It read: Boardroom in 10 minutes. We have to deal with Mr King.
‘Did he say who this Mr King is?’
‘He just said that it was a customer feedback issue,’ she closed her folder. ‘Something to do with the original Berlin Twofer.’
Trent jogged back to the ShelfLife pod on the far side of the floor to find Gavin wearing his oversized red headphones, and Shanti explaining something to one of her team of young Singaporean coders. He waved his arms in the air to get his co-founders’ attention.
‘Guys. Is there something I should know about the Berlin Twofer?’ Trent glanced at his watch, then back at the meeting room. ‘Is that significant in some way?’
‘Not to me,’ shrugged Gavin, holding his headphones out from his ears.
‘C’mon, guys. Charles summoned me into a meeting with some guy called King. Does that mean something?’
‘If you’re referring to Matt King, the husband of the American woman we sent to Berlin to play dominatrix for a week who came home and set up her own dungeon, then accidentally took some skin off a judge’s nutsack and just got deported, then yeah, it probably means something.’ Shanti spun her monitor around so Trent could scan the news report. His brows migrated from furrowed to raised and his head started shaking from side to side.
‘We did this?’ asked Trent as he scrolled through the comments section. It seethed with moral outrage, pious indignation and barely concealed jealousy.
‘We haven’t been named yet, but it’s only a matter of time,’ said Shanti.
The sounds of heated argument erupted from the boardroom. The meerkats of the floor rose in unison.
Trent ran along the row of desks, wondering if this was another management test Charles had set for him. If so, Trent was determined to pass. He paused to knock on the door of the boardroom. It flew open and a well-built man in a dark blue suit walked out backwards, yelling, almost banging into Trent.
‘Your little startup fuckheads are going to pay for this bullshit, Chuck!’
‘Is there something I might be able to help you with?’ ventured Trent.
The man whipped around, coming nose to nose with Trent, looking to continue the fight. ‘And who the fuck are you?’
Trent held the man’s gaze. The office fell silent. Everyone pretended to be absorbed in their work.
‘Ah, Trent, glad you could join us.’ Charles ambled out of the boardroom, rolling up his sleeves in an exaggerated display of nonchalance. ‘It looks like you have another satisfied customer on your hands.’
‘I’m pretty fucking far from satisfied right now.’ The man’s gaze didn’t leave Trent’s.
‘I was referring to Lisa,’ Charles snorted.
The man grimaced and closed his eyes, before turning to face Charles. ‘One more wisecrack from you and I swear I am going to –’
‘Going to what, Matt? Take a swing at me?’ Charles gestured around the floor. ‘In an office full of people? In the middle of clean-living, law-abiding Singapore? Are you looking to get deported as well?’
The man took a step towards Charles.
Trent moved forward to place a hand on Matt’s shoulder, ‘I’m sure we can sort out this misunderstanding, Mr King.’
‘Take your hand off me, son. You’re about to make things a lot worse.’
Trent removed his hand and placed it in the air.
‘Don’t be afraid of this pillock, Trent,’ Charles sneered. ‘He’s not going to make anything worse. Except for himself.’
‘Your dirty little website is wrecking people’s lives.’ Matt thrust his thumb into his own chest. ‘I might lose my job. My wife’s about to be deported. The kids are freaking out.’
‘Why don’t we take a seat? I’ll call my co-founders in and we can find a solution together.’
‘I’m not interested in talking to you or to your fucking co-founders. Once the cops find out Lisa got the whole idea from one of your life-swap holidays, they’re going to shut you down so fast you’ll barely have time to catch a cab to Changi.’
‘The Singapore government is actually a backer of our not-so-little company, Matt,’ Charles folded his arms and rested them on his paunch. ‘They’re very excited by the number of people coming to our site wanting to change their lives. Though maybe not as dramatically as that little whip-cracker did.’
‘For fuck’s sake, Charles, that’s my wife you’re talking about.’
‘Oh come on, Matt. You’re not going to play the protective husband now, are you? You seemed pretty comfortable with the replacement wife the team arranged for you while Lisa was away.’
