by Julia James
From the corner of her eye she could see Ben’s face pucker.
‘Why can’t Tio Rico see me any more?’ he said.
She saw Rico reach out and ruffle Ben’s hair.
‘Your mother’s got it wrong. I’m here, aren’t I?’
It was her turn for her face to pucker.
‘But you shouldn’t be,’ she said fiercely. ‘You can’t be.’
His expression changed again. Something entered his eyes. Something she didn’t want to see.
‘Where else should I be,’ he asked quietly, but with deadliness in his voice, ‘but with my wife and my boy?’
‘No,’ she said. She rocked forward slightly. Denying it. Denying it completely. ‘No,’ she said again.
He looked at her. Looked at her with eyes that chilled her to the bone.
‘Did you really think,’ he asked, in that same quiet, deadly tone, ‘that I would stay away?’
She snapped upright.
‘You’ve got to go!’ she shouted at him. ‘You’ve got to go—right away. Right now. Falieri told me. He told me. So go—go.’
There was a steely glint in his eye. He reached for her hands and hauled her down again. Her eyes were wild, desperate.
‘He told me,’ she said, and there was despair in her voice. ‘He told me everything. He told me about that law—the one that says you can’t marry without the Ruling Prince’s permission. He told me that it meant our marriage was null and void.’
‘Our marriage is real, Lizzy. We made our vows in front of a priest. No one can overturn that.’ Steel was in his voice now.
‘Yes, they can. They can. Your father can overturn it—and that’s what he’s done.’
‘All my father can do is refuse to recognise our marriage within San Lucenzo. He cannot overturn it. He has no power over our marriage, Lizzy. None.’ He spoke steadily, remorselessly.
Her face contorted. ‘Yes, he has. He has. Captain Falieri told me—he told me quite clearly. He’s got absolute power over you. You’ve broken the law, and if you don’t obey him he’ll use that power. And he’ll do it. Captain Falieri said he would do it.’ She swallowed. The stone in her throat was agony. But she spoke, saying the words that had been burnt into her like an agonising brand.
‘He’ll do it, Rico—he’ll strip you of your royalty. He’ll disinherit you. He’ll disbar you from the succession. Take you off the Civil List, freeze all your assets in San Lucenzo. He’ll take everything from you—everything. He’ll leave you with nothing.’
She heard Captain Falieri’s voice tolling in her head. Saying the words that had taken everything from her. All hope. Gone for ever. They had crushed her, crushed her heart, cracking it in pieces.
There was a strange look on Rico’s face. It frightened her. His expression was calm. Very calm. Far too calm.
‘Falieri was wrong. There was something my father could not take from me.’ He paused. Then he spoke. ‘You. He could not take you from me. My wife.’
Her face contorted again.
‘No. No.’
‘You are my wife, and Ben is my adopted son, and no one—no power on earth—will take you from me.’
She twisted her hands in his grip.
‘No,’ she cried again. Her eyes were anguished. ‘You mustn’t say that. I won’t let you. I won’t. You’ve got to go now. Right now.’
He gave a sudden laugh, gripping her hands more tightly yet.
‘What a venal woman you are,’ he said. ‘You only want me for my title, don’t you?’ His fingers slid into hers. ‘Well, I’ve bad news for you, Signora Ceraldi—’
‘Don’t say that. Just go. It’s not too late.’
He hauled her against him, crushing her against the hard wall of his chest.
‘It’s far too late. Far, far too late.’
He kissed her.
The kiss went on and on. And she drowned in it. Drowned in his arms. Drowned in the tears pouring from her.
‘Mummy—Mummy?’
A little hand was tugging at her arm. Ben’s voice was confused, bewildered. Rico half let her go. He swept Ben to him.
‘Now, tell me—tell me true.’ He stood him up in the crook of his arm, hugging his little body close to him. His other arm was wrapped tight around Lizzy. ‘Which would you rather? Me not at all—or me not as a prince but still you and me and Mummy?’
‘Would you go away again?’ Ben asked.
