by Delisa Lynn
“Thank you.”
I’m really glad that she is here for me. I’m not sure how this trip is going to pan out and I need someone in my corner. I feel like all of Benton Creek forgot about me. Clive and I used to be really close. Before I left, I asked him to keep an eye on Hendlee. If he had, she may not have gotten knocked up by Jason. I know it isn’t Clive’s fault, but I feel as if they all forgot about me. We used to have a blast together. The four of us and Gemma’s brother Garret would hang out sometimes, but he is a few years younger.
***
The rest of the drive has been pretty quiet. We’ve listened to music and talked about everything and everyone. Entering Benton Creek, Sweet Baked Goods is the first thing I see. It looks the same as it did when I left. It’s weird knowing that Maw is no longer with us. She was a great lady. I tighten my hands around the wheel. We pass by MayBells Cafe and then Taylor Meats. Once we turn on to Lilly Creek Road, I see Hendlee’s house. It looks the same as well; there are a lot of children’s toys and a swing set out in the front yard now. I see that she still has the old Buick. There’s also a newer Chevy truck and an SUV in the driveway. Shaking the memories of her out of my mind, I keep driving. After we make a few more turns, my parents’ house and farm come into view and I finally smile.
“Is this it? It’s beautiful.” Nicola beams.
“Yes. This is where I grew up. The Castings Farm.” I laugh. “My grandparents’ farm is much larger. I’ll have to take you there before we leave. It sits off of a lake, and it’s three times bigger than this house. ”
“I would love to see it. I believe your mom is ready to fly down here, into your arms,” she teases.
My mom is on the front porch sitting in a rocking chair. She’s still as beautiful as she was the last time I saw her two years ago. She is off the porch before we can get our doors open. I pick her up in a big bear hug. She has tears in her eyes. “You’ve grown so much since we saw you last.” She kisses my cheek. “Such a handsome man, you look just like your dad when he was your age.”
“Mom, it’s so good to see you. This is Nicola.” I gesture between the two. “Nicola, this is my mom, Elisha.”
“So nice to finally meet you in person, I wish we were here under different circumstances,” Nicola says, hugging my mom.
“Come on in. Your dad will be so happy to see you and meet this beautiful lady.”
We follow Mom into the house, and my dad is standing in the kitchen, smiling big as the sun.
“About time you brought your ass back home.” He hugs me. “This must be the pretty lady that’s been keeping you in line.” He embraces Nicola as well.
“Yes, Dad. This is Nicola.”
“So nice to meet you, sir. You have a beautiful home, Mr. Castings.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. Call me Albert. My son here tells me you’re an accountant for your father’s car dealership?”
“Yes, sir, I am. I have a degree in business, and my father insisted I use it to help him out.”
“Are y’all hungry?” my mom asks from the stove. “I made a pork roast, veggies, and homemade cornbread.” She smiles, knowing that’s my favorite.
“Let me get our bags. I’d like to change, and then I’ll be ready to dig in.” I kiss Nicola then leave her and my mother standing in the kitchen.
“I’ll help you with them, son.” My dad follows me to the front door. “She’s a pretty one,” he remarks.
“Thanks, Dad. She is a great lady.”
“But not Hendlee.” He holds his hands up before I can protest. “Something is off between her and Jason. I never mentioned it before, but I noticed at Mrs. Masters’ service. And that little girl looks nothing like Jason.”
“Hendlee chose who she wanted to be with, Dad. I wasn’t gone six months and she got knocked up by one of my friends. Then he is the one that told me.” Shaking my head, I take our bags from the trunk of the rental car.
“I think there’s more to the story, just my opinion. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Walking up onto the porch, I hear a truck and turn to see my buddy Clive. Dropping the bags on the porch, I walk out and greet him. It’s been five years since I’ve seen him too.
“You look like a real man,” he says with a chuckle as he slams the door to his Chevy.
“I’ve always been a man.” I wrap my arm around him, giving him a hug. “So good to see you, buddy. So good.”
