“Nor, will my lesson plans,” Miss Janet agreed.
“Well, I am sorry to lose such good company, but I understand,” Cate said.
“Miss Janet, could this sweet boy walk you home?”
“That would be lovely.”
“Well, I guess it really is goodbye, then,” Matthew hugged Cate and gave her a little peck on the check.
Miss Janet waved to Cate, “Goodbye dear. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Miss Janet took Matthew’s arm and they began their walk down the street.
Cate went in the house to see what Mrs. Garcia and Sarah were doing. Sarah was still having her snack, and Mrs. Garcia was busy preparing dinner. Cate reminded Sarah of her nap time. “Well, Baby Girl, isn’t it about time for your siesta?”
“Si, Señorita,” Sarah answered.
“Are you finished with your snack?”
“Si.”
“Well, let’s go take a nap then.”
“Are you going to take a nap too?” Sarah asked.
“I just might. Mrs. Garcia, do you need me to help you do anything?”
“No, Miss Cate. I am fine. Why don’t you take a siesta too?”
Cate and Sarah went to the guest room, which was Cate’s room when she was there. They lay down for a nap, and Sarah went to sleep while twirling Cate’s hair. Sleep did not come as quickly for Cate. She lay there looking at Sarah, Jenny would be proud of you. Maybe Jenny would even be proud of me, for the way I’ve taken care of Sarah. She wondered if Jenny would approve of David and Kim, and concluded that she would. Kim looked a bit like Jenny, blonde like Jenny, but she had blue eyes while Jenny’s were green.
Sarah was such a loveable, adorable little girl, and she looked so much like her father, but had ways and mannerisms like Jenny. Cate saw them often, as Sarah went about the business of being a five year old. She wondered if Jenny’s ways and mannerisms would be lost as Sarah’s memories of her mother grew fainter and fainter, and dropped into her subconscious.
Cate also found herself dealing again with feelings of impending loss. She loved Sarah; loved taking care of her. She loved Sarah needing her, and wanting her to be the one to take care of her, and the fact that David needed her for Sarah as well. But if things continued to go well with David and Kim, neither one would need her. Cate realized she needed to bow out, and give Kim a chance to take her place. That was the right thing to do, the mature thing to do, but it’s so hard.
Cate hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep until Sarah woke her about two o’clock. They went to the kitchen for some juice and afterwards, watched a Veggie Tales video, and spent the remainder of the day in the backyard.
Spying the Hernandez children who lived next door, Sarah asked, “Can they come and play?”
“If their mother says yes,” Cate said
“Will you ask?”
“Why don’t you?
“Okay,” Sarah hurried next door. She stopped to ask the children, after which she knocked on the door. Mrs. Hernandez came to the door and Sarah asked, “Can Suzi, and Diana come play with me?”
“Yes, they may,” Mrs. Hernandez answered, as she waved to Cate.
Cate spent the rest of the afternoon watching the children play. Mrs. Garcia brought lemonade and snacks for the children.
As Mrs. Garcia poured her a glass of lemonade, Cate said, “Thank you for the refreshments.”
“You are most welcome.”
“I would have thought you would be ready to go home by now. I’m sure that you have a special project you want to complete while David is away.”
“Yes, I do, but there was a special project here I wanted to complete first.”
“Really, what project?”
“Dinner is ready whenever you want to eat.”
“Thank you. That’s very thoughtful.”
“You are welcome, and there are extra meals in the freezer that can be re-heated.”
“Mrs. Garcia, I appreciate that, but you didn’t have too.”
“I know mi amiga, but I wanted to. You can come home after school and relax.”
“I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”
“Thank you,” Mrs. Garcia paused, as an expression of gravity took over her face. She lowered her voice, “And, there is another matter, I would like to speak with you about.”
Cate clearly noted Mrs. Garcia’s somber tone and mood, “Okay...”
“Maybe, it is none of my business, but I speak from my heart. You are a wonderful woman.”
