by Belle Linde
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AUTUMN SPICE
By Belle Linde
Copyright 2014 Belle Linde
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License Notes
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“Your mom is crazy. You were obviously meant to have her,” Renee cooed and made kissy faces at the three-month-old infant in her arms. “You’re mommy’s little treat, aren’t you? You’re just a sweet little caramel apple!” The smitten woman pretended to nibble on the little girl’s cheeks. They were so hard to resist; they really did look just like rosy little pink apples.
The baby responded with gurgles of her own. At just three months, baby Edith was already curious about the world around her. Lights and sounds caught her attention and she took everything in stride. She reached for the older woman’s earrings and gave a gentle tug.
Margaret Adler laughed at her best friend’s brashness. She had known Renee for her entire life, and had never known her to censor an opinion. “I think this just wasn’t exactly the family dream that my mother was envisioning for me.”
“Yeah, I remember when you told her that you were pregnant. Geez, by the way she reacted you would have thought that you were a teenager who made a mistake on prom night or something. There was some serious pearl-clutching going on.”
“Well, back in her day, if you wanted a family, you had to find Mr. Right first. I can’t really blame her for being a little shocked. It’s not like artificial insemination is really a common way to start a family, even now.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like you didn’t even try to find a husband.”
Margaret groaned. “Don’t remind me. It’s like the more successful I got, the more dismal my dating prospects became.”
“Do you regret it though?” Renee paused with a concerned look on her face.
“Getting my doctorate? No way. If I hadn’t spent my twenties busting my butt, I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in today. I love having a fulfilling career. Being a professor means that I have the time and money to parent Edie.”
Renee smiled. “Plus you’re a good role model for a little girl.”
“Thanks, Renee. Anyhow, the second my mom met Edie, all of her concerns over my marital status were history. My mom’s just as obsessed with Edie as everyone else.”
“You’re lucky she’s such a good baby,” Renee continued, bouncing Edith on her knee.
“Yeah, she really does have an easy-going disposition. She must have inherited that from her father,” Margaret smiled. She was just kidding, but she knew that she could be a little high strung sometimes. She had a Type A personality, which was a good thing in her field.
“What do you think he’s like?” Renee asked, absentmindedly.
“Who? Edie’s father?” Margaret had chosen his profile from a book of sperm donors and didn’t know much about him aside from the details listed on those few pages. She didn’t get to interview him or anything, which she would have preferred. She understood why the sperm bank didn’t allow in-person meetings though. Presumably the donors wanted privacy and didn’t want to worry about their kids turning up on their doorsteps unexpectedly.
“Well, he’s a doctor. He went to Harvard Medical School. He plays cello. His ancestors are Scandinavian.” Margaret listed off all the other little details she’d read.
“So you don’t really know anything about his personality or character?”
“Not really. I guess just things I can extrapolate based on his accomplishments? He must be smart and a hard worker.”
“He must be hot too, based upon how Edie turned out,” Renee observed. “Not that you’re not gorgeous,” she quickly corrected herself.
The girls laughed. “No, I know exactly what you mean.” Margaret stroked her daughter’s warm head. “Look at all these big, blonde curls! She looks like a little cherub.” Sometimes Margaret couldn’t believe how gorgeous and perfect her baby was. She knew that mothers loved their children, but she didn’t know it would be like this. She had never felt such a searing love in her entire life. She really did feel like her love for Edith was burning through her sometimes, it was so strong. It overwhelmed her and sometimes brought a tear to her eye, when she was feeling especially hormonal. She wished that she had known that motherhood would be so wonderful --even without Mr. Right-- much earlier in life.
“Anyways,” she continued, “I’ll be eternally grateful to him. He’ll never know, but his donation made my life perfect. He’s given me everything I ever wanted, and he doesn’t even know me. Sometimes I just feel a little bad that he’ll never get to know how wonderful and perfect Edie is though.”
Renee smiled. “It’s too bad he’ll never get to know how wonderful Edie’s mom is either,” she teased.
“I think you might be biased, being my best friend and all.” Honestly, Renee sometimes was a bigger cheerleader than Margaret’s own mother.
“Anyhow, don’t you guys have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon?”
“Yeah, I need to get ready. Sorry to kick you out, but I’m gonna try to get Edie to nap before we go so that she isn’t cranky during her appointment.”
Renee handed the baby over and the women said their goodbyes. Once she was alone, Margaret nursed the hungry little girl. Though she was just a tiny baby, she had a huge appetite and would eat at every opportunity offered. She was growing at the speed of light and Margaret was grateful for the opportunity to spend some quiet time alone with her girl.
Once the baby was full, she drifted off to sleep before she even unlatched from her mother. Margaret set her down carefully in her bassinet and quietly turned to her closet. What to wear for this doctor’s appointment?
She brushed past her teaching clothes, her few “date” dresses, and her winter coats. She always made a point to dress up a little bit for things like doctor’s appointments. She hated to admit it, but she was a bit insecure about being a single mom. She liked to boost her confidence by always looking put together when she left the house. She didn’t want people to judge her more than they already would.
