by Delisa Lynn
I walk into the house and decide to take a shower. What Gemma said keeps playing through my mind. Maybe I should just have sex and get it over with? Who else would be better to do that with other than my best guy friend?
After my shower, I decide to wear something sexier than my normal. I go through my entire closet and can’t find anything. I finally decide on a pair of denim capris with a light blue tank top. Hey, it’s better than my jeans, black polo, and apron. I blow-dry my long blonde hair. It’s straight as a board, so I normally curl it. I take out my large barrel iron and spend an hour making my head full of curls. I put a little mascara and lip gloss on and look at the clock, deciding I’ll call him and see when he will be ready.
“Hey, it’s me,” I say when he answers.
“I know, Hend, I have caller ID.”
“Whatever. When do you…umm…want to hang out?”
“I can pick you up now. I need to shower, but you can hang out in my room until I get ready.”
In his room? I would like to do more than hang out in there.
“Okay, I’ll meet you at the end of the holler.”
“Be there in five.”
Running down the stairs, I find my purse and leave Maw a note, stick it on the fridge, and lock up behind me. I make it to the meeting place and he’s already sitting there in his candy apple red Dodge Ram with the ram horns on the front. He’s sitting on the tailgate staring at me.
“Whoa, you have a hot date?” he jokes. “I know that hair and make-up isn’t for me, is it?”
“Crap. I knew this was a bad idea,” I say, not realizing I said it out loud. I hit my forehead with my palm and turn to go the other way.
Quaid hooks my arm. “Hey, where you going? You okay?”
“I don’t know. Fuck…” I groan.
“You just dropped the F-Bomb. This must be serious. Spill it, chick.” He crosses his arms and leans back, ready to listen.
“I’m still a virgin,” I blurt, “and I want you to be my first before you leave.”
“Hendlee, have you been drinking?”
“Heavens no. I’m being serious. I did all of this,” I motion toward my hair and outfit, “for you. I wanted to look pretty for you. And only you, Que.”
I could feel the blush spreading across my face. I just told my best friend I wanted him to have sex with me. I should have known this was going to be bad.
“Get in the truck, Hend. I’m not having sex with you.” He opens the door, waiting for me to climb in.
“Fine, suit yourself. If you don’t then I’m sure I’ll find someone else who will!” I cross my arms, and watch his face.
His eyes go wide and his jaw clenches. “I’m leaving soon,” he growls. “I can’t do that to you. I can’t have you over here waiting for me.” After a moment, he says, “You’re special, Hend. You aren’t like the others.”
Releasing the breath I was holding, I say, “Okay, let’s just hang out tonight. Please forget everything I said. I feel so awkward now.” I hoist myself into the truck. He thinks I’m special. Is that good or bad? I’m so lost when it comes to this stuff. Why are boys so damn confusing?
“I need a shower first. I’m sure I smell like horseshit.” Quaid chuckles. “Pop had me slinging that shit everywhere. He seems to think I can get all the work done before I leave. He’s going to have to find some more help, maybe Clive and Bryan can help. Maybe even Jason.”
“Yeah, you smell pretty bad,” I tease. He actually smells like my Que—sweet and manly. “I’m sure they will, when they can. Clive loves to be around all that crap.” I laugh at my own pun.
Chapter Three
She Has No Clue...
Quaid
She stole my heart the day she tripped and knocked my ice cream cone out of my hand. She’s always been clumsy. I’ve wanted to claim her for years, but the thing is, she wants to live here in this small blink-of-an-eye town. Me, I want to explore the world. See places I’ve dreamed of. Staying here was never in my plans.
Pushing my feelings to the back of my mind and in the corner of my heart, I deny Hendlee what she asks for. I cannot and will not crush her before I go.
“Did you know that for every shooting star a young couple falls in love?” Hendlee says. “I read it in a magazine a few weeks ago.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“It’s going to be really odd, ya know?” she says, leaning against my truck.
Pushing the stray hair out of her face, I whisper, “What is?” My mouth waters, wanting to taste hers. I lick my lips, coating them with my own saliva, wishing it was hers.
