by Delisa Lynn
“We’d better get going, they’re expecting all of us to help at the church,” Clive says with his arms wrapped around Gemma.
“We can all go in my truck.” Quaid hands me my purse. “We’re picking Bristol up afterwards and going to my parents, aren’t we?” I nod. “Okay, Clive, you can drive Gemma in her car then.”
Clive agrees as we all exit my house. Que locks the door and leads me down the steps. When he opens the door for me, my mind goes back to when he first got this truck. I smile, thinking about that day.
“Get in, my parents just bought it for me.”
The huge truck is so Que. His favorite color is red, and this truck is very red.
“Look, they even had this bad ass radio installed. It holds six CDs.”
“Are you going to listen to all six at once?” I laugh. “This truck is pretty awesome though. Can we go to the lake? I bet it would be awesome to lie in the back and watch the stars.” I immediately feel corny. I feel like an idiot, I’m sure he has other plans for the back of his truck with whatever girl wants to follow him around this week.
“Why d’ya think I came and picked you up?”
“What are you over there smiling about?” Quaid asks, bringing my hand to his lips.
“How much I’ve missed you. Missed this…and us.”
“Me too, babe, me too.”
He pulls onto the main road.
***
The service was beautiful, the flowers were perfect. The church choir sang a few of Bryan’s mother’s favorite hymns. His family was a mess, but they all remained calm through the service. I’ve been to four funerals in my entire life. My parents’ when I was only three, then my Paw’s, Maw’s, and now Bryan’s. I felt bad leaving Gem, but she said she would be fine. She and Clive were going to take the flowers from the church to the cemetery. I know that Clive will keep her company. He has always looked after all of us. He has been the big brother of the group.
Quaid and I are on our way to his parents’. We’ve picked Bristol up from Jackie’s, and I am a nervous wreck. His parents are going to hate me. They never spoke to me through the service, nor at the cemetery. They were always so kind to me, treating me as if I was their own, and now I have kept their granddaughter from them her entire life. Sure, they’ve seen her from time to time in passing, but they never once questioned if she was their son’s daughter. Of course, the entire town thought she was Jason’s, so they probably thought that too. Who wouldn’t? We were always together. We pull down the dirt road that leads to the Castings’ home, and I feel nauseous. I feel the tears stinging my eyes.
I look over at Que and he smiles.
“No worries, sweetheart, they’ll love her.”
“I know they will. I’m worried about what they’ll think of me. All this time I have told her that you were her daddy, but never told them that she was yours. They’ll hate me forever. I can sit outside and wait for the visit to be over.” I face the window so he doesn’t see my tears trickling down the side of my nose.
“The hell you will. You’re my girl and if they don’t like it, look, they will have to get over it. I know they’re hurt—I am too. But that’s no reason to shut you out. I love you, and we will overcome this as a family. So no, you will not sit outside.” Throwing the truck in park, he jumps out and opens the back door. “Come on, princess. You ready to meet your grandparents?”
“Yes, will they love me like you do?” Bristol jumps into his arms. She has no filter, she is a very blunt child.
“Absolutely, they sure will. I bet they have some presents for you too.” He slings her bag with her books, toys, and snacks over his shoulder. A macho Navy man carrying a pink princess backpack over his shoulder. It’s pretty adorable.
Scrunching her nose, Bristol counters, “Presents? It’s not my birthday yet. Is it, Momma?”
“No, baby, it isn’t. They just have never met you and wanted to get you some things, I’m sure.”
My knees are so shaky, I root around in my purse to make sure I have my inhaler just in case I start to panic. I walk very slow behind the two of them. Though I see his parents all the time in town and at the bakery, I haven’t been here in nearly five years. Quaid pulls me to his side. “I’m sorry, I’m just really scared.”
“Let’s go inside. Everything will be okay.”
We reach the front steps of the huge house. I’ve always admired their home and property. The two-story house is white with black shutters, and there is a balcony off his parents’ room. Quaid’s room was always in the back, and we would sneak up on the roof all the time.
