“Let me make love to you again Candasee, I love you so damn much I can’t see straight,” Nathan murmured against her mouth insistently.
“I love you too and I want you to know that Nathan, I do. You were the one who made my heart come alive after I thought I would never feel anything again. You’ve been a wonderful friend to me, you are patient with me, and you’ve always put me first even when I don’t understand your way of doing things. I can’t ignore that and I love you for it.”
“Well, don’t push me away then. If you love me we can make this work Candee,” he replied gently swiping at the tears that flowed down her cheeks.
He drew her into his arms and held her as she sobbed against his chest. If she loved him what was the problem? He didn’t need to answer that question, he already knew. She’d already given her heart away years ago. Would it always be like this with them, him loving her more than she loved him back? That truth stung Nathan like a wildfire as he acknowledged the unspoken reason for her struggle.
She’d never gotten over Darius.
Chapter 15
“What are you doing here Graeme?” Nathan snapped angrily. He’d just made the final check through for the awards ceremony that evening with the events team and everything was on stream. He’d barely slept the night before after his talk with Candasee and he was exhausted. They’d spent the night holding each other until the first rays of sunlight appeared on the horizon.
The last person he needed to see waiting for him now was Graeme.
“Is that any way to welcome your brother?” replied Graeme rising to his feet.
“Haven’t you caused enough problems? We can deal with everything when I get home in a few days.”
“Actually I didn’t come to see you Nathan per se. I got a summons from Darius Brogan and we just had the most interesting meeting.”
“You what? How do you even know him?”
“I called him the same afternoon you told me about his offer and he was flying to Barbados to see me to go over the terms of our agreement. He never made it so he flew me out here instead.”
“You took his offer knowing what it would cost me?” Nathan was beside himself with anger as he remembered Darius’ terms to walk away from Candasee. What game was he playing making deals with Graeme but telling Candasee to work things out with him. It didn’t make a lick of sense.
“He was really quite generous and that’s what I need to talk to you about, especially before tonight’s awards ceremony. Can we have a drink and talk?” Graeme asked.
So much for that much needed nap, Nathan thought as he led his brother over to one of the beach bars where they both ordered tropical fruit punches.
“So what deal did you make with Darius the Devil, Graeme?”
“He’s no Devil, not by a long-shot,” Graeme began and exhaled loudly before continuing. “He wants to fund the program next year fully so that our students can continue their studies. It seems that he was very impressed with the quality of your programme here this week and with many of the students.”
Nathan snorted with disdain.
“He has decided that for this year he will also pay for all the delegates to receive full scholarships to the universities of their choice. I’ve never heard of anyone making such a generous offer. Frankly, I was flabbergasted.”
Nathan’s mouth dropped open in shock. That kind of investment was worth millions. There had to be a catch.
“What’s the catch?”
“He said that he wants nothing except one thing. I have to submit the financial reports to him every month for the year so that he can monitor our stewardship. I also have to see a therapist about my gambling addiction who will report on my progress to him. This whole experience is the push I needed to get my life together Nathan. I’m so sorry about what I put you through, it wasn’t fair.”
“You might be too late for sorry Graeme,”
“What do you mean?”
Nathan ignored his question and asked, “What about Candasee Graeme? What did he say about her in this sweet deal of yours?”
“Nothing actually, He said that he would nullify any agreements he made with you in favour of this one.”
“I don’t believe you. Darius would never give up just like that. He loves Candasee.”
“Obviously enough to let her go,” said Graeme softly.
Nathan leaned back against the bar now puzzled at Darius’ generosity. He would pay the program costs and award all the delegates with scholarships? That was more than seven million dollars in all. Who just gave away seven million dollars without getting back something in return?
Graeme interrupted his thoughts as he continued. “You will need to announce this tonight at the ceremony, I know the delegates will be thrilled,”
“I don’t trust the man,” said Nathan.
“What’s not to trust? The man took a bullet for one of our delegates when he could have turned his head and looked the other way. I think this is a bloody miracle if you ask me. He’s given us a chance to keep Mom’s legacy alive and he’s given me the chance to get my act together.”
“Hear, hear, the convening of the Darius Brogan Fan Club!” snorted Nathan sarcastically. He knew he should have a better attitude about this but right now he was jealous, frustrated and too tired to care.
“Hey man, I thought that you would have been happy about this,”
“Yes, once again life somehow favours you and whisks you out of your personal hell, while you just continue to mess up my life in every way. You’ve been doing this since we were kids and you know what, I’m tired of it and I’m tired of you. When this intensive is over I will be making plans to move to the USA. I’m not going to be your lackey anymore. If Darius wants to waste his money on you, let him, I’m done.”
“Nate...”
“Don’t call me that Graeme; don’t even speak to me right now.” Nathan drained the rest of the juice from his glass, set it down on the bar and walked away. Everyone was getting what they wanted, everyone but him.
Nathan stood before the staff and delegates and looked at all of their expectant faces. It was the final night and everyone was dressed in their best for the awards ceremony. The hotel events team really outdid themselves in preparing the conference room for the event with a gold, white and violet theme to decorate the round tables, chairs and centrepieces.