“Not seeing you every day. Not hearing your voice.” She turns her head and I see a tear slip down her cheek. “Not having your scent consume my mind. I think about you all the time. I’ve wanted you to be my first…everything.”
“Fuck,” I growl, resting my forehead against hers, my mouth secretly cursing me for not grazing hers. “Get in the damn truck. It’s getting late.”
I slam the door once she’s in. I can’t do this. I will not hurt her by making love to her then leaving her for God knows how long. I may never come back. I can’t just make love to her and then head off into the sunset like it meant nothing. Once I have her, I know things will never be the same.
We drive in complete silence. I flip the radio on so I can’t hear her soft cries. They are breaking me. I pull up in front of her house and Hendlee doesn’t even look at me. She opens the door and sprints toward her front porch, rushes through the door, then I see her bedroom light come on.
“Son of a bitch,” I say aloud, banging my fist on the steering wheel. I back my truck out of the driveway and onto the gravel road. It’s not even midnight yet. I snatch my phone out of the console and dial the number of the person I know can help me forget about my angel just for tonight.
***
Alison let me get lost in her, making me forget about hurting the one and only girl I’ll ever love. I’ve been fucking Alison for a few years now. She is a few years older and lives right outside of Benton. She knows it’s a no strings attached deal. Just plain fucking is what it is. I know that makes me sound like a dick, but I can’t be with the girl I want to be with, so why not?
When I get back home I park my truck and head into the house. Throwing my keys on the table next to the door, I hear a throat clear and look over to see my father sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer.
“Late night?” he asks.
“Yeah. I pissed Hendlee off and decided I would drive around a while,” I say half honestly.
“That girl loves you. You’re a blind bastard if you don’t see it.” He tosses his beer bottle in the trash. “Going to bed. Remember we have stuff to do before you go.”
“Yes, sir, I’m aware…of both cases. See you in the morning.”
He walks by me and places his hand on my shoulder. “I hope you’re doing the right thing by shutting her out. Sometimes life doesn’t give us second chances, and that girl wants you whether you can see it or not.”
I hope I am too. I have a feeling that I am going to regret that I have denied her what she wants. Hell, I want it just as much, if not more. I shower and wash all of Allison away, then crawl into bed and pull my pillow close to me. When I close my eyes all I see is Hendlee. Her smile, her laugh, her touch takes me into dreamland.
***
The scent of biscuits and my mom’s hamburger gravy engulfs me. Rolling over, I look at my phone and see that it’s nearly noon. I see I have a missed text from Hend.
Hendlee: Sorry about everything. I love you, and you mean so much to me. Please don’t hate me.
Shit, that was at nine o’clock this morning. I send her a quick text back.
Me: I could never hate you, I love you too.
Climbing out of bed, I pull a UK t-shirt over my head and head downstairs.
I reach for the orange juice and pour a glass full, then kiss my mom.
“Morning baby. I’m going to miss your handsome face ar
ound here,” my mother says, placing a kiss on my cheek.
I bite into one of the homemade buttermilk biscuits, the warm, buttery flavor hitting my taste buds. “I’ll miss you too, Mom.” I dip my biscuit in the bowl of gravy. “Mmm, and all of this food.” This woman can cook.
“Boy, sit down. Let me fix you a plate.” She piles a plate full of fried potatoes, gravy, biscuits, and scrambled eggs. “Now make sure you get a full stomach. Your father is going to put your tail to work today.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say, inhaling the aroma from my plate. “Have I ever told you that you are the greatest cook?”
And she is. I would rather have her cooking over a restaurant’s any day.
“Every day, son,” she laughs. “Every day.”
My dad walks into the kitchen and kisses my mom. “Morning, beautiful. Son, eat up. We have work to do. As late as it is now, we’ll be out on the ranch all day. Got a lot of shit that needs to be done before you leave. I wish we had more time.” He pours a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” I ignore the ‘more time’ comment. “Hey, Dad, can we fix the old Buick up for Hendlee? With me being gone, she won’t have transportation. I worry about her, ya know?”