Cate smiled, “Thank you.”
“Mr. David, he is a wonderful man of God.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Miss Kim and Mr. Matthew are fine people,” Mrs. Garcia said.
Cate responded with puzzlement, “Yes, they are.” Where is she going with this?
Mrs, Garcia looked to see that Sarah was out of earshot, “But, I see the way you look at Mr. David.”
Cate blushed, “Mrs. Garcia.”
“Miss Cate, I do not mean to upset you. I know that you care for each other.”
“You’re mistaken.”
“I see what neither of you mean for anyone to see. I see that you love him, not Mr. Matthew, and he loves you, not Miss Kim.”
“You’re wrong,” Cate protested.
Mrs. Garcia shook her head, “I do not think so mi amiga.”
Cate melted, tears welling up in her eyes, “I do love him, Mrs. Garcia, but I don’t think he loves me.”
“I think you are wrong. I see it when he is with you, and when he speaks of you. You are wrong, and I know the little one, she loves you with all her heart.”
“I don’t believe that he does, but even if he does, we, we can’t…” Cate clutched at her stomach, Why can’t I stop this?
“But, mi hija, if you love him, and he loves you, he should be with you.”
Cate took a deep breath, “He can’t be with me.”
“Why chica bonita?”
In tears, Cate explained, “Mrs. Garcia, I’m divorced, and if he married me, he couldn’t be a missionary with the agency that sent him. He would lose his ministry here.”
“I am sorry, Miss Cate.” She reached into her dress and handed a handkerchief to Cate, “I did not mean to make you sad. I should not have spoken.”
“It’s okay. I know that you meant well,” Cate wiped her eyes, “believe me, I wish that it could be as you say.”
Mrs. Garcia comforted her, with pats of affection, trying not to draw the children’s attention to what was happening. “Miss Cate, I will say no more. I will mention it to no one.”
“Thank you and, I appreciate your good intentions,” Cate sniffed.
“You are most welcome.”
Cate quickly wiped her face when she saw Sarah came running toward them.
“Can we have some more lemonade?”
“Yes, hija, I will get more,” Mrs. Garcia answered.
“Muchas gracias Mrs. Garcia,” Sarah said.
“You are welcome, mi niña.”
After she brought more lemonade, Mrs. Garcia said her goodbyes and went home.
For the rest of the evening, Cate’s mind constantly replayed Mrs. Garcia’s comments. It was evident to Cate that Kim must have noticed the same thing that Mrs. Garcia had. That was why she had confronted her about David. Cate wondered if Matthew suspected her feelings for David. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t proposed to me? Moreover, she wondered if Mrs. Garcia was right about David’s feelings for her. Mrs. Garcia’s observations caused her to have hopes-and regrets. Their situation was a ‘no win’ situation. She wished she could change it but, she knew there was no chance.
Twenty One
The following day Cate awoke still thinking about her dilemma. She and Sarah gathered up what they needed for the day and went to school.
As she arrived, the first person she met was Matthew. She hoped that she did not appear as guilty as she felt. Mrs. Garcia’s knowledge of her true feelings for David made her feel uneasy. She knew that if Matthew found out
, he would be hurt, and she didn’t want that. She did love him; at least that’s what I keep telling myself. Anyway, he loved her, and she wanted to be married to a man who truly loved her. But, she could not convince herself to marry Matthew.
Cate welcomed the children to class and focused on her responsibilities, putting the thoughts that plagued her to a backburner. She was grateful for the break from her struggle.
The day was a normal school day. The children were excited about being back, and about seeing Cate. They were eager to learn, and Cate was glad. There was no time to consciously consider Mrs. Garcia’s comments.
A few minutes before school was to end, Matthew poked his head in the door and asked to speak with her. As she walked slowly toward him, her sense of guilt took over.
“What are you and Sarah up to tonight?”
