by J. H. Croix
Marley grinned, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “You wanted to change the subject, so I did.” She paused to put a bite-sized piece of Holly’s grilled cheese sandwich back on its plate. Holly promptly grabbed it and stuffed the tiny piece in her mouth. “So, back to Quinn. He doesn’t seem to be staying at the lodge, so I thought maybe you could tell me where he’s been. Gage said he saw him walking back on the trail that goes to your cabin this morning.”
Lacey rolled her eyes, trying to beat back the flush washing through her. It wasn’t just the twinge of embarrassment, but also the fact she could hardly think about Quinn without getting hot and bothered. “Fine. He might have stayed with me.” She’d told herself she didn’t care if anyone wondered what was up with them. In a way she didn’t, but she was rattled by how confused she was about her own feelings. If there was anyone she could talk to about it, Marley was that person. Lacey shoved down her embarrassment and looked at Marley. “I don’t know what’s up with us. Ever since he came back, it’s been…different. I’d rather not go into details, but let’s just say something happened. Now, I’m all freaked out because you know me, I don’t do relationships. I like to do my own thing. But Quinn’s my friend and now I’m worried we might have messed that up. I don’t know what he wants and… Ugh. I don’t know. I could use some advice.”
Marley cocked her head and smiled softly. “Something happening between you and Quinn doesn’t surprise me. I always thought he was the perfect guy for you. Have you talked at all?”
Lacey couldn’t quite bring herself to admit to Marley she’d been the one to push the envelope first that night in the hotel in Anchorage. His words echoed in her mind. “…there’s no way in hell I’m having a one off night with you…” She’d been too busy fumbling with her attraction to him at the moment that she hadn’t explored that further. Since then and especially since the other night when they’d gone far past a kiss, she kept replaying his words in her mind, wondering what he meant. On the surface, she knew what he meant, but she didn’t have the bigger picture. Did it mean he wanted more? Or just that he didn’t want to let sex get in the way of their friendship?
“Not really. Even worse than not knowing what he wants, I don’t know what I want. I don’t have much experience with relationships. Well, I don’t do them. I thought maybe you’d have some ideas because, well, you have more experience in this area than I do.”
Marley’s eyes widened. “Um, aside from Gage, I’m not exactly an expert. All I did for ten years after college was work and date once in a blue moon. But, I do know you won’t figure out anything without talking about it. Quinn’s a great guy. It’s not like he’s going to be a jerk about it. If my guess is right, he’s had a thing for you for years.”
“What?!”
Marley grinned widely. “Uh huh. I’m not blind, but you are. I never said anything because you didn’t seem to think of him any way other than as a friend.”
Lacey was reeling from Marley’s lighthearted observation, which must have showed on her face because Marley’s grin faded as she shook her head. “So you never noticed Quinn might have wanted something more than being your hiking buddy? Seriously?”
“Seriously. Why would you even think that?”
“Because of the way he looked at you. It wasn’t blatant, but it was always there. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think so. Now that you’ve actually let something happen, maybe you should ask him. I might not know him as well as you do, but I know he doesn’t like to lie. He was not pleased with having to cover for you when I asked if something happened when you were in Katmai.”
Lacey took another bite of her salmon burger, thoughts tumbling through her mind. If Quinn had been into her all these years, how could she have missed it? Marley, being her usual perceptive self, read Lacey’s mind.
“You’re wondering how you didn’t notice. It’s because you just don’t pay attention to men. You’re every guy’s friend, but you don’t think about men as anything other than friends. Not that it’s my business, but you’re so tough, it’s like you can’t let yourself be anything else. I love how badass you are, so don’t go thinking you need to change, but it wouldn’t hurt to broaden your horizons. If something could really be there for you and Quinn, you couldn’t find a better guy. He’s not intimidated by your badassery, he could care less that you might be better than him at a few things, and he’s just an all around good guy. On top of all that, now he’s officially moving here,” Marley said with a firm nod, her eyes twinkling.