Scratching the scruff on his face, Dad says, “Sure, but don’t you think she’ll question why you’re giving her a car? Since y’all are only friends, that is.”
He has a point. He would have to throw that out there. He and my mother have questioned the relationship between the two of us for years now. They know I love her, and that we belong together.
“I’ll tell her she needs it,” I state, because she does. There’s no reason she should ride that bicycle when the weather is as hot as it is, or even in the fall. She needs a car, and I want to make that happen for her. I’ll feel better knowing that she has one when I’m a million miles away.
“Well, get dressed. Meet me in the garage.” He pats my back. “We raised you right, son. You’re a good man, and I’m very proud of you.”
“Thanks, sir.”
Chapter Four
Only If He Knew...
Hendlee
It’s been three days since I offered myself to Quaid. I wasn’t good enough. I guess I’d have to look like the sluts he’s normally with. I should’ve known he’d never be with anyone like me. He’s always been popular, the boy all the girls drooled over. But he’s been my best friend and, other than Gemma, my only close friend. I mean there’s also Clive and Bryan, but we aren’t as close.
Gemma’s meeting me, so she can help open. Maw’s taking the day off to run some errands. I decide to ride my bike the mile to the bakery this morning. I have so much on my mind, the faster I can get there, the sooner I can get my day finished. Maw makes most of the dough balls every night, and we set them out in the morning so they rise. Hers are always better than mine or Gem’s.
“Hey, I could’ve given you a ride.” Gemma drapes her arm over my shoulder. “I am not a morning person. I think Maw should change the hours so we can sleep in.”
“The later we open, the later we have to be here. I’d rather wake up early than be here all night.”
“True! Good point. Have you talked to Quaid? He leaves soon, doesn’t he?” She looks at me so she can see my expression.
“Nope…not since he made me feel like a fool. Well, he did say he loved me through a text. I’m sure it’s just that brotherly love.” I turn the ovens on and reach for the flour. “You know, I really thought he would sleep with me. We’ve always been so close. You would think that he of all people would want to be my first.”
“Well, I know for a fact that he does love you, for more than a friend. Maybe he’s just scared. You know he will be gone for a while, maybe he’s planning to wait until he comes back.”
“And if he doesn’t come back? Am I supposed to sit here and wait for him when I have no clue how the heck he feels? I could die a damn virgin.” I add some flour and water in the mixer. We have a large cupcake order that needs to be done by five. “Come on, I need help with these cupcakes.”
“No, you won’t die a virgin; I’ll hire a male escort for you when you’re on your deathbed,” Gemma taunts. “Lighten up. He’ll give you what you want. And as for the cupcakes, you know I suck at those.”
“Hell, at this rate you could hire one for my birthday and I’d be happy.” I give her a playful grin. “Honey, I know cupcakes or cake in general isn’t your specialty.”
“I’ll make some Danish and scones. I can do that.” She beams. “Oh, and coffee.”
“Okay, you get all the other stuff ready and I’ll get Mrs. Simms’ cupcakes ready.”
“Deal, my friend.”
I mix up all the frosting and line the pans for one hundred cupcakes. The customer wanted a mixture of red velvet, chocolate, and vanilla bean. I decided to do a yellow and blue buttercream, as these are for a baby shower. I remember her saying her daughter was having a boy.
By the time I finish with the order and we get everything out, it’s after nine and I need to get the bakery open. When I go to open the front door, Quaid is already waiting. He’s standing next to the door, looking as handsome as ever.
“Hey,” he says, brushing past me and sitting on a barstool. I inhale, letting my nostrils fill with his intoxicating scent. “I’m leaving tomorrow and wanted to see if we could have lunch before I go.”
“I figured you’d already be gone. Sure you wouldn’t rather have lunch with Alison or Angie? Whatever ‘A’ girl it is today.”
“Hend, stop. You’re my best friend. I’m leaving, and I don’t know for how long. Don’t be pissed at me.” He rubs the back of his neck. “You can’t stay mad, I kind of got you a gift.” He puts his hands in the pockets of those damn Wranglers, which show off his luscious hips.