“You too. Can you believe Bryan is gone? I just had a beer with him a few nights ago. It’s crazy, man.” He kicks some gravel under his boots. “Where’s that pretty lady of yours?”
“She’s in the house. Come on in and meet her.”
“Hey, does she know about…shit, this is kind of awkward.” He presses his lips together then whispers, “Hendlee?”
“Of course she knows. There’s no secrets with her.” I open the front door and motion for Clive to go in first. He walks in, stops, and turns to look at me.
“That’s your girl? That beautiful woman standing in there with your mom? How the hell did you snag her?”
“She knows I’m the real deal, a real man,” I boast. Nicola walks toward us, smiling.
“Que, you’re an ass. Is this the Clive?”
“Yes, ma’am, I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Clive picks her up in a hug.
“I’ve heard so much about you. Que tells me that you and your family make the best beef jerky in the state.”
“Sure do. I can bring you some back. We also do deer jerky, when it’s in season. ” He winks at her. “How long y’all staying? We should have some drinks tonight.”
“Sounds scrumptious. That would be great, long as your buddy here wants to. He calls the shots.” She pats my stomach. “Why don’t you go have a drink with your friends? I think I’m going to answer a few emails after dinner. I’m kind of tired.”
“You sure, babe? You can go too.”
“Go on. You need this time with your friends. We all can go out before we leave.”
“You’re the best. I’ll change real quick and eat, then we can head out.” I kiss her and take our bags up to my room.
I feel sticky after that flight, then the drive. I need to freshen up. It’s been five years since I used my shower. My mom still keeps it stocked with soap, shower gel, and shampoo. Although I brought my own, I use what she has left for me. Washing my body quickly, I get dressed and go back downstairs. Clive and Nicola are sitting on the couch laughing at something my father is saying.
“Hey, I was just filling Nicola in on that time I took you boys hunting.” Dad laughs. “That poor deer didn’t know what was going on. I’m not sure who was more scared, Quaid or the deer.” He grabs his stomach, laughing.
“In my defense, I was tired. I’d never been hunting before, and the deer came out of nowhere.”
“That deer ran for the hills when he saw your face,” Clive taunts. “This boy here held his gun up, and then just froze. It was like he was reminiscing about Bambi. He decided he couldn’t shoot his gun and went back to the truck, leaving me and Mr. Castings here to fend for ourselves with the rest of the deer.”
“Were you scared of a little ol’ Bambi?” Nicola teases.
“No,” I say. “I was nervous and I kind of forgot what I was supposed to do. I was ready, but when I looked into the eyes of the deer, it scared the shit out of me and I had to go sit down. I felt faint,” I admit after all these years.
“Y’all quit picking on my baby, come on and eat,” Mom says, entering the room. “Albert, you said you were going to behave and not bring up that story.” She glares at him.
“Hey now, not me, sweetheart. Talk to our other son over there.” He points to Clive.
“Guilty, I admit.” Clive throws his hands up. “But Mrs. Castings, you know as well as we do, you laughed your butt off when we came home that night.”
My mom places her hand over her face trying to stifle her laugh. “Come eat before it gets cold.”
Chapter Twelve
Lies Ruin Lives
Hendlee
Jason suggests we have a few drinks at Brewskis tonight.
“Jason, are you sure you want to go? I don’t think Gemma is up to it, to be honest.”
“Yeah, I think it’ll be good for all of us. My sister will keep Bristol, and it’ll do you good to get out.” He pulls me close and kisses my cheek. “You can use a drink.”
“You sure Jackie is okay to keep her?” I know she is, I just hate leaving Bristol with anyone. The older she gets, the more she looks like her father, and I know people will start asking questions.
“She loves having her niece around. Besides, Ashleigh has been begging for her to come and play dolls with her.”
“Okay, I’ll call Gemma.” I walk into the living room and pick my phone up to shoot her a quick text.
Me: Drinks at Brewskis?
She responds as soon as I hit send.