Matt balled his fists but let them drop. He turned back to Trent. ‘Watch out for this guy. He only knows how to win by making other people lose. Ask anyone who knows him. Been doing it since forever.’
Matt shook his head and walked out of the office. The muffled ding of the elevator rolled through the office, sending dozens of bespectacled faces back to their screens and keyboards.
‘And that, my friend, is how you deal with whingers. Now, let’s go for a drink, shall we?’
‘Fucking hell, Charles, this could look pretty bad for us. The story’s all over the local chat boards,’ said Trent just as Shanti and Gavin joined them. ‘Have we been named in any of the media reports?’
‘Nothing so far,’ said Shanti.
‘We need to fix that,’ Charles straightened his sleeves. ‘If we wait for the real journalists to find us, the story might blow over.’
‘Hang on, you want us to be associated with this mess?’ asked Trent, eyes widening.
‘Now’s not the time to play coy, Trent. Your investors are looking for scale. Oh, and they also want some changes to the management structure, get some more oversight and risk mitigation in place,’ Charles turned to Shanti. ‘Did you have a chat to that economics professor? What did you think? Is he ShelfLife material?’
‘Not even remotely. He has no idea how our business runs. Wanted to vet every life rental manually. There’s no way it could work,’ said Shanti.
‘I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to get him up to speed. Besides, it’s just for a few months. Put on a good show for the investors, make them think we know what we’re doing. When can he start?’
‘Wait a minute, Charles. You’re asking us to dive headfirst into a PR nightmare while also tightening our risk management profile? How’s that going to work?’
‘I don’t see how the two are mutually exclusive, Trent,’ Charles raised an eyebrow. ‘If you have doubts about your own capabilities, maybe we need to make some more significant management changes?’
‘I assure you it’s not a problem, Charles. I can manage the publicity,’ Trent raised his chin and straightened his jacket. ‘But I don’t think the prof is the answer to the risk issues. He’s on a massive salary package as an investment consultant to the co-op. Our cashflow can’t support a hire of that magnitude.’
‘Don’t worry about any of that, it’s all covered by their investment stake in ShelfLife. Just like all the designers and support staff we sent Gavin, and the little army of coders Shanti keeps chained to their desks. They’ll throw the professor in as well.’
‘He said his contract isn’t being renewed,’ said Shanti.
‘Is that so?’ Charles cocked his head, as if listening for something in the wind. ‘Well, then, if he’s being cut loose, it seems unwise for us to lash him to our mast.’
‘I thought you recommended him?’ said Shanti.
‘There’s no way that twerp is getting even a penny of our actual cash,’ said Charles. ‘Never mind. I’ll stay on the hunt for someone to provide some semblance of oversight. Someone the investors can believe in.’
‘We have an algorithm in place. It’s built on machine learning so it improves every time it evaluates a match. With the heavy traffic that’s coming to the site, the accuracy is constantly improving.’
‘Yes, well, your hacker tricks are all well and good, Shanti, but we need something more visi
ble. The investors aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed, they only understand what they can see,’ Charles adjusted his belt as he spoke. ‘The professor is hardly unique. I should be able to find another filth like him, kicking around for cents on the dollar.’
‘For the record, I never said he was rude or dirty,’ said Shanti. ‘Just arrogant.’
‘No, love, I said FILTH. As in the acronym: Failed In London Try Hong Kong,’ Charles gave the group a wink. ‘Asia’s full of western expats swanning around like they’re king shit, but if you got them back home in London or New York they’d be lucky to be tending bar. Whenever there’s a recession back home we get another wave of them coming out to the Orient to try their luck. Especially in all the “hot air” businesses. Commercial real estate, advertising, banking, that sort of thing.’
‘VC consulting?’ Shanti arched an eyebrow.
‘Watch yourself, young lady. You’re only half as clever as you think you are,’ Charles waggled a meaty forefinger at her. ‘Now, why don’t you get one of the new hires to post something about our dominatrix friend up on that “good neighbour” gossip site, eh? Me and the boys need to work out a strategy to leverage this press coverage into something useful.’