She finally settled on a long denim skirt, some riding boots, and a light cashmere sweater. The weather was getting cooler and Margaret looked forward to breaking out her fall attire. Autumn was her favorite season. She loved crisp weather, she loved colorful leaves, and most of all, she loved Halloween.
Just the thought of trick or treating with her new little family put a smile on Margaret’s face. It was only early September, but she was already obsessing over cute costumes for her and Edith to wear. Maybe Edie could be a pumpkin and she could be a friendly witch, or she could be Princess Toadstool and Edie could be Toadie, or…
She shook her head as though she could physically shoo out the daydreams. She didn’t have enough time to mess around with Halloween stuff. She had to shower and finish dressing if she wanted to get to the doctor’s on time.
It’s not like she didn’t have the entire night to think about costumes. Edie went to bed --for the first time, at least-- at around 6PM and from that point forward, Margaret was generally on her own. She’d work on her lectures for when she returned from maternity leave, or sometimes she’d catch up on her favorite TV shows.
In general, living alone with Edith wasn’t a problem at all. She was,
of course, a very organized lady. Plus she had plenty of support from her mother and Renee if she ever needed any help.
Sometimes, though, in the evenings she’d get lonely. After the sun went down and Edith was sleeping, Margaret missed having a partner to cuddle up to. She’d fantasize about snuggling under a blanket in front of the fireplace on the sofa, maybe sipping hot apple cider and discussing the funny things Edith did that day.
All her life, there had been nothing that Margaret wanted more than a family of her own. Sure, she had been the type of girl who always got straight As and knew that she wanted to be an English professor from a young age. She had also been the type of girl who planned her own wedding, though. She would make one-of-a-kind bridal gowns out of toilet paper and hold ceremonies and receptions with all of her stuffed animals.
She had just assumed that if she worked hard and achieved her academic and career goals, Mr. Right would eventually turn up on her doorstep. She imagined herself marrying a fellow professor --maybe someone in STEM-- or possibly someone with a boring desk job who couldn’t wait to get home to his family every night. In her dreams, she and Mr. Right would have an entire household full of children.
Margaret had worked so hard to distinguish herself in her field, but as the years passed, eligible men seemed to completely disappear off of her radar. All of her colleagues in the English department married young and she found herself going on date after pointless date with men she had nothing in common with.
Her mother, God bless her heart, had begun to pressure her to just settle for one of the guys she met for coffee. She’d also set Margaret up on embarrassing blind dates with the sons of people from her church ladies’ group.
Margaret couldn’t blame her, since she wasn’t getting any younger and she wanted grandchildren almost as bad as Margaret herself had wanted kids.
Once Margaret hit 35, she knew that she had to take action. That action just wasn’t exactly the action her mother expected. Instead of trying to drag some poor schlump to the altar just so she could have a baby, Margaret dragged herself to the sperm bank.
It took her a couple weeks to get over her initial hangups over having to use a donor, but once she committed herself to the process, Margaret found that she enjoyed her pregnancy. Most of the people she knew, including her colleagues, were incredibly supportive to her. No one made any comments regarding her choice to use a donor. No one except her mother, that is. Instead, she heard a lot of sweet compliments about how her friends and coworkers thought that she would be a great mom.
She liked to think that she was a pretty good mom. She also liked to think that her chances of meeting the man of her dreams and maybe even having more children with this man weren’t totally gone. For the time being, though, she had to concentrate on getting little Edith through the first year of her life.
At the moment, that involved getting her to her three month check up. Margaret dressed Edith in one of her brand new baby outfits that included a hand-knit sweater and a little denim skirt, along with a warm pair of knit tights. She also put on a matching jacket and beanie.
The pair was fifteen minutes early to their appointment and Margaret and Edith had to take a seat in the waiting room. Margaret was surrounded by other bedraggled-looking moms who struggled to mind their own much older children. She smiled at the wild little boys running around the waiting room playing cowboys. Stuff that would have annoyed her five years ago seemed cute now.
Edith was beginning to fuss and squirm a little bit in her own car seat, so Margaret picked her up for some cuddles and bounces. The little girl loved gently rocking, and her mother wondered if she would be a daredevil when she grew up; the type of woman who loved fast cars and roller coasters.
Just when as the baby was beginning to settle, it happened. An incomprehensible volume of spit up spewed forth from her tiny little mouth all over Margaret’s cashmere sweater.
“Uh oh, baby!” Margaret exclaimed gently, first cleaning the kid with a handful of wet wipes, then doing her best to straighten herself out. She didn’t have a change of clothes, and while she was able to wipe off most of the white fluid, both her and the baby were now wearing slightly soiled clothes.
There went her plan to show up at her appointment looking like she just stepped out of a parenting magazine. Just then, the receptionist called them back to the exam room.
