said we both got an A. Just ace your Literature final so we don’t have to hear what a bad influence we are during Christmas break. Okay. You too. Bye.”
I hung up and slipped my phone in the back pocket of my jeans before glancing around our upstairs lab. The in-house workspace was small, occupying just half of the Arcata cabin’s man cave, but it was considerably warmer than the bigger setup we kept downstairs in the garage. We would have preferred to use the engineering lab on campus, but due to the unpredictability of the irid crystal, we’d decided it would be safer for the student body if we tested this one at home.
“Mia stressed out about her test?” Henrik looked up from his own microscope.
“Yup.” I removed my slide and passed it over to Henrik. “Even though she brought her books with her, she’s convinced the few days she spent at the beach house impeded her study schedule. I don’t think she’s left the library in thirty-six hours, except to take an exam.”
“It must be really hard to live inside that head.” Henrik swapped slides, and adjusted the focus on the one I’d just passed him.
“Do you see how the cells in this sample look identical to the other one?” I asked.
Henrik leaned in. “I do.”
“Okay. Now watch.” I crossed to his side and turned the dial on a Bunsen burner. I held the flame a few inches from the microscope, and waited.
“Did they just mutate?” Henrik asked.
“They did,” I confirmed, jotting a quick sentence in my notebook. “The irid crystals reconfigure at a cellular level—but don’t dissolve—when they’re exposed to an increase in temperature. If we track the pattern of the change, we’ll be able to predict transitive properties and draw up a schematic for a climate suit.”
“Then it’s Muspelheim volcano expedition, here we come.” Henrik pulled back from the lens with a grin. “This changes everything.”
“You’re telling me.” I switched the burner to “off” and set it on a shelf, then leaned my back against the lab table and crossed one ankle over the other.
Henrik removed his goggles. He took two steps to his left and positioned himself so one leg was on either side of mine. He placed his hands on the counter and leaned down so I was boxed in. I lifted my head and feigned annoyance.
“He
nrik Andersson, we haven’t finished documenting our findings.”
“No, we haven’t.” Henrik leaned down to run his nose along my jaw. He inhaled softly as he moved, and the cool air left goose bumps across my neck.
“You’re breaking protocol,” I reminded him.
“That I am.” He reached my ear, his lips brushing against the lobe as he spoke.
“Henrik,” I murmured, willing my knees to hold out. It would be beyond unprofessional to actually swoon in the middle of a lab.
“Brynnie,” he murmured back, raking my earlobe between his teeth. Oh gods, screw protocol. I reached up and wrapped my fingers through his tousled waves. I tilted my head to the side and guided Henrik to my neck. He let out a growl and shifted, nudging his knee against my legs to force them apart. Then he stepped closer, pressing his thigh against my hips as he kissed a path from my chin down. My head dropped back when he reached the hollow of my neck, and Henrik reached up to tug my hair free of my ponytail. When he fisted my hair in his hands and crushed his lips against mine, I let out a moan.
And then my phone beeped.
“Ignore it,” Henrik urged.
“What if it’s Tyr?” My eyes rolled back in my head as Henrik sucked on my bottom lip.
“Knull Tyr,” Henrik swore.
“I can’t.” I reluctantly slid my phone out of my pocket and checked the screen.
“Is it Tyr?” Henrik pressed his thigh against me again. Mmm…
“What? Uh, no. Text from Hyro. She says she loves her new place.” I set my phone down on the counter and giggled. “Setting her up next door to Finnea was an inspired touch. Thanks for that.”
Henrik chuckled. “I thought you’d appreciate that relocation. Turns out the meadow elves were happy to take in a lost soul. Especially one who was so willing to join in on their solar-based worship. Finnea can just deal.”
My phone beeped again, and Henrik raised an eyebrow. “Am I going to need to confiscate that?”
“Technically we’re on duty, so that’d be unsafe,” I reminded him. I checked the phone again, and turned it face down on the counter. “Berry. He says the missing dwarves are all accounted for and back to their normal routines. Jeez, Forse must be handing out our updated communication devices like candy.”