by C. K. Rieke
“Yes, I remembered,” Roren said. “I did live with it for far too many days.” He looked at Kera with an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean that, I did it because you asked me to, and I’d do it again one-thousand times over.”
“I don’t remember that,” Kera said softly, her face flickering in the dull light of the fire. “I was under one of my spells. I believe it was the right thing to do though, it was what saved Lilaci, and found the egg.”
“Aye,” Burr said. “Sounds like a good spell to be under.”
“The sandworms are the biggest worry once we are down there. We’ll have to remain quiet. They can’t see, so they rely on sound in the dark. If we enter carefully through the Hidden Garden, we should be able to avoid them, and sneak to the egg and its corridor. The worms seem to stay in their mating pit. The young ones leave out the garden’s entrance. Chomping down any people who stop there long enough to rest a night or several.
Fewn remained quiet while they talked about the insides of the cave. Lilaci looked at her menacingly as she spoke about the caves and the sandworms.
“You hear that?” Kera said excitedly. “We’re going to fix Roren right up. Like it never happened.”
“That’s right, Kera,” Lilaci said. She watched as the young girl leaned over and lay her head on Fewn’s shoulder, which made Fewn smile, as she looked at Lilaci with remorseful eyes. Lilaci assumed she still felt bad about what she’d done, and for good reason. Lilaci more than once fantasized about putting her blade through Fewn’s heart, stomach, or face. Looking at her then, she felt more pity than anger. She felt sad the girl she’d known almost her whole life had run from everything she ever knew and was now with a new pack that didn’t fully trust her. She had nowhere to go, as no one cared for her at all, and she must’ve felt like a bit of an outsider, even to Kera. Kera undoubtedly still remember Fewn taking her by force towards the city, but she forgave her.
These lands don’t give many second chances. Fewn should be counting her lucky stars she’s even alive at all. But should things get worse, and when swords and magic mix on the sands, the more swords on your side, the better. I’d take her by my side in any fight, as long as she was on my side. It’s funny how time works things through, I trust Kera more with Roren, and even Burr, than alone with her. Not long ago, it was just us three women, and I had no one to trust but Fewn, and look how she betrayed me? But I made a promise to Kera to forgive her and forgive her I shall. However, if there’s even a need for a third chance, I’ll cut her down so quickly she won’t have time to spit.
She looked down to see Kera had already closed her eyes and was soundly asleep. Lilaci could tell because Kera’s mouth hung open just a little when she finally, fully dozed off.
“Should we rise with the sun?” Burr asked the others but looked mostly at Lilaci.
“Yes,” she replied. “Just before dawn we should be on our way. We’ll be carving more to the south from here on out. I’ll take first watch again tonight.”
“No,” Fewn said. “I’ll take first watch, you did it last time.”
“Fine,” Burr said. “I’ll take second shift. Lilaci’ll do third. Roren you’re going to be able to sleep a whole night through.
Roren gave a rare laugh, it was like a chuckle, and it seemed to catch even him off guard. Fewn couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“What’s so funny?” Burr asked.
Fewn continued to laugh, and even covered her mouth as not to wake Kera. “I don’t know, it’s just that Roren looks so funny when he laughs. I think he’s going mad. You see the way his white teeth shine? It’s like he’s possessed.”
Lilaci smirked, as Roren seemed offended by the statement. He frowned and scowled at Fewn. “At least I don’t look like a white-painted jester heckling. Making the servants of the king laugh.”
Burr let out a laugh at that, as Fewn had scowled back at him from the comment.
Lilaci watched as Burr laughed at the two.
“What are you laughing at?” Fewn scoffed. “You should be at home with your feet up next to a fire, with a belly full of mead and spirits, you old crone!”
That just made Burr laugh harder and louder. He slapped his leg and howled. Then Lilaci began to laugh, and Roren followed.
Fewn started to chuckle again, but stopped, and sighed. “What did we start laughing at again?”