“We’ll be right there!” Margaret shouted back, still trying to make at least Edith look presentable. After she’d done the best she could, she followed the older woman back to an empty exam room to wait for their pediatrician.
Margaret had been visiting Dr. Nillson ever since she was a kid. He was a kind old gentleman when she had been his patient, and he was a kind really old gentleman now that she was bringing her own kid. He was always able to soothe her new-mother worries and he never made her feel judged for her path to parenthood.
So it came as quite a shock when a much younger, very handsome man strode in carrying a file folder and wearing a white coat.
“Ms. Adler? Edith Adler?” the slightly disheveled looking young doctor asked, “and what is this little sweetheart’s name?” he cooed a bit over Edith without even glancing at Margaret.
“Actually, that’s Edith. I’m Margaret,” she held out her hand and the doctor shook it, finally noticing her.
“Whoa, what’s with the grandma names? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone under the age of 70 named Edith.”
The question took Margaret by surprise and the shock must have shown on her face.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with Edith,” the doctor quickly followed. “Edith is a beautiful name. I think I had an aunt named Edith.”
The man was so flustered that Margaret could only find him charming. “It’s actually a family name,” she explained. “So is Margaret.”
“Well I think Edith and Margaret are beautiful names,” the doctor continued. “Oh my,” he said, noticing the spit up milk on Margaret’s sweater, “things not going quite as planned today, huh?”
Now it was Margaret’s turn to blush. “Yes, she spit up on me in the waiting room--”
“Oh, don’t worry about it!” The doctor interrupted. “I’m probably wearing at least three different bodily fluids this very moment!”
Margaret couldn’t help it; she laughed at the goofy doctor’s claim. “Well I guess I’m overdressed then.”
“Hey, you can’t help it in this business.” The young doc beamed a hundred watt smile and Margaret found herself noticing the young man’s good looks. He looked like he might be Scandinavian, with his huge frame and pale hair. Margaret caught herself staring.
“So are you filling in for Dr. Nillson,” Margaret asked, changing the subject.
“Nope,” the doctor smiled. “I am Dr. Nillson. Chris,” he added. “But you’re probably asking about my dad, Roger Nillson. He’s retiring this month and I’m taking over his practice. Actually, we’re throwing a surprise party for him and inviting his patients. It’s Sunday the 8th of November. You’ll probably get an invitation this week.”
“Oh wow. He was my doctor when I was a kid. Good for him.”
“Yeah, a lot of our current patients are the kids of my dad’s former patients. He was a great doctor,” the younger Dr. Nillson clearly admired his father a great deal. “I sound like I’m bragging because he’s my dad, but he really was a good doctor.”
“I agree,” Margaret smiled.
“Anyhow, let’s see if I can live up to his standards.” Dr. Nillson looked Edie over as she lay on her back on his exam table. “Well, you’re just an adorable little munchkin, aren’t you,” he cooed as she waved her chubby little arms and legs at him. “Look at all these blond curls! You didn’t get those from Mommy. Is Daddy a blond?”
Margaret felt her cheeks fill with color. You’d think she’d be used to these sorts of questions by now, but they always caught her slightly off guard. She wasn’t ashamed of using a donor, but it wasn’t exactly fun to explain either
. People inevitably had a laundry list of invasive questions that occasionally bordered on the obscene.
“Yes,” she answered impulsively. It was true, her donor did have blond hair. That was stated in his profile, along with his height (tall), his eye color (blue), his weight (190), and his IQ (high).
“Uh oh, was that insensitive? Sorry, sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth.” Margaret watched the doctor fiddle nervously with his stethoscope and felt a little bad for putting him on the spot, even though she hadn’t really done anything of the sort. “Just so you know, we think all sorts of families are great here.”
“It’s okay,” Margaret answered. “I guess I’m just a little over-sensitive. I conceived with a donor and sometimes I get into weird conversations about it.”
Dr. Nillson’s face brightened. “A donor?” he chirped. “Wow, that’s great. So cool what science can do these days. I am a huge fan of reproductive technologies.”
“Yes, I guess there is something a little bit science-fictiony about the process. In a good way. Anyhow, I’m glad the possibility was available because now I have my Edie.” Margaret picked up her daughter and redressed her since the exam was finished. She enjoyed chatting with the doc, but she knew that Edie would be hungry soon. Plus Dr. Nillson presumably still had to see all those patients who were still sitting in the waiting room.
“I’d do the same thing if I was able. It would make my life so much easier. Anyhow, I’m blabbering and I see you need to get going. I hope I see you at our surprise party!”
*****
Chris Nillson watched his newest patient leave with her mother and sighed. What a dream, to be able to start a family whenever you felt ready. Chris absolutely would have had a child with reproductive tech by this point if he’d been able. He had thought for sure that he’d have a wife and a whole slew of kids by this point. That had been the plan.
Actually, as far as he knew, he may very well have several offspring. Too bad he would never get to meet them, let alone raise and love them like he wanted too. He was such a big fan of reproductive tech that he himself had contributed to a sperm bank while he was in medical school.