Murder in Gatlinburg
Steve
Demaree
This book is dedicated to my wife, Nell, to all of you who have fallen in love with Lt. Dekker and Sgt. Murdock over the years, and those of you who can't wait to get back to Gatlinburg.
Bought by Maraya21
Kickass.so/1337x.org/h33t.to/thepiratebay.se
Books by Steve Demaree
Dekker Cozy Mystery Series
52 Steps to Murder
Murder in the Winter
Murder In The Library
Murder at Breakfast?
Murder at the High School Reunion
Murder at the Art & Craft Fair
Murder in Gatlinburg
Off The Beaten Path Mystery
Series
Murder in the Dark
Murder Among Friends
A Bridge to Murder
Aylesford Place Series
Pink Flamingoed
Neighborhood Hi Jinx
Croquet, Anyone?
Nonfiction
Lexington & Me
Reflecting Upon God’s Word
Other Mysteries
A Smoky Mountain Mystery
Table of Contents
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
1
Geoffrey Chaucer said that all good things must come to an end. Actually he said "things" and someone added the "good" later. Well, that's the way it turned out for Lou and me. No, I didn't shoot him, and he didn't shoot me. But both of us decided to retire, completely retire, from the Hilldale Police Department. I would no longer be Lt. Dekker and he wouldn't be Sgt. Murdock. Instead we would be Cy and Lou, retired guys extraordinaire.
It was something the two of us had talked about doing for a year or more. We went back and forth from one week to the next. We, the two members of Hilldale's Homicide Department, had solved every murder that had happened in Hilldale during all those years we were the entire homicide department. I wondered if someone else could do the same. I worried that we couldn't find something to do to occupy our time and our minds, but finally we bit the bullet and agreed to retire. Lou and I made our decision and set our retirement date. We notified the Chief six months in advance, so we could train someone to step into our shoes. We even recommended the two people who we wanted to take our places, and the Chief agreed with our suggestion. But just as soon as Lou and I made it official, once again I began to have doubts. I had no family. I had no hobbies, other than reading, and as much I liked reading I didn't think I wanted to do that all day, everyday, for the rest of my life. I had no desire to work for anyone else, so getting a part-time job didn't appeal to me. And I didn't need the money anyway. Both Lou and I had done a good job of investing our money over the years, and barring anything unforeseen it would be enough to tide us over until we no longer had any need for money. But I still needed something to do each day. Something other than reading, and spending time with Lou, and my girlfriend Jennifer. I had no idea at that time that the department would give me an idea that could occupy some of my time. So I continued to fluctuate back and forth between being exciting about retirement and having second thoughts.
As the months passed, it was as if every possible murderer in Hilldale had received a memo (or more likely an e-mail or a text)) that we were retiring. Either that or those who had considered murder had mellowed in the last few months. I didn't bother to look it up, but I was sure that it was the longest our little burg had gone without a murder. Maybe the Gideons were handing out more Bibles, and people were reading them and had grown fearful after reading Exodus 20.
Whatever the case, the months passed. In a way it reminded me of that time many years ago when I was about to graduate from high school. I had already decided that college and I weren't for each other, so I knew that when June approached I wouldn't have to go to school anymore. My feeling about retirement was similar. Only our retirement would come in early May, not June.
I started my countdown at thirty days. Each morning I woke up, added another X to my calendar, and prayed that no one in Hilldale got murdered until after Lou and I were sent out to pasture. And each day that we didn't hear of a murder in town I wondered if all the murderers were waiting until the last day or so until Lou and I retired to rid our population of another hearty soul. I hoped that even a murderer wouldn't be that cruel. I know that sounds irrational, but I never think clearly just after waking up. I did wonder if murderers were going out of town to do their dastardly deeds. Instead of collecting the daily and weekly newspapers from surrounding counties, I quickly dismissed that thought, and tried to think happy thoughts about retirement.
One morning I woke up and realized that working was almost over for Lou and me. Less than a week left. I lay there, got an idea, and sprang from the bed, much easier than I could have done it mere months before. I hurried to the computer, Googled My Way, and sang along with Frank Sinatra. "And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain." Yes, in one way it was our final curtain. Oh, it will seem strange that I'll no longer be Lt. Dekker and Lou will no longer be Sgt. Murdock of the homicide division of the Hilldale Police Department. I'll merely be Cy, with no title, just like most people, and Lou will be Lou no matter where we go. It helped that Lou and I were able to ease into retirement, having semi-retired a couple of years ago, and only working when there was a murder to solve in Hilldale. And now that we know that we'll have a lot more time on our hands, we'll have to think of something to occupy that time. And as I said before, as much as both of us love to read, neither of us can envision reading all the time. We need to get our heads together and think of what we plan to do with the next segment of our lives. But first things first.
