25
"Cy, I forgot to tell you about my clue of the day earlier, because I thought it might unnerve you. Since you are already unnerved, I will share it with you now. It was heart attack."
"Are you trying to tell me that Earl wasn't murdered?"
"No, I'm just sharing today's clue with you."
"Well, I think I've learned its meaning. Dollywood might call that ride Thunderhead, but I think Heart Attack Waiting to Happen is more appropriate."
"Cy, just in case your first rollercoaster ride turns out to be your last, can I have your house?"
"I knew it. I knew you've always had eyes for my next-door neighbor. I guess you can have the house, but I'm leaving Lightning to Mrs. E. No one else would appreciate her."
"You don't think Jennifer would appreciate her?
"Yeah, but it might make her sad to drive it. She might think of me and cry."
"But it might make Mrs. E think of you and cry, too. Just think of all the money she will be losing out on with you not there to buy a new stash of books every few weeks. I'll tell you what I'll do. If it turns out that the rollercoaster was your last ride, I'll make Mrs. E feel better by buying a second copy of each book I buy. And if you like, I'll even scatter your ashes throughout the pages. Too bad you didn't keel over when there would have been more ashes to scatter."
"Lou, remind me when I get home to find a new best friend."
We both laughed, patted each other on the back, and headed off to see where we would make our next memories.
We didn't know what we would do next, but we knew what we weren't going to do. God didn't intend for someone to ride two rollercoasters in a row, so we looked for something where we didn't move. We had two non-moving choices, to eat, or to take in another show. In times past, it would have been a no-brainer, but we had changed, and so we took in another show. Of course in times past we wouldn't have been able to ride the coasters because only people who weigh less than 270 pounds will fit on those rides. After losing a lot of weight, we didn't even rub against the restraining bar. Little did I know that the first rollercoaster we rode was the tamest. If Lou had had a free hand when we rode the Tennessee Tornado, he would have made out his will. We made so many loops that we needed to sit for a minute when we came to a stop. I think they cut us some slack because we had thirty or more years on most of the crowd. But the Mystery Mine, where we took a ninety-five degree drop in the dark, and were thrown every way imaginable, was the ride where we said enough was enough.
After that the most dangerous thing we did was get soaked. We rode something much tamer, where machines were programmed to shoot water in our direction. Well, part of them shot water. One of them dumped water on us, and the other people in our round tub. I'm not sure we were totally dry when we left for the day.
I wish someone had been along to take pictures of us on the coasters. I only knew that if either of us had tried to take a selfie, there would be a good chance that that dumb and brave soul would have had to go to the nearest store and buy a new phone to replace the one he had dropped. All I knew was that no one at home would believe that Lou and I had actually done this. I know George would have to be convinced that Lou and I mounted the horses on the carousel, which we did, even though we didn't do so gracefully. But a few months earlier I didn't think I could have lifted my leg higher than the horse's hoof.
In between death defying feats I looked around to see if I saw any of our group, and if so to see if any of them looked like they were in peril or about to decrease the population. From time to time we saw some of them, but the ones we saw were the less violent type, who nodded to us in recognition as they passed.
By the time we arrived at Mellow Mushroom, my blood pressure was approaching normal again. However, I didn't know about Earl's or Miss Friendly's blood pressure, because neither had rejoined our group.
Several of us were seated at a large table at Mellow Mushroom, and all of the conversation was on Dollywood and what each of us had done. Lou and I became heroes to most of our traveling companions because we were the only ones in the group who had tackled three coasters. The two kids in particular held us in high esteem, and the little boy told his mother than they were coming back next year, when he should be tall enough to ride any ride in the park. One guy did steal part of our thunder before dinner was over, because he was the only one in our group to zip line at the park. The ones who admitted to doing nothing more challenging than ride the train and the Ferris wheel were roundly booed. It looked like we were bonding. Snidely Whiplash and Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale didn't appear to be at our table. I was sure that our murderer was elsewhere. Was it one of our group who decided to eat at a smaller table, maybe by himself or herself, or with only one other person? Or could it be the two guys in suits with sunglasses, or the shifty-looking man with a limp? Or could it be that Earl or Miss Friendly was in hiding, with plans to pick off our group one at a time?
26
Before I went to bed on Monday night I thanked God for providing a vacation for us and letting us live through the first part of it, and I told Him I'd be willing to try another one after I got home and rested up from this one.
I knew that Tuesday was a free day for us. That meant I could sleep late, and if Lou would let me I would also do a little sleuthing. I didn't care for Miss Friendly, but I didn't want her dead. I still thought of her as Miss Friendly. I just couldn't think of her as Agnes Trueblood. I just hoped that none of Agnes's true blood had escaped from her body, but with her gone from us for this long I feared the worst.
And then I remembered that Earl was missing, too. Had something happened to him? Or had he murdered Miss Friendly and then ran away? Or could someone have murdered both of them? And then I remember Inez, who was missing for a while, but then turned up. Could it be that both Earl and Miss Friendly had gone somewhere other than where they were expected to be and would turn up eventually?