Gemma: Yes, my mom is driving me insane. She depresses me even more. As if that was possible.
Me: Okay, J and I will pick you up after we drop Bristol off to his sister’s.
Gemma: Oh…Okay.
Me:???
Gemma: I assumed it would just be the two of us. No biggie, I’ll see you soon.
Me: Is it okay? I can leave him home; but it was his idea.
Gemma: No worries, it’s cool. Come and get me, I need a DRINK, woman.
Me: Okay, see you soon. Love you!
She doesn’t respond. I know she is going through it rough with Bryan’s death. She doesn’t like Jason and she doesn’t care to admit it either. I let Jason know that we are picking her up after we drop Bristol off. I finish getting ready. Brewskis is a local family bar, what most people would call a hole in the wall. I get Bristol’s bag together and let her know that she will be staying with her cousin tonight. I hate to drink around her, and I don’t want to pick her up after we’ve been drinking.
***
All the way to the bar, I can feel my nerves in my knees. I’m not sure if it’s leaving Bris for a night or the fact that I know Quaid is in town. Gemma must sense it. She places her hand on my knee and squeezes. We are in Jason’s truck, and I’m sitting between the two of them. I look over and give her a sympathetic smile.
Jason pulls into the parking lot. “Looks like the bar is pretty packed tonight, ladies.”
“That means standing room only.” I sigh. I hate crowds. I always have.
“It’ll be fine, Hend, and I have your back,” Gemma says.
Jason opens her door. “Let’s go, ladies, first round is on me.”
“I can pay for my own,” Gemma snaps. “But if you really want to, then I’ll make sure I drink a lot the first round.”
I walk through the door. As soon as my eyes go to the bar, I see him. The man that broke my heart five years ago. The man that I have longed to hold me the last five years. The man that is—
“No fucking way. I didn’t know you all would be here tonight,” Jason says to Clive and Quaid. “The girls needed to get out after everything that’s happened.” He embraces me tighter.
“Jason, how the hell you been? Looks like you’re doing pretty good, with the beautiful girl in your arms.” Quaid’s voice is a little harsh. I break away from the hold that Jason has on me.
“Boys, if you’ll excuse me.” I take Gemma by the hand and lead her toward the ladies room. Once inside, I brace myself against the wall, sliding down it. Quaid is way bigger than he was five years ago. How does someone like him get even handsomer? Is that even possible? I can’t breathe.
Gemma bends down over me. “Are you okay?”
Gasping for air, I point to my purse. “In-inhaler,” I choke out.
“Shit, seeing Que did this? Just wait until he finds out that Bristol is his.”
I place the inhaler in between my lips and inhale sharply. “Don’t say that shit aloud. He didn’t respond to my letters. I told him I was pregnant and he never responded. He chose to cut me off even though I was carrying his child. His own flesh and blood I carried inside of me for nine months, and he never replied to my fucking letters, not one word, Gemma. I can’t see him.”
“Get yourself together. He’s an ass. I’m not sure if I want to hug him or junk punch him.” She pulls me up. “He will know once he sees her, though.”
“He can’t see her…he just can’t.” I wipe my face and hug Gemma. “Let’s go, I can put on my poker face.”
“You sure you’re good?”
I nod. “Yeah, thanks.” Wiping my face, I straighten my clothes and walk out into the loud bar. I see that the guys are still in the same spot. I walk up and place my arms around Jason’s waist.
“You okay?” he asks, rubbing my hands.
“Yep…never better,” I say sarcastically. “Can Gemma and I get a shot of Jack and Coke?”
“Of course, babe. I’ll get it for y’all.” He walks over to the bar. That leaves Clive, Gemma, and Quaid.
“So how have you been, Hendlee?” Que inches closer to me. His whiskey brown eyes make my body warm.
“I’m great, how about yourself?” Though I keep my poker face, deep down I’m a mess. I’m standing inches away from the man I lost years ago. The man that gave me the best thing that ever happened to me.