And now that the time has come, we are able to pass the baton to Heather Ambrose, who along with her fiancé Dan Davis, will be taking over the homicide duties from Lou and me. The last few months, Lou and I have spent time training them, and each time we saw one of them get a little discouraged we let both of them know that we will be available if they need help. Only a few days earlier both Dan and Heather were promoted to the rank of Sergeant, and Lou and I were excited to be there when they heard the good news. And Dan and Heather will do it their way, not our way, and Lou and I are okay with that. Since we spent most of three months training them, I expected someone, in a weak moment, would have flown off the handle and murdered someone, but it didn't happen. While neither Lou nor I are close to the age where many people retire, we could see ourselves getting older and a little slower, and so, after talking it over one day and thinking and praying about it for a few more days, we decided to bite the bullet, instead of continuing to shoot it. Actually, in all of our years in homicide I'd never had to draw my gun. I almost did the time Lou threatened to fix me up with a woman some people called the ugliest woman in six counties, but I let him off the hook when I remembered he had done some good things for me over the years, too.
+++
But the end was near. After being a cop for over thirty years, most of that time in homicide, it really didn't hit me that we were going to officially retire until they threw a surprise retirement party/roast for us.
2
Neither of us saw it coming. No one told us they would be sorry to see us go or made any comment about the two of us retiring. The night of the roast someone came to my house while someone else went to Lou's apartment. I remember hearing the siren, which seemed to be getting closer and closer each second. I ran to the door, opened it and saw a cruiser approaching with its siren blasting and its lights flashing. I wondered if something had happened to my next-door neighbor, but discarded that thought when the officer stopped in front of my house and came rushing up to my door. It was a guy I knew, but seldom saw. He approached me straight faced and told me to cooperate. I knew then it must have been someone's idea of a retirement celebration, or a joke instigated by my good friend Lt. George Michaelson, maybe in conjunction with another friend, Frank Harris, the medical examiner. I was sure that at the same time I was being accosted another officer had descended upon Lou's apartment. I knew that the older ladies who lived in Lou's building wondered what he had done to be arrested. They took us in separately, each in the back of a police car, blindfolded, and in handcuffs. While we were still blindfolded, they escorted us inside of a building and helped us into a couple of seats. They removed our handcuffs, but told us under no circumstances were we to remove our blindfold until we were told to do so. The laughter as we entered the room told me that a lot of people were having fun at our expense, and I was sure I knew who most of them were. They even brought in a couple of women to sit on our laps and kiss us. I didn't know what to think when someone I was sure was a woman sat down on my lap, put her hand around my neck, pulled me toward her, and planted a lingering kiss on my lips. I had to say that I enjoyed it, even though I didn't recognize the lips. From what I could tell from the continuing laughter in the room, whoever kissed me then got up and did the same to Lou. There was a pause for a couple of minutes, and then a second woman sat down in my lap. This one appeared to be on a mission, that of besting my first kisser. She even ran her fingers through my hair. This time I was sure that Lou had a lap sitter at the same time I did. Luckily, both of us recognized our second kisser. Our girlfriends. We found out later that the first kisser for both of us was the other woman in our lives, Heather. And when that night was over, neither Lou nor I told Thelma Lou or Jennifer that Heather was a good kisser, too.
Once all the kissing was over and our girlfriends had taken their seats in the audience, they removed our blindfolds and everyone roasted us. That included the Chief, George, Frank, Dan, and Heather, although both Dan and Heather were too nice to say anything bad about either of us. Some of the others weren't so nice. Before they began, they read us our rights and told us we had the right to remain silent. The Chief pointed out that they would save money with us gone, because they would need to hire only one person part-time, after school, to do the work we had done for the last thirty plus years. And George was quick to point out that we were never able to solve a case without his help, and that I drive something that looks like a character out of Pac Man game. He called my yellow VW bug Tweetie, even though he has always known that my mode of transportation goes by the name of Lightning. Frank Harris thanked God that we wouldn't be bringing him any more bodies, and mentioned that a couple of the ones we had brought him actually looked worse than Lou and I, and that another body we sent actually got up and walked out halfway through the autopsy. Those roasting us went on for what seemed like days.
When everything seemed to be at an end, George returned to the microphone and answered the question that I had contemplated with Lou the day before. What do we do after retirement?