Opening the door, his father greets us. “Well hello, pretty girl. You must be Bristol.” He reaches for her hand.
Bristol giggles. “Yes, that’s me. Are you my grandpa?”
“Yes, I am. This lady here is your grandma.” He steps to the side so Mrs. Castings can come closer. She smiles, tears streaming down her face.
“Hi, sweetie. So nice to meet you.” She places her hands on Bristol’s cheeks. “Can I have a hug?” she asks, then looks at me.
Bristol reaches her little arms out and goes into Mrs. Castings’ arms. “We have some gifts for you,” she tells her, walking her into the other room.
“Hi, sir. I’m…” I start to confess.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Mr. Castings says. “My boy here has explained everything. No need to keep apologizing.”
I nod and we follow him into the family room. It hasn’t changed much in the last five and a half years. A picture on the mantel catches my eyes immediately. It’s Quaid and a female, who must be Nicola. She is beautiful, and looks very short compared to him. He must see me looking.
“Sorry, I didn’t know that was there. I’ll move it,” he whispers in my ear.
“It’s okay, she’s beautiful. They don’t have to move it on my account, I don’t mind. I know she was a part of your life for a few years.”
“Three years to be exact, and she is a very nice lady,” his mother chimes in.
“I understand, and I’m not trying to make anyone uncomfortable. I’ll just wait outside while you spend some time with Bristol.” I start to walk away and Quaid grabs my hand.
“You’re not going anywhere. Let’s get a drink while they get acquainted.” We walk into the kitchen, and I glance back. His mother is giving me the stank eye.
“Your mom hates me now,” I say when we are out of their earshot. “She used to love me. She would always come in the bakery and talk to me and tell me how you were doing. She even brought me gifts to my baby shower.” I sit down and Que hands me a can of Pepsi.
“She’s hurt, Hendlee. She doesn’t understand why you didn’t come to them and let the two of them help you since I wasn’t around. I can’t lie, I was furious when I found out. I still want to kill Jason with my bare hands. He took a part of my life away. I know you wrote me the letters, but Jesus, you could’ve told my parents, even though I never replied.”
He scoots my chair closer to him.
“You’re never going to forgive me, are you? I don’t know what else I can say.” I bury my head in the crook of his neck.
“I told you already, I forgive you and I’m not mad. I think you and my mom need to have a talk.” I whip my head up and look at him like he has two heads. “I’m serious. I’ll be right here, go out and chat with her. Just be honest with her, you got this.”
“I’m not sure I can be alone with her.” I am scared, and I know she hates me for what I’ve done.
“You’ll be fine.” He motions for his mom to come into the kitchen. “Mom, you and Hend should go talk, okay?”
“Sure, I have a whole lot of words I would like to say to her,” she says as if I’m not standing there. She walks toward the back door. I look at Quaid and he nods for me to follow. Once outside, she lights a cigarette.
“Mrs. Castings, I just want to say I’m sorry, and I know I should’ve come to the two of you. I was scared, Que wasn’t responding to my letters, then Jason wouldn�
�t go away. I had no clue he’d contacted Quaid and told him we were together. I never wanted a relationship with Jason. He was just…there.” I sigh and sit down on the patio chair.
She takes a deep drag from her cigarette.
“First off, you should’ve never been afraid to come to us. We were always a second family to you, Hendlee. We would have helped you however we could and never asked questions of the paternity. Jason sure messed things up. I know you think I hate you, but I don’t. I’m hurt that you would lie to us, parade our own grandchild around town, and not even tell us about her. Do you know how much it hurts to know that I’ve seen you all—Bristol, Jason, and you—around town looking like a happy family? Now that my son’s home, you’ve broken that home as well as his with Nicola who, by the way, is a very sweet girl. She didn’t ask for any of this.” She tosses her half-finished cigarette in the ashtray. “I don’t normally smoke, I’ve just been so stressed lately.” She holds her gaze on my eyes, waiting for my reply.