She tried hard to sound nonchalant, “Nothing special.”
“Is it okay if I come over?”
“After a free meal, huh?”
“That’s an added bonus, if you’re inviting me to dinner, but I really want to spend time with my favorite girl.”
Cate had no excuse to decline, “We’re having leftovers.”
“That sounds great.”
“Okay, we’ll eat about five.”
When the bell rang, Matthew went to his office as Cate gathered up Sarah and started for home. Even though Sarah vied for her attention, her fear that Matthew might sense her inner turmoil captured her thoughts. Suddenly, a new fear took over, what if Matthew was coming over to propose? She prayed silently, but fervently for God’s help.
When they arrived home, both changed clothes and relaxed for a few minutes, by watching a Veggie Tales video. Before the video ended, Cate went to the kitchen to re-heat some of the food Mrs. Garcia had prepared.
Matthew arrived at five on the dot. When he knocked, Sarah ran to open the door.
“Hello, Mr. Matthew. Dinner is ready.”
“Very good, Miss Sarah, will you escort me to the table?” Matthew reached out his hand, for Sarah to walk him to the table. As they entered the kitchen, he saw Cate putting the final touches to the meal. “It looks great. I’m hungry.”
“Dinner is served, Mr. Kennedy.”
“Bragging about your cooking skills, huh,” Matthew winked.
“Bragging about Mrs. Garcia’s cooking skills.” Cate corrected, as she asked Sarah to say grace.
Small talk about school and the trip to the Jivaro village made up dinner conversation, after which Cate did dishes, while Matthew helped Sarah practice writing her letters and numbers. Once finished with dishes and homework, they played Chinese checkers. Sarah won two games out of three.
Eight o’clock was Sarah’s bedtime. As the clock struck eight, Sarah excused herself so she could put on her pajamas. When she came back, she said goodnight to Matthew and asked Cate to tuck her in.
“I’ll be back shortly,” Cate said.
As Cate tucked her in, Sarah grabbed Cate around the neck, “I love you Cate.”
“I love you too, Baby Girl. Sweet dreams.”
Cate made her way back to the living room, dreading being alone with Matthew.
When he saw her, he smiled, “Sarah’s such a wonderful girl.”
“Yes, she is.”
Matthew’s face took on a serious look and Cate said a silent prayer, Oh, God no. Please no. But, her prayer was not answered.
“Cate,” Matthew said, as he took her hand. “Do you remember me telling you that once your mother was better that I wanted to talk to you about something?”
Afraid to look him in the eye, Cate stared at the floor, whispering, “Yes.”
“Cate, I know that this should be done in a more romantic atmosphere, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”
Cate sighed and interrupted, “Oh, Matthew.”
“Please, let me finish,” he dropped to one knee.
Cate looked up and reluctantly, barely above a whisper, responded, “Okay.”
“Cate, I love you more than I can say, and I want you to be my wife. Will you please marry me?”
She looked away, all the breath left her body, “Matthew...”
He was taken aback by her lack of an enthusiastic ‘yes’, “Cate, I know that you care for me.”
“Yes, I do, I really do… But I–I can’t marry you, not right now.”
“Why?”
“Matthew, there is so much that you don’t know about me.”
“I know enough,” he rose from his knee, and sat beside her.
“I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think it’s true at all.”
He bent down trying to make eye contact, “If you think there’s more I need to know, then tell me.”
“I think we need more time to get to know each other.”
“You mean you need more time.” He sat erect, his tone betraying his hurt, “I don’t.”
“Yes, I guess, I mean-I need more time.”
“But, you’re not saying no. Are you? You’re just saying… not now?”
Cate bit her lip and stared at the floor, “I’m saying not now.”
“I can live with not now, because that means maybe later,” he kissed her gently on the cheek.
“I’m sorry, Matthew.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I’ll wait—until you are ready.” He gently placed his hand under her chin, “Please look at me.”
Cate slowly raised her head and looked at him.