Shanti’s mouth fell open, but Trent cautioned her not to continue.
‘Right then lads, let’s get to the Elbow Room. Happy hour’s almost started, eh?’ Charles announced as he swaggered towards the lifts.
‘I can’t fucking believe this,’ spat Shanti.
‘I know, he can be a bit of a dick sometimes. I’ll have a talk with him, get him to tone it down.’
‘A bit!’ Shanti almost shouted. ‘Forgetting his nineteen fifties division of labour for just a second, this dominatrix thing is going to blow up. And not in a good way. I think we should put a lid on it. Gavin, back me up here.’
Gavin took his cap off and scratched his head with the brim, weighing up his options.
‘For fuck’s sake, Gav. Do you always need someone to tell you what to think?’ Shanti snapped.
Gavin’s expression hardened and he exhaled through his nose. Trent took the rising tension as his cue to step in.
‘Come on guys, this isn’t solving anything. Besides, I’m not sure there is a problem here,’ said Trent. ‘Think of it as an opportunity. One that we can capitalise on.’
‘Seriously?’ demanded Shanti.
‘I don’t think we’re exposed here. Charles doesn’t consider this Matt guy to be a significant risk and he’s asked us to work out how best to leverage this thing. I don’t want him thinking we don’t have the leadership skills to pull this off.’
‘Sound like you’re worried Charles will think you don’t have the skills,’ Shanti put her hands to her hips. ‘Have you considered that Charles is getting us to handle this so we take the blame if it all goes wrong?’
‘I don’t think that’s the game he’s playing, Shanti. Charles is on our team.’
‘At least let’s take Lisa’s review and Gretchen’s dominatrix profile down off the site for a while, okay?’ said Shanti.
‘That’s what I’m looking for. You’re making suggestions, you’re coming up with ideas, you’re being constructive in your criticism.’ Trent looked to his other partner. ‘Gavin, can you build on Shanti’s concept?’
‘Concept? Running away is a concept now?’ Gavin folded his arms and threw his shoulders back. He challenged Shanti with a sideways glare. ‘I didn’t come this far to stay on the sidelines. If the investors want scale, I say we give them what they want.’
‘Are you saying that just because I’m against it?’ asked Shanti.
Trent raised his palms. ‘Okay, let’s stay focused. We have a majority of management here who want to stir the pot, so let’s stir the pot.’
‘It’s a bad idea,’ said Shanti, but it was more complaint than protest.
‘Noted. I’ll talk to Charles, see if I can find out more about these management changes our investors want. Who’s coming?’
Now it was Shanti’s turn to fold her arms in protest.
‘I’ll take that as a no. Gav?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ Gavin looked at Shanti, who glared back. ‘What?’
‘I need those designs for the customer save pages.’
‘I did them this morning, they’re on the server.’
‘I can’t find them,’ said Shanti. ‘Trent, can you give me five minutes with Gavin? I promise I’ll be quick, then he can join your secret little boys’ club meeting.’
‘Thank you, Shanti. I appreciate your support,’ Trent was already heading for the exit. ‘Elbow Room. Cecil Street. OK, Gav?’
‘Sure,’ he turned to Shanti. ‘Do we have to do this right now?’
Shanti watched Trent disappear into the lifts, then grabbed Gavin by the wrist and led him to a quiet corner of the floor.
‘I don’t care about the designs, Gavin. I’m worried about Trent. Charles is playing some sort of game here and Trent is just going along with everything he says.’
‘Why wouldn’t we? He got us this far. He found the investors. Put us in the incubator. He’s just trying to help us grow ShelfLife, right?’
‘Haven’t you been paying attention to any of the meetings?’
‘Yeah, I have. We’ve got work to do on our revenue burn and the mezzanine cashflow looks tight, but otherwise the indicators are, y’know, indicating in the right direction. Aren’t they?’
Shanti reached up and placed a palm on his cheek. ‘Oh my god, you’re so adorable when you speak business language.’
Gavin’s heart leapt. ‘Am I?’