Later, as the group drifted off to sleep, save Fewn who stayed awake for first watch, Lilaci thought to herself. She was laying on a borrowed cloth from Burr, as her bag was lost in the flood, and she stared out at the high dunes as stood strongly in the cool desert breeze. It’s amazing how the dunes will never be the same again. Tomorrow, they may look the same, but they won’t be. The next day, they’ll be even different, and so on that will go for the rest of time. Far after me, far after everything I know. The sands will go on and change the Arr in its image. All this, everything we are doing now is going to be forgotten someday. Even if we win, even if we bring a dragon back to soar through the skies, the sands erase everything, given enough time. But that doesn’t matter. All that matters is finding what gives you passion, gives you breath, and makes your heart pound. Kera is that for me. I could still be in Veranor’s housing. I could even be in Sorock now still. I’d be a trained, like Elan was to me. I’d know nothing of the feeling of love. Friendship would have a completely different meaning then. I’d even be under the mages spell in the Commander’s own training grounds. I could still be in the darkness of my old room, my prison. Here, under the stars with her, that’s where I’m meant to be. Here, with her.
A flicker of light appeared, and as she opened her eyes, she felt the warmth of the earliest light of the sun. For a moment, she enjoyed the glow on the horizon, past the long desert. That moment faded instantly. She turned over, wide awake, and that pain in her heart returned. It felt like dark fingers went a clutched her throat and stomach. Panic set in, and fear followed quickly.
“Wake up!” she yelled. She went and kicked Roren in the leg with her boot. “Wake up! Burr.”
The two men were awake quickly, and they knew too what had happened.
Lilaci paced around frantically, looking out at the sands in the early dawn.
Roren went about rummaging around the fire, looking for clues.
“You know what happened, right?” Burr said in a gruff, angry voice.
“Don’t say it,” Lilaci said.
“You were wrong to trust her,” Burr said.
“Don’t say it.”
“I’ll kill her,” Roren said, holding his hands up in front of his face, his fingers curled in like he wanted to grab and squeeze.
“Fewn took her,” Burr said. “While we slept. Fewn took Kera . . . Again.”
Part VI
The Witch Queen
Chapter Thirty-Three
Harsh winds blew in from the east, blowing the sands up at them— biting, burning, raking at their skin. The sun had faded to a hazy glow behind the clouds. The air was deafening, and all they could see before them was endless sand as it coursed by. Lilaci found it best at those times to always just look at her feet, as she trudged through the sand. Step by step. Just keep on walking. Just keep on. Don’t stop. Just keep pushing onward. The sooner we find them, the sooner I’ll finally send my dagger into Fewn’s heart. The hatred I feel for her right now will only be quenched by blood. Damnit Fewn, why did I trust you?
The sky was lit with an auburn haze as the clouds passed over, and the sands hit their backs. Lilaci’s hair whipped into her eyes, and her cloak’s tail flew in front of her as she strode along. The last remnants of the mountains had faded, and the upcoming range may be in sight on the following day, she thought. More than anything, what killed Lilaci the most about Fewn disappearing with Kera was the fact that there were no tracks to follow. She didn’t know where Fewn would’ve taken her, let alone for what reason. Yet again, Lilaci was left empty-handed— no Kera, a fistful of questions, and a biting heart to kill.
Bu
rr sauntered up next to Lilaci and uncorked his watersack. “Here,” he yelled in the howling winds. “Drink. You need to drink.”
She shook her head.
“It wasn’t a question. You need to drink. You’ve been walking too long without it. I insist!”
She took the watersack and put it up to her lips, letting it haphazardly fall down her cheek. Her eyes remained forward, and she was silent.
Burr looked unsure of what to say, as it appeared he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. “We are all to blame,” he finally said. He looked at her, as if he was waiting for her to respond. “I’m at a loss too. I feel at fault, more than anyone. I didn’t know Fewn, but I should’ve guessed she’d do it again. I should’ve just cut her down the first time we saw her back at the Great Dune. It was my responsibility too.” Yes, he did call for me to kill her, but Kera jumped onto her as I was about to kill her. We couldn’t have disobeyed Kera, but then again, she may still be with us if we hadn’t have listened to her. Fewn would be long dead and buried back at the mountain, and we’d surely be with her now. Was Kera wrong?