Rico shook his head. ‘Never. Unless you came with me. I might go sometimes—just to work, that sort of thing—maybe for the day or a few days. But you would live with me, and so would Mummy. Would that be any good?’
‘Where would we all live?’
‘Anywhere you liked. Well, except in a palace.’
‘I want to live here and at the holiday house with the swimming pool,’ Ben stipulated. ‘With you and Mummy. For ever and ever.’
‘Done,’ said Rico. ‘High five says yes.’
Ben gave him a high five. ‘Yes,’ he shouted. ‘Yes, yes, yes.’
His little face was alight—alight with joy.
Lizzy’s face was wet with tears.
‘You can’t do this. You just can’t,’ she sobbed.
Rico’s arm tightened around her shaking shoulders.
‘Too late,’ he told her. ‘Done deal.’ He kissed her forehead softly. ‘Done deal, Signora Ceraldi.’ His eyes gazed into hers. Deep, deep eyes. ‘Now, don’t go and tell me it was just the royal bit you fell for?’ His voice was admonishing. ‘My ego won’t take it, you know. It really won’t.’
She swallowed, hard. ‘Ben—’ her voice was shaky ‘—why not start on that station now? Tio Rico and I need to talk. Boring grown-up stuff.’
‘OK,’ said Ben.
His world was restored. Happily, he scrambled back onto the sand and started scooping it up to shape into a railway station. Carefully, very carefully, Lizzy undraped herself and pulled away, to the far edge of the rug.
‘You can’t do this,’ she said again. She made her voice steady. Very steady. Calm and rational. ‘I won’t let you. I won’t let you give everything up for Ben. He’s young. He’ll soon forget you. It will be hard at first, but in a year he’ll have forgotten you. You’ll just be a memory, and even that will fade.’
He was looking at her strangely. Then he spoke.
‘But, you see, my memories of Ben won’t fade. I won’t forget him. And I won’t give him up. He’s my brother’s son—and as clearly as if Paolo were here now I can hear him telling me to be the father to Ben that he was not allowed to be. Just as you—’ he made each word telling ‘—are the mother to Ben that your sister was not allowed to be. And though the cruelty of their deaths can never be assuaged, we know that we can be the loving family to their son that he needs. Because we both love him—and we love each other, don’t we, Lizzy?’
She opened her mouth, but no words came. He supplied them for her.
‘You can’t kiss a man like you just did unless you love him. You can’t cry all over a man like you just did unless you love him. And you certainly can’t tell a prince he’s not to give up his title for the woman he loves unless you love him. I’ve got you on all three counts, Signora Ceraldi. And I’ve got you on more counts than that. An infinite number—not just every night we were together, but every moment we were together. Every look, every touch, everything we said to each other, every meal we shared—every smile we shared, everything.’
He shook his head ruminatively. ‘It started right from the beginning—even though I didn’t know it. Seeing you with Ben, seeing you love him and care for him. And when…’He paused, then went on, ‘When you used that horrible, cruel word about yourself, describing our marriage, I wanted to do anything, everything I could to banish it.’ His eyes softened. ‘And I had my reward—oh, I did indeed. Ever since you walked towards me along that terrace, looking such a knockout, taking my breath away, I’ve been lost. And I know that makes me sound superficial and trivial, thinking with my Y chromosome, but you
bowled me over. Blew me away. Knocked me for six. Whatever you want to call it—I went for it.’ His voice changed again. ‘But it isn’t just because of that. It can’t be—because even now, when you haven’t got a scrap of make-up on, and your hair is going frizzy again, and God alone knows what rubbish dump you got that T-shirt out of, I just want to hold you and never, never let you go again. Why do you suppose that is?’
She fingered a corner of the rug and wouldn’t look at him.
‘It was just novelty. Kindness. Something like that.’
Rico said a word in Italian. She didn’t know what it meant, but she could tell it wasn’t one she wanted Ben to copy.
‘It was love. Do you know how I know? Because when I heard my father telling me my marriage was void I wanted to hit him. Pulverise him.’
‘He was trying to manipulate you. No wonder you were angry.’
‘He was trying to take me away from you. And I wasn’t going to let him.’