The excitement in the room was palpable as everyone waited to hear the outcome of the showcase judging. He started by congratulating both the instructors and the delegates for all their hard work in pulling off another successful intensive. His gut twisted painfully as he prepared himself to deliver the good news.
“Tonight I have the special privilege of announcing our intensive winner. This delegate showed immense talent and also a sense of maturity and discipline that all of the judges were impressed with. I now congratulate Dominic Gibson as this year’s scholarship winner.”
The crowd erupted with cheers as everyone supported the decision. Candasee looked across at Julia’s face and there was no trace of sadness or envy there as she heartily congratulated her new friend. She and Dominic had become quite close during the week.
Dominic came to the stage and accepted his award. He then performed a solo on the guitar and all of the students and staff gave him a standing ovation when it was finished. He was then presented with the scholarship cheque which would allow him to have all expenses paid for three years to complete a certification in the area of his choice at university. It was worth one hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars and he could be seen wiping tears from his eyes as he stood to take his photos with the staff.
When Dominic was seated again Nathan once again took his place at the microphone. Candasee couldn’t help admiring him as he effortlessly communicated with the audience. He always had a way of setting everyone at ease when he spoke. You got the feeling somehow that everything was going to be alright.
“Now we also have a bit of a surprise for all of you,” he cleared hi
s throat.
“We all know by now that Mr. Darius Brogan the owner of this fine hotel , took us in when we had nowhere else to go this week and not just that, we were blessed with an upgrade in facilities and also the opportunity to be featured in the Where In the World Is Sally Flander’s travel show,”
The audience applauded loudly and Nathan smiled as he waited for them to be quiet once again.
“We owe him a debt of gratitude for that alone. He also went beyond the call of anyone’s duty to rescue one of our delegates Julia who was ruthlessly kidnapped from her room by the parents of one of our delegates. I publicly offer Julia my apologies for that awful ordeal. But, Mr. Brogan who is still in the hospital recuperating, bravely assisted in her rescue and was injured in the process. He sends all of you his regards especially the delegates. He was very impressed with the hard work which you all put in during the week, and because of that he has committed himself to giving all of you fully paid scholarships.”
At first a hush enveloped the room as everyone looked at him with shock. Then the delegates began to shriek with joy and hugged each other with tears flowing from their eyes. They were all going to be able to go to university and get the education they wanted.
Candasee felt paralysed where she sat. Darius was paying to send all of these students to college to study the performing arts? A lump of emotion she couldn’t describe was now firmly lodged in her throat as she tried to process the information. She glanced over to Julia who was being hugged by Dominic and tears of joy were streaming down her face. All around her the scene was the same. She looked back at Nathan and saw that although he was smiling that the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Why wasn’t he happy about this?
The congratulations continued for another five minutes before the delegates could contain themselves enough to sit again.
“Yes, it is very good news. But that still isn’t all. He has also decided to fund our Academy program this upcoming year as well,” Nathan continued.
More gasps of shock came from the audience as he spoke.
“We know that he couldn’t be here to witness this but we’ve arranged to have this entire night proceedings video recorded and you will be able to meet with the videographer later to say your own personal words of thanks. He gestured to where Courtney was seated. One of her employees was manning the camera at the time to record Nathan as he spoke.
“We will also raise a toast to him at this time. So if you would all raise your glasses with me. To Mr. Darius Brogan, for your extraordinary kindness, your generosity and your courage, we are forever in your debt. Thank you! Cheers! And everyone echoed his voice loudly.
After the ceremony, all of the delegates milled around hugging each other, recording their thank you videos and exchanging phone numbers and email addresses because most of them would be flying home almost immediately the following morning. Tomorrow was the final day and it was always reserved for the instructors to have their annual rest day. Tomorrow the staff would be taking a tour of the island’s museum and national nature reserve before ending off the evening with a catamaran tour of the west coast and snorkelling! Everyone seemed to be thrilled at the prospect of going and having a good time.
This week had its ups and downs and many unexpected disappointments. As he greeted everyone and said his farewells, Nathan looked around for Candasee but she’d disappeared since the awards ceremony finished. He hadn’t seen her much during the day and ever since he’d spoken to his brother he was in a barely restrained foul mood for most of the evening. He needed to be with her even if it would turn out to be their last day together. He laughed dryly to himself as he thought about just how much he’d hoped that by now they would have deepened their relationship this week. He forced a smile to his face as a few delegates approached him and shook his hand thanking him for the opportunity this week to sharpen and showcase their talents. After a few more conversations, Nathan was no longer focused on the room.
Even he was having trouble holding on to the anger and hatred he was festering against Darius right now. The man was remarkable he grudgingly admitted.