Lacey, still trying to absorb the idea she’d somehow missed Quinn’s attraction to her sooner, finished off her salmon burger and leaned back in her chair. “Okay, whether or not Quinn’s had a thing for me all this time, you still haven’t given me any advice. What do I do now?”
Marley chuckled. “I think the only thing you can do is talk to him. Trust me, I know it’s not easy. Gage was the first guy I was ever really into and it’s pretty scary to care that much.” She paused and looked over at Lacey. “You also might want to try to figure out what you want. Do you want something more with him? Or just more great sex?”
A flush raced through Lacey, heating her neck and face again. “Did I say anything about great sex?” she asked with a roll of her eyes.
“You didn’t have to. I can tell,” Marley said with a sly grin.
Chapter 10
Quinn reached the top of the slope and paused to catch his breath beside a small ski hut, likely used for first aid and sundry needs up on the mountain during winter. He put his hands on his hips and turned in a slow circle. Last Frontier Lodge was situated at the base of the tallest peak in the area, offering a three hundred and sixty degree view. He scanned the nearby peaks and spun around to see Kachemak Bay in the distance. Two volcanoes were visible as well. Mount Augustine stood closer in the waters of Cook Inlet, the ocean inlet that led from the Pacific Ocean inland into Alaska and fed several small bays. Mount Illiamna was further in the distance. Mount Augustine was known for its occasional eruptions, spewing ash all over Southcentral Alaska and disrupting flights.
Quinn had once joined a biologist friend for a trip to Mount Augustine. He’d been in awe of how it felt to be on a volcano in the middle of the ocean. He turned to face the lodge again where it sat at the base of the slopes. After waking up beside Lacey this morning and being forced to call upon every ounce of discipline he had not to roll atop her and sink inside, he’d run some errands and sought to put himself through a grueling run straight uphill to burn off his restless energy.
This thing with Lacey was nagging at him. He was starting to question if it had been wise to give in to his desire for her. She meant too much and he wanted her too much. He didn’t have a sense of what she wanted from him, but he knew exactly what he wanted from her. She was the real deal for him, and he marveled at the fact he’d managed to bury his longing for so long. If it hadn’t been for the geographic distance between them, he doubted he’d have managed it. Now though, he was facing the real possibility that he’d let the gates loose on his needs and wants—and she might not feel anything close to the way he felt.
To further complicate matters, the looming worry about her health amplified his feelings. His initial draw to her was bolstered by her intense strength and bravado. It was strange to see her in any way other than that, yet he felt intensely protective of her now. He had to be careful. Lacey was the single most independent woman he knew. He’d sensed this morning she needed space, so he gave it to her even though what he wanted was to wrap her in his arms and tell her to stop worrying. Of all the possible diagnoses to get, MS drove at the heart of what Lacey valued—strength and being able to conquer any situation.
While he knew quite well many people lived healthy and active lives with MS, if Lacey continued in that direction with her symptoms, he knew it would drive her batshit crazy to have to monitor herself and manage medications to prevent relapses. He wanted to rush her past the worry and fear of the unknown when he knew she wouldn’t
like that. Not one bit. With a shake of his head, he spun in another slow circle. The air was bracing today, autumn blowing away in the early winter winds. Snow had fallen again last night and patches of it remained where trees cast shade on the ground. He heard motion behind him and turned to see Gage running steadily up to meet him, barely appearing winded by the challenging slope.
Gage reached his side and slowed to a walk. His breath misted in the chilly air. “See you found my favorite run,” Gage said by way of greeting.
Quinn grinned. “Sure did. I needed something to wear me out, and I figured running straight up the advanced slope might do it.”
Gage chuckled and spun in the same circle Quinn had. “It will. I run it every day I can until it’s too snowy. Can’t beat the view either.”
“Definitely not.”
Gage circled back around to face Quinn. “I heard congratulations were in order,” Gage commented. “Rumor has it you’ll be the new doctor at Coastal Medical Clinic.”