Before I respond, I need to make sure what I’m going to say makes sense.
“I’m sorry that I never came to y’all. I was scared, terrified actually, and hurt. I wrote Quaid several letters explaining everything to him. He never replied, he is the one that ignored my letters. I never slept with Jason, not until after I’d already had Bristol. I’ve loved your son since I was a child, I’ve dreamt of sharing my life with him. Jason lied to all of us…” I stop and wipe the tears from my cheeks.
Crossing my legs, I sit taller. “Do I regret the choices I’ve made? Of course. Do I wish that I’d come to you all? Absolutely. But I can’t change what’s done. I will tell you this, as far as Nicola and me breaking up the ‘happy home,’ that’s a load of crap and you know it. She left Que here. He’s here to bury his best friend and finds out he has a daughter and she just leaves. What does that say about her? To me…seems like she wasn’t here for him at all. I’m the one that held his hand while they lowered our friend into the ground, I’m the one that wiped his tears when he saw his daughter for the first time. Nicola walked out on him. He needed her and she bailed. So tell me again how sweet she is?” I give her a nervous laugh. “I’m going to check on my daughter. I’m sorry that I kept her from you.”
I walk toward the door without turning back to look at her.
Quaid was opening the door as I approached. “Everything good, babe?”
I place my hand on his face. “Yes, I think it will be.” I kiss the corner of his lips, where his smile is spreading.
“Momma, look what Grandma and Grandpa got me!” Bristol squeaks, running to us. “It’s a tea set!”
I bend down and look over the very expensive tea set. “This is beautiful. Did you thank them?”
“Yes, and I got more stuff in the other room. A lot of cool toys!”
Quaid smiles behind me and I see Mr. Castings grinning the same grin as his son’s.
***
“She’s sound asleep. Your parents spoiled her today.” I snuggle in against Quaid on the sofa.
“They loved her.” He kisses the top of my head. “I have to go back to Chicago, and I need to touch base with my boss. We need to figure out what we’re going to do about our living situation.”
“Do you want us to come to Chicago? Bristol doesn’t start school until next year, I’m sure they have wonderful schools there.” The words leave my mouth before I even have a chance to think about them. While I’ve never wanted to leave Benton Creek, I can’t lose him again.
“Once I go back and discuss things with my Captain, I’ll get a better idea. My time is up in about a year. I signed up for six years.” He sighs as he intertwines our fingers. “Would you consider living on Castings Farm? The house would be perfect, it’s right off the water, and Bristol will love growing up there.”
He has a point, I love that house and the land. Am I ready to give my grandmother’s home up? This was her and Paw’s life. I love this house, although it’s really old and outdated.
“What about this house?”
“You can keep it, or even sell it. My grandparents’ house could use some work, and we can update it however you like. It’s huge. You have to admit that it’s an awesome idea, I just don’t think I could live here. Everywhere I look I see Jason.”
“Your parents would be fine with all of this?”
“No one has lived there for years. They never really wanted to sell it, so I’m sure they would be thrilled at the idea. Plus, they would love to have all of us within walking distance.”
“Can I think about it? This has been Bristol’s home for her whole life. I don’t know how she would feel. Do you think we’re moving too fast? Less than a week ago you were living with someone, and so was I.” The look in his eyes turns sad. “I know this was not what you came here for, and I hate that I ruined your relationship.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. I should’ve opened those letters. I shouldn’t have trusted Jason’s word. Don’t think for one second this is your fault, and Nicola…she chose to leave, I never asked her to. She knew deep down that there was a chance you and I would reconnect. I was honest with her from the beginning about my feelings for you.”
“I hate Jason. I knew something was off. Never in a million years would I think he would’ve done something like this. I do feel really bad about Nicola.”
“Don’t feel bad, she’s the one that left. Let’s not talk about them. I have to leave tomorrow and I want to kiss these perfect lips the rest of the night.”