+++
Lou and I had debated whether to eat breakfast on Tuesday morning at Westgate or to take the trolley to Gatlinburg and eat at the Pancake Pantry. We would be eating breakfast at Westgate on Wednesday, the Pancake Pantry on Thursday, and Westgate again on Friday before checking out of the resort, and checking out some more of Pigeon Forge before heading back to Lexington, and ultimately home to Hilldale. It appeared to be an every other day thing with breakfast, so to adhere to that progression, we agreed to go to Gatlinburg at least for breakfast, and maybe stay until noon or so, depending upon where we ate lunch.
+++
I was up by 7:30 on Tuesday morning, so I didn't sleep as late as I thought I might. Both Lou and I knew that he always got up before I did, so when I was ready to go all I needed to do was go ring his bell. But after I went to bed Monday night, I got an idea. After I showered and spent some time with God on Tuesday morning, I took advantage of something Mark, my yard boy, had taught me. Well, I still needed to follow what he had written on the paper, but I was proud of what I had accomplished. In a few minutes time I had e-mailed a few more pictures to George, Frank, Heather, Dan, and Jennifer. I included Lou in his coonskin cap and me in my cowboy hat from Dixie Stampede, a shot of our food at the Pancake Pantry from a few days before, and a picture of Lou in line, waiting on Thunderhead at Dollywood. I neglected to send a picture of a palefaced Lou, who looked on the verge of death after stumbling from any of the coasters.
As we walked down to catch the shuttle that would take us to the trolley at the front gate, I looked over and spied a goddess in a yellow bikini rising up out of the water. It was my Ursula Andress Dr. No. moment. She looked over at us and smiled. Somehow I managed to open my mouth and say my words correctly.
"Isn't the water still a little cold?"
"That's why I come down here so early. It's better than coffee for waking me up in the morning."
I wanted something like that to wake me up in the morning too, and my wake-up moment didn't have anything to do with cold water.
"A friend of mine want
ed me to capture some pictures of wildlife in the area. Mind if I take yours?"
"I'd be delighted. Although I'm from Alabama, by way of Georgia."
"That's okay. He didn't specify that the wildlife had to be indigenous to Tennessee."
She laughed, then made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
"After you take one of me all by my lonesome, how about if your friend takes one of you and me together?"
I almost tripped over Lou, hurrying over to her.
"Now smile, and say I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille."
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Just stand there and don't pay any attention to the water dripping all over the concrete."
After Lou took a picture of the two of us together, I asked him if he would like for me to take a picture of him with Miss Perfect Body. He declined, said it would be better if only one of us had to do some explaining.
After the photo session was over I shook her hand, told her that I was now awake whether she was or not, and hurried off with Lou. While we waited on the trolley, I sent the picture off to George, with a text that said I wasn't afraid to get close to the wildlife. I also sent it to Frank, with a caption that said, "I'm finally sending you a body that you will appreciate, and as you can see, this body isn't dead."
As we rode the trolley to breakfast, the replies started coming in. George began with, "You mean there are two guys down there who are as ugly as the two of you," and followed that up with, "I know you didn't ride that thing," and "How many murders have you solved since you got there?" Then a minute later, after he received the picture with me and the bathing beauty, he asked me where I got the beauty and the beast photo, and if I had sent Jennifer a copy. Frank replied that one of the two bodies in the picture definitely wasn't dead, but the other one might be if a certain someone sees the picture.
Heather's reply was next. She said, "The only reason I'm marrying Dan is that I couldn't decide which of the two of you I wanted," while Jennifer's was short and sweet. "I miss you. I love you. I hope you're having a good time."
I told Lou what I'd done and showed him George's two replies, and then Frank's reply to the last picture taken. He laughed. I didn't show him the other two. I knew that Heather said what she said so as not to hurt Lou's feelings, because I knew she loved me more, and if I showed him Jennifer's mushy stuff he would kid me the rest of the day.
27
I was beginning to learn about Gatlinburg. At least a little bit of it. I knew nothing about any place other than the two main streets, but then neither do most people who come here on vacation unless they are staying somewhere in the nether regions. At any rate, when we got off the trolley, I didn't even have to gather my bearings before taking off toward the line at the Pancake Pantry. It was fairly early by vacationers standards, so there wasn't anyone around except for those inside the Pancake Pantry and those of us waiting to get in. No murderers lurking across the street, leaning up against a storefront, sharpening their knives on the building's surface. No one limping along, trying their best to be inconspicuous. No one in suits, with or without sunglasses. And if there were any victims already that morning, the street sweeper had already removed them.
The sun was up. It wasn't too hot. A gentle breeze blew. And I turned to Lou.
"This is the life, isn't it?"
"I think I can get used to it. Too bad we didn't find out about this place sooner."