‘He was trying to take you away from Ben.’
‘Ben, yes—and you. Stop trying to tell me I don’t love you, Signora Ceraldi.’ He shook his head again, and only the glint in his eyes told her his jibe was not cruel. ‘What a low opinion you have of me. The Playboy Prince—that’s all you think of me, isn’t it? Admit it.’
She could find no humour in it. ‘You can’t give up your birthright.’ Her voice was low, and vehement. ‘You can’t.’
‘I can and I have. Like I said, it’s a done deal. It was a done deal the moment my self-righteous brother informed me what the penalty for my crime was. It took a while,’ he said grimly, ‘to convince Luca and my father that I was serious in the answer I gave them. That there was no way on God’s earth that I would repudiate you and agree to void our marriage—and to hell with their damn laws. But finally they washed their hands of me. I’ve signed God knows how many documents my father had drawn up, and now, finally, I’ve been able to come to you.’
She shook her head urgently, violently.
‘No. I won’t let you. I won’t let you do this, Rico. Please go back. Go back before it’s too late. You can get your title restored, be reinstated, go back on the Civil List, unfreeze your San Lucenzan assets—’
But he only laughed, lounging back on the rug, propped up on one elbow. ‘Yes, definitely a venal woman, Signora Ceraldi.’ He gave an extravagant sigh. ‘I’m only good enough for you when I’m a royal, and I’m only good enough for you when I’ve got my fingers in the San Lucenzan royal coffers.’
He shook his head sorrowfully. ‘My sweet little golddigger—don’t you realise that since I turned eighteen it has been my life-long ambition never to be strung up by the family financial umbilical cord? I know you think I’m just a mindless Playboy Prince, but I haven’t spent my youth simply philandering and racing powerboats and the like. I’ve made investments, taken financial interests in various ventures, played the stock markets. I may not be worth quite what I was before I quit San Lucenzo, but we can jog along quite comfortably, I promise you. We may even—’ his eyes glinted again, making weakness wash through her ‘—run to buying that villa in Capo d’Angeli. Would you like that? But let’s keep your cottage here. We’ll do it up properly. Put central heating in. I’d like to spend time here. The surf looks good.’
Her hands twisted in her lap.
‘The water’s far too cold for you here.’
He took her hands and untwisted them. ‘Then I look forward to you warming me up afterwards. Will you do that, hmm?’ The glint turned into a gleam. The weakness washed through her again.
Then he was smoothing the fingers of her hands—softly, sensuously.
‘Too many days without you,’ he was murmuring. ‘Too many nights. What a lot we have to make up for.’
She took a deep breath. Looked him right in the eyes. Those dark, beautiful, long-lashed eyes.
‘Rico, don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I can’t bear it.’
The long sooty lashes swept down over his eyes, then back up again.
‘And I can’t bear not to. It’s as simple as that.’
For one long, endless moment he just looked into her eyes, her face, searching for her—finding her.
A little hand was tugging at him. With a lithe, fluid movement Rico jackknifed up to a sitting position.
‘What’s up, Ben?’ he said smilingly.
‘Tio Rico,’ asked Ben speculatively, ‘did you remember to bring the fort we made?’
It took Ben a long time to settle for bed that night. He bounced around in a state of over-excitement, until finally he could fight sleep no more. Carefully, Rico made his way down the narrow, creaking stairs, ducking his head under the low lintel. The door to the kitchen was open, and she was sitting there, a mug of tea in her cupped hands, staring sightlessly.
How long would it take her to believe? he wondered. Believe that he knew exactly what he was doing, regretted nothing. And would never regret.
He walked in, and her eyes flew to him instantly, unswervingly. And he saw in them such a blaze that it took his breath away.
Where had it come from, this love he felt for her? He didn’t know. It had just arrived, that was all. Some time when he wasn’t paying attention. When he was just being with her. With Ben.
My family, he thought. That’s who they are. My wife and my boy. My son. I’ll be the father he couldn’t have. I’ll take care of him. So simple. So easy. It had been no choice at all.
‘Asleep,’ he announced. ‘Finally.’