Roren appeared at Lilaci’s other side, on her right. They’d been walking the entirety of the day, without much talking. They were all in a state of self-blame, with perhaps Roren most of all. He’d been sworn to protect Kera his entire life, yet it could be argued Lilaci felt the most guilt, as she’d let Kera slip through her fingers not once, but twice to the same person. The exact same person who beguiled her as a child, the person who felt inferior in Sorock, her number two. Now, the number two was the only one who was with Kera.
Roren walked to her side, his bald head sunken low, yet he seemed curious as to what Lilaci was thinking. “You think we made the right decision now?” he asked. “You think heading towards the cave is where she is?”
Lilaci didn’t respond. She just continued forward, with the wind at her back. Her lips were curled down. She felt such hatred toward Fewn, yet she felt the same disgust for herself. How could she let Kera down like that? How could she fail so miserably? She couldn’t even wake for her watch at night? It’d only been a few nights without much sleep, how would that let her keep her guard down? Lilaci felt, for the first time, perhaps since her near-death fight with sandworms before— that she wanted to die. She just wanted the easy, sweet release of death. There was no more struggle, no more fight, no more family counting on her. It was just her— and the end.
“Lilaci,” Roren said. “Do you feel her? You may not want to speak now, but I just need to know if you can feel the magic over you waning, or if you feel Kera near, blocking it. Tell me. Tell me please.”
“I—” Lilaci said softly in the blowing winds. “I— I don’t feel the mages’ spell over me. Kera must still be somewhere around.” She choked up on those words, with tears coming to her eyes, and her lips began to quiver. “She is somewhere near. I can feel her, but I don’t know where she is.”
Burr put her hand on her back and tried to calm her nerves. She could feel the unease in his hand. “She’s around here somewhere, we’ll find her.”
“You don’t know Fewn,” Lilaci said. “She’s been trained just as I have. She knows all I know. They could be heading anywhere without being detected, even by us. I bet Kera is so scared right now.” Lilaci drove both her fists to the sides of her head. “She’s scared. I can sense it. Kera is being taken again. I should have known. I should have felt it.”
“I understand,” Burr said. “I can feel your pain, I can feel your struggle.”
She rushed towards him with her index finger pointed firmly in the square of his chest. “What do you understand? You want to know what the Garen Pixie told me? You want to know the final whisper that you say cursed me to an early death? Huh? Do you?”
He pushed her finger and hand away from him, and fervently said, “No! I don’t want to know your curse. You keep that to yourself!”
“The pixie told me there’d be a traitor in my midst sometime, and I didn’t listen. That’s the real curse, that was my real curse. Not old age. The real curse was my stupidity. The real curse was my naivety.”
“Still don’t believe in the Garen Pixie truths?” Burr said, looking in Roren’s direction. Roren bit his lip and looked away.
“We’ve got to get moving,” Lilaci said. “I don’t know which direction, but we have to move. The longer we wait, the further away she gets.”
“Maybe . . .” Burr said.
“What do you mean?” Lilaci said.
“It’s possible she’s not just taking her further into the desert or to one of the cities, but what if she’s got a destination in mind? Somewhere close.”
“The cave?” Roren asked. “Why would she take her there?”
Burr took a deep breath and explained further. “There’s a chance she’s going to take her to the queen in Voru, but the odds that they’d forgive her— in my mind at least— are small. Minuscule even. Then there’s the chance she’s taking her back out into the desert. That doesn’t make much sense either, to wander aimlessly.”
“A lot of things Fewn does, don’t make sense,” Lilaci said. “She won’t have that problem much longer though. She’s not going to have to ability to make decisions soon, let alone draw breath.”