“Good to hear. Your hair looks good like that.” He takes a pull from his beer.
“Thanks, I needed a change.”
“I drove by your house earlier, I see you still have the Buick.”
“Yep. I still drive her sometimes.”
Jason returns and passes my drink to me. “Just the way you like it.” He snuggles close to me and I lean into his touch. Que turns his head away.
“I’m going to throw some darts. It was good seeing you, Hendlee.” He starts to walk away.
“Quaid, wait. Can I have a word with you?”
He rakes his hand over the back of his head. “Sure, let’s go outside.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jason says nervously. “Y’all can talk here, in front of all of us.”
“It’s fine, I’ll be okay.” I squeeze his arm. “I just need to talk to him alone for a minute.”
Jason scratches the back of his head. “You sure? I can come with you.” I nod and he steps back.
“She is sure, Jason, give her some space. Jesus Christ, you do know she was mine first, right?” Quaid places his hand in the small of my back, and we walk toward the door.
Looking back at Jason, I see him down the beer he was holding. When Quaid and I get outside, he backs me up against the side of the building and the cold brick hits my back. The night air fills my lungs and my nostrils flare at his scent. His eyes bore into mine, our faces closer than they’ve been in five years.
“Que, you never answered my letters.”
“You went off and fucked one of my friends.” He laughs in my face. “And got knocked up, and you were wanting me to respond? Classy, Hend. Very classy of you.”
My hand comes full force to his cheek. “You son-of-a-bitch. I waited for you, Castings! I wrote you every day, every fucking day, I wrote to you. You never responded. So I stopped writing the letters.”
“Waited my ass. I wasn’t gone four months before Jason wrote me and told me y’all were together. He basically rubbed it in my goddamn face.” He tilts his head. “So the night we spent together didn’t mean anything to you, did it? You said you loved me, and wanted me to come back to you, but as soon as I was gone, you jumped on the first cock that was in your face?”
“God, how stupid are you? You didn’t read the letters, did you?” I ask, pushing away from him. He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him.
“Stupid? Stupid to believe that you loved me, when all along you were fucking someone else? Why the hell should I have read them? You were already with him. You’d made your choice and were pregnant apparen
tly.”
“You don’t know shit.” I jerk away. “I’m done. You’re so fucking unbelievable. You have changed so much. I hate you. I have cried every day for the last eighteen hundred days. I gave birth to my daughter and then lost my grandmother. You weren’t here for any of it. I needed you more than I ever have, our entire lives.”
“I’m sorry about Maw, but there’s no way in hell I would stand by you when you gave birth to his child.”
“You’re so goddamn blind,” I say through clenched teeth.
I hate everything about him now. He’s not my Quaid anymore. Nothing about him is my Quaid.
He throws his hands up in the air. “What do you want from me? You cheated on me and got knocked up!” he yells.
“I never cheated, I never slept with Jason until…” My body is trembling and I’m about to have a breakdown right here, and right now. I swallow back the sobs that are ready to erupt from my chest.
“Until what, Hendlee Ann?” he pushes. “Until what?”
My lungs feel like they’re collapsing.
“I already had Bristol when I slept with him.” I fall to my knees, grabbing my inhaler. Lord knows I’m about to have an asthma and a panic attack right here. I can’t believe I said those words aloud to him.
“So you slept with someone else?” He’s on his knees with me, running his hands over his face. “Jesus, why would you want to be with me if you were going to fuck half of Benton Creek?” He rises to his feet, turning from me. His words slice through my heart like a knife.
He thinks I’m a fucking whore.
Slinging my inhaler across the pavement, I jump to my feet. “You’re so stupid. I wrote you and told you I was having your baby, Quaid. Yours and mine! Bristol isn’t Jason’s, she’s yours.”
His face goes white and his veins bulge.
“What did you say?” he yells. Gemma sprints through the door right then. “Step back, Gemma. This is between us. It seems I have daughter that I wasn’t told I had.” He grabs both my wrists. “When did you hook up with Jason?”