“Cy and Lou, as you know, when someone retires from most companies, they are given a watch or a fishing pole to commemorate the occasion. We discussed this among ourselves and someone brought up the fact that neither of you ever have learned how to tell time, which might have had something to do with the fact that most of us had put in a full day before you got through eating your breakfast. And we were reminded that neither of you were mechanically-minded enough to use even the most primitive of fishing poles. But we felt like we needed to get you something, so you wouldn’t try to get your jobs back. We also wanted to make sure that for at least a short time that you wouldn’t be down at the station or following one of our cars around in that roller skate you drive, so we felt like we needed to get rid of you some way, and we arrived at a plan. For years, the chief has owned a time-share at Westgate Resort, down in Gatlinburg, and has thoroughly enjoyed his week there each year. When we asked him about sending the two of you there, he said that was fine as long as you weren’t there the same week he was. But we weren’t sure that either of you were capable of driving that far without getting lost, so, when we found out that tour groups sometimes stay at Westgate, we booked you for one of those tours. When you go somewhere with a tour group, someone plans the trip for you, saving you that responsibility. We bought you a week at Westgate. You will ride down with a group of people who don’t know you, and they will be a part of your week-long tour. I’ve heard that even old people are capable of taking one of these trips, so we took a step of faith and signed the two of you up for one that leaves the last of this month. Naturally, you will go as Cy and Lou, not Lieutenant and Sergeant anybody, and we hope that when you go you will not divulge to those other old people on the trip that you ever worked for the Hilldale Police Department, unless you tell them you were the custodians. If you don’t get stuck in your room, or eaten by a bear, I’m sure the two of you will have a good time and be out of our hair for a few days. If, when you return, if you do return, and once again we are seeing too much of you, we will do what we can to arrange another trip, maybe one that involves space travel. We hope you enjoy your trip, and we are contemplating planting a spy on board the bus, just in case we feel the need to arrange the second trip before the first one is over. Also, to bring the two of you into the modern age, we are giving both of you cell phones. We've arranged for someone to come by each day for the next two years in order to teach you how to make a call, text, and take photos. We are also footing the bill for the first year. Besides that we are giving each of you a laptop computer, but you are on your own when it comes to learning how to use one.”
Evidently no one at the department had learned that Lou and I had finally broken down and bought computers. I got one first, and when Lou found out that I had learned how to use one, he bought one, too. I even volunteered Mark, my yard boy and computer expert, to get Lou up to speed.
Finally, George shut up and it was our turn to talk. Lou told the crowd that we would be moving away to a much safer community, and I said that until that time Lou and I would be available for $1,000 an hour, in case they had to deal with anything more criminal than a jaywalker. Lou even threw a jab in about me. Said the reason I ended up a lieutenant and he was only a sergeant was because they were punishing him because he went to college for a year, while I headed to the department fresh out of high school.
That night they gave us all kinds of pamphlets telling about the area where they were sending us, and an itinerary telling about what we would be doing when we were on our trip. George pointed out that the bus would be pulling out of a Lexington motel parking lot around 6:00 a.m., which George knew wa
s well before I arose on any other morning other than Easter Sunday, or if someone got murdered in the middle of the night, which had happened only one time in our burg.
+++
The slaps on the back ended just before 9:00. Lou and I were surprised to get such nice retirement gifts. Before we left the wake that night, Lou and I got together and agreed that when we got home we would look over all the stuff they had given us. We planned to talk about it the next morning after I picked him up as we headed for breakfast, and before we headed back home to do nothing.
3
I went home that night and pulled out the large envelope containing everything that George had given us. If I could manage it, I planned to lean back in my recliner and peruse one item at a time. If I kept dropping things planted in my lap, I’d move to the dining room table. I knew I was going to be a little uncomfortable actually taking a vacation, but I wanted to be comfortable dreaming about it. I wondered what taking a trip on a bus with a bunch of other people would be like. I’d heard talk. Some people said they could be a lot of fun, while others said you have to get up way too early and do a few things you would have skipped if you were the one planning the trip. The way I looked at it, it was only a week. Of course a week is a short time if you are enjoying what you are doing, but a long time if you are not. I hoped none of the guys would smell too bad and none of the old biddies would hit on Lou and me. At least it wouldn't be like Facebook, where everyone puts up a photo that is at least twenty years old or has had someone Photoshop it for them. I would know what the women actually looked like. But regardless of that, I wasn't interested in any of them. Just the one I would be leaving behind. Too bad she couldn't go with me, but the trip was meant to be a retirement trip just for Lou and me. Jennifer and Thelma Lou would still be here when Lou and I returned. The irony of it all was that Jennifer had just moved to Hilldale to be near her cousin, Thelma Lou, and me, her love interest, who would be retiring and have more time to spend with her.
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