"Maybe if the murderers in Hilldale had felt better about their fellow man we might have retired earlier and headed in this direction."
"And been solving murders in Gatlinburg."
"No, Cy, we would have been retired then, too. Besides, if we hadn't solved so many murders maybe the guys back home wouldn't have been as eager to dip into their deep pockets and send us on this trip."
By this time we had neared the door. When someone opened it and the smell of breakfast wafted through the air I forgot all about murders or anything taking place in Hilldale, past or present.
A couple of minutes later we were seated. This time we had a table in the center of the restaurant. Not that it mattered. From what I could tell, the Pancake Pantry served the same food to every table in the restaurant. It was time to take a look at the menu. I'd already sampled the crepes and would do so again before we left for home, so I ordered a veggie omelet and an order of bacon. Lou ordered something called Marvelous Blintz. I let him cut off part of my omelet and I took a couple of bites of his sweet treat. I wondered if I could buy stock in the Pancake Pantry.
I was so engrossed in what we were eating that I neglected to look around the restaurant until I was most of the way through my meal. The place had filled up with some familiar faces. None of whom I was happy to see. Jack and Angel had a table on one side of the restaurant, underneath the upstairs restrooms. As Jack looked our way he picked up his knife, slid it across his fork, and smiled a sinister smile. I only wished I had brought my gun with me, so I could have shown it to him. But then I envisioned doing so and having five servers holler "gun" and spring toward me and knock all of our food off the table. Well, what was left of it.
I scanned the room, continuing to take roll. I noticed a guy seated near the front window who looked a lot like our limping friend. He wasn't looking at us, but he was interested in someone. I followed the path his eyes took and ended up focused on two guys in sunglasses. While they looked like our two guys, I wasn't sure because both men were wearing T-shirts that looked like they had purchased them at one of the Gatlinburg shops. I wanted to confront the first guy and ask him to walk for me. I wanted to show the two guys in sunglasses the pictures I took and asked them if they looked familiar. But my thoughts were interrupted when our server came over to check on us. I switched off my detective mind that Lou was growing impatient with and tuned in retired man on vacation.
"Is there anything else I can get you?"
"Not right now, but I have a question."
"What's your question?"
"I was wondering if you deliver to Hilldale, Kentucky."
She laughed.
"You're not the first one to ask if we deliver to other states. I think this place is at least a part of the reason people keep coming back to Gatlinburg."
"Well, this is our first trip here. We plan to come back and bring our lady friends sometime, and the Pancake Pantry will be part of the reason we'll be coming back."
"All of us appreciate people like you. It's why we've stayed in business all these years."
She excused herself to go replenish the coffee cups on one of her other tables.
As soon as she was gone I remembered what thoughts she had interrupted. I looked to the front window but my limping friend was gone. I turned back to look for the guys in sunglasses. They were just getting up from their table. On their way to the front counter to pay their bill one of them paused at our table and said, "My friend cheats at miniature golf. Does yours?"
I coughed out an "absolutely" as he continued on his way.
I looked at Lou.
"They seem nice enough, Cy. But I'm not sure I'd want to play miniature golf with them."
I thought of following them, but I remembered that my mother had told me to always clean my plate, but not to eat fast. It didn't matter. When we walked out they were seated at one of the benches near the street. And the guy who might have walked with a limp was leaning against a building across the street, looking directly at us. It wasn't until then that I realized I had forgotten about whether or not Jack and Angel had left the restaurant. At least until I had more on our new friends I would put Jack and Angel higher on my suspect list than those other three. But then I've been wrong before. Of course I always am right in the end. I thought of going back inside to check on Jack and Angel, but I didn't hear any scream emanating from the confines, so I stayed where I was.
Lou and I decided to leave Gatlinburg behind, aware that we would be back again on Wednesday and Thursday. That would give us enough time to do anything else we wanted to do in th
is Tennessee hamlet.
28
Lou and I knew we would be coming back into town on Wednesday and Thursday, so we walked around for a few minutes after breakfast. Then we walked downhill to the trolley stop and waited for the purple trolley. I didn't see Sylvia and Inez, or my new friend Brenda who had recently lost her husband.
We had plans Tuesday night, but our day was free. When we got back to Log Mansion Central I made a pretense of needing a nap, so Lou and I parted ways for a while. We knew that if one of us needed to get in touch with the other one and that one wasn't in his room, both of us were carrying cell phones, so we wouldn't have to send up a flare. A cell phone still seemed peculiar to me, but I guess I would get used to it.
I doubled back to the front desk, and since no one was checking in, I stepped up to the counter.
"How many I help you?"
"I'm Cy Dekker, a guest here, and I'm a retired homicide detective."
I took out my credentials and showed them to her. She pretended to be impressed, since I was a guest there.
"One of our party, Agnes Trueblood, has been missing, and I reported it to someone in housekeeping the other day. She promised to tell security about it. I was wondering if the woman has been located."
Murder in Gatlinburg Page 11