“Rumor has it right. I’m looking forward to it. Diamond Creek’s always been one of my favorite places in Alaska.”
Gage nodded. Quinn sensed Gage had something on his mind, but he didn’t know Gage well enough to guess at it. Gage stared out toward the bay. “Marley had lunch with Lacey today.”
Uncertain where this point was meant to go, Quinn merely nodded.
Gage looked away from the bay and over to him. “Marley’ll probably let you know herself, but thanks for helping Lacey with what happened in Katmai and yesterday. I’m guessing you know damn well Lacey’s not one to ask for help too often.”
Quinn smiled ruefully, his heart squeezing to consider what it meant that she had actually asked him for help. “Don’t I know it. She didn’t really ask for help in Katmai, but she put up with it. I’m damn relieved she finally filled Marley in.”
“Right. They’re close, but Lacey’s the tough one. You might want to be prepared for Marley to grill you about what’s going on. She’s worried Lacey might not tell her everything.”
Quinn sighed and leaned his head back to stare at the sky before looking back to Gage. “I’m not sure how much more I can offer. The ‘might have’ MS part is true. No decent doctor should diagnosis it this early. It might be an isolated episode. We won’t know until some time passes where she doesn’t have any symptoms. I’d be glad to talk to Marley, but my guess is she’s going to worry no matter what. Just like Lacey.”
Gage laughed softly. “True. Anyway, I’m glad you happened to be with her. If you hadn’t been, I’m not so sure she’d have bothered to see a doctor.”
Quinn chuckled. “Probably not.”
Gage was quiet for another few beats before he glanced to Quinn, a gleam in his eyes. “Race you down.”
Quinn flicked his eyes from Gage and down the slope. “You’re on!”
At that, they took off, both zigzagging their way down to the lodge. They arrived at the bottom almost in tandem. Gage slowed and circled in front of the sprawling deck behind the lodge. “Think we’ll have to call it a tie. You ski much?” he asked between heaves of breath.
“Absolutely! Can’t wait for the snow to fly and put some time in on the slopes here.”
Gage flashed a grin just as someone called his name. Quinn glanced in the direction of the voice to see Don Peters, an older man whom Gage had introduced as his right-hand man for the lodge. Quinn had met him the other night. He lifted a hand in a wave as Gage turned to him.
“Gotta go. Maybe we’ll see you at dinner tonight?”
Quinn nodded. “I’ll plan on it. Catch you later.”
Lacey shook her head and laughed when Garrett played a card with flourish. Sitting beside Lacey, Delia rolled her eyes. “He’s like a little kid when it comes to playing cards.”
Cam, the ski instructor at the lodge who had recently swept Ginger off her feet, glanced over from the table he shared with Garrett and Gage. “Only when he’s playing with Gage. He behaves like a normal person otherwise,” Cam offered with a grin.
They were in the midst of a slow dinner at the lodge restaurant. Ginger slipped into a chair across from Lacey. “Cam likes to act like he’s above it all, but every once in a while, he’s as bad as the rest of them.” She looked to Lacey. “Good to see you tonight. Are you done with your trips for the winter?”
Lacey nodded. “That was my last one. I have some winter trips booked, but I’m not leading any myself.”
Ginger was Marley’s best childhood friend and usually sly and blunt. She didn’t have that edge at the moment, which made Lacey wonder if Marley had mentioned any of their conversation to her. Lacey hadn’t asked Marley to keep it to herself. While she knew Marley would have respected her privacy, their social circle was too small to keep much hidden for long. Ginger brushed her shiny brown hair behind her shoulders and leaned forward to pour some wine. “Well, that’s a relief. I don’t know how you did it to begin with. I love the outdoors, but it’s plain miserable to try to sleep outside in the winter.”
Lacey heard Quinn’s low chuckle beside her and couldn’t help the shiver that raced through her. Another casual evening with him nearby was stirring her up inside. It was almost ridiculous the way she buzzed to life inside with him anywhere in the vicinity. Every time she looked his way, it was as if the air around them was infused with electricity.