Stop it, Hendlee. You’re supposed to be pissed, not undressing him with your goddamn eyes.
“Best friend…” I scoff and roll my eyes. “You bought me a gift?”
“Well, I didn’t buy it, per se.” He stands up and takes my hand. “I’ll show you.” He pulls me through the front door, and once we’re outside I see that he is driving his dad’s old Buick. He hands me a set of keys. “She’s yours.”
“Excuse me? Did you say mine?” He smirks and nods. “No, you can’t give me a car.”
“I can and I am. She’s all yours. My dad will pay the insurance on it, so no worries about that. I wanted to make sure you have a way around when I leave.”
“You don’t want to sleep with me, but you want to give me a car?” I throw the keys at him. “Fuck you, Quaid Castings.”
“Hey, quit cussing at me. I love you. You just don’t get it, do you? I fucking love you with everything that I am, but it can’t happen, Hend. We can’t be together.” His voice is loud, and the veins in his neck are standing out.
“Yeah,” I snort, “I’m sure you love me. Just a sisterly love, right?”
I walk back toward the door and he grips my shoulder, twirling me around to face him. He grabs the back of my head and crashes his lips to mine. His tongue glides across the seam of my lips, begging for entrance. I open my mouth, and his tongue circles mine. They dance together and I hear a growl escape him. This is everything I’ve wanted, his mouth on mine, his body pressed this close to mine; my body is on fire. I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. I knew a kiss would be good, but not this good. God, why did he wait so long to kiss me like this? He’s leaving, then what will I do? I’m even more confused than I was three days ago, when I threw myself at him and he rejected me.
Pulling away from me, he lays his forehead on mine. “I do love you, Hendlee Ann Masters. Always have and always will. Please accept the car.” He places the keys in my hand, climbs on my bicycle, and rides away. I stand there dumbfounded and in shock, not knowing what to say or do. He really loves me. He kissed me. He gave me a car. He’s leaving for the Navy tomorrow. I walk back into the bakery, and straight to the bathroom. I don’t want Gemma to see my face. I loc
k the door behind me and hop on the counter. Resting my head against the cold wall, I close my eyes and replay everything that just happened.
***
“What do you mean he gave you a car and then kissed you?” Gemma questions as she pulls the overcooked blueberry scones from the oven.
I didn’t tell her that after I walked back in I spent as long as I could in the bathroom, crying and replaying it all over in my head. Letting his words sink in, and dwelling on the whys and buts.
“Just what I said. He gave me the car, he kissed me and said he loved me, then took my bicycle.” That was hours ago, and I can still taste him on my lips. It was the kiss I’d dreamt of for years.
“Why don’t you want the car? You need it. Hell, I’ll take it.” She nudges my shoulder. “Lighten up. You finally played tongue twister with the man of Benton Creek.”
“I hate you.” I push open the kitchen door and see that Quaid is now standing on the other side of the counter. He’s wearing the same blue t-shirt and his jeans cling to his body, his cowboy boots shining. My stare goes from his feet to his eyes. Then to his mouth, the mouth that I want to explore my body. I lick my lips, and walk toward him.
“I wanted to drop your bike off. Can we talk? In private, please.”
After a moment of consideration, I nod. “Gemma, can you handle things here?”
Gemma pops her head out of the door that leads to the kitchen with a grin. “Yep, I got this, go on. You can call me later.” She gives me a pleased look.
I walk to the back and snatch my purse off the hook and then the keys to my new car. Heading toward the front door, I don’t say another word.
“Wait up,” Quaid says. “I wanted to talk. Slow down.”
Once we are outside where Gemma can’t hear us, I let it all out. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Que. You know how I feel about you and you kiss me like that? Why? Why didn’t you just leave without saying goodbye? Why did you have to kiss me?” I throw my hands in the air. “What is it that you would like to talk about? Huh? Because right now I may say something I’ll regret. And you and I both know that what is said in anger can’t be taken back, no matter how bad we would like too.”