Now he could see clearly the pain on her face. “Cate,” he tenderly touched her face with his hand.
Cate placed her hand on his, “Thank you for being so understanding,”
“Sure,” he looked at his watch. “I probably ought to be going. I need to get to school early tomorrow.”
“Matthew, I’m sorry.”
“I told you, it’s all right.”
“I’m not sure it really is,” Cate took his hand and walked him to the door.
“Look, I love you, and I’d marry you tomorrow if I could, but if you need more time, you’ve got it. I want you to be sure. I want our marriage to last forever,” he kissed her softly and said goodnight.
As she closed the door, Cate thanked God that Matthew was the type of man that he was. She prayed that God would help her stop loving David, and help her love Matthew.
She fell asleep that night praying and looking at the mountains in the distance. They never failed to remind her that God was an ever-present source of strength and help. Once again, she committed her life unreservedly to Him.
The next morning she awoke with a sense of peace. She might not know what her future held, but she knew who held it. That was enough for her.
The days following Matthew’s proposal were busy. Not only did she have her regular teaching load, she had volunteered to supervise the kindergarten through second grade musical presentation for National Community Day on February 27. That took extra planning and meetings after school, and prevented her from spending time with Matthew.
*****
David, Kim, Dr. and Mrs. Patterson came home the following Saturday. They had been gone for ten days and were excited about the results of their trip. Matthew, Cate, and Sarah listened with great interest as everyone recounted the events of the past ten days.
During the visit to the village, the group shared the gospel while the Jivaro man and others served as interpreters. By the end of that first day, more than 100 people had accepted Christ, and at week’s end one thousand villagers had become Christians. David and Dr. Patterson promised to return in two weeks.
“It was a life changing experience,” Kim said.
“For all of us,” Dr. Patterson added.
“I’ve had the Lord bless my efforts in great ways before,” David said, “but this is the first massive outpouring of His Spirit that I’ve been privileged to be a part of.”
Touched by the group’s excitement, Matthew said, “It must have been awesome.”
Dr. Patterson nodded, “It was like
our own Pentecost.”
“It was wonderful,” Mrs. Patterson said.
Matthew looked at David, “Did you say you were returning in about two weeks?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Who’s going this time?”
“If you’re wondering if you’ll have to cover my classes again, the answer is no,” Kim answered.
“Probably, Dr. Patterson and I will go.” David smiled at Matthew, “Do I hear your offer to join us?”
“You heard wishful thinking,” Matthew answered.
“We’d love to have you,” David said, as Dr. Patterson nodded in agreement.
“I wish I could, but with National Community Day coming up I have a lot to do.”
“National Community Day!” Kim threw up her hands, “I totally forgot about that. I’m going to be so far behind at school.”
“You would be, if you hadn’t had a super substitute covering your classes,” Matthew said.
“And, who was that super sub?”
“Me of course,” Matthew answered, with a grin.
“You?”
“Me.”
“Thanks boss,”’ Kim hugged him, after receiving a nod of permission from Cate.
Mr. Patterson looked at his watch and stood, “I’m afraid we must be going.”
“Are you sure you won’t stay for lunch?” Cate asked.
“Thank you, but if we don’t leave now, we won’t get home until late afternoon,” Dr. Patterson said.
“I’ll walk you out,” David offered. Sarah followed her daddy and the Pattersons out the door.
Kim turned to Matthew, “Anything interesting happen while we were gone?”
Immediately on hearing Kim’s question, Cate and Matthew locked gazes. Matthew thought about his proposal to Cate, “Uh, nothing at all.”
“Well, since you two are such good friends, I have an announcement.” Kim’s eyes sparkled with excitement, “While we were gone, David and I talked about marriage.”
The words were like arrows through Cate’s heart. There was an immediate visceral reaction, her heart began to beat rapidly, she felt flushed and faint. She tried to steady herself.
The Calling Page 15