Where was she? He walked out of the room where the dinner was being held to walk along the boardwalk scanning the beach for any sign of her. He walked along for about five minutes before finally spotting her leaning against a coconut tree and staring out toward the ocean. She looked so beautiful dressed in a coral toned batik printed dress featuring a cold shoulder a cinched waist and a flared skirt which ended mid-thigh. Her hair was upswept and she wore large diamond teardrop earrings which sparkled in the moonlight.
Taking a deep breath he walked up to her slowly. The cracking of a palm branch beneath his feet startled her and she looked toward him with surprise.
“Oh Nathan, it’s you! You scared me,” she exclaimed with relief. She walked right up to him and hugged him tightly and rested her head against his shoulder.
“I missed you, why are you out her all alone?” he asked.
“I guess I was overwhelmed by all that I just heard inside just now. Darius has really gone out of his way to help us,” Candasee sniffed. He’d changed, just as he said he had.
“I know, I still can’t get over it myself. I plan to go to see him tomorrow to thank him personally,” said Nathan.
“How are you really Nathan? You seem so saddened by all of this. I thought that you would be on a high tonight.”
“So do you my love, you are out here alone and crying,” Nathan said swiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb.
“I guess we are both guilty then?” Candasee said with a loud sniff.
“I am torn inside Candasee. I miss you so much that it is taking all of my strength to pretend that this intensive actually is enough to take my attention away from all that has happened between us. I am literally in knots over the thought that I could end up leaving here without you!” he said openly. We came here as best friends, as two people who love each other and who made a commitment to spend our lives loving each other. Now seven days later we are barely speaking to each other.”
“I’ve missed you too, and this has been really hard on me as well. I want you to know that I really value you and all that you mean to my life.” Candasee began.
“If I am that important to you, then give me a chance to love you!
“It’s not that simple Nathan, nothing is simple, not anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Candasee, if you’re breaking off this engagement with me then tell me already and stop stretching this out! There is only so much I can take!” said Nathan through gritted teeth.
“I know Nathan! I’m so sorry that this happened to you of all people. I think you are such an amazing man and I never wanted to hurt you, not for a second!” she said as tears flowed down her cheeks.
“Candasee I am going to ask you something that I want your honest answer to. I don’t know if I can take it but I have to know right now! Tomorrow we will be free to explore this island with the other instructors and I was really hoping to spend the day with you!” he said brokenly. “When you close your eyes and look into your ideal future, the one where you have your dreams fulfilled and you are happy and in love, who do you see with you? Do you see yourself with Darius or do you see me?”
She had to tell him the truth that that the only face she ever saw from the beginning was Darius’. It never made sense but it that was how she felt. She was back at home and Darius was right the first night he’d sent her the card and flowers. It had just taken her much longer to realize it!
“Nathan please don’t ask me to answer you right now, this is a night you should be celebrating and you should be ending on a high!” she said.
“Candasee, I could host many other big events in the future but there is just one you. Tell me the truth, who do you see?” he pressed.
“I see Darius. I always have!” she said quietly. “I’ve tried to purge him from my heart and I never could. I hoped that starting over with you would eventually be enough for me and for a while it
was,” she wept.
Nathan folded his lips in a thin line as he tried to absorb all he was hearing. He just couldn’t, even though she was standing right here telling him this, he just couldn’t accept it. He found himself looking at her and shaking his head.
“No Candasee, don’t do this,” he said finally holding her shoulders firmly.
“Nathan, I never meant to hurt you, and I thought that if I tried to be with you I could forget Darius but I couldn’t. I never have. I’m sorry. I wanted to make this work between us, I really did!”
Nathan allowed his hands to fall to his sides as he absorbed Candasee’s words. All of his hopes were now shattered and empty. It was over. He couldn’t believe it.
She slipped off her ring and pressed it into the palm of his hand.
“Someday you will find the woman who is deserving of this honour, but it can’t be me.”
“Hey you two!” shouted Dave, unless you plan to miss the final toasting come on! You have more than enough time for all that ‘lovey dovey’ stuff later!”
“We’ll be there soon”, shouted Nathan keeping his back toward Dave not wanting him to see the pain he was sure now clouded his features. There wasn’t any more time. Their time was up and accepting that finality was the hardest thing of all.
“Our lives are moving in different directions Nathan and soon you will be a huge, famous, television producer. I don’t want that kind of limelight. I already have a dream to open my own dance school and I want to pursue that instead.”
“So it’s true when they say love isn’t enough?” Nathan asked in a low voice.
“You’ll find love again Nathan, and who knows it might be with someone you never expected to love.”
“You will always be the face I see Candasee. Anyone else will just be second best for me,” he answered in an agonized tone before walking away from her quickly and rejoining the festivities.
The rest of the evening seemed to drag on and on and Candasee felt the weight of her confession, and the loss of Nathan’s friendship and his trust. She wouldn’t be returning home with the others. Tomorrow she would try to get a flight back to Barbados and she would mail the Academy her resignation letter immediately. She’d wanted to say goodbye properly but Nathan was right, there was no perfect way to ever say goodbye to someone you loved. Staying another day would’ve only deepened the wound she’d created. They both needed time to heal.
Fighting Destiny Page 29