I giggle when his lips hit mine.
He makes me feel happy again.
Chapter Seventeen
Family Man
Quaid
Waking up with Hendlee in my arms was perfect. Having breakfast with my girls was great. After breakfast, I said my goodbyes and went to my parents’. I talked to my dad about taking over my grandparents’ home. He was all for it, which I knew he would be. Once I get back to Chicago, I need to speak with my captain. I can still do my job, even living in Kentucky, but I honestly think I’m ready to move home. If you would’ve asked me a week ago, I would’ve said hell no. But knowing I have a beautiful daughter and an incredible woman there is all I need.
My dad drove me to the airport since Nicola had taken the rental car when she left. Hendlee offered to take me, but my dad wanted to have a heart to heart about everything that played out this weekend. He kept saying that he knew something was off about the Jason and Hendlee romance. I think back to the conversation on the way there.
“Son, all I’m saying is you got a second chance with your first love. Do the right thing, your mother and I are here for you and your child, no matter what. But you know I love Hendlee as if she were my own. Her dad and I were good friends, and that girl has lost a lot in her lifetime. She did what she did as she thought it was the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, I know you love her. I know Mom does too. She’s just hurting. I do want to marry her. I know this is all happening so fast, Dad. Tell me I am doing the right thing by leaving the Navy and Nicola and coming back.”
“Yes, you’re doing the right thing, son. I know you’re following your heart. We love you, and we’ll see you soon.” He hugs me.
Once I’m seated, I check my email and messages. I haven’t heard one word from Nicola. I have sent her texts and emails, and she hasn’t responded to any of them. I wouldn’t reply to me either. I feel bad about what happened. She and I have been together the last three years. She’s a great person, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss her, because I do. The love I have for her and the love that I have for Hendlee are two different types of love. I know I sound like an ass, but it’s the truth. She hadn’t even left Benton Creek, and I was already in Hendlee’s bed. I have no regrets though, I was where I was supposed to be.
I board the plane. This is going to be a three-hour flight with no layovers. I doze off.
When I awake again, I look over at the older gray-haired lady smiling at me. I wipe the corners of my mou
th, making sure I have no drool.
“Hi, ma’am.”
She grins and I see that she is missing a few teeth. “You were snoring.” She blushes. “You serving our country? I noticed your hat and t-shirt.”
I chuckle. “Sorry about that, I was pretty tired. My name is Quaid Castings. I’ve been in the United States Navy a little over five years.”
“I thought so. My husband was a Navy SEAL.” She pauses and I see the sadness take over the gleam in her blue eyes. “He loved it until the day he died. He never made it back to me his last tour. We were married for ten years, and he was deployed to Iraq.” She looks away. “He left me the greatest gift. The day he died, I found out I was pregnant. We’d been trying for so many years. He was home on leave and I got pregnant then.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am. How old is your child?” I ask.
“My Corey is forty-one years old now. I’m on my way to visit him, his wife, and my granddaughter. They are expecting my first great-grandchild in a few days.” She beams with pride.
“I just found out I have a daughter.” I pull my wallet out of my pocket, flipping through until I land on the picture of my girl. “This is Bristol. She will be five in a few months.” I beam as I see her take in all of Bristol’s features.
“She looks like you.” Placing her hand on my knee, she says, “May I be a nosey old lady? You say you just found out and she will be five soon?”
“Yes, ma’am. Long story short, my girlfriend was pregnant when I left and we broke up before I found out. This past weekend I went home for a friend’s funeral and found out that I’m a father.”
“Oh wow, I bet that’s an interesting story.” She winks and then starts talking again.
The rest of the way to Chicago, I hear stories of her late husband and of how she never remarried after his death. Once I land I call my buddy Sago to get me home since I had ridden to the airport with Nicola. As soon as he arrives, all of the questions start rolling off his tongue. He talks all the way until we pull up in front of my condo, and I see my car is sitting where I left it. I notice that Nicola’s isn’t where it normally is.