‘He’s excited,’ she said. While he’d been settling Ben she’d tried to do something with her appearance, he could tell. She’d put some make-up on, styled her hair. She looked good. Not as glossy, not as stunning as she had when she’d gone for the full works, but good. Definitely good.
The strange thing was, he didn’t care.
I love her stunning, I love her plain.
Because I just love—her.
He sat himself down on the table, just by her.
‘There’s still time to change your mind. You could still go back.’
He smiled. It was a strange smile. Filled with humour, with resignation, with understanding.
‘I’m here for good, Lizzy. You’ve just got to accept it.’
‘I can’t. That’s what I can’t do. Rico, it was just a dream—an enchantment. I was Cinderella at the ball, dancing with the Prince. Sleeping Beauty being woken by the Prince’s kiss. Fairytales. That’s all.’
He looked down at her. ‘Has it never occurred to you that the Prince in the fairytale might like a fairytale of his own? One where he gets to quit being a prince all the time? Do you know—’ his voice changed, his expression changed ‘—that you are the only person in my entire life to look at me and see me? Not a prince. Me.’
A look of confusion passed over her face. He gave a rueful smile. ‘You don’t remember, do you? But I do. I stood in this very cottage and told you we had to run from the paparazzi. And you kept saying why? Why did we have to run? Because you hadn’t the faintest idea who I was. Not a clue. You just saw some man bossing you about for no good reason. Not a prince. Not the Playboy Prince. Not the spare Prince to understudy the Crown Prince. Just some man who was trying to boss you about. And even when you knew I was a prince you never really knew how to behave with me, did you? You never called me Highness, or Sir, or anything. The whole royalty thing just…passed you by.’
She still looked troubled, her hands tightening around her mug. ‘It doesn’t matter what I thought. Rico, you’ve been royal all your life—’
‘And much good it’s done me,’ he interrupted her. ‘Listen, Lizzy—I’m a lot like you.’ His eyes were serious, holding hers intently. ‘Like you, all my life I’ve been—unnecessary. Just as you were. To your parents, only your sister was important. To mine, only the heir was important. The spare was just that—spare. Only with Paolo did they ever seem to realise they had a son—not a ruling prince-in-waiting. They lavished on Paolo the love they weren’t able
to lavish on Luca and me. I don’t know what screwed your parents up—because they were screwed up, Lizzy, badly, and they’d done an ace job of screwing you up too, until I got you out of that box they’d nailed you into—but I know what screwed mine up: being royal. I did a lot of thinking when I was put under house arrest by my own father, and it always came back to that. Maybe it’s different for Luca—he has, after all, something to do, something to look forward to doing. But me—well, I never had anything useful to do. I represented my father or Luca from time to time, attended a few Great Council meetings, signed a few state papers when my father was ill and Luca abroad. But I was never really needed.’
He touched the side of her cheek with a finger.
‘You and Ben are the first people that ever needed me,’ he said. ‘Just like Ben was the first person ever to need you, Lizzy. He gave your life meaning and purpose. And that’s what you and he do for me. Give my life meaning and purpose. That’s why,’ he said very softly, his eyes darkening, ‘we belong together.’
She was silent. She couldn’t say anything. But her eyes slipped away from him. In her chest a hard, heavy lump was forming.
‘What is it?’ he asked, in that same quiet voice.
The lump hardened, and speaking over it was painful, impossible. But she made herself do it.
‘You’re offering me a life I can’t accept.’
He frowned. ‘Why can’t you accept it?’ he asked, his voice still low.
She swallowed. The lump did not go away.
‘Because I shouldn’t have it,’ she said. ‘Because it should be Maria’s life. She was the one a prince fell in love with. She was the one who should have been a princess. She was the one Ben should have belonged to. Not me. Not me. I took Ben from her. I told the doctors to turn off her life support after Ben had been delivered, after he had grown to term inside a mother whose brain had died weeks earlier. I told them to kill my sister so I could have her baby for myself.’
Huge, anguished eyes looked at him. Her fingers were pressed so tight around the mug they showed white all the way through.