“Finally,” Burr said, as if he wasn’t interrupted, “if she took her to the cave, and to the dragon egg, maybe she wanted to prove something. Hell!” he spat. “That damned Fewn doesn’t make any rational sense any way I try to put it together.” He pulled his sword from its scabbard, and it shimmered in the sunlight. It rang with a dull hum in the winds. “What was the point in taking Kera? There’s only one way to find out. Let’s find her and ask her.”
“The one thing I’m for certain of,” Roren said. “Is that Fewn does care for Kera.”
Lilaci grew angry at that statement. If she cares so much for her, then why put her in more danger? She’s safer with all of us than just with Fewn. “What do you mean? She took her! She took her from our care!”
“Hear me out,” Roren said. “I’ve seen the way she looks at her. I feel the same way about her. Perhaps— perhaps Fewn feared for her own safety . . . With us. But she couldn’t leave Kera behind, and she knew Kera wouldn’t go willingly with her, and leave us.”
“. . . So, she took her,” Lilaci said. “That makes the most sense in Fewn’s deranged mind. That seems most plausible.”
“So Fewn still wants to be Kera’s hero,” Burr scoffed. “Even when she’s taken her by force yet again. Is she crazy or just plain stupid?”
“Well,” Lilaci said, “if Fewn wants to be Kera’s hero then yes, there’s only one place she’d take her.”
“Then let’s be off,” Roren said. “To the sandworm’s cave.”
Two days pass.
Not a footprint.
Not a sign to be seen.
No Fewn.
No Kera.
Two days of walking. No sleep. No rest.
She hardly noticed, but Lilaci’s hands and arms had begun to subtle shake. Burr had the wits to collect some cacti and killed a small brown lizard along the way, but there was nothing on their minds but finding Kera. Lilaci herself had gone to a dark place. The one that stood out most to her and pushed her onward more than her broken heart— was the mages’ spell was still distant from her. Lilaci was either just out of range of Kera, or there was some kind of evil being cast on her.
Maybe there’s been a spell cast on Kera, and she’s here next to us, but we can’t see her. Maybe she’s right here, crying out for me to help her, but I can’t hear or see her. Maybe she’s under my feet in a cave, scared and alone in the dark. Oh Kera, what have I done? I will never be able to live past this. I should’ve just killed Fewn right then and there back at the Dune of the Last Dragon. You’re just a girl, I love you, but I should’ve just listened to my own instinct, and slit her throat. Now look what I’ve done. I’m so weak. I’m so weak without you. I can’t put into words how much I miss you. I’m afraid. I�
�m afraid I’m never going to see you again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to wrap my arms around you. I’ll never get to make you feel safe again. I’m so . . . Alone.
“Here.” Lilaci felt a bump on her shoulder. “Drink,” Roren said, holding out his watersack.
“No thanks.”
“I didn’t ask,” Roren said. Lilaci couldn’t help it, but her first instinct was to hit Roren across the face. Not some light smack, but a balled fist knuckle in the eye sort of punch. Something to knock him back on his rear. Then she’d mount him and pummel him with a fury of fists. She was worried she may even give into her compulsions. Am I going to turn into something like Fewn? I can feel my senses are changing. My body wants nourishment and rest. My mind wants to think of anything else but her. But my heart . . . My heart is driving me forward. She took the watersack angrily from Roren and drank fervently, faster than she normally would.
They were underneath the stars, millions of specks of light streaming in a long wave above. A handful of heavy clouds drifted by, lit in the light of a full moon, casting their shadows along the dunes. A light breeze was at their backs. Lilaci knew they were close to the cave, but without the sun to light the desert, she knew not which way to look.
Then, she felt something change, there was something happening. Something new, something she’d never felt before. Lilaci looked around, her eyes scanning in all directions. Her senses were on high alert, and her skin began to tingle. Her sword was already fully in her hand.
“Lilaci,” Burr said. She turned to look at him, he had both his arms loosely at his side. His bow and arrow were hanging at his sides. He was looking straight up. “Look.”
Her gaze moved upward, and her jaw dropped open to see a moon that was fully lit only minutes before, was beginning to dim. The entire west side of the moon was starting to close in, slowly creeping its darkness across it.