Ginger’s eyes flicked from Lacey to Quinn. “Laugh all you want. I spent one night winter camping and that was enough.”
Quinn’s grin flashed. “It’s not so bad if you have the right gear. But, I’ll be the first to agree that a long day outside in the winter is best if you’re in front of a fire inside at the end of it.”
Conversation carried on around Lacey with Ginger grilling Quinn about taking the job in Diamond Creek. Lacey relaxed into her chair and laughed with Delia when Garrett triumphantly won the latest card game. Her eyes kept traveling to Quinn again and again, prompting Delia to comment under her breath.
“I don’t know if you wanted everyone to notice you’ve totally got the hots for Quinn, but you might want to try not to be so obvious if you didn’t,” Delia said with a soft laugh.
Lacey glanced away from Quinn to Delia on her other side, feeling her cheeks heat. She finally shrugged. She might be slightly embarrassed, but she wasn’t so sure she could hide her attraction and didn’t know if she wanted to try.
Delia arched a brow and smiled slowly. “Well then.”
Before Lacey could say anything further, they were interrupted by Garrett who came to Delia’s side and glanced down. “We’ve gotta go pick Nick up from basketball practice.”
Delia glanced at her watch and stood up quickly. “Oh right! Let’s go.” She squeezed Lacey’s shoulder. “I expect an update soon,” she said with a sly grin.
With their departure, the group gradually filtered apart until only Lacey and Quinn were left at the table. It wasn’t particularly late, and the lodge restaurant was still close to full. With the clink of silverware and glasses in the background, Lacey’s awareness of Quinn notched higher. Unlike the other evening, she wasn’t sandwiched against his side in the booth since they were seated at a table. Yet, the small distance between them somehow increased her body’s hyper-awareness of him. She physically yearned to be closer, the sensation so acute she had to consciously keep her hand from reaching over to touch him where he sat beside her.
In the midst of her mental and emotional struggle with what was going on with her, her once steady control had deserted her. While a part of her worried about just what she was doing with Quinn, much of her welcomed the tempestuous distraction he offered. She felt so alive when he was near, practically vibrating with need and grounded in the depth of her physical attraction to him. Maybe so, but you might be putting your heart on the line. That was the tiny voice inside that kept occasionally pointing out how she was flirting with disaster with Quinn. She kept swatting the voice into silence, just as she did now. She recalled Marley’s comment that she thought Quinn had a
thing for Lacey for years. She didn’t really know what a “thing” meant, but she knew she was curious. She also recalled Marley’s more somber point that Lacey should try to talk to Quinn about what he wanted. That wasn’t something she was quite ready to do. At the moment, she wanted nothing more than to dive into the passion shimmering around them.
She glanced to him. He was staring out the windows into the night. The moon was high above the mountains and bay tonight, not quite full, but casting a silvery glimmer across the water. He turned, his amber gaze colliding with hers. The dark desire she saw there sent the slow burn into her belly into a flash-fire. She opened her mouth to speak, but when her words failed her, she stood and grabbed his hand. He didn’t hesitate, rising quickly at her side. She started to turn away, practically dragging him behind her. When she encountered resistance, she glanced back.
He looked from the table, scattered with glasses and plates, to her. “Do we need to clean up? Or, I don’t know, pay the bill?” he asked with a grin.
“I have a monthly tab here, so don’t worry about that. As for clean up…” She paused and scanned the restaurant, looking for Harry Lawson. Second in command to Delia in the lodge restaurant, Harry ran the restaurant dining area while Delia managed the kitchen and everything else. Harry caught her eyes from across the restaurant. In seconds he was at her side. Tall, thin and dark, Harry moved with deceptive quickness, spinning through the restaurant at all hours to take care of whatever was needed.
“Yes?” he asked.
“We were just leaving, and there’s that,” Lacey explained, gesturing to the table.
Harry grinned, his dark eyes flashing. “Not to worry. We’ll take care of it. See you soon,” he said with a wave.