Shanti lifted her palm and struck him smartly on the face. ‘No.’
‘Fuck. That hurt, Shanti.’ Gavin rubbed his cheek as it reddened, only partly from the impact. ‘Why’d you do that?’
‘Because you can’t see what’s going on here. I’m working my butt off, Trent’s in ego-stroke la-la-land with all these keynote speaking gigs and pressers and parties and nightclubs that Charles is sending him to. Have you seen what his latest round of dilutions has done to our shareholding?’
‘I think I saw the email,’ said Gavin.
‘Our shares are down to ten per cent.’
‘But we aren’t even listed, yet. How can they be down that far?’
‘Not the value, you idiot, our stake. You and I now own ten percent of ShelfLife, each. Trent’s down to thirty and now Charles is sitting at twenty.’
‘Who’s got the rest?
‘I didn’t recognise the name, but it’s probably a holding company the Singapore government is using to fund the co-op that runs the incubator. All the stuff happening here, the neural net drones, the fractional ownership of domestic workers, our life rental platform, we’re all too experimental for them to be involved directly. So they hide their investment behind a stack of shelf companies, funds and incubator co-ops,’ Shanti looked around to make sure no-one was nearby. ‘Point is, when you put Charles and this government holding company together, they have the controlling stake in ShelfLife.’
‘How did that happen?’
‘Trent’s been trading points for all this space, all these people, the servers, the bandwidth, our apartment, all of it. So we’ve been steadily selling out to another partner, but their investment has not been in cash.’
‘You could say the same for us, I suppose,’ said Gavin. ‘We didn’t put in any cash for our stake.’
‘Yes, but we’re devoted to this thing full-time. Charles has got his fingers in almost every startup in Vertica. I’ll bet he’s also taking a commission from the Singaporeans for every deal he brings to them.’
‘Look, Shanti, are you sure you’re not just being paranoid? Trent keeps talking about how good this deal is, how he’s such a good negotiator,’ Gavin said. ‘He told me that we’ll always have a majority, as long as we stick together.’
‘I think Trent’s math assumes that Charles is on our side. By my calculations, that fat fuck is only in it for himself.’ She
tapped Gavin on the forehead. ‘Or can you not see that? Are you stoned or something?’
‘What? No. Are you kidding?’ Gavin pushed her finger away from his face. ‘In Singapore? You can’t even find that stuff here.’
Shanti rolled her eyes. ‘Jesus, Gavin, wake the fuck up. Charles’ friends have been passing around pills every time we’ve been out with them. I’m sure Trent has been getting on the party train with those guys on a regular basis.’
‘Why didn’t I get offered any?’ Gavin’s pitch rose with indignation.
‘Maybe they think you’re already dopey enough,’ she crossed her arms.
Gavin crumpled like an umbrella pointed the wrong way into a monsoon.
‘I’m sorry, Gavin,’ said Shanti as she reached for his shoulder. ‘They never offer any to me, either. They don’t talk to me that much at all. It’s like they’re trying to lure Trent away, isolate him from us.’
‘What does Trent say?’
‘I haven’t asked him. You’re the only person I can talk to about it.’
Gavin saw the worry in her eyes. Mainly, he just saw her eyes. They made him think of Austin.
‘What about your chakra chick back on Bali? I thought you told her everything.’
‘I had to cut her loose.’
‘How’d she take that?’
‘Amber? She’s a little intense. Doesn’t cope well with separation.’
‘Who does?’
Shanti stared at him a while as if making a decision. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m being paranoid. But I can’t help feeling something’s going on. It’s different from when we started out.’
‘You wanted it that way, remember.’
‘For god’s sake, Gavin, not every conversation we have is about us, OK? I like you, and we enjoy each other’s company but we don’t have time for anything more. We’ve got to focus. We need to talk about the business.’
‘I don’t want to talk about the business,’ Gavin thrust his hands in his pockets and looked out the window. ‘I want to know when we can talk about us.’
‘You make it sound so dramatic,’ Shanti let out a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. ‘Now’s not the best time.’
‘When is the best time?’
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